HOW TO STOP PROCRASTINATING EVENTUALLY

Bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos To Serendipity is having some issues with procrastination, and is asking for advice.

Here are three tricks that I use that sometimes help:

1) Procrastinate in place - have the thing you're supposed to do in front of you, then screw off. For example, if you're supposed to write a blog post, but you'd rather read a book, sit in front of the computer, open your browser to your Blogger editing page, then sit & read your book. That way if your better nature kicks in, you can just jump right onto your task.

2) "Just for 5 minutes" - Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Work on your "supposed to" project for 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, quit.

Although the idea is to get you going, don't be afraid to actually quit after 5 minutes sometimes so that your brain doesn't get that idea that this is just a trick to make you do what you're supposed to.

3) The "what's stopping me?" list - Write on a sheet of paper "What's stopping me for doing [my project] right now?", then list the reasons/excuses you're using for avoiding the work. Sometimes seeing your problems in writing makes it easier to figure out how to solve them. The added bonus is that you still get to procrastinate, because you're not actually working on the project by doing this, even though it may lead to productive activity ;-)

If you've got any other tips, please drop them in the comments.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:13 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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COOL CANS

Physics Geek links a video that demonstrates how you can quickly cool a can of carbonated beverage by using a can of expensive compressed air that you should really save for cleaning your computer. You'll also need to drill a hole in a tupperware container, use up some electrical tape, and I hope you have a pair of gloves handy.

Feh.

This is a lot cheaper & requires fewer tools. Forgot where I found it, but I've tested it successfully:

Big mixing bowl, enough water to cover the can, lots of ice, lots of ordinary table salt.

Combine & stir for 2 minutes.

Heat transfer rate is greatly increased by increasing the relative velocity of the cooling medium.

By the way, you might want to wait 20 seconds before opening the can.

Why 20 seconds? Because that's all the longer it takes for a can of soda to settle, no matter how vigorously you shake it. I've tested this one, too. (Credit: Penn & Teller's "How to Play in Traffic").

Please note that the 20 second rule does NOT apply to bottled soda.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:32 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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THE 18-INCH RULE

Blogdaughter Teresa had an issue with misplacing a SD memory card. I don't know if this advice applies in this case, since she found it under some paper, but the 18-inch rule is still a handy tool, so I thought I'd share this (NOTE - I didn't invent this, it's just something I stumbled across while wandering the mysterious backwaters of the internet many years ago).

Since your arms are about 18 inches long, a misplaced item will usually be within 18 inches of where you are when you notice it's missing.

Unless you're the type of person who will get up and walk around your house, hiding things from yourself.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not here to judge your choice of lifestyle.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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FASTER SERVICE AT THE BANK

If you're going through your bank's drive-through, which lane should you pull into?

Based on observing customer behavior, I suspect most people think the answer is "whichever lane is closest to the building", because I see people going 3 or 4 deep in that first lane when the rest are empty.

But here's the truth. Tellers do not process transactions in order of your proximity to the building. Nor do they process them in the order you pull up.

They process transactions in the order that they arrive at their workstation.

Unless your transaction is too big (or too heavy with coin) to fit into that plastic tube, ALWAYS pick an open lane, even if it's the one that's farthest from the building, then send your transaction in as soon as you can. If you get yours in before someone who pulled in at the same time in a different lane, you win.

Just a little time-saving tip. Use it as you will.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:10 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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SCOTT ADAMS 9 POINT WEALTH PLAN

I'm posting this here so that I can find it whenever I need it:

Do these in this order

1. Make a will.

2. Pay off your credit cards.

3. Get term life insurance if you have a family to support.

4. Fund your 401(k) to the maximum.

5. Fund your IRA to the maximum.

6. Buy a house if you want to live in a house and can afford it.

7. Put six months' worth of expenses in a money market account.

8. Take whatever money is left over and invest 70% in a stock index fund and 30% in a bond fund through any discount broker, and never touch it until retirement.

9. If any of this confuses you, or if you have something special going on (retirement, college planning, tax issues), hire a fee-based financial planner.

The only modification I'd make to this is to suggest that the bond investments be on sort of a sliding scale proportional to your age. The bonds are there as a hedge against downturns in the stock market. The closer you get to retirement, the more you need that, because you have less time left to ride out rough patches. If you're in your 20's, there's nothing wrong with going 100% stocks. By the time you hit your 40's, though, you should definitely start putting some bonds in the mix.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:30 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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FLASH!

Blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities points out that there's a gaping security hole in my Adobe Flash player.

Since I use Flash all the time for everything from fun little online timewaster games to random video clips, I figured I should get this fixed.

Seriously, I don't have time to deal with a virus.

If you don't either, click the link, and thank Teresa.

Oh, and be sure to patch ALL your browsers on ALL your computers.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:37 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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JUST IN CASE YOU NEED IT

A little help for the over-hormoned teenage boys.

If you're ever refer to someone's mother as a MILF, and she overhears you and asks what a MILF is, tell her it stands for "Mom I'd Like as a Friend"

She'll probably say "Awwww... that's so sweet!" and give you a cookie.

Try not to stare at her cleavage when you take it.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:57 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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PRICEY, BUT COMPLETELY WORTH IT

If you like dark chocolate, you need to try Bellagio Sipping Chocolate.

I bought it for TNT, but then I started putting a little in my coffee, and now I can't stop.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:07 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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THE ONE TIME THE PHRASE "FOR THE CHILDREN" DOESN'T MAKE ME VOMIT

From Rachel of Pereiraville:

Please go visit my ten-year-old brotherÂ’s month-old blog and my almost eleven-year-old step-daughterÂ’s often abandoned blog. Please. DonÂ’t just click over there, leave them a comment or two. And maybe consider checking in on them once in a while. DonÂ’t tell them, but blogging is a great way to get them to practice their writing skills. And how great is it for them to have random strangers offering them feedback and encouragement?

Now I support children improving their writing skills, so I'm going to encourage you to go to Rachel's post and click the kids' links from there.

I'm not including the links here, because I don't want them following their refers back here.

Bad Example is NOT an appropriate place for pre-teens.

Nevertheless, I *do* want to look at Cal's Sept. 5th post, "Blah Blah Stuff", where we find the question, "Why in school they teach us all this boring stuff that you downright don't need[?]"

Well, here's the short answer:

Truth is, after you graduate, you will forget 90% of the stuff you learn in school, and it will not hurt you at all.

However, 10% of the stuff you learn will be vital to your ability to live and thrive as a successful, independent adult.

The trouble is, until you actually graduate and choose a career, it's IMPOSSIBLE to know which 10% is the stuff you'll need and which is just useless garbage.

Therefore, unless you learn it ALL, you run the risk of losing out BIG TIME in the future.

To use a video game analogy: the first time you play a game, you don't know what items or power ups you'll need to defeat the final level, so you grab everything you can when you have the chance, lest you end up without what you need at a critical moment.

Education is exactly the same.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:40 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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A SPRING CLEANING FOR YOUR CONSCIENCE

I did not write this.

This is something I found while I was poking around in the deepest, darkest depths of my hard drive. Sadly, I neglected to note the source.

Anyway, it's good stuff.

Figured I'd share

---

*** THE TOP 10 STEPS TO GUILT-FREE LIVING ***
----------------------------------------------------

Too many people live in a state of constant guilt. They feel guilty if they spend a cent on themselves. They feel guilty if they are not constantly at the beck and call of someone else. They feel guilty if anything goes wrong in the life of any of their loved ones, because, somehow, they should have prevented it. Sometimes it seems as though they feel guilt just because they exist! Others feel guilty because their behavior and their values are frequently at odds. Here are some reassurances and ways to plan ahead so as to not feel guilty.

1. If you don't want others to know about something you are about to do, then that is a signal that you are ashamed of it. Solution - don't do it.

2. Understand that you are as worthy of care and attention as anyone else, and it is not wrong to nurture yourself. Whether it is taking time for yourself, spending money on yourself, or eating good chocolate as you take a bubble bath, you are entitled, and you do not need to feel guilty. The edict from the Bible says "Love your neighbor AS yourself, not MORE THAN yourself."

3. Examine your motives. Why are you contemplating a particular action? If you will eventually need to explain to anyone else why you did it, will you be willing to be honest about it? If not - don't do it.

4. Set your own values according to what you believe. When we are very young and do not know right from wrong we need to learn values from someone. As we grow older, we need to develop our own values, according to our beliefs. It may be that those values will be the same as the ones were given when young. Or not. What is important is that we have examined them, and made our own choices.

5. Identify and dismiss your judges. Most people who suffer from unnecessary guilt do so because there is a little judge sitting (metaphorically) on their shoulders. It may be the voice of an angry parent, a judgmental teacher, a mocking older sister, or someone else who judged you when you were young and not old enough to have developed your own values and conscience. Understand that you are now old enough to make your own decisions, to decide on your own values. When your behavior is based on your own decisions and you hear the judge whispering guilt into your ear, smile, turn your head, whisper "Goodbye," and gently blow the judge off your shoulder. This ritual will help you to become aware that the judge's values are not necessarily your values.

6. Understand that you have done the best you could with the tools that you thought you had. You could do no more. If you now realize that it was not enough, reach out to get some more tools, tools to help you become more of who you really want to be, to help you do what is right. The only way to make right the past is to make right the future.

7. Integrate yourself, do not live different lives, or be different people, in different settings. A person who is one person at work and lives according to completely different values at home, or who splits life up in other ways, lives in fear of being found out and cannot always live according to his/her true values. We need to find our own deep foundation, and use this to support all aspects of our lives.

8. Imagine that the entire world hangs in the balance between good and evil, and that your action will swing the balance in one direction or the other.

9. If you are still in doubt, talk with someone you trust, NOT with someone who will advise you to do what they think you want to do.

10. Ask yourself if this is the behavior you would want your grandchildren to know you by. If you still have any doubts about whether or not it is right to do something, ask yourself this question. The answer will be your guide.

---

If anyone knows where this came from, drop a comment.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:29 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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OK, SO NOW YOU KNOW HOW NOT TO KISS *HER*

Kevin of Wizbang points to a post by Cassy of Cassy Fiano who complains that men don't know how to kiss and she lists several osculatory annoyances.

The problem I have with the list, though, is that I'm horrified at the thought of someone reading it and then crossing all those techniques off their list for the rest of their lives, never to try them again because they're "bad".

Apparently Cassy thinks they're bad. And some of her friends agree. But I can guarantee you that there ARE other women out there who find excessive saliva and intrusive tongue action to be pleasureable.

Fact is, one person's "EWWW!" is another person's "OHHH!". There aren't any universals, just individual preferences, and making assumptions based on one woman's opinions just might wind up costing you.

My point is that if you're not sure how your partner likes to be kissed, just ask. If she's not comfortable talking about it, ask her to SHOW you how she likes to be kissed. You might be surprised to find her doing something from the "forbidden" list.

Or maybe not.

Just be aware that it's better to get advice on intimate topics from your partner than from some stranger on the internet.

Which, I suppose, would technically include THIS post, but I'm not a stranger, I'm a friend. Just trust me on this one. Try talking. Communication is sexy.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:53 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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A HEALTHY ATTITUDE ABOUT BODY IMAGE

Note to the ladies - talk like this is sexy. You know why? Because taking a strong woman to bed feels like conquering Mt. Everest.

I like women who make me believe that they KNOW that they are a prize worth having.

[Hat tip to Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed for the video]

P.S. Here's an interview with Joy Nash in Skorch magazine (April 2007, page 66).

P.P.S. Not to be confused with the romance novel author or the basketball player Joy Nash.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:39 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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ON PODCASTING

Because I did some podcasting for IMAO, and because blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City suggested it in the post where I mentioned the upcoming PodCamp Conference in NYC (April 6th & 7th, 2007, and there's still time to register), I'm going to share what I learned from the my podcasting experience - which was mostly how to do it on the cheap.

When the IMAO crew first brought up the idea of doing a podcast, I was totally against it. Figured that if I'd wanted to do voice work, I'd have gotten a job at a radio station. I mean, while it's true that I have a face for radio, I also have a voice for mime. Nevertheless, I took the plunge to be a team player.

The first step, of course (aside from reluctant acquiescence), was getting some recording equipment.

I started with a cheap microphone. Not the bottom of the line $10 model, the nearly-bottom $20 model.

I used this for most of the early podcasts, but around August of 2005, I splurged on a fancy $60 mike and a $150 amp on the advice of the podcast's then-producer, Scott McCollum, who wanted to standardize the quality of the recordings. You can probably tell the difference if you compare the earlier and later podcasts, but if podcasting is only a hobby for you, then a $20 mic is fine.

However, after I got my $20 mike, I realized that I also needed two pieces of equipment that I didn't have - a pop filter and a microphone stand.

Well, they didn't sell pop filters locally, I didn't want to wait to have one shipped, and I didn't want to spend the time to make one of the fancy home-made ones. Even the ultra-half-assed method of slipping old nylons over a bent coathanger was beyond my means, as my wife didn't have any old nylons kicking around.

So, working on the theory that what I *really* needed was just some porous material between my lips and the microphone, I took a sheet of mesh foam-grip drawer-liner and wrapped it around the head of the microphone.

As for the microphone stand, well, I figured all I needed to do was get the thing off my desk and near my face. So I put the mike in a glass cup (heavy enough so that it wouldn't tip over), and set the cup on a cigar box. Here's what it looked like:

Crude, yet effective. But mostly crude.

For recording software, I used WavePad - it's free and relatively intuitive.

Then there was my "recording studio".

You can't just talk in a room, you need something to deaden sound & minimize echoes and ambient noises. My chosen something was to put a sheet over my head and the computer monitor:

Sheet over computer monitor (left) and computer chair (right). Recording artist not included. Some assembly required.

Which does the job ok, although it does get a little warm under there, and the light's not very good. The main side effect of this method is that it makes you do several takes, aiming for one good read, because you don't want to spend MORE time under the sheet editing your recording and it's a pain to keep setting up & taking down the sheet.

Once the talky bits are recorded, it's time for some simple post-production work with WavePad:

1) Apply the noise reduction function - get rid of most of the pops, paper-shuffling, and chair-squeaks. Makes the rest of the clean up easier.

2) Amplify - With my computer system, I found it helpful to double the volume so that I could hear everything clearly without cranking up my speakers.

3) Frequency adjustments - using the Equalizer, lower the highs and boost the lows a bit, so that it doesn't sound so tinny.

3) Cut! Cut! Cut! - Carve it down to one good, clean take - mostly snipping out throat-clearings, dead air, and bad takes.

And then the nightmare begins:

Mixing in music.

First, trying to find royalty-free music on the web is like trying to find REAL information on discount mortgages - a LOT of fruitless searching through deceptive, search-engine-optimized web sites. Ditto for sound effects. It was even worse for me, since I'm not musically inclined enough to write my own tunes, and all the free music-generating software I found had miserably steep learning curves. Sure, those programs are versatile, but I'm stupid and impatient. Plus none of them seemed to come with electric guitar samples - which is what I was mainly looking for - although you can bass, drum, and piano to your heart's content.

In the end, I wound up finding some guitar chord samples and I put them together using some chording instructions for basic blues riffs. Not pretty, but it gave me 8 seconds of music that I could loop for background. You'll hear it in the last few podcasts behind my reading of the Fun Facts.

Blending music and speech is fairly simple with WavePad - just copy, set the volume to mix at, and paste - but getting the music to stop and start at precisely the right points is tedious and time-consuming. Putting together a three-minute Fun Facts segment (actually two 90-second ones) took about two hours from the time I started printing out my scripts to the time the last finishing touch was in place. Very nearly the same amount of time it took me to write the Fun Facts in the first place. Which somehow made it seem not worth the bother, because I didn't think the background music & occasional sound effects improved the piece all that much over the plain written version.

Once that was done, I was done. I just mailed it off to the podcast's producer/sound-engineer, and prayed for no last-minute re-writes.

So that's my experience with podcasting. It was a huge bother and I didn't much enjoy it.

However...

Going through the process, with all the script-writing, Skype-chatting, and e-mailing back & forth with other participants in the various IMAO podcast sketches DID help cement friendships with the rest of the IMAO crew.

And THAT made it all worthwhile.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:11 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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IF YOU HAVE KIDS, *THIS* IS THE MOVIE REVIEW SITE YOU NEED

How many times have you taken your kids to a "kids" movie - maybe something from Disney that you figured HAD to be safe - only to discover that it was peppered with inappropriate violence, sexual innuendo, and toilet humor?

Well, via bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks (via Dad of Raising4boys.com), I've discovered Kids-In-Mind: Movie Ratings That Actually Work.

They break a movie down completely and specifically mention every single scene that you might have to explain to or discuss with your kids.

This does not mean that they're passing judgment or saying these movies are bad, they're just saying that forewarned is forearmed. If you read these reviews, you WILL know exactly what you're getting into if you take your kids to see a particular movie.

They also list possible topics for discussion, and the movie's overall message.

And they are THOROUGH. Here's a review for the G-rated movie, Charlotte's Web:

Dakota Fanning stars as a young girl that saves a little pig from being killed and cares for it, and they become friends. The pig also befriends a spider named Charlotte that none of the other barn animals can tolerate, and their friendship causes a chain of events that eventually has an effect on the lives of everyone. Also with Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, Dominic Scott Kay and John Cleese. Directed by Gary Winick. [1:37]

SEX/NUDITY 1 - A boy and a girl look at each other and smile in a few scenes, and then run off holding hands in another scene.

VIOLENCE/GORE 2 - A man picks up a piglet, and then a heavy axe, and walks out of a stall where is confronted by his daughter who protests the fact that he is going to kill the piglet (the man relents).
* A girl punches a boy in the arm. A girl tackles her younger brother who was trying to kill a spider (the boy had trapped the spider in a jar).
* A rat is chased by two crows who squawk and dive toward it: one pokes it with its beak, and the other rolls it in an empty can, but the crows crash into a refrigerator and fall in a pan of wet paint.
* A pig slams its head into a fence plank three times, until the plank falls off and the pig runs out of the yard. A rat with a yo-yo string around its neck is pulled back and onto its back when a sheep steps on the string. A goose slaps another goose on the head with its wing.
* Spiders break out of their egg sack, shoot a strand of webbing into the air and sail away in the wind. A rat pulls a spider egg sack and drops it off a ledge to the hay-covered floor where it is picked up in a pig's mouth.
* A horse faints and lands hard on the ground, and a pig faints and lands hard on the ground.
* A goose egg rolls down a rat tunnel, lands on the rat and breaks open covering the rat with goo that apparently smells really bad (the animals in the bar react to the smell). A rat falls into a tattered stove in a garbage dump.
* Two crows are frightened by a scarecrow in a field. A man drops a cleaver that nearly strikes a rat on the ground.
* A piglet squeals and thrashes while in a school desk and the girl who put it there gets in trouble. Animals call a spider many insulting names (creepy, disgusting, hideous). A pig is told that he will be killed and smoked for Christmas dinner.
* A man pours slop (gooey brown mush) into a trough in several scenes, for a pig to eat, which it does and its face and front hooves are covered with the goo; a rat also wallows in it and eats the slop.
* A cow flatulates in a couple of scenes, at one time blowing in the direction of a rat that is consequently thrown off a fence. A rat burps loudly, and a cow drools.

PROFANITY 1 - 2 mild exclamations (bloody, ruddy), name-calling (stupid, hairball, creepy, disgusting, hideous).

SUBSTANCE USE - None.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Pork, friendship, death of a loved one, kindness, patience, livestock farming, caring for others, beauty, extraordinary occurrences, thinking for yourself, being humble, the life of spiders, nocturnal creatures, childhood phases, miracles.

MESSAGE - Friendship can have an extraordinary impact on people. We are better listeners when we are children.

The only downside is that - because of their thoroughness - the site is chock full of spoilers. So you'll have to make your own decision as to whether ruining your sense of surprise is worth being prepared for your kids' inquiries.

If you have impressionable children, bookmark this site now.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:29 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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HOW TO PICK A CAT

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor is considering getting a kitten, and is looking for advice on the selection process.

Well, there are plenty of sites that give advice on doing some quick physical checks, but I'm going to discuss personality.

I'm going to assume here that you want a cat for purposes of phyical interaction, and not one that'll just be a skittish blur that zips away from you at light speed whenever it sees you coming.

My personal preference is to get a cat from a shelter, since - after going through a few days/weeks of living in a smelly wire cage - they tend to really appreciate being given a real home. That, and it's usually cheaper.

The discussion below assumes a shelter setting, so adjust it accordingly if you go to a breeder, pet store, or private owner.

I'm also going to use the word "cat", since feline quality is not necessarily related to age. Sometimes good animals get put up for adoption through no fault of their own. Don't discount the possibility of finding a perfectly suited older animal.

1) Pick a cat that shows an interest in you - Stand in front of the cage and put your finger on the bars. Does the cat come up to you, sniff, rub, and continue to do so? This is a sign of a "people cat" - one that finds humans more interesting than their food bowl. That's a GOOD thing.

2) Dangle a bit of string - Does the cat pounce & play? If so, you'll never be bored again. Another good sign. Cats that ignore string are a drag and not worth having.

3) Pick the cat up and hold it supportively in your arms - It will either squirm and try to get away (some cats don't like being held), or it will be content to enjoy the view. If it snuggles in, lays in your arms like a lump, and starts purring, you probably have a keeper.

4) OPTIONAL - Hold the cat up near other cat cages. Some cats will hiss & spit, others will be indifferent to the presence of other cats. Having an asocial feline isn't a deal breaker, but it will make things a little rougher should you get an additional cat in the future. NOTE: This test is mandatory if you're planning to bring this critter home to a house that already has another cat in it.

That pretty much covers it from my end. Please feel free to leave further advice in the comments.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:27 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT BY ASKING

Whenever you need to get something accomplished, and you're stuck dealing with a low-level flunky (no offense to the flunkies of the world), DON'T ask "How can I get this thing done/changed/removed/approved?". They will say "I don't know" and you will be screwed.

Ask instead: "Who do I need to talk to in order to get this thing done/changed/removed/approved?"

Someone, somewhere ALWAYS has the power to grant your wish. And, since you're letting the flunky shift responsibility for the decision away from themselves, the person you're talking to will ALWAYS happily point you to someone who is either authorized to grant your wish, or someone who has a better idea of who your wish-granter might be.

At some point in your journey, the person you're talking to will answer "I can help you with that".

Repeat as necessary until you get what you want.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:50 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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HOW NOT TO BE NOTICED BY SECURITY WHEN YOU GO THROUGH THE AIRPORT

Blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World posted the handiest links ever for infrequent fliers who are lost in a sea of confusion regarding the latest airline rules on what is and isn't allowed.

The Transportation Security Administration home page.

And the ever-changing list of what you can and can't bring.

You might want to bookmark these.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:34 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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WORD OF WARNING

I got bored.

So I went surfing via randomwwebsite.com

Which was boring.

Mostly corporate crap sites & 404 pages.

But eventually I found a moderately non-boring site, and an intriguing picture that could probably be titled "My First Teddy" (work safe, but hard to explain)

Advice to the young ladies:

Now matter HOW vehemently he promises that your intimate picture will NOT be posted on the internet - he's lying.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:10 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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IF YOU DIALED 911, COULD THEY FIND YOUR HOUSE?

As a worker in the food product delivery industry, my success depends heavily on being able to find the right street and the right house.

Streets are easy - I just look at a map and read the street sign.

The right house... that can get a little tricky. Sometimes I have to pass a house a couple times or even just *guess* if I can't see the house number.

Now, it's not a big deal if your pizza's two minutes later than it could've been.

But what if it's a cop or an ambulance that's trying to spot your domicile? Those two minutes might be a VERY big deal.

Do me a favor. Next time you come home at night, see if you can spot your house number, in the dark, while doing the speed limit on your road.

"But," you say, "that's not fair! If my house light were on, I'd be able to see my house number".

I giggle at that, because half the time, turning the porch light on actually makes it WORSE.

See, with most outside lights, when you turn them on, they'll cast cones of light to the sides, and cones of darkness to the top & bottom. And most outside lights are installed DIRECTLY ABOVE the house number, thus shrouding those numbers in shadow. Even worse, I can't see it even if I shine a flashlight on it, because my flashlight can't compete with the outside light.

Ok, so your house number's invisible. What should you do?

My suggestions, in order of preference:

1) If you have a mailbox by the side of the road, put large, reflective, stick-on numbers on BOTH sides of the box, so that they can easliy be seen by a car coming from EITHER direction.

If you have a flag on the side of your box, make sure it doesn't cover the numbers in either the up or down position.

DON'T put the numbers on the front of the box - by the time a driver sees it, he's already blown by your house & will have to turn around.

2) Put the numbers either just to the left, or just to the right of the door frame. This is the "standard" location for a house number.

3) Put the numbers IN the cone of light your porch light gives off. Be careful here, because if you use raised numbers, they can cast shadows that make them difficult to read.

So maybe now you're sitting there all smug because you have a house number next to your door frame.

Well, kudos to you, but during this happy, festive time of year, PLEASE make sure you don't accidentally cover it up with a wreath, or a raindeer, or a 6-foot inflatable snow globe. I see this (or DON'T see this, as the case may be) all too often. In fact, an errant wreath is what prompted this post.

In short, make sure that your house number is easy to spot under the worst of circumstances, because it may be under the worst of circumstances that you most need your house number to be spotted.

And your pizzas will get there hotter, too.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:20 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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HOW TO GET YOUR KID'S LETTER FROM SANTA ANSWERED

From the USPS web site:

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There are simple steps for families to follow if they are interested in having a "response" from Santa postmarked from the North Pole.

Parents, families or friends helping a child write a letter to Santa should mention some of the child's requests and information in the letter from Santa. Adding a line or two about the child's accomplishments or successes this year is encouraged.

Once the response is written, place the letter in a stamped envelope addressed to the child. "North Pole, AK" should be the return address. Then place the envelope into a larger, properly stamped, First-Class Mail or Priority Mail envelope and mail to:

North Pole Christmas Cancellation
Postmaster
5400 Mail Trail
Fairbanks, AK 99709-9998

North Pole postmark requests must arrive in Fairbanks, AK, before Dec. 15. Parents should send letters by Priority Mail after that date.

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Feel free to copy and re-distribute this post to help spread the word to those who might be interested.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:50 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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