September 26, 2004

LATE B-DAY PRESENTS

To me, from Physics Geek.

Fergie 2 is my favorite, just because she has that "... and now for the riding crop" look on her face.

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HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS AN AMERICAN?

In the left sidebar, you'll notice a logo that I stole from someone who stole it from Homer Simpson's T-shirt. It's supposed to symbolize the tyranny of American imperialism.

I like it because it sends an honest message to our erstwhile "allies" France, Germany, and the rest of the jelly-backboned UN thugocrats.

You might not like America's foreign policy, but their ain't much you nancy-boys can do about it, is there?

In your face, Dominique.

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NO APOLOGY

So I heard that some folks in Arkansas got something in the mail from the RNC claiming that liberals want to ban the Bible.

Um. Ok.

Here's an actual picture of what the controversy is about:

(click to enlarge)

In my travels about the blogosphere, I was surprised to see that several right-wing bloggers seemed upset about this, and suggested that the RNC should apologize.

These people have taken leave of their senses.

Let's put this in context: It's a direct mail advertisement. In order to be effective, the cover of ANY mass mailing MUST do something to encourage the recipient to open it up. If it ends up in the trash without being read, it's a waste of money. A good technique is making an exaggerated - but technically true - statement that will be further explained on the inside of the mailer.

It's no different than cover story pull-quotes on magazines, like, say, Time, Newsweek, Cosmo, or the National Enquirer. It's not a summary judgment handed down by the Supreme Court, it's a verbal tease to make you read the whole thing.

It's disingenuous to say that the RNC is implying that the Bible will be banned based on that image. You might as well say that they imply that Arkansas is going to pass a law allowing men to hold hands, because that's the literal interpretation of the other picture.

The picture on the right is a SYMBOL representing legalized gay marriage. The picture on the left is a SYMBOL representing the removal of the words "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance. Both of these SYMBOLS are explained on the back of the mailer. There's no possiblity of confusion here that isn't willful. You might as well claim that Zell Miller meant his "spitball" metaphor literally, too.

By the way, here are some things NOT to compare this to:

1) A Bush=Hitler sign at a protest, which does not include notes explaining the specific similarities

2) Forged memos broadcast by CBS which were presented as being literally true.

3) Bullshit e-mails that claim Bush is going to re-instate the draft, when they offer no evidence to support their claims and omit the fact that the ONLY existing bill to re-instate the draft is sponsored SOLELY by Democrats

The RNC has NOTHING to apologize for with this mailer, and I, for one, am NOT going to run for cover on this issue. The "outraged" leftists can shove it as far as I'm concerned. Especially those f***s at NPR who, last Friday, compared this targeted mailing of a bit of flashy advertising to Dan Rather's deliberate attempt to pass off forged documents as verbatim truth on national television.

I'm more than a little disappoointed in the Conservatives who are going weak-kneed on this subject. People who I THOUGHT had spines of steel are caving to leftist PC thuggery for reasons I cannot begin to fathom.

Oh, and for the record, I'm agnostic on both the gay marriage and "under God" issues. I'm defending this because I simply don't see the need to apologize for a successful direct mail campaign.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:23 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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AND THE WINNER IS

Polling for the new blogchild is closed, and the winner is:

(see extended entry) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 09:12 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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VIEWING PROBLEMS?

NOTE: This post will stay at the top of the page until Sunday. Fresh content will continue to appear below from time to time, so scroll down to check.

If you're having trouble viewing this site, it's probably because of that poll on the right side.

Temporary solution: Look on the left sidebar where it says "change views" and click on the "View 800x600" button.

This puts both sidebars on the left side and should (I hope) solve the problem.

Other solutions include not using IE as your browser.

Final solution - highlight the text of the post, copy, and paste into a text editor. It should capture everything.

Any other helpful suggestions? That's what the comments are for. Speak up.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:10 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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September 25, 2004

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If I gave you flowers as often as I thought of you, the world would be covered in roses.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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MAYBE YOU SHOULD RE-CHECK THAT MEMO

Potential blogson Jeff of Au Fait has posted evidence that I don't actually exist. Amongst the incriminating factors is a picture comparing my monied visage to that of the Olsen twins, followed by a claim that there's no family resemblance.

Bah. The man is blind

The dark, sunken eyes, stringy hair, and gaunt, starved cheek-bones... I think the resemblance is quite striking.

But feel free to check it out for yourselves.

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JUST PUT HIM OVER THERE NEXT TO THE UNICORN

Via the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, I discovered something that I thought only existed in legend:

A sane Muslim.

"Islam is in need of true reform. Islam's need [for reform] – or, to be precise, our need for Islam's reform – is not less than the need for reform in the Arab political regimes… This is the need for people who are capable of fearlessly acknowledging that terrorism nests within us as Muslims and that we must exorcise it… Unfortunately, the meaning of delay is more death… The reform will take a long time and the price will be high, but it is the only path to our return to history as Muslims and not as terrorists…"

Maybe there's hope for the Middle East after all.

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GOOD ART *AND* CLASS

On September 11th, I posted a picture that I downloaded from the Quent Cordair Fine Art Gallery page. I was a little apprehensive about doing so, since I had a slight fear in the back of my mind that the gallery would contact me and ask me to remove it, being their copyrighted work and all.

So it was with some trepidation that I opened an e-mail that I got from Linda, who works for the Gallery.

Turns out I needn't have worried. It was a very nice letter thanking me for giving them exposure. She was even kind enough to compliment my blog.

Such a sweet talker :-)

With that in mind, I'll say a few more words about the Quent Cordair gallery.

I'm not a big fan of art... ok, that's not true. I'm not a fan of modern art. Having seen the work of the Renaissance masters, I have a certain expectation of quality that must be met before I'll call something "art", and little-to-nothing produced in the last 200 years or so seemed to qualify.

Until I found Quent Cordair's gallery.

Here you will see images that celebrate the triumph, glory, and beauty of the human form and spirit. Celebrations of light and life, hope and joy. Realistic and idealistic sculptures, portraits and paintings that will please your eye and lift your soul.

If you're feeling down and clutched by despair, a little browsing here will restore your sanity and happiness.

Step into the sunshine, and enjoy.

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TESTOSTERONE CHECK

Recently an old high school buddy of mine sent me this pic of a Hummer stretch limo:

(click to enlarge)

Funny thing is, I actually saw one of these when I was in Vegas a couple years ago. I was walking down the Strip with Beloved Wife, and paused to stare as this baby cruised past.

Coincidentally, another guy walking with HIS girl did exactly the same thing. We both expressed admiration for the awe-inspiring sight, while the women simply didn't understand the attraction. We agreed that it was probably a guy thing.

But come on... a stretch Hummer? Damn, ladies, how could you NOT be impressed?

I'm gonna get me one just to drive hippies crazy.

Or drive over them. Whichever.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:14 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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CAN YOU MAKE IT LOOK *MORE* LIKE A JELLY BEAN?

Blogdaughter Machelle of Quality Weenie has a picture of the new 2006 Impala.

*sigh*

I hate the CAFE standards. For the sake of gas mileage, EVERY car on the market looks boring, round, & bubbly.

It's all about aerodynamics nowadays, and these designs make me want to cry.

I miss chrome trim. I miss square headlights. I miss body-styling that included angles & corners & edges & sharp lines. If I wanted smooth, undifferentiated curves, I'd look at a tennis ball or a bowl full of marbles.

Doesn't anybody make gaudy, tasteless, impractical cars anymore?

Posted by: Harvey at 10:09 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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September 24, 2004

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Never before have I awoken with a feeling like this. A feeling that lifts me up from out of the darkness and leads me into light. Never before have I believed in angels on Earth, or that a simple fairytale would become my very life. Never before have I trusted someone with my mind and my heart, or fallen asleep only so I could see another enchanting day with someone. Never before have I been so in love or so happy.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Friday Linky Stuff

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's Spam

New Filthy Lie Assignment: Write one or more limericks about Evil Glenn.

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GLENN'S SPAM

(A FILTHY LIE)

Why does the Alliance have microphones & cameras all over Evil Glenn's dark castle? So that when stuff like this happens, you can read the transcript:


[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]

Evil Glenn [opening door]: Yes?

Jimmy: Good afternoon, Mr. Reynolds, I'm Jimmy Jackboot from the FCC and I have a warrant for your arrest.

Evil Glenn: Not again. Look, I already told you people, that penguin was over 18, and it was consensual, so if you'll excuse me...

Jimmy: Huh? What are you talking about?

Evil Glenn: You're NOT from the zoo?

Jimmy: No, I said I was from the FCC. We have reason to believe you've been sending out mass-mailings of unsolicited commercial e-mail. I need you to come with me and answer a few questions.

Evil Glenn: She WAS 18, you know.

Jimmy: I know, I saw the disclaimer on the videotape. But that's REALLY not why I'm here. It's about that spam you've been sending.

Evil Glenn [waves fingers in front of Jimmy's face]: This isn't the spammer you're looking for.

Jimmy: Mr. Reynolds, your Jedi mind-control tricks have no effect on government employees.

Evil Glenn: DAMN! I forgot about the "minimum IQ" threshhold. Geez, I might just as well try to influence a brick wall or a Massachusetts Senator.

Jimmy: By all means, Mr. Reynolds, please continue resisting. It's been a while since I had the pleasure of beating the crap out of a contrary American subject.

Evil Glenn: Citizen.

Jimmy: Right. Citizen. I forgot that Kerry hasn't been elected and declared himself Emperor yet. Just wait 'till February! [shakes fist menacingly] Meanwhile, come with me. You have some explaining to do to the FBI.

Evil Glenn: I thought you said you were from the FCC?

Jimmy: I... uh.... well... you know how it is... 3 letter acronym... all those confusing letters... um... you shut up & stop resisting!

Evil Glenn: Wait... I know YOU! You're Dan Rather! You're just trying to get back at me for helping to expose your forged memos!

Dan: Crap!... I mean... uh... I don't know what you're talking about! I'm Johnny Jackstraw from the FTC! You're under arrest! You WILL respect my au-thor-i-tie!

Evil Glenn: I'm not going anywhere with you! Get lost you cheap, snivelling, Democratic Party lickspittle!

Dan: Reporter.

Evil Glenn: Look, if you're not gone in 10 seconds, I'll have my pajama-clad blogger-minions chew you up like pirahnas eating a cow.

Dan: NO! NOT THE BLOGGERS! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! [runs back to CBS news van covered with anti-Bush bumper stickers and leaves 200-yard skid-marks accelerating out of the driveway]

Evil Glenn [going back inside to his computer]: Now... where was I?... ah, yes...

*************************

To: [All Bloggers in the Ecosystem]
Subject: U HAVE 2 C THIS!!!!!

Clik hear 4 the hotest pengwen-poking-Pr0n on the weBB!

*************************



INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

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September 23, 2004

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

"If ever there was a man who felt he had found the secret to perfecting his life it is I... I have found it in you. You have unfolded like a beautiful butterfly, becoming more than I ever imagined... you are forever adding balance to my life and clearing my vision."

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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DOOM 3... SORTA

Blogging may be light for a while. I finally got everything together on the new system, and I'll be playing Doom 3.

The good news: I found a mod that lets me attach the flashlight to my weapons, so I don't have to choose between seeing and living.

The bad news: at random intervals, the game will completely freeze, necessitating a re-boot. I can usually get about 10-15 minutes in, so I can live with this until I can solve the problem. After some quick Googling, my current theory is that I need more on-board RAM.

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CARNIVAL OF THE PAJAMAS #1 (UPDATED 9-23-04 11:15PM)

Two things to notice about that title:

First, the name - which came from a suggestion by Sissy of Sisu.

Second, the "#1" - I have no idea how long the pajama meme is going to last before everyone gets sick of it, but while it lasts, it's a good excuse for people to post pictures of scantily clad women, so it can hardly be considered a BAD thing. And for those who posted ACTUAL pictures of themselves - even if it's in their not-sexiest get-ups - well, it lets your readers get to know you a little better as a person.

And THAT'S a good thing, too.

By which I mean I'm going to be hosting a second Carnival of the Pajamas next week. Thursdays aren't always good for me, so the next deadline will be noon on Saturday, October 2nd, and I'll be posting it sometime that afternoon.

Meanwhile, on with the show:

Michele of Letters From New York City shows us costumes that fit her various moods: frisky, digital brown shirt, and M-I-C-K-E-YOWZA!

Susie of Practical Penumbra says nuthin' but nightie. Hmmm... I think she misspelled "naughty".

Tammi of Road Warrior Survival shows off her camisole & boxers combo. I'd do 15 rounds with her any time.

Brian of Musings from Brian J. Noggle taught Matt Drudge everything he knows about fashion. It's all about the headgear, baby.

Teresa of Technicalities prefers a casual, comfy, relaxed look. Although she claims that she looks nothing like that picture, I recognize that wicked, crafty smirk from every word she types.

Kat of The Middle Ground comes in three varities: pre-coffee (I think she forgot her panties on this one), a little too much coffee, and before-coffee-was-invented Funicello-retro.

Sissy of Sisu plays it two ways: first, she starts off with her charmeuse (whatever the hell that is), then she slips into this eye-popping little number so she can go all night long... with her blogging.

J&C of Enviropundit shows us pretty much every outfit she owns, in addition to the one she blogs in.

Sally of Whimsy Capricious apparently dropped her webcam before she snapped her blogging attire picture. I wonder if those are silk...

Machelle of Quality Weenie shows off two of her specialized uniforms: the extra-naughty comment-party outfit, and a set of Dan Rather sniper-jammies.

Margi of margilowry.com does her blogging in a T-shirt that - let's face it - we all either have, want, or at least quote on occasion.

Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice shows us a couple costumes that she wears when she's getting ready to kick someone's ass on her blog.

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks... well, I'll let the picture do the speaking:

vw jammies.jpg
And no matter how tempted you are to try your cheesy pick-up lines on this hot little number, don't even bother, 'cuz she'll cut you down to size quicker than Lorena Bobbitt.

And finally, this is what *I* wear when I'm posting Graffiti Currency (and yes, those are MY furry size 12's poking out the bottom):
(click to enlarge)

That concludes this week's round-up. A big thanks to everyone who indulged this silly whim.

Now go check your closets and see what you can dig up for episode 2.

UPDATE 9-23-04 11:15 pm - Dana of Eat the Lettuce goes for the casual look. And if I had that baby's view, I'd have the same smile on my face.

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LAST CALL FOR THE FASHION SHOW

Just a reminder:

Post a picture of yourself (or a professional model whose picture you copied off some web page - like I'd know the difference anyway) in your favorite blogging attire. Leave a permalink in the comments to this post, send a trackback, or e-mail the link directly to me at harvolson@charter.net.

If you have trouble hosting images, you can send me the picture, and I'll post it for you, along with your description.

If you don't have a blog, but you're feeling particularly creative, same as above.

Entries due by 9pm CDT Thursday, September 23rd, and I'll post the round-up Thursday night.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:35 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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September 22, 2004

THE REAL REASONS WE'RE IN IRAQ

Gerard of American Digest has the most insightful non-Den Bestian essay I've ever seen on the reasons for invading Iraq. Forget all the fun-sounding election-year pablum, these are the dry, gritty, militarily-sound reasons that club you upside the head with their unarguable pragmatism.

There's really no single money-quote to give you, so I'll just take the bullet points in an attempt to make you curious enough to click over and face the facts:

1) The conquest of Iraq could be easily achieved.
2) Iraq is the "high ground" of the middle-east.
3) Control of Iraq completes the encirclement of Iran.
4) Control of Iraq permits protection and control the Saudi oil fields without being "in" Saudi Arabia.
5) Control of Iraq is not about the oil, it's about the water.

These are explained in detail at the link.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:47 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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JINGLE FOR THE EMPEROR

The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler is one of my favorite blogs. It's been on my blogroll since I was just a Blogspotling.

Recently, Emperor Darth Misha I has run into a spot of financial trouble and has asked for assistance.

I'm not a rich man, but I figure that just because I can't do everything doesn't mean I shouldn't do something, especiallly since he's been very good to me over my blogging career.

The question I ask myself is this: If I were to meet Misha in person, would I buy him a beer?

The answer being a resounding "yes", I go now to do such a thing, in a virtual sort of way.

You may, if you're so inclined, buy the next round.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:36 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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