July 31, 2004
STUFF THIS IN YOUR BONFIRE & SMOKE IT
All set to blog, and then Beloved Wife pointed out that we only had 4 episodes of Deep Space 9 left and we were done with season 3.
There went my blogging time.
By the way, we're debating on whether to get season 4, or just give up on the series. It's been really hit or miss with the first 3 seasons. Mostly miss. Any thoughts on seasons 4-7?
Posted by: Harvey at
11:57 PM
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1
Actually, in my opinion, DS9 seasons #4-7 are much better than the first 3...more action, more drama, new characters, new stories...the bulk of #4-7's dedicated to the Dominion War storyline...6-7's the war, 4-5's the build up, starting with "Way of the Warrior" which introduces Worf as a regular cast member on DS9, to "A Call to Arms" at the end of 5 where Sisko and the gang must flee from DS9 as the Dominion invades the Alpha Quadrant...go ahead and get season 4, it's much better than the last 3.
Posted by: Earl at August 01, 2004 12:17 AM (PcgQk)
2
I've got 'em all and I agree Earl, they get better toward the end.
Posted by: Sam at August 01, 2004 09:21 AM (FPQSp)
3
IMO, Babylon 5 was by far the best space-based sciFi show. ever.
Posted by: _Jon at August 01, 2004 10:45 AM (RZ4Hy)
4
I don't think anyone asked about Babylon 5... or did I miss something... besides, you're wrong anyway... Star Trek-TOS and Farscape were the best...
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at August 01, 2004 12:46 PM (uvu7I)
5
I don't know which season it was in, but one of the best episodTes comes much later in the series. It's "Trials and Tribble-ations." It's a time travel episode to Star Trek TOS "Trouble with Tribbles"
Wonderfully done. And absolutely hilarious. Almost worth the cost of an entire season's DVD in my oppinion.
Posted by: GEBIV at August 01, 2004 01:29 PM (/xqbY)
6
lol, yeha, GEBIV's right...it's one of the best episodes. Personally, I always loved "In the Pale Moonlight" where Sisko literally sells his soul to the devil in exchange for getting the Romulans into the Dominion War on the Federation's side. He lies, betrays, etc...the end of the episode is powerful, for what Sisko has to say about the whole thing.
Posted by: Earl at August 01, 2004 04:37 PM (b/7hi)
Posted by: _Jon at August 01, 2004 05:09 PM (RZ4Hy)
8
You're all assess.
Firefly = best ever.
Babylon 5 = #2
But that's not the point. The point is whether the Mrs. & I drop the dough on the next 4 seasons or quit with what we've had. Sounds like the general feeling is to give Season 4 a shake & call it quits if it sucks.
Posted by: Harvey at August 01, 2004 06:22 PM (ubhj8)
9
for me, it's Babylon 5, then DS9...DS9 was good, but nothing can really beat JMS's writing and the grand epic scale of the overall plot on B5...although I do have to check out Firefly.
Posted by: Earl at August 01, 2004 06:58 PM (My8fB)
10
You HAVEN'T seen Firefly???
Go. NOW. Amazon, eBay, Barnes & Noble, borrow it from a friend, steal it from the neighbors... whatever it takes.
Read the reviews
Posted by: Harvey at August 01, 2004 11:06 PM (ubhj8)
11
I think I live under a damn rock. I've never seen any of these... barely heard of them actually.
Posted by: Boudicca at August 02, 2004 01:40 PM (JG8ip)
12
Bou - Firefly I think I can safely recommend to you as being worth buying the DVD set. If for no other reason than the captain of the ship isn't some touchy-feely dork who consults & dithers & agonizes over his choices. He decides, he executes, and he won't listen to people telling him why his plan won't work. The only feedback he takes is ideas on how to accomplish what he's decided needs to be done. The reward for putting up with his dictatorial captaincy is that his crew receives, in return, an almost obsessive degree of loyalty.
It's a beautiful thing to behold.
Posted by: Harvey at August 02, 2004 06:22 PM (ubhj8)
13
I'm with
Earl -- season 4 is when it started getting good. Of course, there was a fair bit of crap mixed in at times, but when it was good, it was
awesome. The DS9 final arc (the last about 8 episodes) are some of the best Trek ever done.
Posted by: J at August 05, 2004 02:29 PM (BHFCz)
14
This will contain pollutants including carbon monoxide, dioxins and particles. Burning plastic, rubber or painted materials not only creates an unpleasant smell but also produces a range of poisonous compounds. Your bonfire will also add to the general background level of air pollution.
Posted by: gift baskets at November 24, 2004 12:30 AM (pRGCj)
Posted by: Harvey at November 24, 2004 05:54 PM (ubhj8)
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July 30, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I can be with you always, whether you're near or far,
For I have roads inside me that take me where you are.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
Speaking of "inside me", could you please NOT do that finger-thing you read about in Cosmo?
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 10:47 PM (ubhj8)
2
Huh. Grau mentions something like that in his Retrosexual Code and speaks of the direct result being launching her off the bed.
Posted by: Boudicca at July 31, 2004 09:14 AM (b/g6r)
3
"All roads lead to moan."
Something like that.
Posted by: _Jon at July 31, 2004 09:18 AM (RZ4Hy)
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 31, 2004 05:56 PM (uvu7I)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[(picture of eagle) WHERESGEORGE.COM]
After being rebuffed by their first choice of Kentucky Fried Chicken, Alfred Hitchcock Productions settled for teaming up with the popular currency-tracking website to promote the re-release of their 1963 hit movie.
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EVIL GLENN'S SIDEKICK
(
A FILTHY LIE)
Charming Alliance HQ Hostess Susie came home from another miserable 13 hour shift at the Dollar Theater ("Now With 19th Century Technology!") drained and exhausted. After pouring herself a shot of "Scantily Clad Fireman" brand whiskey ("Starting the Fire in Your Belly since 1898"), she snapped off her bra and checked her e-mail.
Susie: Let's see... 293 comment spams, 78 offers for Viagra, 57 propositions from Nigerians, 39 new applicants for the Alliance... [click, click, click...]... all of which are missing either a fake Glenn Reynolds quote or a link to HQ... Screw this! I'm going to my Happy Place.
... Susie got up and went to her special room wherein was located the one thing that gave her solace in times of trouble - her Barbie collection. Since she was a little girl, she'd always adored her Barbies, and sought to acquire one of everything. Yet one item had always eluded her, and she gazed sadly at the empty space on her shelf where she hoped that item would someday go.
Susie: Barbie's Dream House... if only I could get one, I just know it would make my life complete. I would give ANYTHING to own Barbie's Dream House!
... The room darkened ominously, as a cloud of black, sulfurous smoke formed in the middle of the Barbie room. An imposing figure dressed in red became visible as the smoke began to dissipate.
Susie: Oh no! I've summoned Satan! He's going to offer me Barbie's Dream House in exchange for my soul! Which wouldn't be so bad if I weren't currently braless and... quite perky.
... The smoke cleared, and the man in red let out an evil laugh...
Man in Red: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Susie:... Santa???...
Santa: You were expecting someone else?
Susie: Satan, actually.
Santa: Ya know, ever since John made that typo in the Book of Revelations, people have been getting us confused. Let me set you straight - *I* give you goodies in exchange for your soul, Satan makes bad things happen to good people.
Susie: So Satan hired my Assistant Manager?
Santa: Exactly.
Susie: How did you know I was ready to trade my soul? Is that part of the whole "sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good" schtick?
Santa: Sorry, lady, you've got me confused with John Ashcroft. No, Glenn Reynolds saw on your blog that you wanted Barbie's Dream House, so he sent me to make a deal.
Susie: You're Evil Glenn's sidekick???
Santa: The title is "executive assistant".
Susie: Er... yeah... whatever... anyway, I'm kinda confused. Let me see if I got this straight... YOU, and NOT Satan, trade worldy wealth for souls?
Santa: Right. I've got tons of crap just laying around at the Workshop, plus a delivery system so fast it makes FedEx look like George Lucas working on a Star Wars sequel. So I can get souls any time, any place.
Susie: But what do you do with the souls?
Santa: They power my army of robotic toy-making elves.
Susie: I thought you used REAL elves to make toys?
Santa: NOW you're just being silly. Everyone knows the only things Elves are good for is holding endless, indecisive council meetings on what to do about demonic jewelry.
Susie: Sorta like the French?
Santa: Sorta... except the French usually send in Americans to do their dirty work instead of conning naive Hobbits.
Susie: So if you're so good at trading stuff for souls, why did you need to throw in with Evil Glenn?
Santa: Let's just say that Glenn's not the ONLY one with a penguin fetish.
Susie: EWWW! I see... Wait!... Aren't penguins native to the SOUTH pole?
Santa: Now you know why I need Glenn's help. He's got some REALLY good connections at the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station.
Susie: But I still don't understand why you'd work with Glenn. He's EVIL! He murders hobos!
Santa: Hobos don't have chimneys. What the hell do *I* care?
Susie: What about the blended puppies?
Santa: Again - don't care. I hate puppies! Every year I give out millions of the little bastards. Nasty, yipping little things, always piddling in my sack of presents. Good riddance, *I* say.
Susie: And the Robot Dancing?
Santa: Nothing wrong with a man dancing. Hell, I invented "The Twist"
Susie: That was Chubby Checker.
Santa: *I* was Chubby Checker.
Susie: That's ridiculous. Chubby Checker was black.
Santa: Well, you know how Michael Jackson...
Susie: Ok, you can stop there. Anyway, what's this "deal" Glenn wanted you to make?
Santa: In exchange for the Barbie Dream House, you agree to stop hosting the Alliance HQ page. Without you doing all the heavy lifting, the Alliance will fall apart in a matter of days, and Glenn will once again be free to rule the blogosphere with his velvet-handed tyrannical peacefulness.
Susie: Wait... don't you want my soul, too?
Santa: That? Pfffft! I've had that for decades!
Susie: What?
Santa: Remember this? [whips out digital palm-corder and replays a scene from Susie's childhood]... "I'd give anything for a Malibu Barbie! ANYTHING!"
Susie: Oh... yeah... that.
Santa: I got the Dream House right here... [extracts it from bag]... whaddya say?
Susie: Well, I guess I say... DIE, YOU JOLLY BASTARD!
... with ninja-like speed, Susie swept her bra off the floor and wrapped it tightly around Santa's neck, not letting up the pressure on his chubby throat until he collapsed to the floor in a white-fur-trimmed heap.
Susie [placing Dream House triumphantly onto her shelf]: Now, what to do with the gift-giving prick minion of the puppy blender... AH! I know!
EPILOGUE (one week later):
Good Evening. I'm Dan Rather and this is the CBS evening news. Our top story tonight: Saddam Hussein goes f****** nuts:
Saddam: But I keep telling you, I'm NOT Saddam! I'm Santa Claus! That bitch Susie stole my Barbie Dream house and switched me with the REAL Saddam! I'm Santa Claus! Get me Glenn Reynolds on the phone! That son of a bitch! This is all HIS fault! If I ever get outta here, I'm joining the f****** Alliance! INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
Hilarious! But does this mean
Saddam's our new Santa Claus? I now reallly don't want to see what's under my X-mas tree on Christmas Day...
Posted by: Earl at July 30, 2004 09:58 PM (AaBEz)
2
That is GREAT! I liked "Sorry, lady, you've got me confused with John Ashcroft." heh heh heh
Posted by: Boudicca at July 30, 2004 10:18 PM (wD7jC)
3
Fantastic! But... I'm skeered... where's Saddam?
Posted by: Dana at July 30, 2004 10:26 PM (vgtCY)
4
ROFL!!!! I guess that's another reason to take my bra off when I get home from work...
Posted by: Susie at July 30, 2004 11:40 PM (11RPa)
5
Life: First, there
is a Santa, and he'll give you presents if you are a good little guy.
Next, there is no such thing as Santa. (sniffle) We lied to you, but wasn't it fun?! (sob)
Finally, Santa does exist, and he's a total asshole! (serious bawling) I'm. So. Confused.
I can't tell if I'm laughing or crying!
Posted by: That 1 Guy at July 31, 2004 12:23 AM (3CoHh)
6
That was great! I love Saturdays!
Posted by: Sally at July 31, 2004 08:54 AM (a1D32)
7
Utter brilliance! You've captured Susie and Santa like no man before!
Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 31, 2004 07:32 PM (s2DIG)
8
Could you repeat that? I was having difficult removing my space helmet.
Posted by: Zongo the Ruthless at August 03, 2004 04:18 PM (JCxVY)
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July 29, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
A Valentine is just a paper heart
Two curving lines connected, colored red.
And objects of great beauty, skill or art
Will not express the things that might be said.
And fancy rhyming words could never start
To quote the feelings blooming in my head.
And yet on special holidays like this,
I find that I resort to these and such.
But every glance and gaze, caress and kiss
Will surely show I love you very much.
With ecstasy beyond analysis,
Our lips and hearts and minds and spirits touch.
Because of love, my heart was first created,
And through your love, it's been regenerated.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
But your period's here, love is refrigerated
So I just went and masturbated.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 10:49 PM (ubhj8)
2
Spank that monkey.... MonkeyBoy!!!
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 12:33 PM (uvu7I)
3
LOL! We call it "Blow-job Week" in our house. Well, we CALL it that anyway...
Posted by: Sally at July 30, 2004 01:08 PM (a1D32)
4
heheh...i for one think it'd be fun to see Kerry try to deliver this speech to Teresa...there'd be enough sweat pouring off Kerry to flood an entire city!
Posted by: Earl at July 30, 2004 03:38 PM (b/7hi)
5
EVERY week is "Spanking & Oral Sex Week" at House Example ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:24 PM (ubhj8)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[Doritos]
At least Dan Quayle spelled this one right.
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IN THE ZONE
Blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City has recovered sufficiently from her latest bout of carpal tunnel to post an entry in the form of an open letter to me.
After the pleasantries (which make me blush), the bulk of it is an analysis of the protestors at the Democratic convention - who they are and what they're trying to do:
These protestors don't wish to engage in a discussion, they don't wish to educate the public by putting out position papers or informational flyers. Instead, they're main goal is to show 'what a fascist society we live in, as a result of our Homeland Security policies and the Patriot Act'. How do they do that? By provoking the police through various subtle but systematic means.
She's got a good point.
I'm not entirely comfortable with the notion of "Free Speech Zones", because, in principle, it opens the door to acceptance of the idea of "Non-Free Speech Zones", which entails a vague threat of having such zones, once legitimized, expanding to cover vast swaths of the nation.
However, as Michele points out, what the protestors are seeking in Boston isn't so much "free speech" as it is the "right" to forcibly interfere with other peoples' rights to go about their daily business unimpeded. The concept of "disturbing the peace" probably applies here.
It isn't discussion the protestors are after, it's intimidation and harrassment, which, like blackmail, death threats, "fighting words" and "yelling "FIRE!" in a crowded theater", aren't protected speech. Since it's pretty obvious that this is what's going on, I don't have that much of a problem with the police temporarily containing the trouble-makers in a single area where they can be more easily watched while the convention is ongoing.
Still, I'm aware that other perspectives on the issue are possible, so feel free to present them in the comments, if you're so inclined.
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1
They act like were thrown in prison or a concentration camp or something... they could have just as easily shut the fuck up and went home... no-one was keeping them from doing that... fucking butt-nuggets!
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 12:35 PM (uvu7I)
2
No! No! No!
They were being repressed.
Come see the violence inherant in the system!
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:13 PM (ubhj8)
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MY SWOLLEN, BLOATED, UNCONTROLLABLE EGO
... is now the size of Ted Kennedy's gin-blossomed head, i.e. e-freakin-normous.
Why? Because I discovered that Earl of Brave New World has been reading me for almost a year, and my ever-delightful writings have inspired him to start a blog of his own.
Best of all, in a post explaining who his blog idols are, I got top billing over Frank J! Probably because I actually left him a comment instead of ignoring him.
But since nobody but me cares about that, I'll direct your attention elsewhere on his blog. Specifically this post where he runs the numbers on how many military endorsements Kerry got vs. the number Bush got (hint: think Cubs vs. Yankees on this score).
Other than that, Earl's still wet behind the ears blogwise, but probably worth watching. Now if only we could break him of the habit of blogging about what he's going to blog about instead of just blogging about it in the first place.
Definitely too much Frank J. in that boy's blood :-/
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1
sounds like he'd be a good candidate for the showcase...
Posted by: Simon at July 29, 2004 10:14 PM (OyeEA)
2
Aww, thanks! Thank you for the kind words! I know I need to improve a lot with this blog. I'll definitely break that bad habit. I guess I got caught up today with Kerry and the DNC and decided to postpone blogging more about the other stuff...but thanks again!
Posted by: Earl at July 29, 2004 10:31 PM (FeL3u)
3
You have more blog children than anyone I know. You've been a very busy, busy boy, haven't you!? Hey... are you Catholic? Mormon?
*This politically incorrect post brought to you by..*
Posted by: Dana at July 30, 2004 10:11 AM (vgtCY)
4
Add another monkey-boy to the fucking zoo...
Nearly forgot... Phuck Phrnak!
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 12:37 PM (uvu7I)
5
You're above Frank J at my place too! *winces at mental image*
Posted by: Sally at July 30, 2004 01:10 PM (a1D32)
6
Hey, he's not my natural born blogson. I never gave him permission to start blogging :-/
Adoption is possible depending on whether he can complete all 12 steps of the "I'll blog about it later" Anonymous program. We'll just have to wait & see. :-P
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:01 PM (ubhj8)
7
Dana - not Catholic, just careless ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:11 PM (ubhj8)
8
And what's your version of the 12 step program for me?
Posted by: Earl at July 30, 2004 06:14 PM (My8fB)
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ISN'T THAT *CUTE*?
I don't usually give a damn about cute kid blogging (one step above cat-blogging, ya know), but Blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious has a
real daughter who honestly does
say the darndest things, like:
1. I love you Daddy. You're all shiny!
2. He's in my Playschool. He's got a yucky face, a lumpy nose and three googly eyes.
#4 is my favorite. You'll figure out why after you read it, I'm sure.
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09:19 PM
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1
LOL! I agree with you on #4! The caller must've thought Sally was drinking in the kitchen!
Posted by: Earl at July 29, 2004 10:50 PM (FeL3u)
2
For a minute there, I thought she was talking about Harvey (#2)....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 10:11 AM (uvu7I)
3
And quit showing little girls yor other googly eye you sick fucker....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 12:38 PM (uvu7I)
4
ROFLMAO! I wouldn't mind, but I wasn't even WEARING my "Fifth Element" bandage/bondage dress at the time! Tsk...I save that for blogging and Friday nights!
Posted by: Sally at July 30, 2004 01:26 PM (a1D32)
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:14 PM (ubhj8)
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[WHISTLES INNOCENTLY]
LeeAnn of
The Cheese Stands Alone is going on vacation.
She's also leaving her comments enabled.
I think you know the drill by now. Mheh.
Of course, ostensibly, I'm sending you over to examine a post wherein she contemplates words that start with "blog", like:
Blogiverse.
Blogworld.
Blogcation.
Blogaholic.
Blogpanties.
So go check that out.
What you do once you get there is entirely out of my control...
Posted by: Harvey at
09:17 PM
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BABY POOL WINNERS!
J of Quibbles & Bits announced the
winners of the baby pool for the people who guessed on the vital stats of his new daughter, Lily.
I got nuthin'
America's #1 pin-up girl, Dana of Note-It Posts and Eat The Lettuce, got the big prize.
Blogdaughters Sally of Whimsy Capricious and Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice, along with apparently blogless reader Sandee won the consolation prize.
Hmmmm... nothing but girl winners. I think the fix was in.
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09:15 PM
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1
Heh. Imagine that. I got it right on length... heh heh heh
Posted by: Boudicca at July 30, 2004 06:53 AM (wD7jC)
2
Somehow, you naughty girl, I'm not surprised that you're a "length" expert ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:07 PM (ubhj8)
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MAYBE IT WASN'T TOO EXPENSIVE AFTER ALL
Via Blogdaughter
Boudicca, I discovered
one of the eye-candiest sites I've ever seen. After several long, agonizing minutes of downloading, the music began to play, and I witnessed images of interstellar visions that the naked human eye has never witnessed.
A slideshow of images from the Hubble Space Telescope, set against a background of proud, glorifying, soul-stirring music. As I watched the pictures appear before me, a single thought filled me.
I
Want
To
Go.
It's a long load, but the rewards are immeasurable. I invite you to look in awe and wonder at the universe as you've never seen it.
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
Well that makes you feel small!!!
Posted by: Rob at July 30, 2004 06:35 AM (kXZI6)
2
OK, you have me nervous. You're on cable. Why did it take long for it to load>? It was zippety quick for me!
Posted by: Boudicca at July 30, 2004 06:54 AM (wD7jC)
3
Harvey feels small every time he reaches into his pants....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 30, 2004 10:12 AM (uvu7I)
4
Great stuff, Harvey. Thanks.
Posted by: physics geek at July 30, 2004 11:07 AM (Xvrs7)
5
Bou - I don't know why it took so long. I had time to go surfing elsewhere while the "percent loaded" thingy just crawled up to 100. I might've just gotten a random bad connection.
MB - Yeah, it's small, but Beloved Wife is positively tiny, so that makes me huge in a relative sense :-P
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 06:06 PM (ubhj8)
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July 28, 2004
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Because you'll always be,
The dearest and the sweetest one,
In all the world to me.
Because I'll always love you,
More than you could ever guess,
Because you are my everything,
My world, my happiness.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
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1
And it doesn't hurt that your daddy's rich
my sweet sugarmama heiress.
Posted by: Harvey at July 28, 2004 10:21 PM (ubhj8)
2
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Because Love You I always will,
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Every void in my life you fill.
Let me call you Sweetheart,
A love so deep and so true,
Let me call you Sweetheart,
Being without you leaves me so blue.
Let me call you Sweetheart,
There is no one else for me,
Let me call you Sweetheart,
For together we shall always be!
heh
Posted by: _Jon at July 28, 2004 10:32 PM (RZ4Hy)
3
Dammit, _Jon, you're making me look bad, here :-P
Posted by: Harvey at July 28, 2004 11:10 PM (ubhj8)
4
Sorry dude, but that fake "extension" you wear under your spandex makes you look bad....
Posted by: _Jon at July 29, 2004 09:27 AM (ewFgD)
5
All
you need to look bad is a mirror....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 09:27 AM (uvu7I)
6
I don't have a fake extension, I just accidentally and inadvertantly stuffed a bunch of documents into my pants.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 06:36 PM (ubhj8)
7
'Fake' extension = oxymorom ????
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 06:56 PM (uvu7I)
8
Speaking of fake extensions, I recall one "Family Guy" episode in which Peter had Stewie the baby stuffed down in his pants...horrifying and hilarious, to say the least. Now I'm starting to wonder what else Sandy Berger took from the Archives....hell, I was starting to build up to a good joke about that but the idea just went down into Berger's pants. Oh, well.
Posted by: Earl at July 29, 2004 07:55 PM (b/7hi)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[Congratulations Gary! April 26, 1992 Elkhart Lake [Road] America]
Obviously it wasn't the prize money that made people want to race on the Road America track as it was the chance to be able to say, "I own the fastest tricycle in Wisconsin!"
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BUT HES A *WELL-SPOKEN* SOCIALIST, SO IT'S OK
I heard, but did not see, that Barack Obama gave a speech at the Democratic convention.
I also heard that a lot of people were impressed by his performance.
I'm not.
I read the full text of his remarks (link courtesy of Kevin of Wizbang), and, although it was a competently written speech from a "hold the audience's attention" perspective, filled with all kinds of rah-rah America clichès (and certainly done in better taste than Ted's "fear four more years" screed), I found plenty of lefty boilerplate in it.
I'm not going to fisk it. I'm just going to point out that, by putting most of his phrases in terms of what Kerry will do and what he stands for, he implies that those positives don't apply to Bush, because there is a "choice" to be made. Here are some implied criticisms of the Bush presidency:
Americans are held hostage to the profits of oil companies.
Bush will sacrifice our basic Constitutional liberties.
War was Bush's first option.
Bush fudged the numbers and shaded the truth about why we went to war.
Bush went to war without enough troops to win the war or secure the peace.
Bush has lost the respect of the world.
Bush represents the politics of cynicism.
Bush thinks that unemployment will go away if we just don't talk about it.
Bush thinks that the "health care crisis" will solve itself if we just ignore it.
Bush doesn't want to give relief to the middle class.
Bush doesn't want working families to have a road to opportunity.
Bush doesn't want the jobless to have jobs.
Bush doesn't want the homeless to have homes.
The Bush presidency is a long political darkness.
All this is annoying, but what makes me believe most firmly that Obama is a stupid turd is this:
"It's that fundamental belief - I am my brother's keeper, I am my sister's keeper - that makes this country work. It's what allows us to pursue our individual dreams..."
Nope.
What makes this country work is that your brother ISN'T your keeper. That you are not kept at all. That you are free to pursue your individual dreams WITHOUT your brother's approval or interference.
Don't get me wrong. I love my brother, and I'll be happy to help him if he asks politely and says thank you afterwards, but that's not "keeping". That's voluntary association, which is entirely different. It's also a concept that socialists like Obama grasp weakly, if at all.
How well W and his Republican friends "get it" is arguable, but unless the Libertarian Party gets its head out of its ass on matters of national defense & security, I'm voting "R" come November.
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Cannot.do.convention.stuff. It so pisses me off it's not even funny. My very low blood pressure spikes. GRRR. The lies and exaggerations.
Posted by: Boudicca at July 29, 2004 08:04 AM (2bvz8)
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Ah Obama - his trick is in the fact that he's an excellent "speaker". I've heard him, on the radio. Many people make the mistake of listening to how the speech is given, instead of the speech itself.
Posted by: Teresa at July 29, 2004 08:18 AM (nAfYo)
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"...unless the Libertarian Party gets its head out of its ass on matters of national defense & security"
It's because of that particular issue that many libertarians tried to prevent Boortz from speaking at their last convention. Apparently, he doesn't toe the party line on national defense.
Re: Obama- he's well spoken and delivers his message well. However, I pretty much tuned out when he made another f**king reference to the Florida election and "votes counted most of the time". Everything after that was like the buzzing of a gnat.
Posted by: physics geek at July 29, 2004 09:28 AM (Xvrs7)
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"It's that fundamental belief - I am my brother's keeper, I am my sister's keeper - that makes this country work. It's what allows us to pursue our individual dreams..."
Nope, I'm not either.
Posted by: BeeBee at July 29, 2004 11:06 AM (V1fcb)
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That is an excellent parsing of Obama's speech, for which there is a wicked awesome sploogefest across the fruited plains. Thanks for the public service.
Posted by: Paulie at The Commons at July 29, 2004 11:10 AM (UKKRp)
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For those of us isolated from modern technology for 12 hour stretches, your summary is very helpful! I saw a mention of Obama on another blog, and not knowing who or what that is, I wondered if it was a typo for Osama. Now I just need to find out why the 'crats let him talk at their convention...Google, here I come!
Posted by: Susie at July 29, 2004 11:41 AM (11RPa)
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Follow this link:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=11908_The_Obama_Truth_Squad
Posted by: _Jon at July 29, 2004 12:34 PM (ewFgD)
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Susie - Aw crap. I didn't want to say this, but I suppose I ought to. The reason the Democrats had someone who's never held national office as their keynote speaker is...
They had a diversity quota to fill.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 06:32 PM (ubhj8)
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I heard a joke on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart about the convention that I think y'all will probably like:
The clip of Hilary introducing former president Clinton.
Hilary: Introducing the last great democratic president!
CUT TO: Jon Stewart
JON: Oh my God, FDR is alive?!
Posted by: Joey at July 29, 2004 08:37 PM (AwvqJ)
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Heh. Joey made me laugh :-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 30, 2004 05:55 PM (ubhj8)
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JUST EAT SOMETHING, WILL YA?
Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice has
an open letter to the Olsen Twins suggesting that they might be better off if they ditched that whole concentration-camp-survivor-
way-too-bony look.
Partly I like this piece because it's refreshing to hear a woman say that a little padding on a girl is good, and natural, and attractive.
Mostly I like the part where she tries explaining this in terms of things that men never say:
"You know what I really like? I like when I'm on top, really going at it, I love when her hip bones bruise me."
"I love when I grab her ass, I get bone."
"I love that she has concave tits because she has no body fat."
"I love gazing down on her naked body and seeing rib cage."
"I love when I bend her into positions, she feels like she might snap."
"Damn, is there anything better than going at it with a woman and wondering if I might break her?"
I concur wholeheartedly. If it ain't cuddly-lookin', I ain't gonna cuddle with it.
Any guy who honestly prefers the skeletal look, please feel free to go on record in the comments.
"Amen to the curves" folks may chime in, too.
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Oh! I didn't expect this! Thank you, kind sir!
Men are very refeshingly honest in what they like about women. Sometimes graphically so! I remember one time sitting with men and off they went on this very graphic tangent and finally I said, "hullllooo???? I'm sitting right here! I can hear you! I am not deaf." Phew. And I really don't embarrass easily, but geezowheez.
Men are very cool.
Posted by: Boudicca at July 29, 2004 08:03 AM (2bvz8)
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Put it in one side and it comes out the other... hahahaha....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 09:29 AM (uvu7I)
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I think what MB is trying to say is that what goes in men's eyes comes out... a little lower.
Actually, it just gets stuck there and causes swelling.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 06:19 PM (ubhj8)
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No Harvey... it's a really old tasteless joke... you stick it in the front and it comes out the back... don't make get into the graphical description....
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 06:58 PM (uvu7I)
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Man, I've been saying this for years. Give me an overweight woman before a scrawny one anyday. And I'm not into fat, but please, show me some curves and hip bones.
Besides, these stick women are not the kind you can have dinner with. I've just cooked a real nice meal, we sit down and she eats a bite of everything and says, "Well, I'm full", while I'm still chewing my first bite. Or worse yet, she goes to the bathroom so that she can reverse gears before my dinner goes straight to her hips. What kind of dinner is that?
I shouldn't be able to look at a woman and the only curves I see are the ones where her joints stick out. Ewww.
Posted by: tbflowers at July 29, 2004 08:48 PM (KxbnH)
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Please check the pages in the field of- Tons of interesdting stuff!!!
Posted by: at March 31, 2005 02:36 PM (0kgcI)
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YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY, YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY, YOU'RE THE BIRTHDAY BOY OR GIRL
Looks like my blogless brother Tom isn't the
only one celebrating a birthday today. Blogdaughter Tammi of Road Warrior Survival
has it going on, too.
Of course, it's not exactly the same situation, since Tammi has *ahem* a couple things my brother doesn't.
Namely 1962 an 1963.
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Thanks! 42, yikes - but I think it's gonna be a pretty damn good year!!!
Posted by: Tammi at July 30, 2004 07:33 AM (mfDpJ)
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NEW STATE MOTTOS
Eric of
Unbent Honky Dude has a list of state mottos that are a little more accurate that what you'll see on a license plate. I'll give you a few samples, but you have to go there for
the whole list:
Alabama: Like the third world, but closer.
Arkansas: It's Trailer-rific!!!
Kentucky: Come for the Bluegrass -- Stay for the Incest!
New Jersey: Come for the beaches. Stay for the gambling, crack and hookers.
Oklahoma: We're like the Canada of TX!
South Carolina: The OTHER white state.
Puerto Rico: Ready to Screw Up 40 Years of Flag Symmetry
And may I propose for Wisconsin:
Please, God, don't let Favre retire this year!
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Favre's got two more good years left in him, I say. But whether that'll do a lick of good for the Pack....I'm projecting a Eagles-Pats super bowl.
Posted by: Earl at July 29, 2004 12:30 AM (FeL3u)
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Hope you're not betting the rent payment on that :-)
And I hope you're right about Favre and 2 more years. Although I don't see them doing more than getting knocked out of the playoffs (again) this year.
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 07:06 AM (ubhj8)
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Well, just damn. Florida had the longest list. Wonder why. My fave was, 'Where the 3 R's are for Rednecks, Retirees and Raft Arrivals ' That pretty much sums it up. I'm so outta here why my spouse retires. I'll be the only old person running NORTH!
Posted by: Boudicca at July 29, 2004 07:53 AM (2bvz8)
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Well, I bought a season ticket to the Detroit Lions this year with some friends.
And my brother put $50 down on the Lions to get to the Quarter Finals (at 17-1 odds).
I don't know which is the bigger gamble...
Posted by: _Jon at July 29, 2004 12:30 PM (ewFgD)
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Money... on the Lions
[smoke pours out of Harvey's ears as he attempts to comprehend]
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 06:00 PM (ubhj8)
Posted by: galleries-adult at October 25, 2004 03:35 PM (rOxqX)
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WHAT'S BETTER THAN STICK FIGURE CARTOONS?
A fighting stick figure animated gif, as presented by Physics Geek.
"How to handle office conflicts"
Most days at work, I'm the blue guy.
(about 120k, so it takes a few seconds to get rolling)
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didn't there use to be a funny site full of stick figure cartoons? stickdeath.com or something? gosh, how i so miss stick figure cartoons...
Posted by: Earl at July 29, 2004 12:27 AM (FeL3u)
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http://www.stickdeath.com/iscream.html
Sick and wrong. I liked it, though. People who work nights will like it even more.
And don't forget the best stick figure animation ever done:
http://www.stileproject.com/kungfu.html
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 07:04 AM (ubhj8)
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That was really really funny! And of course... it reminded me of a story. Gotta put it on my list for blogging tonight! (Yup! I'll be linking him. That is a riot.)
Posted by: Boudicca at July 29, 2004 07:58 AM (2bvz8)
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I'm the guy that makes the room collapse. Is that a bad thing?
Posted by: physics geek at July 29, 2004 09:30 AM (Xvrs7)
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That kungfu due was bad-ass... he reminded me of Jet Li... until he met the purple dude... way too cool!!!
Posted by: Mudfish Billie at July 29, 2004 09:36 AM (uvu7I)
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Darlin...it worked much better as a partisan bickering piece
http://www.sondrak.com/archive/001350.html
But you haven't been by to peek up my skirt lately...apparently.
Posted by: SondraK at July 29, 2004 04:05 PM (5lEo1)
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Sondra - sorry doll, it's been hell at work, and I haven't had much chance for freelance surfing :-/
On the bright side, thanks for the mental image ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at July 29, 2004 06:04 PM (ubhj8)
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