About six weeks ago, Frank J. decided to make IMAO a group humor blog, and he asked me to be a member of the editorial staff.

I was honored. I was flattered. I was scared shitless.

I knew I could write IMAO-worthy, over-the-top humor pieces. I *have* the talent. The only question was - could I do it 4-5 times a week?

Maybe.

I was already doing 2 straight-up humor pieces a week in the form of Alliance Precision Guided Humor and Filthy Lie Assignments. But the rest... did I *really* have the self-discipline to create my own funny on a near-daily basis? And could I do it without completely neglecting Bad Example, Alliance HQ, and - most importantly - my relationship with Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite?

Over the last 6 weeks, the answer appears to be "yes and no". I *do* have the ability to crank out regular funny bits, and I still fulfill my Alliance obligations, and I still manage to pay enough attention to TNT to keep her reasonably happy, but posting at Bad Example has taken a serious hit. By the time I finish blogging for everyone else, I don't have the energy left to do much at my own site.

This disturbs me.

I really enjoy what I've been able to do at Bad Example - the linky-love to my blogfamily, the thoughtful pieces of near-philosophy, the teasing posts, the straight-up humor bits... but there just hasn't been time to do all I want lately.

I'm still not sure what to do about it.

Currently I'm contemplating trying to farm out some of my Alliance duties. That would help.

I *don't* want to drop IMAO. Mostly because I have a bigger audience there. It's like having the chance to do stand-up at the Hollywood Bowl. It's a rush, and I love it. And after initially receiving a somewhat icy reception, I've managed to make peace with my critics, and I *do* get a fair amount of love and encouragement in the comments these days.

At least when my entries deserve it, which - I'll be honest - they don't always. Comedy's not easy. Some days I'm in the zone, some days... not so much.

But mostly I think I do it for the challenge. When I first started blogging, I had not even the vaguest hope of being able to write "the good stuff". Now... it's a daily test to see what I'm REALLY made of.

It's invigorating. It makes me feel alive.

So now that I've gotten the notice from Frank saying that IMAO is shutting down, I think I'm going to try to keep the funny going over here at Bad Example.

I must admit I was rather stunned to receive an e-mail from Frank saying that he had sold his domain name and shut down his blog...

Ok, I was a little pissed off, too.

Ok, MORE than a little.

But in the end, I remind myself of why I agreed to join IMAO in the first place. Yes, part of it was taking my shot at blogger fame, but another part - and I believe the GREATER part - was that I *like* Frank J., and I wanted to be able to help him reach his dream of getting his books published. He's done more for me since I started blogging than I have time to put into words. He's given me a lot of support & respect over the months, and I wanted to return the favor to the best of my ability.

So now he's made his choice to give up blogging for a cash settlement.

I understand.

He's got a fiancee now, and SarahK deserves to be the main focus of his life. If he can make more money by selling his domain than he can by using it. I'm not going to hold it against him.

Believe me, I understand the importance of giving a good woman the love she deserves.

So I'll wish Frank the best of luck in his non-blogging pursuits, and if he needs my help for a future project, I have his back. No questions asked.

Meanwhile, I guess it means more funny for the blogfamily, and more quality time for the woman who is my world.

I'll make the most of what I've got, and I think that - in the end - I'm still coming out ahead.

Thanks for the memories, Frank.

UPDATE: Wow. Didn't take them long to move in...

UPDATE 4-2-05: Well, they moved out again. My thoughts about are in this post.

As for everything I said above the "Frank sold out" section of the post, that's all true, and that still all applies. Fortunately, blogson GEBIV of There's One Only has agreed to help do some Alliance stuff, so I may be able to post more stuff here after all.

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(Introduction)

If all those glittering monarchs that command the servile quarters of this earthly ball should tender in exchange their shares of land, I would not change my fortunes for them all. Their wealth is but a counter to my coin... the world is but theirs; but my beloved is mine.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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Carnival of Cordite #6 is up at Resistance Is Futile.

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(A Guest Post by blogless Peter, for Carnival of Cordite)

This week we are going to discuss long guns for home and personal defense. There are many reasons why a person would choose a long gun instead of a handgun, the most obvious being that some locations have Draconian laws about the ownership of handguns by civilians. A strong second reason is that some long guns are nearly impossible for a child, too young to understand, to shoot. In a later installment we'll talk about the fact that it is very difficult to childproof a gun kept in a ready state but quite easy to gunproof a child who is strong - meaning old - enough to work the action.

There is a bewildering array of long guns. For simplicity's sake I shall lump them into three categories: full sized hunting and battle rifles, carbines shooting handgun rounds, and shotguns. Forget the full sized rifles for defense. Besides the fact that most (not all) full sized rifles are big and cumbersome and the scope sights that most wear are useless at inside-the-house or -store range, the bullets penetrate too much. No matter your religious beliefs, or lack thereof, you should know that there are evil spirits that possess any bullet that overpenetrates. That bullet will always shoot right through the bad guy and then the evil spirit takes over and sends the bullet through your single most expensive household item, the children's rooms, four walls, your neighbor's house, any handy baby carriages and a station wagon full of nuns before lodging in the Mayor's car.

The shotguns and carbines firing handgun rounds are, on the other hand very useful as home and store guns, each having some real advantages for us good guys, and gals.

We'll start with shotguns. The biggest single advantage to a shotgun as a defense weapon is the intimidation factor. The hole in the barrel is HUGE and very scary to look down. Since the very best possible outcome in a defense situation is the bad guy fainting at the sight of the homeowner licking his or her lips in happy anticipation of the carnage to come, and coming-to only when the police have him hooked up, this is no small advantage. If we survive a defense situation, we've won. If we survive without a shot being fired, we've WON BIG!

Shotguns come in single shot, double barrel, pump action and semiautomatic. All I can say about a single shot is that it's better than no gun at all.

When we get to the double barrels the possibilities start opening up. My home defense shotgun is an old fashioned short-barreled double barrel with exposed hammers. I've practiced reloading from the butt cuff full of five more shells so that I'm not at a disadvantage. After two shots of 12 gauge anybody that's not down is ducking, I've plenty of time to reload. The biggest advantage to a double barrel with exposed hammers is that it can sit for years, hammers down on loaded chambers with tape over the muzzles, covered in dust and cobwebs yet ready to go just by earring back those hammers. Another advantage is that the double barrel action is shorter than the semiautomatic or pump. My double is about five inches shorter than a pump with the same length, a real advantage in the house.

The disadvantage is the long practice required to reload fast enough if there are more than two bad guys. That's why most people prefer pumps or semis. Another disadvantage is that there is a learning curve on handling two different triggers. When I switched from a pump to a double I discovered that no matter how hard I pulled on that front trigger the second barrel still wouldn't shoot. It took a lot of practice to make the shift from front to back trigger automatic. The last disadvantage is that it's really hard to find an exposed-hammer double. To my knowledge only Norinco makes them anymore. I'm reluctant to recommend a gun made by virtual slave-laborers of the ChiCom government. Then again, slaves with something to do are better treated than slaves with nothing to do.

I don't like the idea of the internal-hammer doubles for defense, in order to be ready, the strikers have to be cocked over loaded chambers. That makes me nervous.

The autoloader has some advantages, most notably the softer recoil and the fact that we don't have to DO anything to be ready for the next shot. The normal magazine capacity is four or five shots although most shotguns have a wooden or plastic plug in the magazine limiting the capacity to three rounds, including one in the chamber. This is also true for pumps. This plug is easily removed and should be. The only reason the plug is there is because of federal laws on hunting waterfowl. There is a real good chance that we'll never have to defend our homes or businesses from armies of rampaging ducks. Watch out for the geese, though.

Still, check the local laws before throwing that plug away. I don't know all the laws everywhere. If you fall afoul of some local law I've never heard of, I'm afraid the 'Peter told me to defense' might not work.

The only disadvantage to the autoloaders is that most of them require adjustment when going from standard loads to magnum loads. This is more theoretical than real. The standard loads are plenty powerful enough.

The pump guns are what most people think of when the defensive or fighting shotgun is mentioned. Advantages include simplicity, comparatively low price, plenty of magazine capacity, and the ability to shoot any ammunition that is the right size. An advantage that many folks don't know about is that if the gun is cocked they can't work the action without either pulling the trigger or hitting the little action release button. This means that we can have a loaded magazine and an empty chamber and small children can't blow up the house. That's kind of nice.

There are many makes. You'll never go wrong with Winchester, Remington or Marlin.

Much is made of that intimidating ca-chunk sound of a round being chambered in a pump. Any sensible person will run away upon hearing this sound. Trouble is, sensible people don't commit many life-threatening crimes. Do yourself a favor. Get you behind something substantial before betting your life on this sound. It's fine when it works, awful when the bad guy pegs a couple of quick shots at the sound.

In the last few years there has been some real advances in ammunition for the defensive shotgun. Primarily due to increasing numbers of women and some smaller statured minority men in police forces, the ammunition companies have developed rounds that offer plenty of power at typical defensive ranges, yet lower recoil. These rounds are variously known as 'tactical', 'managed recoil' or 'low recoil' depending on the ammo company, but they all offer the same thing. They are standard buckshot or slug loads which travel at a somewhat lower velocity than the high speed hunting loads that we're used to.

The new buckshot loads are ideal for defense. The slug loads? Even the lower-recoil slug loads have too much penetration to use in the house. The slug is mainly used to penetrate car bodies or barricades. The instances where a civilian can shoot at a car are few and far between. The civilian shooting at a barricaded suspect is even rarer. The rural homeowner has a use for the slug loads, the urban or suburban homeowner can live quite well without them. Use your judgement.

In addition to a five shot butt cuff, I have a cheap cloth and elastic cartridge belt loaded with a variety of ammunition, including a few slug loads. They are not in the gun or butt cuff. If the bad guy is so far away or so well barricaded that slugs are indicated, well, I ought to have plenty of time to change ammo.

At typical inside-the-house ranges, the larger birdshot loads are quite effective, yet less destructive to the house in case of a miss. Many homeowners like the first round in their gun to be a duck load for that very reason and I can't fault the logic. If there is a chance that a warning shot will scare the bad guy off, the birdshot penetrates a lot fewer walls. If the bad guy is so close that a warning shot won't work, he's close enough that the tight pattern will be as effective as any other load.

There is another very interesting option available. An ammunition company named Sellier & Bellot that makes rubber buckshot and ball loads. At near-contact range, these loads are lethal. At across-the-room, the ball-loads will knock a guy down, but - unless we are real unlucky - not kill. The advantage is obvious. Our object isn't to reduce the population but to save the lives of our families and ourselves. If I can do that without killing, so much the better. There is also the simple fact that if I kill or wound a bad guy, the LEAST that will happen is that I'll have a long, uncomfortable time before the Grand Jury. There's a good chance that I will be indicted and I will almost certainly be sued in civil court as well. If the first shot I fire is a shot that is normally non-lethal it will go a long way toward making my good guy status clear to all who hold my future in their hands. We will explore surviving the aftermath of a shooting in further detail in a future Carnival.

In the past few years it's become popular to outfit defensive shotguns with all kinds of sh..., um stuff. Pistol grips with no buttstocks, magazines that hold a year's worth of ammo, lasers, lights, sirens, beer-taps, and dancing girls. Most of these modifications are horsesh..., um fertilizer. Those super-long magazine tubes add nothing useful. If we can't do it with four or five rounds, we can't do it. Furthermore, those extra-long magazine springs have a tendency to kink, tying up the gun. That sexy-looking pistol grip is gonna bust you square in the beezer if you hold the shotgun up where you can use the sight. And if you don't use the sight, you don't have a weapon - you just have an extremely loud and destructive noisemaker. Shooting from the hip is for TV cops. I know a guy that tried one of those buttstockless pistol grip shotguns - fortunately, at the shooting range. He missed trying to shoot from the hip so he reloaded and held it up so he could see the front bead. Knocked himself plumb out cold. Y'all think I'm woofin', try it yourself. I'm not gonna. I never did get as purty as Momma wanted me to be in the first place... I sure don't need my face rearranged on top of that.

There are three - and only three - useful modifications to a defense shotgun: a decent recoil pad (if it doesn't come with one); a high visibility front bead (if it doesn't come with one); and, lastly, one of those little flashlight mounts. The worst thing in the world is to blow away your spouse during a late night bathroom trip or blasting a drunken Harvey showing up in the wrong house for a comment party. We don't shoot at noises, we don't shoot at shapes.

Here is a trick. If we are awakened in the middle of the night, don't go charging out. Grab your shootin' iron, get BEHIND the bed and loudly and clearly repeat the following sentences. "Who is there? I have a gun! I'm calling the police!" Unless other family members are in danger, stay there. The bad guys can take everything you own, the deductible on your homeowner's insurance is still far cheaper than the legal costs of even the most justified shooting. This can be enraging but, right or wrong, it's the world we live in. Some jurisdictions allow the use of deadly force in defense of property, some don't. Some people's ethical standards or religions allow the use of deadly force in defense of property, some don't. While my state allows the use of force to protect property, I figure I'll never go wrong using deadly force as the very last resort. During my life, I've stuck myself into some very stupid predicaments due to my somewhat-less-than-genius-like choices on how I made my living. But I'm retired now. Anybody wanting trouble has to bring it to me. They'll get mighty hungry waiting for me to come to them.

Before this turns into a book, let's discuss the third option: the carbine shooting handgun-cartridges.

There are two main options, the little semiautomatic Marlin Camp Carbine, and the lever-actions in handgun cartridges like .38 Special/.357 Mag, .44 Special/.44 Mag and .45 Colt.

Those who were here for last week's Carnival might wonder why I recommend that beginners should stay away from autoloaders in handguns but make no such statements about long guns. Simple. The carbine or shotgun, being longer, makes us much less likely to lose control of where that muzzle is pointing. While there is still a somewhat increased possibility of an unintended loud noise, we're much less likely to hit someone we care about. We still need to drill a little more on safety, but it's an acceptable risk.

The Marlin Camp Carbine is a nifty little weapon. It comes in nine millimeter, 40 S&W and 45 ACP, all - with the right ammo choice - proven combat rounds. Advantages include: much lighter recoil than the low recoil shotgun loads; muzzle blast that won't damage one's hearing nearly as much as shotguns; and the ease with which they can be shot with acceptable combat accuracy. Disadvantages include being a bit more fussy than some other shootin' irons as to what ammo it will digest. They are short, light, and easy to shoot. Maintenance is fairly simple and straightforward. Not a bad choice at all. It's an even better choice for the man or woman who also has a pistol in one of those cartridges.

Rule number one of gunfighting is to have a gun - any gun. If you don't have a gun, you can't go to a gunfight.

Rule number two of gunfighting is that the only reason handguns exist is to buy time to get to a long gun.

I can't find the Camp Carbine on Marlin's Website, it may be discontinued. I still see them in gun shops so, if this is your choice, best move quickly.

I happen to love the little lever-action carbines in handgun rounds. Marlin's 1894, Winchester's 94, Rossi has one, and there are several others. There is a Marlin 1894 within arms reach as I sit in my little study. I can hit as accurately at one hundred yards with it as I can twenty-five yards with my revolver. This is comforting, since I live in the country, where the nearest patrol car might more than ten minutes away. It's even more comforting knowing that two-legged varmints aren't the only challenge. I live where rabid critters are a very real problem. Two-legged or four-legged, even with the brush, trees, and rolling contours of the land, if I can see it, I can hit it. My choice is the .38/.357 Mag model, primarily because that's my go-to handgun cartridge. An arcane fact of gun lore is that the longer the barrel, the higher the velocity of the same cartridge. Depending on the load, the carbines hit as hard at fifty to one-hundred yards as the same load hit at powder-burn range. In a close range defensive situation this means a bigger hole in the bad guy. Counter-intuitively, this doesn't mean the bullet will have a lot more penetration. That .38 Special, +P, lead hollow-point will actually penetrate a little less from the carbine than from a revolver. It expands more, so the bullet hits more of what it's tearing up, and it stops a little quicker.

A lever-action can actually be fired - accurately - just as quickly as a semiauto. With a little practice, you can learn to work the lever in the time it takes to recover from recoil and get your sight picture back.

A little known - and seldom thought-about - advantage of the lever-action carbine is psychological - it's a good-guy's gun. If you end up having to use one in self-defense, it's the conditioning of everyone we will be dealing with in the aftermath - cops, prosecutors, grand juries, and (if it goes that far) judges and juries - to think of it that way. We've all grown up on Roy Rogers, Marshall Dillon, the Rifleman - all those guys. The guy in the white hats all had lever-action carbines. The villains we grew up with all had handguns, AK-47's, sawed-off shotguns, and the like.

It's a small thing, but it can be the difference between Justifiable Homicide and Manslaughter.

Next week? How about how to avoid a gunfight and what to do if we can't?

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Over at Drunken Wisdom

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That title's going to need some explanation, so you better see Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks, since I have to head into work and don't have time to explain right now.

The only thing I have to add at the moment is that I can't believe that Grau isn't saying anything about the yummy, cleavage-revealing top TNT was wearing.

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1 I wasn't saying it... THINKING it, but not saying it

Posted by: Graumagus at March 31, 2005 10:32 AM (wKRrT)

2 ... TNT sure knew how to rock a pool table... she and I cleaned those guys clocks...

Posted by: Eric at March 31, 2005 02:47 PM (YlwMq)

3 TNT looked very nice... OTOH - I wasn't looking at cleavage, just at what she was wearing. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at March 31, 2005 02:48 PM (nAfYo)

4 Teresa, what IS it with you and not staring at women's chests? :-)

Posted by: Harvey at March 31, 2005 05:18 PM (ubhj8)

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Lie reminder, Linky stuff, round-up and new PGH all at Alliance HQ

My PGH at IMAO

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(Introduction)

You know you're in love when you think about that person, and your stomach gets all fuzzy and squishy.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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Are congruent with those of Linus of Pepper of the Earth, who describes his as follows:

It was like this, see. March came in like a lion. Then it clawed the furniture like a lion. Then it mauled around like a lion, took a rest like a lion, and decided to go out like a lion. So it’s been all over lions. And no, this sudden spate of 50° business on March 30th does not qualify for lamb status, April is the lamb, you don’t get to change your mind and suddenly be all lamby. You made your den, go lie in it.

I *do* so admire that man's gift for turning a phrase.

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(Introduction)

Love is when the woman of your dreams becomes a reality and sleep stops being a priority.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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The secret to a happy marriage?

As your married life progresses, you will become privy to your wife's deepest fears and vulnerabilities. This knowledge carries with it the power to say something viciously cruel that will cause her unspeakable pain.

During the course of your marriage, your wife will - from time to time - say something thoughtless and brutal to you, and you will be tempted to exercise your power.

Forbear.

Always.

No exceptions.

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1 For the record, TNT & I aren't fighting. I was just thinking about Frank & Sarah getting married & one of the lessons I learned during the early years of our marriage.

Posted by: Harvey at March 30, 2005 03:58 AM (ubhj8)

2 Glad you commented on that. I read this and thought, 'uh oh'. And you are right. Good advice.

Posted by: Boudicca at March 30, 2005 06:18 AM (z7nbM)

3 Great advice!

Posted by: oddybobo at March 30, 2005 07:28 AM (6Gm0j)

4 Really, really, really good advice. You're a good man, Harv.

Posted by: songstress7 at March 30, 2005 09:32 AM (jEGU/)

5 Very sagely advice, there is much wisdom in those words.

Posted by: Contagion at March 30, 2005 10:22 AM (Q5WxB)

6 You are a very wise man Harvey. Oh, and that advice goes both ways! I think it's called mutual respect. ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at March 30, 2005 11:01 AM (nAfYo)

7 That's part of the Communication theory known as The Social Penetration Theory. The authors of it are Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor, and the point of it is that people have layers like onions, and the more you get to know someone, the more layers of their onion you peel away or slice through. And the second to middle layer is deeply held fears and fantasies. Almost just like you said. Have you ever studied any communication theory? I imagine you really, really, really really liked the social penetration theory if you did. Y'know, knowing you.

Posted by: Joey at March 30, 2005 11:18 AM (IECm3)

8 "Forbear. Always. No exceptions." Many times when I'm pissed, my first, second and third responses would be ones that would permanently scar my relationship with my wife. Needless to say, I have yet to let any of those responses slip out. I never will, either. Too bad more people don't follow this advice.

Posted by: physics geek at March 30, 2005 01:04 PM (Xvrs7)

9 Heh. Joey said "penetration" Actually, I'm not familiar with the particulars of Altman & Taylor's work, although it sounds vaguely familiar, so I may have skimmed across it somewhere or seen a summary in a self-help or relationship book.

Posted by: Harvey at March 30, 2005 01:38 PM (tJfh1)

10 One must always wait until one is by themself, then go ahead a malign the spouse to the plants. Plants never, ever talk.

Posted by: Machelle at March 30, 2005 05:42 PM (w25Es)

11 Wow. How true. Why do we need Dr. Phil?

Posted by: Spear Shaker at March 30, 2005 10:46 PM (Uk6wh)

12 Good advice. We of the female persuasion do, unfortunately, have a natural shrewishness from time to time - we pick at others even though we know better. Brian is never ever ever cruel. In the 8 years I've known him, he's never disappointed me. I can't say that about anyone else. hln

Posted by: hln at March 31, 2005 09:30 PM (V04ml)

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Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland is sick to death of his current crappy bloghost, 20six.

If you're a Munuvian, please give him a "YAY!" at Ellis Island.

I left a link to one of his posts at the nomination entry, so you can check him out if you're not familiar with his work.

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Over at Drunken Wisdom

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Over at IMAO

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Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! left this comment on my original atheist prayer post:

Who does an atheist pray to?

Harv, you're an agnostic. You don't know if God exists or not. You don't deny He exists.

Regarding the first part, as I said in the original post, I will pray to the empty, Godless sky.

Regarding the second part, I'm not an agnostic. I do deny God's existence. Or at least, I would if I were asked. I'm not an evangelical atheist out looking for converts, so I don't usually bring it up.

As to whether I "know", that brings up epistemological niceties about what knowledge is, which I'd rather avoid. Suffice it to say that I know it as well as I can be said to know anything about ANY complex abstract phenomenon. That is, the absense of God causes fewer contradictions in my personal knowledge base than a belief in him would.

As to WHY I don't believe... that's another VERY complex topic that I'm not fool enough to try condensing into a single post. It took a good 10 years or reading, study, and conversation to get to the point where I felt comfortable saying "none of the above". Even if I could reproduce it all, it wouldn't necessarily be persuasive, because that particular set of data was only sufficient to convince someone with my personal life experiences. If you've lived a different life, you'd probably need more or different information to reach the same conclusion. Since, as I said, I'm not evangelical, I have neither the time nor the desire to discover and deliver that critical mass of information for anyone else. That's a personal choice.

For informational purposes only, the VERY short answer is this: I looked at THE fundamental question:

Where did the universe come from?

Most people answer that question with "God created it", and if asked "Where did God come from?" they'll answer "Nowhere. God was just always there".

Which is my answer to that original question.

The universe was just always there.

All the matter and energy that currently exist have always existed, just changing in form and/or location over time.

And, realistically speaking, outside of a window of a few million years in one direction or another, I have no need to know the specifics about that form. So I don't waste a lot of thought on it. I know the laws of physics here and now in this part of the galaxy, and that's plenty to get me by. The rest is just the rest, and the niggling details are Stephen Hawking's problem, not mine.

Again. Not persuasive. Not by a long shot. It wasn't meant to be.

Getting back to the subject of atheistic prayer, The Humble Devildog of Random Firing of Neurons asked me a very good question on Saturday night while we were out enjoying scotch & cigars:

WHY would an atheist bother praying?

I'll toss out a parable here. If, for example, Nick were to have asked me, "Harv, my wife is sick. Would you please flip a coin until it comes up heads three times in a row so that she'll get better?" I wouldn't answer, "Nick, that's just coinist foolishness. I don't believe there's any relationship between coin-flipping and a woman's health."

No, I'd grab a quarter & start flipping. Why? Because I like Nick, I know he's suffering, and if there's something simple that I can do to make him feel better, I'll do it.

I'd probably even let him keep the quarter afterwards.

I suppose that, technically, this attitude towards prayer makes me as bad as the Pharisees - doing my prayers in public to be seen by men. God probably just rolls his eyes at such foolishness, and I won't win any favor in his eyes.

But then again, my intention is to please those I care about, and if an atheist's prayer will do that, then - to paraphrase Matthew 6:5 - "Verily I say unto you, I have my reward."

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(Introduction)

It's always more than sex to sleep with you.
Don't get me wrong; I like to tangle sheets
and hungry scents and taste the salty dew
of glistening sweat where heavy brow meets
soft eyelids closed, relaxed. I'll kiss them, too,
and sample other slow seduction sweets.
But I run out of juice, won't thump my chest
and say I don't, and so I like the rest:
I like to lie, arms wrapped around you, deep
in comfortable darkness where the moon projects
odd patterns on the walls. I want to keep
you safe and warm as winter licks our necks.
You mumble love and slowly fall asleep;
these moments worth much more than simple sex.

[stolen from Musings of Brian J. Noggle]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: What are some signs that the terrorists are losing? due by 8pm CDT Wednesday, March 30th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

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Over at IMAO

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Over at Drunken Wisdom

Posted by: Harvey at 06:59 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Bloggrandaughter Army Wife says it best:

"...just give each other a soft place to fall."

Whether you're celebrating joy, coping with tragedy, or doing anything in between, if you make this the golden rule of your marriage, you'll do fine.

Congratulations Frank J. and Sarah K.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:36 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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