April 28, 2005
TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan't make you love me any more by giving myself away like this - But oh my dear, I can't be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:24 PM
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1
... GOD but I miss your whippings...
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 11:24 PM (ubhj8)
2
Okay, now, these types of notes, reek of wussy-ness. Men, women don't like wusses. Women can sense wussy-ness quicker than a deep dish pizza is discovered at a weight-watcher's convention. Unlike the pizza, women are turned off by wussy-ness, so avoid it at all costs.
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at April 28, 2005 11:51 PM (Pg2Ju)
3
Missing you wouldn't be so bad if you'd left your sister and best friend to fill in.
Posted by: Peter at April 28, 2005 11:59 PM (myM+6)
4
if your gonna wuss out, you gotta do it right:
I can not express in words
The way that I feel about you
From the moment I met you
I began to realize
how much you meant
Every time we talked
I fell a little more
The sound of your voice
Like the sound
Of angels singing
But much sweeter to me
Beauty like yours
I have not before seen
Your eyes like fire
Your lips soft and full
Your smile warms me
The way you
Make me feel
I have not felt it
For anyone else
I only wish that I
Could be there with you
Instead of stuck here
On the other side of the world
There is only one word
That can come close
Only one sentence
I know to say
I love you
And IÂ’m not
going to stop
I will wait for you
I wonÂ’t let you down
For how can love
Be wrong?
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at April 29, 2005 12:07 AM (Pg2Ju)
5
Awww, how sweet. blech.
I too thought these things were too mushy. And combining my loss with my bitter sarcasm is what caused me to begin the "naughtiness" here.
Basically, he puts up a mushy thought, then we stomp on it. It's fun!
Posted by: _Jon at April 29, 2005 08:07 AM (uHRYR)
6
Would it be bad of me to say that all this mushiness made my private parts mushy and stuff
(Followed your blog from the comment party, hope it's okay to come back and visit)
Posted by: Alekx at April 29, 2005 11:31 AM (UfE7F)
7
Alekx - always glad to have new folks chiming in. Just remember there's a $10 cover charge and a two drink minimum ;-)
_Jon - Uh, right. I've read YOUR shit. Your happy sappy crappy makes me look like Sam Kinison yelling about his ex-wife :-P
Posted by: Harvey at April 29, 2005 06:42 PM (ubhj8)
8
"squeal of pain"? That made my morning...
Posted by: pam at May 01, 2005 08:38 AM (l6NIn)
9
well since I ain't got any money you are going to have to put up with me dancing naked on the tables and having tattoo contests.
As for the two drink minimum I think I can get someone to buy me a couple shots of tequilla.
Posted by: Alekx at May 01, 2005 01:24 PM (ShLXz)
10
Stand back folks... tequilla monsters stocking Harvey at the party - now kissin' up to Alekx & trying to light her tatts on fire! Sweet day in the morning! What is in the air these days people?
Posted by: Dorko at May 01, 2005 04:42 PM (TmTUS)
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BLOGGER QUESTION
Does anyone know how to make that little pencil thing appear in the footer of a Blogger post?
Posted by: Harvey at
10:05 AM
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Posted by: Ogre at April 28, 2005 10:08 AM (/k+l4)
2
type #h<....like I freaking know...I can't even link
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 28, 2005 10:42 AM (IOfXi)
3
I save my log in (remember log in) and it stays up there for me.
Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 10:50 AM (PjqiK)
4
Spin around, say, "I break with thee" three times, then throw dog poopie on their shoes.
Posted by: Ogre at April 28, 2005 11:00 AM (/k+l4)
5
It sometimes is there and other times it's not but I'll figure it out one way or another.
BTW, your right column is getting cut off.
Cindy
Posted by: firstbrokenangel at April 28, 2005 11:15 AM (PEKrh)
6
Cindy - in my left sidebar near the top is a button labeled "view 800x600". Click that & see if it helps.
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 11:59 AM (tJfh1)
7
When you log into blogger you need to get to your webpage from your blogger home page.
The little template things at the top, one says my web page or something like that. Launch your blog from there and the pencil thingie shows up.
Posted by: Machelle at April 28, 2005 12:17 PM (ZAyoW)
8
yea, what they all said...
Posted by: Contagion at April 28, 2005 01:54 PM (Q5WxB)
9
Well, not only do you need to login, but you also need to go to "change settings" on the dashboard, and under "Basic" make sure "Show quick editing on your blog" is set to Yes. That gives you (only) the pencil. If it doesn't show up after doing that and saving your settings and republishing, just refresh a couple of times. It will come up.
Posted by: caltechgirl at April 28, 2005 02:53 PM (EtZVy)
Posted by: That 1 Guy at April 28, 2005 10:39 PM (HoSBk)
11
It's like a beer, only different.
Posted by: Ogre at April 29, 2005 10:44 AM (/k+l4)
12
I would love to have a beer right now.
EVERYONE PUT DOWN YOUR PENCILS!!!
Posted by: Dave S. at April 29, 2005 03:45 PM (I15ul)
13
I do, but I'm not tellin'! :-P
Btw....MAKE YOUR BLOG REMEMBER ME!!! >:-|
Posted by: Pam at April 29, 2005 04:34 PM (qLN6p)
14
Pam - try clicking the permalink link to leave a comment instead of the comment link. I've heard that sometimes helps.
And check that your browser is allowing my cookie.
Outside of that, I have no clue. I can't even make this thing remember ME :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 29, 2005 06:53 PM (ubhj8)
15
I bet my browser would remember your cookies if they were chocolate chip! :-P
Posted by: Pam at May 01, 2005 04:13 PM (tXsjj)
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AND I WOULD'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT, TOO, IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THAT MEDDLING KID!
Ok, I told nothing but lies about the
Chicago Blogmeet. Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom
tells the REAL story.
Now kiss my ring, bitches!
Posted by: Harvey at
07:06 AM
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1
Are you sure it's your
ring you want me to kiss, Harv?
Posted by: Susie at April 29, 2005 12:40 AM (IPJ6q)
2
I never said I was talking about the ring on my finger ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 29, 2005 06:37 PM (ubhj8)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
[notez bien: I'm stealing this one whole from Linus of Pepper of the Earth. While I never actually put this one in Beloved Wife's little mailbox, I really like it because it reminds me of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You", which was the first song I ever dedicated to Beloved Wife - way back when she had just become Beloved Girlfriend for the first time back in 1986.]
Just Add Water
Ingredients:
1 mountain (large)
1 ocean (immense)
2 lovers (uncertain)
Combine elements in prepared basin.
Mix until smooth.
Season to taste.
When the mountain refluxes
And only sand remains
Remove lovers.
Serving size: 2
Linus Gelber - 11/18/2002
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
12:38 AM
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1
If Moutain and Ocean are unavailable, you can use 2 mangos, 1 peach, and 1 whole cucumber as substitution. Make sure both mangos are firm with a sligh give, and that the peach is fresh . . . Just how far can we go with these? If I go much farther it'll become x-rated . . .
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at April 28, 2005 01:53 AM (Pg2Ju)
2
please don't worry about X-rating. Harvey's site is already blocked at most of the cafe's I've been to.
He's only home viewing safe and only when my son's not around.
Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 06:29 AM (ht2RK)
3
Geeze, can't imagine the hearburn from a recipe like that...
Posted by: _Jon at April 28, 2005 07:47 AM (uHRYR)
4
Carnival of Recipes entry
Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 02:07 PM (PjqiK)
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ELSEWHERE
Some stuff
at IMAO
Filthy Lie by Friday stuff, Linky stuff, round-up stuff, & new PGH assignment stuff at Alliance HQ.
Posted by: Harvey at
12:30 AM
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April 27, 2005
IT'S A BOY!
And WHAT a boy!
Blogless Peter, who's been writing terrific gun-related posts (and several other goodies which you can find in his category) has thrown caution & common sense to the wind and started his own blog:
Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack
Love that name. Sounds like he should have the building next to Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon with that moniker.
Let's take a look at what my swaddling-wrapped baby boy has posted:
He forgoes the traditional sucky first post in favor of the less-sucky (ok, completely non-sucky) "about me" type post. This line strikes me funny:
Thinking of Harv as a Blogfather is difficult though, being as how I'm older than he is.
Don't worry about it, Peter, half my dang blogfamily is older than I am. Ain't no big deal :-)
Next he does some thoughtful analysis on strategies for taking out Iran (if & when it becomes necessary). Very well written & cogently argued.
I'm gonna LOVE reading his stuff on a regular basis. It's going to be a better blogosphere now that Peter isn't sneaking around in people's comments, wasting good writing where the virtual sun don't shine.
... um... this is the part of the post where I usually invite the new kid to pick up a logo & blogroll the Bad Example Family. However, since I volunteered to do Peter's blog-decorating for him (and maybe teach him a few html tricks along the way), I'll just skip to the big finish:
All you Bad Example dogs go sniff Peter's butt & say "Howdy".
And Peter...
Welcome Home.
Oh yeah... The best part... I caught him before anyone left a comment using Blogger, so he's pure Haloscan from the get-go.
Posted by: Harvey at
10:02 PM
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1
Thaks for the welcome. Good thing I couldn't stand myself and showered'n'shaved.
Dressed formal, too, no holes in this set of underwear.
Posted by: Peter at April 27, 2005 11:41 PM (HoSBk)
2
LOL - well you bullied someone else into blogging did ya? Good - I like Peter. *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2005 11:44 PM (nAfYo)
3
Damn near all the girls like Peter.
Posted by: Peter at April 27, 2005 11:48 PM (HoSBk)
4
Teresa - Bullied? Hardly!
After he told me he didn't want to blog because he had health problems I never again mentioned that he should get a blog of his own.
However, I think the intoxicating thrill of getting all the enthusiastic comments on his guest-posts made him change his mind.
So, Teresa, it's more YOUR fault than mine :-P
... now that I think about it, it's more Bou's fault for deciding to get a gun after reading Peter's posts...
Peter - ZING! Nice one :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 12:07 AM (ubhj8)
5
Whoo hooo!!!! I'm announcing today! I was just telling TGOO about Peter too.
I'm going shooting again in 2 weeks.
Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 05:55 AM (z7nbM)
Posted by: Madfish Willie at April 28, 2005 06:31 PM (MEfjQ)
7
Now this is a piece of excellent news!
Posted by: Jeff at April 28, 2005 09:39 PM (Mu8gg)
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SOMETHING ABOUT FIRSTBROKENANGEL
... that you should know.
My latest blogdaughter, Firstbrokenangel of AAFFLLAACCKK, has had a particularly difficult existence, and the effects are sometimes noticable in her writing. Medication will do that. You should probably read her about me post to get a full understanding of the woman behind the blog.
All things considered, I'm surprised at how cheery she usually is.
After you read the post, ask yourself how bad your problems REALLY are.
Oh, and she's got Haloscan comments now, so be sure to say "Hi".
Posted by: Harvey at
08:30 PM
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1
Good point and good read!
Posted by: Sissy at April 27, 2005 09:18 PM (PjqiK)
2
Harvey,
Not just medications - weather, pain, will also cause the same effect. What you said made me cry. Thank you.
You're right, I can be very cheery and over two years here on blogs, it is not until you made me start this one that I ever told anyone I was in constant pain, ill and disabled. Ain't you lucky? Just kidding. I have a decent doctor now and the last time I was there, he and his assistant were leaving the room so I could get dressed and I heard them say "It's people like Cindy that make this all worthwhile." And the other cause is my clarity. I take no drugs during the day but my brain does go into a fog no matter what depending upon what the day is like. I have days I can't drive because my eyes won't focus. So... I do the best I can.
You should have seen me during the political season; I was on fire!
Hugs,
Cindy
Posted by: firstbrokenangel at April 28, 2005 12:01 AM (PEKrh)
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GETTING MEN TO TALK
Bloggranddaughter ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom is complaining (ever so gently) about
how her husband won't talk much about work.
True, men don't go into details about work. They're more into giving the one-word executive summary, i.e. "good", "ok", "bad", "sucked". And if women pester them for details, they get defensive "What is this? The Spanish Inquisition? Are you going to break out the comfy chair?"
Ladies, you have to actually explain to your man - in so many words, and preferrably small ones - that you ENJOY hearing about the boring insignificant details that he wouldn't dream of inflicting on his male friends. Your man will NOT understand this - and don't ask or expect him to - but he may be willing to indulge you anyway.
He will probably sigh heavily & roll his eyes, but if you're willing to accept that as the price you have to pay to get the goods, he can be trained. Eventually, all you'll have to do is say "Gimme the chick-flick version" and he'll start gabbing away.
Remember - men are trainable. It just takes patience.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:29 PM
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1
Personally I never enjoy talking about my job because it's truly only exciting to me. How can anyone ever get excited about the work I do in the Tax Law Dept of the Investment Division of my firm. Would anyone like to hear how I actually came up with the perfect work that captured the nuance of tax situation, like bifurcation for instance, for my boss.
Nuances of words are only interesting to Language Arts majors or Linguists and really no one else. Sigh!
So instead I love to listen to other peoples' day becuase the height of my day was not needing to use a the legal or investment thesaurus. Woohoo!
Posted by: michele at April 27, 2005 07:00 PM (ht2RK)
2
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition...
Sorry Harvey - I couldn't resist. *grin*
Actually, I've found that the best way to get my husband to talk (most of the time) is to go out walking together everyday. (not really an option when you have toddlers though - that's just a time you have to tough out until they get a bit older). Walking puts you on neutral territory, you're in motion so it's generally more difficult to get confrontational. And the added benefit is that if you walk everyday - even the most silent of guys decides they should throw out a few words here and there.
Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2005 09:08 PM (nAfYo)
3
My husband is an extrovert and has no problems talking about it if he wants to. That said, I hate to sound callous and cold, but if he doesn't want to talk about it, I don't care.
At home, I NEVER talk about my job. When I worked for the old company, he had NO CLUE what I did for a living. People would ask and he'd say, "She's a rocket scientist" and leave it at that. (I told him although he wasn't totally wrong, he was better off saying 'propulsion scientist')
I'm big into compartmentalization. What happens at work, stays at work. What happens at home, stays at home. I don't like them bleeding into one another. Not to say it doesn't happen, but I don't like it much.
Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 06:02 AM (z7nbM)
4
Our chief weapon is fear.
I can't find the study now, but I know it's out here in cyberspace somewhere -- it shows that men typically use about 20,000 words a day, while women typically use about 45,000. So when the male gets home at the end of the day, it's likely that he has already used all his words and he's done talking. Women, on the other hand, still have many, many, many, many, many words left to say...
Posted by: Ogre at April 28, 2005 06:07 AM (/k+l4)
5
I agree w/Bou and Ogre, well he hit the nail on the head!!!
I'll only add one more thought. I also don't talk about my job because I already lived it. Good, bad or indifferent, it's over with, and I usually don't want to relive it twice. If I need to deal w/it some more I have my blog where I work things out. People, by opining about my day will only confuse me and delay my writing!
Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 06:35 AM (ht2RK)
6
I know a lot of guys that don't talk about work because it's illegal. Myself being one of them. Many aspects of my current job and especially my previous job does not allow me to talk about it with out violating various Federal and State laws. So for me, it's just easier to not talk about any aspect of it so I don't have to worry about it. Plus, no one understands what I do for a living, not even the person I report to, so why bother?
Posted by: Contagion at April 28, 2005 07:14 AM (Q5WxB)
7
You mean there's NO ONE out there who wants to hear about my day? :-(
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 07:54 AM (ubhj8)
8
Some days I wish my hubby were like that.
He's a talker, put him and Tammi into a room together and you would never get them to shut-up.
I think both of us talk about work just to gripe and just talk through the problems were having at work. Neither of us usually tries to solve the others issues, we just listen. That is usually all the other wants, someone to listen to their gripes about work.
Posted by: Machelle at April 28, 2005 07:57 AM (ZAyoW)
9
I am surprised this small paragraph got so much "attention". When you are separated for 18 months...I think it puts you in a different realm. I asked as a matter of reconnecting with him.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 28, 2005 09:46 AM (IOfXi)
10
AW - yeah, you're a different situation. But I think that he's not used to doing conversational connecting after where he's been & what he's done.
Train him patiently. And use small words :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 01:30 PM (tJfh1)
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JUST THE TOY FOR YOUR LAPTOP - UPDATED 4-28-05
A tiny, optical, 3-button USB wheelmouse, with a retractable cord for easy storage.
Blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only! has a post about it with a nice picture, and check the comments for details on the functionality.
You can get one at Amazon for $17.00
UPDATE 4-28-05: Jim of Snooze Button Dreams says $10 at America's Favorite Corporate Whipping Boy
Posted by: Harvey at
01:26 PM
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1
Very cool - I may have to get one. *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2005 02:00 PM (nAfYo)
2
Bet you wished you got this instead of flowers.
Posted by: Contagion at April 27, 2005 02:05 PM (Q5WxB)
3
Doh!
I payed 19.95 at Office Max. No shipping and handling though. Plus I got to
play with use it as soon as I got home.
:-D
Posted by: GEBIV at April 27, 2005 02:14 PM (qnNu4)
4
Only $10 at
Mega-Lo Mart.
Lovely Wife got one of these last year and has been totally in love with it.
Posted by: Jim at April 28, 2005 10:19 AM (tyQ8y)
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HELL TO PAY
They
gave me flowers for "Administrative Professionals Day"
F***ers.
Any suggestions for subtle, Machiavellian vengeance?
Posted by: Harvey at
09:22 AM
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1
Yay, they arrived!
Posted by: Ogre at April 27, 2005 10:30 AM (/k+l4)
2
A horse's head would probably do the trick.
Or you could put them out on your ledge and set them on fire.
Posted by: Phelps at April 27, 2005 11:18 AM (f9s1t)
3
Pour most of the water out, leave them in your cubicle (or better yet, the break room) and as they wither and die and start to stink, vigorously insist that they are still perfectly ok, and nobody better throw them out because they are proof of how much you are valued as an Administrative Professional. If there are mums in the bunch you should get some really gross and slimy water, too--don't let anyone change it! I'd also recommend that if anyone suggests tossing them, you pensively bite your lip and let tears well up in your eyes, as if considering it, but then go back to the trenchant denial that anything's wrong with them. Maybe next year they'll send you chocolates...
Posted by: Susie at April 27, 2005 11:25 AM (IPJ6q)
4
I got chocolates: nyah nyah. 8>
Pictures up tomorrow on my Flickr page, which your comment machine won't let me post because it thinks the link is questionable. Speaking of which, have you been checking in there? There are some photographs of, er, matters that might concern you. As a red-blooded American male. Though so far most of my postings are on the dressed side. (But stay tuned.)
Posted by: Linus at April 27, 2005 12:15 PM (Bf+TD)
5
Susie has a great idea......
if that doesn't work, pin the flowers to a "fedora", wear it around the office for the next week or so. say "I have been wanting these exact flowers for my fedora." If they don't fire you, you probably won't be getting flowers next year.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 27, 2005 12:34 PM (8dRaf)
6
You wearing a dress and heels to work again Harvey? LOL.
Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2005 02:01 PM (nAfYo)
7
Uhhhh Harv, did someone at work give these to you or someone else? If someone else, take those wonderful ideas above - ie stinky flowers and then SEND THEM BACK to the person who sent them to you. Or put them on the Fedora and send it to them (after they have reached stinch level).
Posted by: vw bug at April 27, 2005 02:01 PM (IHRU4)
8
Due what I did on Bosses day when my minions gave me flowers. Cut the heads off and leave the stems sitting in a vase of water.
As people start annoying you take their picture with a poloroid camera, cut out their heads and impale them on a stem. Take a needle and prick your finger so you can smeer the photo's with blood. This makes them look like tiny severed heads. If you don't want to use real blood, a red marker might work.
Lets just say, I've never received a flower at work again.
Posted by: Contagion at April 27, 2005 02:03 PM (Q5WxB)
9
*sniff*
I love you guys :-)
Keep it comin'...
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 02:38 PM (tJfh1)
10
Oh Contagion's idea is wonderful. You could play "She loves me, she loves me not" all over the bank!
Posted by: Oddybobo at April 27, 2005 02:57 PM (6Gm0j)
11
I got a basket with some girly, gourmet-like snacks inside. I keep telling them that if they really wanted to show their appreciation they'd give me a 12 pack of beer. I'm a guy for Christ sake.
On the bright side, at least it's not called "Secretaries Day" anymore.
Posted by: G. Hamid at April 27, 2005 03:22 PM (Ej1ST)
12
(Looks at Contagion)
GOD, I'm glad I don't work with you.....
Posted by: Graumagus at April 27, 2005 03:30 PM (XWpIJ)
13
DAMN, I had to give myself my own A.P. Day present by bouncing when they left for lunch. I left a message that if they had any questions, the answer would be "No" until tomorrow.
But um...payback, let me think. Perhaps you can hide a teensy cd player somewhere and put that Russian pop duo TaTu's song "All the Things She Said" (heavy drums techno version) on repeat play. By ten or so they'll all be banging thier heads in their drawers.
Posted by: Tiffany at April 27, 2005 04:03 PM (bj98V)
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Tiffany - OO! nice one! But what I really need is some trippy psychedelic stuff to freak out the grandmas I work with. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love, maybe :-)
And what's this?
NEW COMMENTER!
HI G!!!
*waves like a lunatic*
Been lurking long?
Either way, glad to have you breaking the ice :-)
And I'd rather have the snacky basket, myself. At the very least they could've bought me some fucking McDonald's gift certificates. Maybe a flashlight. Or a screwdriver. Or some fucking duct tape! SOMEFUCKINGTHING USEFUL!!!
Buncha retarded assholes.
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 04:30 PM (tJfh1)
15
Ok, I feel really dumb! I never knew they stopped calling it secretaries day. Then today, I went shopping for mothers day cards, and I saw "administrative professionals day" and i was like, "what's the difference between that and secretaries day"
*crawls out from underneath her rock*
Posted by: Sissy at April 27, 2005 05:54 PM (PjqiK)
16
Sissy - that may have been a fairly recent change. I only knew about it being AP Day because that's how it's printed on my calendar this year.
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 06:24 PM (ubhj8)
17
Now Harvey ....... *tilting head and looking sincere* .... You know its the THOUGHT that FUCKING COUNTS! *smacking the hell outta you* Tsk tsk! I'm calling that bank right now!!!
*smirk*
Posted by: Denise at April 27, 2005 07:26 PM (JTlEe)
18
Denise - LOL! That's very nearly the exact reaction I got when - as they were passing out the ugly flowers in cheap glass vases - I told the teller who was distributing these eyesores to get that thing the hell away from my window.
Those things were ugly & tacky enough without me having customers treat them as a conversation piece.
Had enough of that last year.
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 07:58 PM (ubhj8)
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hehe....Harvey, it's just cause youre so dang loveable that they sent the flowers. Oooooor...they just like pissing you off. ;-)
Posted by: Pam at April 27, 2005 09:04 PM (hNXz0)
20
HAHAHAHA - at least you got something!!heh
too damn funny.
Cindy
Posted by: firstbrokenangel at April 28, 2005 12:07 AM (PEKrh)
21
Wait. "Had enough of that last year" That is implying you get flowers EVERY year.
Holy shit. That sucks wet socks. I don't think we have any administrative assistants where I am... hmm.
Today is take your child to work day. I'm not going to work. I don't want to deal with everyone's kiddies. I'd rather have flowers.
Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 06:11 AM (z7nbM)
22
You didn't tell me it was bring your kid to work day Bou!!
Hmph!
*Folds arms, turns away and pouts*
Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 08:13 AM (PjqiK)
Posted by: _Jon at April 28, 2005 08:28 AM (uHRYR)
24
If I were gay, at least I'd be able to
enjoy the fucking flowers :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 01:22 PM (tJfh1)
25
There's always the old gerbils, nutsack coated with Karo syrup thing...
Oh. You said "subtle". Darn.
Hmmmmmmmm!
Posted by: Jeff at April 28, 2005 09:42 PM (Mu8gg)
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April 26, 2005
MERCY FOR TELEMARKETERS - UPDATED 4-27-05 7AM
Blogdaughter Boudicca of Boudicca's Voice has
a post on telemarketers, and I'm going to take an opposing tack to most of her commenters.
Most telemarketers are just low-skilled workers trying to make ends meet, and I don't have a personal problem with them. It's honest - if low-status - work.
If you REALLY want to be nice to them, hang up on them AS SOON AS POSSIBLE so that they can move on to someone who might actually be interested. Probably some lonely elderly person.
Don't worry about hurting their feelings. Wasting their time hurts more.
UPDATE 4-27-05 7am: My personal preference is to wait until I know it's a telemarketer - which never takes long, because I habitually answer the phone "Olson residence, Harvey speaking." - and as soon as some voice asks me (after that tell-tale pause while the dialing software connects us) "May I please speak to Mr. or Mrs. Olson?" I know it's a telemarketer, because no human being who'd heard what I just said would answer me that way. So I respond in a pleasant voice "No thank you, good-bye" and hang up without waiting for a response from them.
Now they can call someone who cares.
Posted by: Harvey at
11:39 PM
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1
Conversely, you can try to convert them to Mormonism and invite them to your bigamist llama orgle in Utah.
Posted by: Tom at April 27, 2005 01:27 AM (UCGFN)
Posted by: Tom at April 27, 2005 04:50 AM (UCGFN)
3
It will require hanging up, as they do have to go through a flowchart script that answers every nice no with another compelling reason to buy.
I did my three weeks of boiler room, werd.
Posted by: Brian J. at April 27, 2005 05:42 AM (V04ml)
4
And what's wrong with bigamist llama orgle s?
Posted by: Ogre at April 27, 2005 06:00 AM (/k+l4)
5
Although I do agree it's a low paying/skilled job....I have also known people that have done it and know the "schemes" they are trained to do that aggrivate the hell out of me. Very sneaky and I've been burned a few times by trying to be nice.
Although I joke about making up answers, to be honest, my usual routine is to try for 5 minutes to tell them I'm not interested.
Some of the behind the scenes stuff is shady...and I just think it's plain wrong!
Posted by: Sissy at April 27, 2005 06:09 AM (PjqiK)
6
I actually almost always immediately hang up. This was the one case where I was curious and let her get to her 3rd question. But either way, I am never rude. It makes no sense.
Posted by: Bou at April 27, 2005 06:18 AM (z7nbM)
7
Usually when they call me, as soon as I know they are a telemarketer I make the following statement, "I'm not interested, please don't call me again." I will then hang up on them. It seems to work.
Posted by: Contagion at April 27, 2005 07:03 AM (Q5WxB)
8
I usually hang up, but when I get stuck, I usually have a little fun with them too!
Posted by: oddybobo at April 27, 2005 07:25 AM (6Gm0j)
9
I tell them that this is my cell phone and to please make a note of that.
Most telemarketers don't want to piss off perspective customers. And a person that has to pay for a phone call will be pissed off - and not a customer.
Even if it is a home phone, you can tell them that it is forwarded to your cell.
Personally, I consider it an invasion of privacy. It shouldn't be an "opt-out" list, it should be an "opt-in" list.
Posted by: _Jon at April 27, 2005 08:04 AM (ewFgD)
10
Yesterday must have been telemarketers day, or else they all started working though the phone book alphabetically at the same time because I got 5 or 6 calls in just a short space of time. I use a response similar to Contagion, only I tell them I have whatever it is they are selling (I really enjoy saying that to people trying to sell me telephone service) and not to call again, and then hang up. Ironically, I just got a call as I was typing this--it was a recording that started "Please don't hang up." LOL!!!!
Posted by: Susie at April 27, 2005 11:36 AM (IPJ6q)
11
I breathe deep and ask what they're wearing.
Posted by: Toluca Nole at April 27, 2005 05:27 PM (1CFO2)
12
It got to the point a few years ago we simply got caller ID, a pair of cell phones and the answering machine does the rest.
I haven't delt with a telemarketer since.
Posted by: Blogless brother at April 27, 2005 09:49 PM (6cyEp)
13
I am with blogless brother on this, caller ID is a god send.
If we don't know the person the answering machine picks it up.
We talk to no telemarkers now.
Posted by: Machelle at April 28, 2005 08:04 AM (ZAyoW)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
There is nothing that means more to me
Than the joys of life you've helped me see
With your openness and honesty
You will always have me
...and my love.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
There is nothing that means more to me
Than the orgasms you've helped me reach
With your sexiness and willingness
You will always have my affection
... and my wallet.
Posted by: _Jon at April 27, 2005 08:08 AM (ewFgD)
2
*steals _Jon's wallet* WOOO I'm rich now *looks into the wallet* aww, it's empty. . . well atleast I can pawn the wallet . . . *heads to the pawn shop* what? its not even worth $1.00??? Bah, this wasn't even worth stealing. . . *returns the wallet*
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at April 27, 2005 01:03 PM (NI7Kq)
3
You obviously didn't get *my* wallet...
Posted by: _Jon at April 28, 2005 08:28 AM (uHRYR)
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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(click to enlarge)
[
SHOP TILL YOU DROP]
As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Female Cliché Dollars". Coming soon: "Not tonight, I've got a headache", and "Do these pants make me look fat?"
Posted by: Harvey at
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RUNNING IN THE FAMILY
Josh Fielek - author of
the best dark fiction on the web (at least since Stephen King folded up "The Plant") - announces that his wife, Jessica, has her own blog now at
The Fieleks.com
She's a smart cookie, coping with school, marriage, and a 9-month old baby. If you're a momma, she could probably use some sympathy and/or advice.
...
Well, crap. Looks like her permalinks aren't working.
Fine.
Go to the main page & look for the 4-25 entry "I need to keep a better blog". Start dumping your love there.
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
Wow...thanks for the introduction! Aren't you sweet!
Posted by: Jessica Fielek at April 26, 2005 08:27 PM (92htO)
2
And the permalinks are fixed now :-)
And I'm working on the end of
Great Dismal even as we speak.
Posted by: J at April 26, 2005 10:02 PM (92htO)
3
Jessica - SHHHHHH! You'll ruin my reputation! ;-)
Josh - YAY!!!
Posted by: Harvey at April 26, 2005 10:33 PM (ubhj8)
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DOING IT IN PUBLIC
Linking my wife, that is.
Which only sounds dirty.
Anyway, TNT of Smiling Dynamite has a list of "Things Stressed Women Say at Work", including my favorite:
13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
You have NO idea how often this one runs through my mind.
I swear, bloggers are the only people who can talk a lot without boring the crap out of me.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:22 AM
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1
The rest of the world better hope Harvey dosen't become President for Life. All nonbloggers will quitely go to some hidden "camps" ouT in Utah. lol
for the crime of being so so boring lol
Regards
GBfan
Posted by: gbfan001 at April 26, 2005 07:09 AM (AaAze)
2
My favorite is "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing" I am going to have to use that one!
Posted by: Oddybobo at April 26, 2005 08:08 AM (6Gm0j)
3
"I swear, bloggers are the
only people who can talk a lot without boring the crap out of me."
Is that
all bloggers, Harv? Or just
most of 'em? Cause, see, that problem with the MT-Blacklist software at Mu Nu - if they would simply enhance the structure of test phrases in the conditional logic before initiating the rejection module...
*grin*
Posted by: at April 26, 2005 02:58 PM (Mu8gg)
4
That wasn't boring talk, (whoever just posted), that was mind numbing, coma inducing talk.
The difference is, with the coma inducing talk, all you get is drool. With the booring, never shut up talk, you get all sorts of homocidal urges.
Posted by: GEBIV at April 26, 2005 03:28 PM (qnNu4)
5
I'm guessing that was Jeff of Ponytailed Conservative who hates the fact that munu comments ban the word "si-te", thus leaving him unable to post comments.
And I didn't find that sentence boring at all. I wish I worked with people who had the ability to talk like that :-/
Posted by: Harvey at April 26, 2005 05:26 PM (ubhj8)
6
Yep, that was me... didn't mean to post anon - got in a hurry!
And the si-te thing... I blogged about it again (very non-specifically). Hopefully I'm over myself now. *LOL*
Posted by: jeff (ponytailed conservative) at April 26, 2005 06:34 PM (Mu8gg)
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TODAY'S LOVE NOTE
(
Introduction)
Love doesn't make things easier, just worth it.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
...by making things harder... *ahem*
Posted by: Harvey at April 26, 2005 06:15 AM (ubhj8)
2
If by "worth it" you mean "pay for the ring", then I agree.
Posted by: _Jon at April 26, 2005 08:00 AM (ZM3Qb)
3
are we supposed to be getting paid for it? Damn I am always the last to know.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 26, 2005 05:11 PM (Y9IOo)
4
Yeah, you aren't *just* supposed to be collecting Fuck Trophies... :evil laugh:
Posted by: _Jon at April 27, 2005 08:09 AM (ewFgD)
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April 25, 2005
WEEKENDS WITH WOLVES
This last weekend,
TNT & I drove to Indiana to visit Blake of
The Laughing Wolf, who graciously gave us a special, in-depth, behind the scenes tour of
Wolf Park.
For a 4-hour drive, it wasn't too bad. Despite Chicago's best efforts to get us lost with construction, confusing signage, and poorly-marked exits, we made our way around the Windy City and into the Snowy State, i.e. Indiana.
That's right. Freakin' snow. In April. Not enough to accumulate or mess up the roads, but just enough to remind you why some people don't ever want to live this far north.
However, the joke was on Mother Nature, since even though the crappy weather was probably meant to punish me for my evil ways, it turned out to be a disguised blessing. See, the wolves are still wearing their winter coats, and if it would've been hot, they would've been boring, furry lawn ornaments (as Blake described their behavior during last week's summery weather). As it was, they were bursting with energy - frisking, frolicking, racing, chasing, playing, and generally being as entertaining as you could possibly hope for. Despite the 40 degree weather and bitter 20+ mph winds, we enjoyed ourselves immensely.
Aside from the furry things, the best part of Wolf Park was Gale. She was sweet, intelligent, charming, vivacious, friendly & informative, and even favored us with one of her cheers from her days as a cheerleader in Ancient Egypt ("Isis! Isis! Ra! Ra! Ra!"). Yeah, she's as bad with the puns as Blake. Outside of that, though, I don't know what else she could've done to make us feel more welcome, as she gave us the extra-thorough tour of the grounds and made sure we were introduced to every 4-legged resident.
Well, except for the bison, but they were kinda snooty, so no great loss.
In addition to getting us the Full Monty tour of Wolf Park, Blake also gave us a well-narrated tour of Lafayette. I have to say, he's a top-rank tour guide, full of informational tidbits about every place we visited. If you ever get a chance to have him show you around, take him up on it, because he knows the area and can tell you everything you want to know.
Although he didn't know why there was a plethora of weirdos wandering around the Purdue campus, but I'm sure he'll let us know when he finds out.
The evening ended at the Lafayette Brewing Company where I found some fantastic reddish brew (I think it was Eastside Bitter, but I'm not positive) and was introduced to deep-fried crack, aka Cheesy Potato Munchers which are basically tater-tots laced with cheddar cheese and jalapeno peppers. I could eat those things all night long.
Blake, being the sweetie that he is, gave us a very thoughtful anniversary present. I'm going to consult with TNT over who'll be posting pictures of it. Let's just say that it's destined to be a family heirloom - assuming it doesn't get worn down to a nub from regular use.
So here's the short version - if Blake asks you to come to Lafayette to hang with him, say yes and get there ASAP.
For the slightly longer short version, see The Laughing Wolf.
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
Psst...second link to Blake actually goes to LBC--not that there's anything
wrong with that....
Posted by: Susie at April 25, 2005 10:29 PM (IPJ6q)
2
CRAP!
...
Fixed.
Thanks, Susie
*smooch*
Posted by: Harvey at April 25, 2005 11:45 PM (ubhj8)
3
There is just something morally wrong with a man calling a man a sweetie.
Posted by: Machelle at April 26, 2005 07:09 AM (ZAyoW)
4
Glad you had a good time, and Basil says "Hi!" Machelle, there is only something wrong with it if the wife is not around, and she was/is. Besides, Harvey is sweet -- just ask Basil. *G*
Posted by: Laughing Wolf at April 26, 2005 03:31 PM (zI0Ey)
5
Basil (the all-white red fox) only liked me because I taste like chicken.
Or bugs or grubs or frogs or something... :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 26, 2005 05:29 PM (ubhj8)
6
Just be glad you didn't taste like cherry twizzlers, his favorite...
Posted by: Laughing Wolf at April 27, 2005 07:18 AM (zI0Ey)
7
I wonder what would have happened if you had tasted like cherry twizzlers? hmmmm
Glad all of you had fun!
Posted by: michele at May 03, 2005 07:50 PM (ht2RK)
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KARNIVAL OF KIDZ #2 ENTRY
(click to enlarge)
My favorite sister (ok, she's my ONLY sister) mischievously bottle-feeds me dish soap instead of milk, much to my dismay.
Posted by: Harvey at
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1
They had dishsoap in them days? Huh who knew?
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 25, 2005 09:47 PM (0JEMQ)
2
What was it like having a sister so much older then you? Dish soap huh? Maybe there was some kind of magic ingredient to help you stay quiet???? hahah.. Great picture
Posted by: Jennifer at May 02, 2005 07:40 AM (F8d3L)
3
Jennifer - Actually, it was great. By the time I was old enough to remember anything, she was already married & out of the house. Just me & 5 brothers whoopin' it up guy-style. Although the older brothers all peeled off & moved out one by one as I grew up.
Posted by: Harvey at May 02, 2005 02:58 PM (tJfh1)
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3 GAUNTLETS LAID DOWN, 3 GAUNTLETS PICKED UP
Results of my
meme-challenge:
Kevin of Eckernet... If I could be an architect ... the Death Star would be my first project, then IÂ’d move onto larger projects.
Teresa of Technicalities... If I could be a professor... I wouldn't tell those giving me tenure that I wasn't liberal until it was too late
Dana of Note-It Posts... If I could be a lawyerÂ… IÂ’d sue the pants off of whiny, liberal, Wal-Mart obstructionists. Then cackle in glee as they all fled into the store to buy new pants.
Ogre's tracking the whole mess here.
Posted by: Harvey at
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