April 28, 2006
Truck Dismount - 3D stick figure in a truck, which you crash into a wall. Again - pain = points.
Both games available here.
And since I'm feeling particularly cruel, here's an earworm for you:
The "Fruity Oaty Bars" commercial, as seen in the movie "Serenity".
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09:48 AM
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I was deeply disappointed to hear that Tony Snow got the job as White House Press Secretary. I can't believe that President Bush overlooked all the many other talented Tonys out there who would've made better picks:
Tony Hawk - Need to dodge a tough question? Just jump the skateboard onto the podium and do a Figure 4 Calf Wrap Flamingo Pretzel Plant Brain Surgeon with a Mute Grab 900 into the press pit. Reporters will be too dazzled, distracted, and/or wounded to ask a follow-up.
Fat Tony D'Amico - Didn't see nothin', and will have the offended reporter quietly piano-wired when no-one's looking. If questioned, will respond "What's a moider?"
Tony Bennett - Political spin is always more convincing when sung to the tune of "Fly Me to the Moon".
Tony Blair - "I'd love to answer that question, but it's tea time, so sod off!
Dr. Phat Tony - Will brutally taser any MSM joker who steps out of line.
Tony Dow - He probably wouldn't be good at dodging questions, but it'd be funny to hear the reporters start all their questions with "Gee, Wally..."
Tony Randall - Tough question? He'll just fake a sinus attack.
Tony the Tiger - Has an inarguable, two-word answer to any question regarding whether Bush's policies will be good for America.
Tony Stewart - "I can't hear your stupid question over the sound of my engine!"
Tony Danza - The only question he'll get is "Did you every 'Danza slap' Alyssa Milano?"
It'd also be cool to have Anthony Hopkins eat the reporters' livers, but he's not technically a "Tony".
Any Tonys I missed?
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09:42 AM
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[NOTE: I'm stealing this one whole from Linus of Pepper of the Earth. While I never actually put this one in Beloved Wife's little mailbox, I really like it because it reminds me of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You", which was the first song I ever dedicated to Beloved Wife - way back when she had just become Beloved Girlfriend for the first time back in 1986.]
Just Add Water
Ingredients:
1 mountain (large)
1 ocean (immense)
2 lovers (uncertain)
Combine elements in prepared basin.
Mix until smooth.
Season to taste.
When the mountain refluxes
And only sand remains
Remove lovers.
Serving size: 2
Linus Gelber - 11/18/2002
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
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09:03 AM
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(click to enlarge)
[(Too much to re-copy - just click to enlarge))
The DNC releases its own currency.
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08:54 AM
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April 27, 2006
Precision Guided Humor Round-up: New Press Secretary
New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: If Dan Rather had a blog, what would he blog about?
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03:12 PM
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She fights and vanquishes in me
and I live and breathe in her
and I have life and being
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
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06:58 AM
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(click to enlarge)
[Term limits for Mayor in Chicago)
After 12 beers, Matty O'Blackfive was struck by a brilliant idea around which to form a new political organization.
After 24 more beers, he stuffed the dollar into a stripper's g-string and forgot it ever existed.
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06:52 AM
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April 26, 2006
The Doublemint Mints Doublemint Twins
or
Discuss
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08:03 PM
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April 25, 2006
Love doesn't make things easier, just worth it.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
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06:44 PM
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[WWW.WHERESGEORGE.COM LOOK TRACK MY JOURNEY!)
How websites were pimped before the invention of comment spam.
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06:41 PM
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the diet rules are relaxed on long drives, everybody knows that calories don't count a hundred miles from home.
It's 100% true, ya know...
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06:37 PM
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Where we need a little help is coming up with a name for this new bakery section in the store.
[...]
The bakery is leaning mostly towards cookies and pastries right now, but could expand to making almost any kind of baked goods.So far the some of the name suggestions are:
Rosemary's Pastries and Pies (Rosemary is the baker)
Pastries and Pies by Rosemary
Heavenly Pastries and Pies
Creekside Baked Goods (We're on a bank right on a large creek. But not quite a river)
Sugars and Starches(One of my goofier suggestions)Anyone have any better ideas? If you make one and my family likes it, I will personally mail you a box of cookies! (Flavor to be determined by the winner.)
Ok, how about:
* I NEED COOKIES!
* Dessert Depot
* Decadent Delights
* Sweet Things
* Pleasureful Pastries
* Eat Dessert First
* Nothing Diet Here
* Baked Bliss
Your turn...
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02:16 PM
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Zephyr of Zephyr's Place
(Not to be confused with her blogcousin TalulaZephyr of Love and Kool-Aid Stains, who is someone entirely different... although I've never actually seen them together, so this could be a Batgirl/Barbara Gordon kinda thing, but let's not jump to any hasty conclusions...)
Let's take a peek:
Traditional sucky first post - pretty much. But you gotta start somewhere. Still I can't help noticing that her tagline is longer than her first post :-)
And that's it. Go over & nag her until she posts something else.
Anyway, Zephyr, you can pick up a Bad Example Family logo from this post, and you may, if you wish, blogroll the rest of the Bad Example Family using the handy blogrolling javascript, although neither is a requirement.
Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.
Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.
Welcome home.
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10:23 AM
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The Other Sister Person of The Other Sister Person
Ok, that's getting shortened to TOSP right now.
Anyway, let's see what she's got:
Traditional sucky first post - I didn't know it was possible to cram THAT much suck into four little words.
A guest post - with nearly as much suck as the first one. I'm glad to see that these ladies have such respect for tradition.
A little glimpse into her life - she works in the Dementia Zone, which is either a hip & trendy clothing store, or some sort of bizarro dimension ruled over by Rod's brother, Todd Serling.
A display of her needlework talents - my fingers are cramping just THINKING about trying to make something like that.
A note to those who are looking for permalinks to her posts, it's the little "#" symbol.
TOSP, you might want to go into your template and change the "#" to the word "permalink" so as to help prevent confusion to random passers-by.
Anyway, TOSP, you can pick up a Bad Example Family logo from this post, and you may, if you wish, blogroll the rest of the Bad Example Family using the handy blogrolling javascript, although neither is a requirement.
Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.
Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.
Welcome home.
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10:10 AM
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So I'm sending someone to rescue her:
(click to enlarge)
Don't know if he'll be putting out the fire or just making it burn hotter.
Anyway, there's more help available here (not safe for insecure men).
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08:41 AM
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April 24, 2006
If I could come back as anything
It would be as one of your tears.
How could I want more
Than to be conceived in your heart,
Born in your eye,
Live on your cheek,
And die on your lips.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]
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08:03 PM
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[(thick, black eyebrows on Washington))
In an alternate universe, the $1 bill contained a portrait of that America's greatest president: Michael Dukakis.
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08:00 PM
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GEBIV wonders about Vietnamese spam
Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn and the Easter Bunny
New Filthy Lie Assignment: What will be on Evil Glenn's next Podcast?
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07:52 PM
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Although Michelle Malkin (whose right to be both a woman and a minority I fully support) has done an excellent job covering the UC Santa Cruz protests against on-campus Army recruiters, she missed the story on the sidelines.
Concerned that soldiers in Iraq might not be getting sufficient "female companionship" from the local burkha-babes, a number of young, enthusiastic, and horizontally-accessible co-eds were on hand to recruit new members for the Army's "Comfort Brigade".
[click to enlarge any picture]
Senior Luv U. Longtime promotes the ambitious goal of the Comfort Brigade, and shows her determination that no soldier should have to go without.
"A lot of organizations exist that will forward care packages to soldiers in need", said Senior Amanda Huginkiss, "but we know darn well that those brave men on the front lines have other, more urgent needs as well, and we won't get off our backs until those needs are met."
Who needs body armor when the Comfort Brigade will gladly take your bullet?
Although many apply, not all are chosen. Only the most nubile and flexible of the volunteers will pass the rigorous screenings.
Junior Ivana B. Laid passes her "perkiness check" with flying colors.
The recruitment drive provoked its own protests, though. Mostly ugly guys with hygiene issues who realized with dawning horror what the loss of the campus's loosest women would mean to them.
"Hey!" shouted this unidentified smelly loser, "they're stealing our sluts!"
Idiots like this were largely ignored, however, as most people preferred to ogle the Comfort Brigade Veteran's Parade.
Comfort Brigade Veterans stand proudly behind their service record.
Best of all, the Comfort Brigade's activities completely erased the efforts of the UCSC radical anti-war nuts by actually causing an increase in on-campus recruiting.
Campus security holds back the throng of eager new Army volunteers, and one confused lesbian who thought she was in line at the Tofu Hut.
But with all the hype and breathless promises flying around during the Comfort Brigade's recruitment drive, the discerning reader will still pause to ask the most important question of all: Can the Comfort Brigade really bring all the spine-tingling satisfaction that our soldiers so desperately need?
Well...
Just ask #1535.
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05:21 PM
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April 23, 2006
Amid the gloom and travail of existence suddenly to behold a beautiful being... and as instantaneously to feel an overwhelming conviction, that with that fair form, our destinies must be entwined... this is love.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]
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05:12 PM
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