(Introduction)

You are the hot air balloon. You are the one floating among the clouds with the world below, details insignificant, astounding beauty enveloping you. I am the one reaching for you with my feet well grounded. And, as I reach, when I touch you... For just that second, I loose the ground and fly. And the flight is worth the agony of reaching.

[to which I added]

(thanks for making me stretch from time to time :-)

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 07:24 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.

Wanna get scared?

From my Dilbert Newsletter 57.0 (not yet on-line, but the other 56 are) come these tales of everyday idiocy, each followed by the 4 scariest words in the English language. Read on, if you dare:

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in the east (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

And then she voted.

=

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an Induhvidual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh. Pacific."

And then he voted.

=

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the admin assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."

And then she voted.

=

I was in a high school advanced physics class and the teacher was talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic waves on the battlefield to burst enemy soldiers' chests. One Induhvidual in the class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid! Why don't they just wear headphones?"

And a few years later, he voted.

=

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the passenger side door's map pocket.

And then she voted.

=

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought two cases. The cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

And then they all voted.

=

I was hanging out with a conservative friend of mine when we saw a woman walk by us with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

And then she voted.

=

My girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place last week and she asked the clerk which one of two sandwiches was better. The clerk didn't have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was more expensive. My girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and asked, "If that's the case, why are they both listed with the same price on the menu?" To this, the clerk responded, "I don't think they tax the turkey."

And then he voted.

=

I was at a convenience store buying a 99-cent "Behemoth Gulp"
or some such thing. The cost with tax was $1.02. I only had
a $5 bill. The clerk asked if I had two pennies. I said I didn't.

She said, "We'll take a couple from here," and got two pennies out
of her penny cup at the register. She handed me back my change: $4 in bills.and the two pennies.

And then she voted.

=

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

And then she voted.

=

After a meal at a nice restaurant, an Induhvidual, rubbing his stomach, said, "I don't know about you guys but I'm flabbergasted."

And then he voted.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:10 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 706 words, total size 4 kb.

(Introduction)

Wherever I am right now, I'd rather be standing behind you, kissing your neck.

Love,

Harv

[NOTE: I actually wrote this one myself]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 10:56 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.

Blogdaughter Tammi of Road Warrior Survival had sympathy on my poor frustrated self, and posted a care package.

Oh. My. Yes.

And there's even a little snicky-snack for the ladies at the end. So if you're a woman who's expressed some kind thoughts toward me lately, feel free to indulge.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:48 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 1 kb.

Remember that inanimate carbon rod that was competing to be my next blogchild?

Seems it's still a little bitter about the loss, and now it keeps posting about me.

I feel stalked.

Poor guy needs to meet a nice breeder reactor and do a little *ahem* "neutron abosorption", if ya know what I mean...

I couldn't Google up anything under "isotope porn", but I did find some "carbon porn" in the Google image files. Maybe this little (worksafe) tart will be able to end those lonely nights.

[Hat tips to Sally & Alex for creating finding this for me]

Posted by: Harvey at 10:36 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 101 words, total size 1 kb.

Ms. Cat of Tip of the Whip has a few choice words for parents who are upset with the military for... um... being the armed services:

So far today, in print, on television, on various news websites, on several message forums I peruse occasionally, I have seen (not counting duplicate stories about the same individual(s) ) at least 30 "just wanted the goodies, and don't owe them shit."-type articles, opinions, and posts.

Yep. "My son/daughter/nephew/niece/other relative joined the Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines/Guard/Reserve/Coast Guard/You-Name-The-Service to get a college education/health benefits/occupational training/etc. He/She did NOT join to get sent off to fight in a war/police action/other-hazardous-duty."

It's a good read, and I recommend it.

The part I want to discuss here, though, is this line:

Ohhh... and can't forget the "That recruiter lied. He never said my (___insert relative___) would have to do anything that might get him/her hurt/killed."

"That recruiter lied"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm sorry, I find that freakin' hilarious, because, for the most part, it's true.

Recruiters lie.

They will tell you the most incredible stories about all the fun times you'll have & how easy it is, and all the bonuses and schools you'll get... oh MAN! They'll tell you all KINDS of shit.

My recruiter told me that I'd be able to take leave during boot camp so I could be home for Christmas.
My recruiter told me that I could apply for shore duty & never have to go out to sea.
My recruiter told me that, if I washed out of Nuclear Power school, I could pick whatever other school I wanted to go to.

My recruiter slung a LOT of BS my way to get me to sign up.

He never told me I couldn't get killed in the military, though.

And if he would've, I would've deserved a good killin' for being gullible enough to believe him. Best take me out of the gene pool early.

So, yeah, recruiters lie. And if you're thinking of joining up, you'd best confirm the tales you're being told with a disinterested veteran, and not put all your faith in the uniformed huckster at the recruiting office.

But to claim that you thought the military was a safe job with no possibility of getting shot?

Maybe you should take another look at that memo.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:27 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 391 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Heh, I wanted to be an MP. My recruiter told me that being a Legal Specialist was just like being an MP.

Posted by: rockynoggin at September 29, 2004 10:38 PM (PfLFm)

2 I walked in out of college thinking about going AOCS and looking into Aviation. My 'recruiter' sexually harrassed me. Needless to say, I did not pursue a career in the military.

Posted by: Boudicca at September 30, 2004 06:13 AM (OfXwr)

3 Recruiters are *salespeople*! Do you *completely* believe a car salesman? Vacuum? Appliance? Mattress? (oops) err... umm... well, I think you get my point. heh.

Posted by: _Jon at September 30, 2004 08:09 AM (ZM3Qb)

4 *Cheshire-Cat grin* Yep. They do spin some fine tall tales... but I've never heard from a "reliable source" that they tell potential recruits that there are no hazards and that was a good part of my annoyance. I remember a conversation I had a good many years ago with my ex's father-- he did a stint as an Air Force recruiter before he retired. The gist of his comments that day was that the hardest part of the job was to balance reality with BS. Many thanks for the kind words! --Cat--

Posted by: Ms Cat at September 30, 2004 10:29 AM (qLr6j)

5 anyone dumb enough to want to be in the military ought to be allowed in. it should be the only requirement.

Posted by: bill hicks at December 02, 2004 03:00 AM (16U94)

6 Bill - Small typo there. You left out the word "French" before the word "military". Preview is your friend :-)

Posted by: Harvey at December 02, 2004 05:40 PM (ubhj8)

7 Not all recruiters lie. Often times it is the applicants who fail to listen, and fail to ask enough questions. After serving for 12 years, and still serving, I can tell you that serving in the Army is 80 percent great and 20 percent not so great. However, where else can you make 55k a year with benefits, work 165 days out of the year, and retire at 41 years old. Look at the whole picture. There is good and bad.

Posted by: Robert at January 27, 2005 07:32 AM (Wvt+E)

8 True. It's not all BS and a lot of times applicants DO have only themselves to blame. And I agree 100% that the military is, all things considered, a pretty sweet deal, benefits-wise. Granted, these serious risk involved, but you can die in pretty much ANY job. Of course, the BIGGEST benefit of serving is the pride, and you can't put a price-tag on that.

Posted by: Harvey at January 27, 2005 06:05 PM (ubhj8)

9 All the whinning has to stop. To the sailor crying about his recruiter telling him to wash out of Nuclear Power School, yeah right! It sounds like you where a wash out befor you joined! You dont even need a recruiter to get information anymore, its all at your finger tips. But of course if you ask any wash-out, kicked out, quitter or just someone who was just plain lazy and pathetic while serving they always have a sob story why it didnt work out! It's always somebody elses fault and reason why they are a loser. lol. Grow up, its an all volunteer force last time I checked! As for you high school seniors most of you wont pass the asvab or physical to get on active duty, now thats pathetic. Work at McDonalds' its not as hazerdouse and you get to wear a cool uniform... lol ... I salute all who serve.. even the Army-- they have and will do a great job now and in the future without you retarded boooo hooooo'ers! MSB

Posted by: Mark at June 04, 2005 12:55 PM (kgOle)

10 Mark - a point of clarification: I *didn't* wash out of NPS - graduated 14th in a class of over 200, in fact - and worked in the Reactor Department of the USS Enterprise for the 4 years I was aboard her. However, you ARE right. I *was* a washout. I had a 3.0 average in high school. I had the smarts to pull straight A's, but never applied myself. The reason I joined the Navy & shot for Nuke was that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. The lies my recruiter told me weren't material to my joining. I would've joined even if he'd have told me the truth on everything. I'm just pointing them out as an example of a recruiter lying.

Posted by: Harvey at June 06, 2005 11:45 AM (ubhj8)

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Physics Geek is the proud and sleepless papa of a shiny new baby girl.

I don't really understand why she's wearing a wool cap indoors like some kind of gangsta rapper, but somehow she makes the look work for her.

By the way, PG, I want to send you a crib-warming present of sorts. Send a snail-mail address to harvolson@charter.net, please.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:10 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's voice has some sort of weird Floridian twist on the classic dominatrix outfit.

I'm REALLY liking those boots.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Here I was knowing I looked like the biggest dork in the world, and I end up as some sort of dominatrix. I just DID NOT see that one coming.

Posted by: Boudicca at September 30, 2004 06:17 AM (OfXwr)

2 You'll know better next time ;-)

Posted by: Harvey at September 30, 2004 06:45 PM (ubhj8)

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Pssst! Comment party at Drunken Wisdom! Pass it on!

And somebody bring a webcam.

Spare handcuff keys might be useful, too...

Posted by: Harvey at 09:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Note from the Hostess: decorate first, THEN apply for membership

Filthy Lie Assignment reminder: Write one or more limericks about Evil Glenn due by 8pm CDT Friday, October 1st. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse

Wednesday linky stuff

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Debate Questions

New PGH Assignment: What advice would terrorist leader Muqtada al-Sadr give to John Kerry on running his campaign?

Posted by: Harvey at 09:22 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 73 words, total size 1 kb.

(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)

The Presidential debates are coming up, and I'm tired of those softball questions they keep asking, like "what's your favorite color?" and "do you prefer boxers or briefs?" It's time to get serious and ask important questions, like:

For Kerry:

Your wife, Teresa, keeps saying embarrassing things on the campaign trail, making you look bad and dragging down you poll numbers. Is she actually Karl Rove in drag, and, if so, how does this affect the performance of her "wifely duties"?

You have been accused of waffling on the Iraq issue, as well as everything else. How do you respond to this charge? Please give only one answer.

Is your new orange hue an attempt to bring diversity to your otherwise lily-white campaign, or are you merely courting the Oompa-Loompa vote?

How do you plan to convince the French to send troops to Iraq? Also please explain how their Crack Surrender Squad is a more effective fighting force than a division of American Marines.

You have said that you want to free America from its dependence on foreign oil. Doesn't Bush's war in Iraq already accomplish that by stealing Iraq's oil, thus making it non-foreign?

You want America to be "respected instead of feared". Have you considered the fact that both fearful and respectful terrorists can still attack us, but dead ones can't?

Will your health care program include free Botox injections? Just askin'.

The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth have been airing some very strongly worded attack-ads against you. Will you retailiate by shooting them in the back and stealing their rocket launchers?

And just to be fair, a couple for the President:

Your credentials for fighting the War On Terror are well established, but what are you doing to combat the well-documented monkey menace that currently threatens our nation? Also, do you think your chimp-like ears will help or hinder this endeavor?

If John Kerry is elected President, will you be stealing all the "F" keys from the White House computers?

Here's hoping that Thursday's debate is run cleanly and fairly.

And that Kerry experiences the first of the 4 losses he can expect before November 3rd.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

Posted by: Harvey at 08:12 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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What's the Carny O' P.J.'s?

Um... It's easier just to show you last week's.

For this week, same rules apply.

Post a picture of yourself (or a professional model whose picture you copied off some web page - like I'd know the difference anyway) in your favorite blogging attire. Leave a permalink in the comments to this post, send a trackback, or e-mail the link directly to me at harvolson@charter.net.

If you have trouble hosting images, you can send me the picture, and I'll post it for you, along with your description.

If you don't have a blog, but you're feeling particularly creative, same as above.

Entries due by 12pm CDT, Satuday, October 2nd, and I'll post the round-up Saturday afternoonish.

By the way, blogdaughter Boudicca specifically requests "bare chested men in boxers". Something to think about, fellas.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:30 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 152 words, total size 1 kb.

So I popped in at random to USS Clueless to see if he's posted anything.

Yup.

And it turns out that it's an announcement that he's starting an anime review site.

I don't like anime. I think it's poorly paced and artistically inept. The only thing worse than anime is hearing people talk about anime.

So my favorite writer in the world will now dedicate himself to writing about my least favorite topic.

Thus the title.

UPDATE 9-28-04 8:30AM: Now I'm just going to throw myself off a freakin' cliff. Steven FINALLY comments on my blog, and it's because I'm part of the "drive Steven crazy problem".

Seriously, I feel like shit.

Let me try to mollify. Steven, you write very well about anime, as you do on EVERY topic you touch. All I meant was that, since I have no interest in anime, I can't appreciate your writing on the topic, which pains me, because I appreciate - nay, ADORE - your writing on all the technical & philosophical topics. I was even fascinated by discussions of cell phone architecture & signal interpretation.

I'm just lost on anime.

I apologize if this came across as a personal attack. That wasn't what I was aiming for.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:55 AM | Comments (33) | Add Comment
Post contains 214 words, total size 1 kb.

1 You're not alone, Harvey. I can't stomach it for some reason... not of that generation, I guess.

Posted by: pam at September 28, 2004 07:41 AM (l6NIn)

2 Am I the only person who doesn't understand all this? What is anime?

Posted by: Boudicca at September 28, 2004 08:01 AM (OfXwr)

3 Your post is a good example of the kind of thing which made me decide to stop writing posts for "USS Clueless". No matter what I did, someone felt obligated to let me know that they didn't like it.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at September 28, 2004 08:02 AM (CJBEv)

4 Bou: Often epic Japanese animated series. Like transformers or GIJoe in the early 80's. Often they revolve around a)Whiney b)kids c)saving the world d)by piloting HUGE BLOODY ROBOTS e)while trying to find the existential reason for living/trying to get laid (note these two never occur together, which is a shame because if art house kids are any example, deep soul searching questiions are a great way to get laid, but i digress). Essentially if at least two of A-D aren't in the series, it's not anime. Likewise, if teh main characters Aren't trying to find the existential whatever OR trying to get laid, it's not anime. True anime at least. Most likely in that case, it was made in Korea for the express purpose of trying to sell it to American Teenage Boys (see next paragraph). Then there are the "Game" animeor Saturday Morning Anime (pokemon, yugioh, the like) which are so far beneath contempt that if Einstein were correct they must have gone all the way through the contempt spectrum to be lauded as Anime Gods or something. Incidentally, for some reason, these kids (usually rated as 14-17) have bust sizes (talking about the girls here, folks) rating from "nonexistant" to "Backache" with the geatest preponderance towards the latter. Believe me, it is very diverting, however, ... Nevermind there. I was going to start in on Hentai, that's anime porn esentially, but that lies far too down the crooked path for me (usually). Having read all that, yes, i do like Anime. As bad habbits go, its better than beating up old ladies on the street. Some of them do a very good job, most are little more than warmed over shit. Hope this wee primer helped clear things up a bit. :-D

Posted by: tommy at September 28, 2004 08:18 AM (7iw+1)

5 Wow. Who woulda thunk? Begs the question to me, "Where the hell have I been?" Best I can think of is when I lived in Taiwan, late 70's there was this Japanese cartoon we watched. We have no idea what anyone said, but there were robots and kids and the female robot's tits were also missiles. And they were BIG.

Posted by: Boudicca at September 28, 2004 09:06 AM (OfXwr)

6 Thats about right. There was one shown here on Cartoon Network called Kikaider where the kids all turned into Robots (kid sized) adn had lasers that shot from little nubs. They guy shot from his eyes, the girl from her nipples. My previous assertion did miss three important sub-genrae, the hard boiled genre (Cowboy Bebop), the "chicks with guns" genre (Noir, Gunsmith Cats) adn the "reforming killer with a heart of gold" genre (Rurouni Kenshin, Trigun). These are all (ok, except GC) plot driven epics. All good to try when just getting started.

Posted by: tommy at September 28, 2004 09:21 AM (7iw+1)

7 Thank you for the clarification. I just had no idea there was anything other than Pokeman, YuGiOh, Hamtaro or Digiman. Obiouvsly I have small children. I'll stick with my fave: Samurai Jack.

Posted by: Boudicca at September 28, 2004 11:16 AM (OfXwr)

8 Well, at least Pixy will be happy--he's one of those animeaholics....

Posted by: Susie at September 28, 2004 11:30 AM (Vzv6M)

9 Oh, and Harv--you're entitled to your opinion. If Mr. Den Beste doesn't like it, he can lump it.

Posted by: Susie at September 28, 2004 11:36 AM (Vzv6M)

10 In any field of human endeavor, Sturgeon's law applies: "90% of everything is crap." That is as true for anime as for anything else. If one briefly dips into anime, there's nine chances in ten that what they see will be the crummy stuff. But there's also quality there. A year ago I discovered that, and that's why I'm hooked now. Tommy has done a good job describing the lower 90%. Here's what he missed: "Serial Experiments Lain" fits no genre I can think of. It is extraordinary on every level, and the single best piece of anime I have watched. Anything by Miyazaki breaks the mold. Miyazaki is widely acknowledged to be the best animation director alive today. I have four of his movies and I consider three of them to be masterpieces. "Kaleido Star" is about a girl working in a circus which is clearly based on Cirque d'Soleil. "Angelic Layer" has girls and robots, but the robots are only 12 inches tall. They fight each other, but it's a game. "Excel Saga" - Anime as if it were done by Tex Avery on acid. The trick is to find the good stuff. WRT Harvey's post: I do not take it to be a personal attack. I took it to be a personal opinion. But I got tired of constantly being bombarded by such personal opinions. Suzie suggests that I "lump it". That's exactly what I did do, which is why I stopped posting to USS Clueless.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at September 28, 2004 02:09 PM (CJBEv)

11 Hey Harvey, Bad news. I'm switching my blog too. Instead of comedy I'll be writing about Anime also. The Really Bad news is I don't think anyone will notice.

Posted by: RightWingDuck at September 28, 2004 03:42 PM (1AWMf)

12 Well, I must be the only person who has heard of anime with no opinion either way. Yes I've heard of it, no I haven't had time to look into it and decide whether or not I would like it. There are simply too many things pulling at the limited time I have, therefore anime shall remain unexplored for the moment. This also means I won't be making a concerted effort to read anime blogs. However, I'm sure that Steven will write about anime with the same skill he has brought to other subjects. As long as he enjoys what he's doing - that is what blogging is about.

Posted by: Teresa at September 28, 2004 03:56 PM (nAfYo)

13 Good luck to Mr. Den Beste. I have no interest in anmine, I barely watch TV and haven't been to a movie since Columbus was a Seaman Recruit.

Posted by: Peter at September 28, 2004 05:06 PM (hoo48)

14 Hey Harv, I think it's a family curse - remember I got a comment from Chris Muir not too long ago? Then he had to give up his work due to family issues. Steven is a wonderful writer, a deep thinker, and I think he is passionate about his work. Which is why so many people love it or hate it. Anything of a strong opinion will generate a reaction. The best example of Steven's position (from my opinion) is "Chinese Water Torture". Steven's example was that each person agreeing with him was a pat on the back. After several hundred thousand of those, one's back gets pretty sore. Yeah, I know - what a tough problem to have, eh? Well, yes, it is. Some people think that having lots of money, skills, resources or talent is a blessing - but it's a curse too. The problem Steven is describing is related to his brilliant intellect combined with a gift for presentation. The guy writes well and the result is more accolades than he can handle. The high isn't worth the hang-over for him. I morn for the loss for him as an outlet for his creativity, but it appears that he's found another outlet. (I own only 3 Anime DVD's (Miyazaki's works). All were based upon recomendations from Steven. I've been fascinated by them. Without his posts I never would have gotten them - and I got them without hesitation based upon Steven's recomendation.) I morn the loss for us because the clear, well-formed logic that we used to enhance our lives will no longer be available via Steven's mind. While I cherish the knowledge he has provided me, I also know that there are others with his gifts - just as there are people with mine. The decomissioning of Clueless is a painful loss, but as with the dead-tree books, we will always have what he has already imparted to us. One part of me hopes that Steven will form a secret special access blog that requires a "no pandantic nitpicking" pledge in order to receive it. I'd sign that in a heartbeat. But from what I've picked up of his personality, he's probably capable of ending that phase of his life and moving on. No matter how painful we may think it is for him. Best of luck, Mr. Den Beste. Best wishes, too.

Posted by: _Jon at September 28, 2004 05:27 PM (RZ4Hy)

15 Gee, what I always figured the most annoying part of anime was the tendancy of the characters to talk in very fast sentances, usually reduntantly, with often no real bearing on the plot. Sometimes it is used for extremely fast plot exposition, but it usually just seems like people thinking out loud really fast, to me. But yeah, when I was a kid, I was hooked on Robotech, Voltron and G-Force. What can I say, I've always had an appreciation for explosions. Even in cartoons.

Posted by: GEBIV at September 28, 2004 08:22 PM (BQDCT)

16 "Gotta get back back to the past..come on Jack!" Is that what they are saying in the SJ theme? That is great Anime...I guess it's Anime. The Star Wars stuff done by the same guys is great too. My buddy ripped it from cartoon network and I still haven't seen all of it.

Posted by: Joshua at September 28, 2004 10:49 PM (ZOwDj)

17 GEBIV, unfortunately that is a byproduct of dubbing from the original Japanese to English. Same with the good Godzilla movies. Best to watch it in Japanese with the subtitles, besides, then you learn to swear in Japanese. "Kieuseru Kusotare," for example is my favorite phrase of Japanese, and when said in a jaunty manner makes people feel good. See both educational adn entertaining. (For anyone who speaks japanese that reads this, it's not me, it's my evil twin, Cedric.) :-D

Posted by: tommy at September 28, 2004 11:08 PM (7iw+1)

18 I'm switching my blog as well, but because I'm an anacronistic type I'm going to blog exclusively about puppet shows.

Posted by: Graumagus at September 29, 2004 02:21 AM (YTto3)

19 Grau, but only if it's roadkill puppets right?

Posted by: Contagion at September 29, 2004 07:45 AM (Q5WxB)

20 I don't know anything about anime but there's something about it that's a little creepy. Regarding other matters under discussion, I've never been able to understand how some people can be so sensitive. My first inclination is to say, "Oh grow up already!" but maybe it's a side effect of being a genius - the 'how dare anyone question me' syndrome. Since I'm not a genius I guess I could never understand.

Posted by: Lynn S at September 29, 2004 09:00 AM (KNvad)

21 In Steven's case, I think it's actually the "how dare everyone and their brother and occasionally their cat - plus sometimes even a drunken midget living in a cardboard box under a bridge - question me on points that aren't even relevant to the thrust of my argument, and do it 4000 times a day" syndrome. And for the record, Lynn, I think you have genius a-plenty on topics musical. I seem to recall singing (literally) your praises in that department, once :-)

Posted by: Harvey at September 29, 2004 09:11 AM (tJfh1)

22 But you can't blame him. I mean the man writes essentially essays of a length that i have never written outside of a major college assignment simply on things that interest him or on how he sees things, and THEN has people lambast him for each tiny mistake or petty grievance over the subject matter. Folks the man just spent a large portion of time writing for the heck of writing and hoping to amuse or inform the masses, he does NOT need a doctorate student telling him where he went wrong in his explaination of stellar cartography because he said "azimuth" instead of "Declination." Alternately, he could just filter out every e-mail he gets, then he wouldn't have to worry about it, or the e-mails asking why he didn't respond. That would be funny, but counter-productive. I think i'm just going to be happy with whatever he deigns to write and not worry about it from there. Incidentally, this is probably the longest comment thread that has NOT mentioned either boobies or Reddi-Wip ever on this site. What, are you going respectable on us, Harv?? :-D

Posted by: tommy at September 29, 2004 10:52 AM (7iw+1)

23 I guess it must be Hell to be popular. Of course, I wouldn't know about that either. ;-)

Posted by: Lynn S at September 29, 2004 10:54 AM (KNvad)

24 Being 52 years old, maybe that's why I don't understand this anime stuff. I've had it explained to me, I've had it shown to me, still doesn't stick. Just don't care for it. But I know something even worse, something that the first time I heard about it, saw it, left me speechless with horror. Left me speechless and made me wonder about the fate of humanity. Harvey, want to know what it was? Furries! That's right, honest to God people who seriously dress up like critters that they think they are and then go around and be half furry and half human. They even have conventions. Oh. My. God. How low has the human race sunk. Jeez.

Posted by: BeeBee at September 29, 2004 11:43 AM (V1fcb)

25 "How low has the human race sunk"? Well, we have "sunk" to the point where people can dedicate large portions of their time to pursuing and enjoying trivial hobbies. We've elevated society to the point where busting your ass for 18 hours per day, 365 days per year, is not necessary to ensure survival. We've gotten to the point where we can discuss the brilliance and sensitivity of a man we've never met, with people we've never met, in (nearly) real time, in a public forum. I'm kinda looking forward to see how low we can go, honestly.

Posted by: _Jon at September 29, 2004 11:55 AM (R6yie)

26 Tommy - BOOBIES! [/respectability] BeeBee - *blush* I'm already familiar with the concept of furries http://home.att.net/~ltorrance03/furry-parade33.jpg _Jon - race ya to the bottom :-)

Posted by: Harvey at September 29, 2004 02:05 PM (ubhj8)

27 The light bulb went on Harvey, I just figured out why Kerry is turned orange. This is breaking news. You see Kerry is a furry, his inner animal is a tiger. Hence the orange color, he has just taken his inner furriness to new, unimagined levels. Soon the stripes will start to appear, maybe even a tail. I dunno, this is as good as anything else I've read trying to find out why he turned orange. What do you think of my theory?

Posted by: BeeBee at September 29, 2004 03:28 PM (V1fcb)

28 I'm trying to think of another animal that is orange, other than a tiger. A tiger implies some type of ferociousness, bravery and stealthiness, none of which he has. Is there a such thing as an orange slug?

Posted by: Boudicca at September 29, 2004 03:34 PM (OfXwr)

29 OOps, nix that. Slugs aren't furry or animals for that matter. An orange weasel?

Posted by: Boudicca at September 29, 2004 03:35 PM (OfXwr)

30 Naw, Kerry is the Tiger who never earned his stripes. Heh. Kinda like his Purple Hearts.

Posted by: BeeBee at September 29, 2004 03:57 PM (V1fcb)

31 Banana slugs? Aren't they supposed to be yellow? Or at teh very least big and slimy. I mean, he DOES ooze in at least every interview i've ever seen. And thanks, Harvey, i was startig to worry. :-D

Posted by: tommy at September 29, 2004 04:25 PM (7iw+1)

32 Maybe Kerry is Tony the Tiger, who looks kind of ... let's just call it "festive"... wearing that blue bandana all the time. Which would also explain why Kerry is always rubbing, touching, and caressing John Edwards :-/

Posted by: Harvey at September 29, 2004 06:22 PM (ubhj8)

33 Ewww, Harvey. But that would explain those rosy cheeks both seem to be courting. Courting, mmm, bad choice of words. Could almost be kissing cousins, opps, again bad choice of words. I better go get my mind out of the gutter. Been dealing with Numb Nut Nephew and Twitter his mother. Seems both are just a touch angry at me. Gosh, I can't figure out why except maybe I told them they're full of ****. What a coincidence, both are Kerry supportors.

Posted by: BeeBee at September 29, 2004 06:37 PM (V1fcb)

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(Introduction)

I only wish to be the fountain of love from which you drink, every drop promising eternal passion.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 09:32 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

1 ... of course, here in Wisconsin, we call it a "bubbler". Hey, not EVERYTHING I say is dirty ;-)

Posted by: Harvey at September 27, 2004 09:33 PM (ubhj8)

2 ...And i have my own built in tap. Not as much for me, thanks for leaving it open

Posted by: tommy at September 27, 2004 10:09 PM (7iw+1)

3 "Until I get that drop and realize this is bad shit. I get the eternal part now, but without the passion..." (Apology to blog-daddy for taking so long to post here; meeting all the new family member requirements has taken all 24 hours of each of my last 3 days. Even though I only got adopted two days ago. The mandatory logos and stuff weren't too hard to include, but the endless meetings with the Bilderberger Society, Trilateral Commission, and Flat Earthests (they were the worst - you can't even begin to imagine their hazing ceremony)... What? I thought you said I had to *DO* all that!

Posted by: Jeff Brazill at September 28, 2004 03:26 PM (Yukjz)

4 *picks self up off floor* Harvey, do you need some chicken soup? everything ok? should i get BeeBee to make you a Boston Cream Pie? and now for my dirty remark: nevermind, i can't. too dirty. chickening out.

Posted by: sarahk at September 28, 2004 10:32 PM (HtWwm)

5 Sarah - yeah, that one was a little too obvious :-) Jeff - I *did*. Now get out of here and don't come back until you're a Freemason.

Posted by: Harvey at September 29, 2004 06:39 AM (ubhj8)

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Having suffered through several inane conversations at work today, I find myself thinking a LOT about this "Pearls Before Swine" cartoon strip.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:26 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Blogless Brother Tom celebrates diversity his own special way by offering this possibility for dealing with terrorists:

To solve our terrorist problem, we simply make it common knowledge through visual/written means (air dropped leaflets and their TV) ALL prisoners will be stripped naked and walked past giggling, pointing and laughing female soldiers before they're given an injection of pig's blood (a few units from a half-cc syringe) then released.

ALL troops should be issued new ammo - hollow point filled with some pork product. I figure this Allah shit will be over real quick.

The pig-ammo trick will work here, too. Just arm every American with it (sell it as "your patriotic duty against terrorism").

Does it make me a bad person that this thought makes me giggle maliciously?

Posted by: Harvey at 08:20 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[I GREW HEMP]

Which I mixed with slacked lime and chicken excrement and sold to the people of Turkmenistan as a substitute for nas.

[hat tip to Gary of The Owner's Manual]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: What question would you ask at the Presidential debates? due by 8pm Wednesday. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

A Filthy Lie

Posted by: Harvey at 07:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 10:08 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

A while back I started the Little Right Wing Circle Jerk, which is founded on two principles:

1) Information found on blogs is at least as accurate as information found in the mainstream media

2) It's morally wrong to hijack someone else's blog.

The second one is fairly easy to agree with, but the first one requires a little nerve to assert.

In my recent surfing, however, I've come across several posts in praise of the excellent job the blogosphere does of getting its facts straight. To honor these intrepid souls, I present:

THE SECOND OCCASIONAL JERKY AWARDS

The Little Right Wing Circle Jerk Award of Merit (or "Jerky") is given to those who defend the honor of blogger credibility vs. the so-called "journalistic integrity " of the mainstream media. I hereby award Jerkies to the following fine folks:

Gerard of American Digest:

Yes, it will be argued, 'the blogging phenomenon is still tiny when compared to the (remarkably shrinking) audience of Dan Rather's Nightly newscast.' That might be a persuasive argument if bloggers were hermits living down in a cypress swamp with only marsh lights and glowing monitors illuminating their fitful existence. Alas for old media, these new media life forms actually have access to the largest and more important media distribution channel on the planet, bigger even then, gasp, The Internet -- Word of Mouth. And in electoral politics, word of mouth bats last and closes the sale.

A blog is not just a page, but a human being -- sometimes several human beings. Each blogger has friends, family, and associates and they read the page, no matter how small. And all those friends, family and associates have other friends, family and associates that they talk to, that they hang out with, that they dine and sleep with. And all those people have backfences of the mind or of the yard and that's how the news gets around. That's how tens of thousands of opinions and facts get spread out to millions upon millions of others -- fast and as sure as the law of gravity. A small page here and a small page there and pretty soon you're talking about a medium with a pretty big mouth.

Paul of Wizbang:

How many people are in your newsroom Mr. Wasserman? 50, 100, 200???

Today in the blogosphere, a single post garnered well in excess of 300 links. Each person reviewing what others have claimed and offering what they knew. Can you say 300 people in your newsroom looked at your column today Mr. Wasserman? ...30? ...3?

Glenn of Instapundit:

When you're a blogger, you present ideas and arguments, and see how they do. You have a reputation, and it matters, but the reputation is for playing it straight with the facts you present, not necessarily the conclusions you reach. And a big part of the reputation's component involves being willing to admit you're wrong when you present wrong facts, and to make a quick and prominent correction.

As long as they promise not to hijack any blogs, the above-linked people are cordially invited to display either the Jerky Award image or the Little Right Wing Circle Jerk logo, or both.

[Credit: Jerky Award and LRWCJ logos created by Pam of Pamibe, the queen of graphic design - she's the one to see for all your blog-related image needs]

Posted by: Harvey at 10:06 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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