(Introduction)

The reason God put spaces in between your fingers was so another person's hands could fill it up.

[Hat tip to bloggranddaughter Sissy of And What Next...]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

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[Call Kellie Fenters for a good time 1-224-627-1198]

"Thank you for calling Dial-a-Hummer. Kellie's mouth is full right now. Please hold until she swallows."

*cue muzak version of AC/DC's "Givin' the Dog a Bone"*

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(Introduction)

2) When Homer gained a lot of weight, what did the theater manager offer him if he would leave?

3) When Homer gained a lot of weight, what did he use to push buttons and tap windows?

4) In "Bart On The Road", we learn that Nelson really admires which famous singer?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

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(Introduction)

You would think after three years together I wouldn't be waiting for the phone like some luvstruck pre-teen. But alas, I do.

[from this post by bloggranddaughter Virtue of Rantings of an Indentured Servant]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

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[(quarter drilled part way through)]

PRESIDENTIAL FUN FACT:

In 1789, the other delegates teased Washington mercilessly for showing up to the Constitutional Convention with a huge hickey.

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(Introduction)

2) How are the out-of-control robots stopped at Itchy & Scratchy Land?

3) In "Treehouse of Horror V", which characters from another cartoon show are seen?

4) Who is Springfield's resident right-wing radio talk-show host?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

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Recent Google search string: "blinded by the light comedy routine".

From a guy in Canada.

I know what he's looking for.

Dude, it was "The Vacant Lot" comedy troupe that made fun of Bruce Springsteen's mystery lines in "Blinded by the Light".

And yes, that's where I got the idea for that particular section of Fun Facts About New Jersey.

Here's the script for the sketch you're looking for:

blinded by the light comedy routine

If anybody sees a despondent-looking Canadian sketch-comedy fan, point him in the direction of this post, please.

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The IMAO Podcast is still on hiatus, but I have an irresistable urge to finish up the rest of the states in the Fun Facts About The 50 States series, so I'm going to forge ahead - hopefully on a weekly schedule.

Should the podcast return, this is the list from which I'll pick & choose my favorite items to record.

This week, we're taking a trip to the state that habitually refers to Canada as "our neighbor to the west" - New York. So let's get started...

New York became the 11th state on July 26th, 1788 and was originally called New Amsterdam. Before the final name change, it was variously known as Not New Jersey, Whaddyalookinat, and Hookerland.

New York City's most famous landmark, the Statue of Liberty, is constructed out of copper and eventually turned green due to pollution from coal burning factories. If you scraped off the corrosion, you'd find that the statue was actually pink, completely naked, and originally titled "The Statue of Yowza!"

Vassar College, in Poughkeepsie, New York, was orginally founded as a women's college in 1861. Its motto is "Where women go to feel smart between evenings of drunken table dancing".

The 1969, the Woodstock Music Festival was held on Max Yasgur's farm in Bethel, New York. It reportedly took Mr. Yasgur over 2 years to get that hippie smell out of his manure pit.

Dairy farming is New York's #1 agricultural activity. The state's 18,000 dairy farms have a milk-producing capacity nearly that of Dolly Parton.

In 1807, the world's first steamboat, the Clermont, made its maiden voyage between New York City and Albany. It was during this trip that the phrase "are we there, yet?" was first coined.

The state tree of New York is the billboard

In 1899, the Kosher wine industry was started by Sam Shapiro in New York City. Before that, Jews drank nothing but the fermented blood of Palestinian babies. Or so I've heard.

New York City has 722 miles of subway track. Most of it heavily stained with wino vomit.

"Wizard of Oz" author L. Frank Baum was born in Chittenago, New York. His famous tale was loosely based on the lives of Al and Tipper Gore, as most great American stories are.

The New York Post - founded in 1803 by Alexander Hamilton - is America's oldest continually-published newspaper. Its first headline was "Jefferson Has No Exit Strategy For Barbary Coast Pirate Quagmire".

John Babcock of New York City invented the stationary rowing machine in 1869 as a less-smelly alternative to the then-popular exercise fad of riding a dead horse.

The first railroad in America ran the 11 miles between Albany and Schenectady, NY. The slow, primitive train ride carried few passengers, since riding a dead horse between the towns was nearly as fast.

New York City was the first capital of the United States. George Washington took his oath of office there in 1789, beginning the city's long and cherished tradition of gullibly trusting lying politicians.

Every November, New York City's Empire State Building plays host to the Boy Scouts' annual Urban Camp-out, allowing scouts to earn the elusive Drunk Rolling and Crack Procurement merit badges.

During the war of 1812, meatpacker Sam Wilson of Troy, New York, stamped "U.S. Beef" on the products he sent to the troops. This was popularly interpreted as - and began the legend of - Uncle Sam, although the letters actually stood for "urine soaked".

Don't make that face at me. Urine contains a plethora of natural preservatives.

Actor Humphrey Bogart was born in New York City in 1899. Little known fact - in the movie "Casablanca", he never said "Play it again, Sam." What he actually said was "AOL sends spam", one of the most prescient lines in cinematic history.

Jell-O was invented in Rochester, New York in 1897. Mostly as a way to help dispose of the mountains of dead horses that people didn't ride any more.

Marshmallows were also invented in Rochester. They stopped being manufactured there in 1984 after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man destroyed the city.

For obvious reasons, bumper-to-bumper warranties for cars sold in New York City do NOT cover the horn.

Gennaro Lombardi opened America's first pizzeria in New York City in 1895. Slices of the original pie are still being sold there today, or at least that's what it tastes like.

Locals don't complain about it, though, since New Yorkers wouldn't know good pizza if it jumped up and stuffed their noses full of pepperoni.

On July 28th, 1945, a B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building. The pilot wasn't Muslim, just really stupid, which isn't technically the same thing.

Joseph C. Gayetty of New York City introduced toilet paper to the world in 1857, causing sales of The New York Times to plummet.

Camera inventor George Eastman was born in Waterville, NY in 1854. His device was second only to the creation of the internet in revolutionizing the pornography industry.

New York was the first state to require license plates on automobiles, which featured the motto, "Get out of my way, jackass!"

Famed for his numerous, heartwarming Saturday Evening Post covers, painter Norman Rockwell was born in New York City. The secret to his technique was looking out the window of his Hell's Kitchen apartment and then painting the exact opposite of what he saw.

New York City is world-famous for its cultural diversity. While walking even a single block, a tourist can expect to be cursed at in over 40 different languages.

Contrary to the popular myth, local Indians did NOT sell the island of Manhattan for $24 worth of beads and trinkets. It was actually lost during an inexplicable run of bad luck at a Coney Island sidewalk game of 3-Card-Monte.

---

That wraps up the New York edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be stuck to the floor by the tar on our heels as we visit North Carolina.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go earn some merit badges.

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Real or fake?

(click to enlarge)

And how did you know?

If you can't tell, maybe you're not qualified to judge the Hezbollah Hundreds, either.

[context]

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As soon as you post that blogging will be light, you will immediately post more entries than have in the last month :-/

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(Introduction)

Thoughts of you warm my heart like a moon lit summer night.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

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[Angie P. Angie P.]

Angie HATED it when people made fun of her bladder control problem.

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(Introduction)

2) Who won the 1st Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Excellence?

3) Where did Homer's half-brother live after Homer ruined him financially?

4) What movie does Jimbo say moved him?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

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David Frum is talking about the Hezbollah Hundreds again. And he's talking out of his ass. For example:

Only one thing was missing--the thin wire security strip that runs from top to bottom of a genuine US$100 bill. The money Hezbollah was passing was counterfeit, as should have been evident to anybody who studied the photographs with due care.

I assume he's talking about the one single picture that shows a $100 bill with light passing through it, which I discussed in a previous post

As I said before, I don't think the picuture is clear enough to be definitive.

He goes on to brag about how "SnappedShots.com, MyPetJawa and Charles Johnson's Little Green Footballs" pointed out the counterfeiting:

These [blog] sites magnified photographs and showed them to currency experts and detected irregularity after irregularity in the bills.

I'm calling bullshit. Other than the questionable "absence" of a security strip, there was nothing in any of the pictures I saw which indicated that those notes were counterfeit. American currency is subject to wide variations in ink color and seal placement, and all the notes I saw were within spec.

I'm putting out a challenge: if there's anyone who can point out any "irregularites" BESIDES the crispness of the notes, the security strip in that ONE picture, ink color, or seal placement, (all of which I address in the earlier post mentioned above) please bring it to my attention, I'll tell you whatever I can based on my considerable currency-handling experience.

And for heaven's sake, use direct URL's that work.

A final thought, because I want to be very clear on this point. I'm NOT saying these bills are genuine. I'm saying that I haven't seen enough evidence to declare them counterfeit. Unlike these so-called "currency experts" who are, in my opinion, simply taking advantage of the situation to gain a little ego-stroking from the media.

[Hat tip to reader Larwyn for pointing out Frum's article to me]

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Have to say I appreciated the guesses. They cheered me up.

Here's the short version:

There's been a death in Beloved Wife TNT's family (sad, but - for various reasons - not necessarily tragic). TNT is the executor of the estate. The deceased did not keep particularly organized financial records, so we're scouring the house trying to find clues to any assets that may exist.

Not an easy task, since the deceased was - and I'm being polite - a bit of a pack rat. So that means we have to examine every single nook, cranny, and piece of paper as soon as possible.

It's a daunting task (it's a big house), but we're determined to do it to the best of our ability. Meanwhile, blogging may well be replaced by silence for uncomfortable stretches. Or it may work out that posting will continue uninterrupted. Hard to predict at this point

Meanwhile, please bear with me during any sporadic periods.

And, as always, please feel free to leave bizarre, amusing, and/or annoying comments at random intervals to help keep my spirits up.

Oh, one last request: I've had my fill of variations of "I'm sorry for your loss" over the last few days. If you must sympathize, a simple *hug* will do. Those help a lot.

Actually, leave two, or TNT will get jealous :-)

Posted by: Harvey at 09:38 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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No time for blogging.

Feel free to speculate as to why in the comments for your own amusement.

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(cross-posted from IMAO)

"This guy feels perfectly smooth in front... I guess the French have arrived."

[Hat tip to CENTCOM for the pic]

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(Introduction)

A kiss is a lovely thing designed by God for when words become unnecessary.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

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[Shorty 420]

Turns out that "Shorty" is actually one of those ironic nicknames, because that "420" is his... uh, size... in millimeters.

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(Introduction)

2) Homer gave Bart a Swiss Army knive he stole from who?

3) In the Junior Campers, after you've passed the written knife test, what rank do you achieve?

4) What does Mr. Sparkle promise to do to dirt?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

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