(cross-posted from IMAO)

I'm thinking:

"Does this noose make me look fat?"

or

"I'll give 'em credit for trying, but the Iraqi version of the Village People just seems to be missing that flamboyant spark... possibly because it's so hard to arm-spell Y-M-C-A in Arabic."

Posted by: Harvey at 03:05 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 49 words, total size 1 kb.

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Saddam Hussein has FINALLY been executed for "crimes against humanity". But what exactly were those crimes?

I have a list:

* Deliberately refusing to cooperate with UN resolutions, thus giving the UN unwarranted credibility by acknowledging its existence.

* Saying what the crazy voices inside his head told him to without giving them proper credit - plagiarism is WRONG, people!

* Capitalizing the "i" in iPod.

* Attempting to acquire nuclear weapons without having poofy hair.

* Forcing all women to wear burkhas instead of just the ugly ones.

* Running over puppies with his Segway.

* Killing his political enemies and throwing them in mass graves in CLEAR violation of Iraq's recycling laws.

* Jar-Jar was originally Saddam's idea.

* As was the Star Wars Holiday Special.

Posted by: Harvey at 03:04 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 161 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Thank you for teaching my heart to dance among the stars.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 03:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[200]

Maximum number of words required to describe the history of the universe.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:53 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 02:30 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.

Straight White Eric is complaining about his shaggy head, which got me to thinking about a question for the fellas:

Barber or hair salon?

I'll put in two votes for the barber right away.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:40 AM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
Post contains 46 words, total size 1 kb.

Rachel of Pereiraville took offense to my recent post wherein I said that piano music is boring, so she went and posted a video of her playing piano to prove me wrong.

Of course, she cheated & played Mozart, who - by definition - can't be boring.

Let's see her try to keep me from nodding off while she plays Bach :-P

Posted by: Harvey at 09:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 68 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

You are so easy to love because
We have so much in common
Yet even our differences
Do not conflict, but complement
Like lock and key
Our souls fit

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 09:34 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Washington with rabbit ears)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury announced that production has begun on the new "Things that look like a rabbit but aren't" series. First up: "Steve Martin". Coming soon: "Daffy Duck", and "That 1 Guy".

Posted by: Harvey at 09:32 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 51 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 08:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 96 words, total size 1 kb.

Blogson Andrew of Custos Honor asks:

"when it comes to acts in the bedroom (or elsewhere as the case sometimes is) which is better: lingerie, or just bein' naked from the getgo?"

I vote for naked.

Lingerie is just another darn thing I have to fling across the room in a fit of passion.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:36 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
Post contains 58 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Geesh, you guys. The lingerie is the wrapping on the package. Prolongs the moment. Lengthens the suspense, the excitment as it were. I bet you are one of those guys that prefers bags over wrapping, too. Don't cha? ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at December 29, 2006 02:53 PM (pWX3U)

2 I was halfway through the comment when I thought, "what's wrong with a paper bag?"

Posted by: Phelps at December 29, 2006 03:23 PM (XlvTb)

3 because I'm not a "bag lady". I want to be unwrapped.

Posted by: sticks at December 29, 2006 03:40 PM (5H+a0)

4 either ALL clothes on with minor adjustments or nothing at all. I don't want anything interfering with the beauty of the person and lingerie just gets in the way of that.

Posted by: RSM at December 29, 2006 05:26 PM (IyNwh)

5 I am shocked and disappointed at you people... nothing, or simple lingerie? that is it? those are our choices.... no fun... that is all i have to say about that...

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at December 29, 2006 08:07 PM (u/ILG)

6 I know a certain... *ahem* someone... that likes to taunt me by wearing sexy things beneath her 'church-lady' attire at... (where else?) church. She's genuine "Bad Example" stock! Oh, and I agree with AWTM: Whipped Cream. It's not just for dessert anymore...

Posted by: Bitterroot at December 29, 2006 08:44 PM (GValb)

7 ... I second your vote, Harvey......

Posted by: Eric at December 29, 2006 08:45 PM (NlzwQ)

8 Lingerie? What's that?

Posted by: Bou at December 29, 2006 10:15 PM (KkohC)

9 Whipped cream? Blasphemer! The official dessert/genital topping of the Bad Example Family is Reddi-Wip!

Posted by: Harvey at December 29, 2006 11:38 PM (L7a63)

10 What about a third choice: lingerie that doesn't, say, "get in the way?"

Posted by: Ogre at December 30, 2006 08:48 AM (EsWss)

11 hehe... like Budweiser's Real American Heroes radio commercial says about the guy who invented edible underwear: Because nothing says love like a man with a mouthful of underpants!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at December 30, 2006 11:32 AM (S/IRK)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

(Introduction)

But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 02:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(rubber stamp: lion head)]

Souvenir of "Holy Crap. Lions! Tours"

Posted by: Harvey at 02:32 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 16 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 02:17 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 87 words, total size 1 kb.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Duke Harvey the Foamy of Studley Roger Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

[Hat tip: bloggreatgranddaughter GiGi of GiGi's View of the World]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:33 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

1 The Right Reverend Bloodspite the Ovine of Walk upon Water

Posted by: BloodSpite at December 28, 2006 10:16 AM (ZTGJT)

2 The Very Reverend Madfish the Larger of Bumswick by the Hole

Posted by: Madfish Willie at December 28, 2006 11:59 AM (S/IRK)

3 The Very Homo Herbey the Short of Spank the Monkey

Posted by: Herbey at December 28, 2006 12:01 PM (S/IRK)

4 Grand Duke Dazd the Expensive of Hardy St Thomas

Posted by: Dazd at December 28, 2006 12:24 PM (F87lc)

5 MW - Yeah, I'd expect you around large bum holes :-P

Posted by: Harvey at December 28, 2006 03:31 PM (L7a63)

6 Her Excellency Pamela the Pusillanimous of Midhoop St Giggleswich

Posted by: pam at December 28, 2006 04:32 PM (l6NIn)

7 Pam and I are evidently related! Countess-Palatine Boudicca the Carnivorous of Midhoop St Giggleswich

Posted by: Bou at December 28, 2006 10:07 PM (KkohC)

8 Emperor Spurs the Inexorable of Old Yarkhillshire

Posted by: spurs at December 29, 2006 07:09 AM (3lsFM)

9 Milady the Most Honourable Sticks the Scintillating of Peevish St Victor

Posted by: sticks at December 29, 2006 07:27 AM (5H+a0)

10 Imperial Majesty Rsm the Apocalyptic of Longer Interval (I outrank you all.)

Posted by: RSM at December 29, 2006 08:38 AM (IyNwh)

11 "Reverend Lord Budd the Dulcet of Deep Throcking" I like it.

Posted by: Tennessee Budd at December 29, 2006 11:58 AM (wXSVh)

12 Using my real name, it's even cooler: Count-Palatine Franklin the Carnivorous of Lower Beanthrop in the Hedge

Posted by: Tennessee Budd at December 29, 2006 12:02 PM (wXSVh)

13 Baron Graumagus the Possible of Old Throcking in the Hole I like it, sounds dirty

Posted by: Graumagus at December 29, 2006 12:46 PM (8P21O)

14 Grau, we must be neighbors. Old Throcking-in-the-Hole can't be too far from Deep Throcking.

Posted by: Tennessee Budd at December 29, 2006 12:53 PM (wXSVh)

15 So... Grau & TennBudd are throcking buddies? Man, that's just disturbing... :-/

Posted by: Harvey at December 29, 2006 01:51 PM (L7a63)

16 I get two because I go by two names on line. First I am... Countess TJ the Nefarious of Wimblish upon Frognaze and for my Login I'm... Most Noble and Honourable Shimauma the Undefeated of Studley Roger

Posted by: shimauma at December 29, 2006 03:43 PM (oH+XM)

17 "So... Grau & TennBudd are throcking buddies?" No, Harv..I was on carriers, not submarines. My ex-wife isn't happy: she's "The Very Lady Catherine the Herbaceous of Much Bottom". Heh.

Posted by: Tennessee Budd at December 29, 2006 06:20 PM (tP5eo)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

(Introduction)

...How did I ever end up with you? I think fate must have gambled with destiny and I won. I didn't have to question my love when we first met, my heart already knew. I think that I must have lived an entire lifetime in the moments that I was waiting for you. I do not know what the future holds for us, but I trust you to take me where you want it to go. Wherever you lead, I'll follow. I don't regret one thing that has happened in my past. Every road I went down was one I had to take to get me to you...

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 08:19 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 123 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(blue spot by Washington's head)]

Old habits die hard, and even decades after retiring from the Army, Washington would still frequently turn the air blue with his cursing.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:14 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Here's how it goes.

The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.

The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.

I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.

Good luck.

(see extended entry for more clues) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 08:10 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 91 words, total size 1 kb.

In a post mulling over Christ, Christianity, and Christmas, Bloggranddaughter Mrs_Who of House of Zathras makes this observation:

Some of the greatest artwork of mankind was inspired by the Christian faith (Michelangelo, Raphael, Fra Angelico, and so on.) What kind of artwork do we have today, where Christianity is mocked? Crap. Crap. Crap. And oh yeah, a crucifix in urine, but I won't link to that. That artist sounds like someone who can't get past his teen angst.

I'll agree with the first part. Those Renaissance guys had it goin' on.

Fortunately, I can partially disagree with the second part. There ARE still a few modern artists who don't do "modern art". They have talent, inspiration, optimism, and reverence for the human form.

Most of them can be found at the Quent Cordair Fine Art Gallery.

Dozens & dozens of joyous, life-affirming paintings and sculptures.

Here's just one of my many favorites, "Self-Made Man" by Bobbie Carlyle:

(click to enlarge)

Lots more at the Quent Cordair home page. Go browse around. I promise you'll come away feeling better.

Which is the effect art is SUPPOSED to have.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:52 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 191 words, total size 2 kb.

(Introduction)

[hat tip to blogson _Jon of We Swear for this one]

Cold Feet
---------

Her feet are always so cold when she got into bed.
We play games using body parts to warm them up.
But some parts of her body are always hot.
Not just in bed.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 10:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 52 words, total size 1 kb.