_Jon of We Swear shares some troll-droppings that he found at one of the on-line forums he frequents:

If you support the troops you support the following:

1. rape (including homosexual sado-rape)
2. torture
3. Murder
4. the systematic killing of civilians including babies, children and elderly
5. the burning of the Bill of Rights by Bush/Ashcroft
6. terrorism (this war fits the UN definition of terrorism)

Instead of saying "support the troops" why don't you just say "Support the terrorist war criminals"

_Jon takes him down swiftly and in fine style, so go ahead & look.

Meanwhile, I can't help thinking that, if by "troops", he means the insurgents, he's actually right. Something for the hippies & the French to think about, I suppose.

As for #5, I submit that surrendering to these terrorist pieces of shit WOULD constitute a betrayal of the Constitution by our leadership, so that one fits, too. For this item, it's not something they're currently doing, but it's something they want.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:42 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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We have this "arrangement" in my happily-married household: Beloved Wife cooks, and I do the dishes. Since we have different food preferences, she usually cooks one huge batch of my stuff (usually lasagna - I love lasagna) and one huge batch of her stuff (she's got this killer chicken soup recipe, and she'll make about 2 gallons at once).

Then there's my dessert. It's this bizarre, high-calorie, mutant cake/browie thing with oatmeal, chocolate chips, and caramel ice cream topping. Simply to die for.

But there's a problem.

Sometimes when I go to tear a gooey slice of heaven out of the pan, I notice that there's a tiny bit less than there was the last time I looked.

Odd...

So I check with Beloved Wife - she says it must be mice.

In a house with four cats.

I've had some notions about non-rodent suspects, but I've always disregarded them. I mean, if you can't trust your own wife, who can you trust?

Then I read this bit of confessional from Sally at Whimsy Capricious, which says, in part:

Have you noticed how food that is stolen tastes SO much better than that which is offered? That first spoonful of his crunchy sweet cereal, the sauce that comes with the main course? Or that dessert (always a good excuse to 'suggest' a dessert to your partner) that you didn't think you'd manage to finish on your own. I mean, Mr Capricious would think that he is fairly safe being a carnivorous type and me not liking meat (I don't know why, it just makes me sick), but no! Picking out the bits of "carnage" and tasting the rest of it is an essential activity. Nothing is safe Mwahahahaha!!

Now, I don't want to jump to any hasty conclusions, but... is it possible we don't have a mouse problem?

Posted by: Harvey at 12:52 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Lynn of Reflections in d minor brings up a good point:

But, while we should remember those who have made it possible for us to sit on our porches whiling away the afternoon without having to worry about our neighbors blowing the porch out from under us as they do in some parts of the world, enjoying that gift is also the right thing to do.

As long as you acknowlege the source of the gift, (which she does with an excellent link to what Memorial Day is all about) I couldn't agree more.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:59 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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What did I do during my 6 years in the Navy? Not a lot, really. I was in from 11-85 to 11-91, and it was a different world back then. The Cold War was nearly over, but nobody knew that yet. The job of the US military at the time was less about "boots on the ground" and more about giving Ivan a case of insomnia.

I was on the aircraft carrier USS Enterprise (CVN 65) for my last 4 years. The first two were spent learning how not to break the ship (nuclear-powered, ya know, so if I broke something, hippies would cry, and nobody wanted that). Most of my time was spent doing little circles in the Indian Ocean. A carrier is pretty easy duty. If there was trouble, we'd stay pretty far away from it. As a floating airport, we sent the planes in to do all the blowing stuff up parts. The downside was that, if the Russians got seriously frisky, they'd probably skip the quaint little ship-to-ship battles that we had in WWII, and just pop a nuke overhead.

But aside from Mikhail threatening us with the Dr. Strangelove treatment, there were other duties to be done. In the 80's, the big focus was the Persian Gulf. Iran & Iraq were still having their little pissing contest. Since Iran had, in relative terms, only recently released the American hostages they were holding, we were more on Iraq's side.

Frankly, though, we didn't give a shit how many towelheads got greased. We were more concerned with the oil in the region. Those wacky Islamists had a bad habit of screwing with non-combatant oil tankers out of Kuwait, and this rather displeased us. So we sent US combat vessels to do a little escort duty, the theory being that no one would be stupid enough to screw with the Stars & Stripes.

Except they were. The Iranians were disposed to mining the Persian Gulf, and they didn't care if there was non-Iraqi collateral damage. Part of that damage was the USS Samuel B. Roberts.

We were not amused, and thus retaliated with Operation Praying Mantis.

Before OPM, the Iranians had 4 frigates in their navy. Afterwards, thanks to a little Enterprise airpower, they had two (well, 2.5, since one was still floating, although useless). After that bloody nose, they behaved themselves a little better, and oil continued to flow out of the Gulf uninterrupted.

By the time Saddam lost his mind and tried to adopt Kuwait in 1990, me & the Enterprise were sitting in the Virginia shipyards, looking to drop in a little fresh uranium, so I was stateside for Desert Shield/Desert Storm. I was still plenty nervous, though. I kept imagining that some truckload of explosive Muslims might try to drive through the security gate, but it never happened. And of course I had some concern that the "we're at war, so your contract has been extended" clause might kick in, but that didn't happen either, so I was discharged right on schedule.

So outside of helping arrange a conference between some lunatic Iranians and Davy Jones, my service was relatively uneventful. I was just a tiny link in the chain of the American habit of keeping the world's shipping lanes free from the depradations of pirates & murderers. Still, I had a small part in history, and I guess that's something to be proud of.

So now that my job is finished, I turn my thoughts to those good men and women whose jobs are not. There are pirates, murderers, and other things that go bump in the night that free people need to be protected from. And to all those with the courage to stand a post and walk the wall that separates liberty from chaos, I say thank you.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:49 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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"Our first date was set for New Year's Eve. Our first kiss was at Midnight. I couldn't sleep for two days afterward."

Matty O'Blackfive just celebrated his 7th wedding anniversary. Go read, and, when you get to the photo, explain to me how a bum like him wound up with a beauty queen like that?

Somewhere along the line he must've built up some REALLY good karma.

Congratulations to Matty and [she whose name is only truly pronouncable in the tongue of Angels] Blackfive!

Posted by: Harvey at 09:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Love make the world seem brighter and more beautiful. Everything is touched with magic... and that magic is you.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:27 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[DREBZ Here's Gas Money You Come See us next time Maybe we'll be There!]

One dollar for gas money? So... Drebz was visiting his neighbor across the street?

Posted by: Harvey at 09:25 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Which only sounds dirty.

Jeff of Hilarity Ensues finally got around to posting pictures of all 18 bazillion stamps in the collection he's trying to sell off. If you collect stamps, take a look and let him know if there's something you're interested in. If you know someone who collects stamps, send them a permalink.

If neither applies, then stop by and tell Jeff he still smells a little bit French, and needs to take another shower to remove the last of the residue. PHEW!

Posted by: Harvey at 12:55 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

[Something a little different today]

Rob of Gut Rumbles describes "THE LOOK" in a guest post at Key Issues. It gave me chills because I knew exactly what he was talking about.

On a warm spring Wisconsin evening in 1986, I saw THE LOOK in Beloved Wife's eyes for the first time.

I did two things:

1) kissed her
2) knew that I'd marry her

Posted by: Harvey at 08:12 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[Touch My Boobs]

Most people will tell you that the 3 sweetest words in the English language are, "I love you".

I beg to differ.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Well, first of all, Harry from Chase Me Ladies, I'm in the Cavalry took one look at the fanged & drooling competition, and ran for the hills screaming like a little girl.

Hmpf! Must be the French Cavalry.

Which leaves 2 competitors left standing. Bill of Walloworld and Songstress7 of News From the Great Beyond.

Only 2... standing in the middle of the dusty street, hands poised above holsters, waiting for the clock to strike noon...

This week's challenge question... Oh crap. I seem to have misplaced it, and neither of the contestants quotes it verbatim. Something about, imagine you're a superhero. What powers would you have, what would you do with them, blah, blah, blah.

Since there's only 2 this week, I'm going to skip the usual "good points"/"bad points" spiel & go with a more direct comparison model.

First, both of these entries are excellent, and show of level of talent and creativity that new bloggers would do well to study. Bill gets creative points for making an oblique reference to Mr. Bill, from the prehistoric days of Saturday Night Live. Unfortunately, he loses those points because he failed to provide a courtesy link to explain the whole "Mr. Bill" thing to those readers who aren't as ancient and decrepit as himself. On the other hand, not actually mentioning SNL by name added to the impact of the humor, so maybe he gets the points back.

But who cares? S7 pulls out all the stops and actually DRAWS A SUPERHERO COMIC! And you can click each frame individually to get a better view. She must've put HOURS into this. Someone wants to be Queen of the Blogs REALLY bad. Not to mention the fact that it's fairly decent for an amateur comic. Still beats Beavis & Butthead. Anyway, good touch on using your powers only for good, with the exception of rigging the KotB contest. Which IS kind of a good thing... I mean, overthrowing that despot Bill... yesssss.... a gooooood thing.

RANK:
News From the Great Beyond #1
Walloworld #2

The Whole Blog: Technical Merit & Personality

Here are some technical things I like to see on a blog:

Comments enabled
Permalinks working
E-mail contact info available
Blogger's name/pseudonym prominently displayed
Site search feature enabled
Link to an "About Me" post on the sidebar
Blogger's gender is easily discernable
Blogroll
Readable font style & size
Readable color scheme (for example, NOT bright red type on bright green
background)
Divisions between posts clearly marked
Paragraphing in entries (NOT just writing one fat block of text)

Aside from the tech stuff, I also like to see a blogger's personality shining through, to
remind us of the person behind the words.

KOTB-SPECIFIC ITEMS: These aren't both required by the official rules, but Bill has them, so you'll need them, too, just to stay even:

King of the Blogs javascript sidebar logo (see KotB host Nick for the script)
Brown-nosing links to KotB judges

This part of the judging process sucked. Both sites have all their technicals in order, and both sites exude all kinds of personality. So I had to look extra hard to see if anyone had an edge. Or perhaps a weakness. Bill's site is bulletproof, looking so neat & organized & brightly lit, with those simple, yet charming decorative flourishes... Well, I suppose I could ding him for having a really g... uh, let's call it "festive"... pink background for his blockquotes. Kinda clashes with off-teal of the sidebars a bit.

WAIT! Here's a fatal blow - my brown-nosing link still points to my old blog! Down you go, Bill! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Just a quick check of NFTGB to make sure there's nothing fatal here, and I can get on with the business off stuffing this tyrant into his own dungeon...

I really like the Pat Tillman link in the sidebar.
I really like the countdown javascript thingy. I may have to steal that in the future.
Uh oh. That Arizona Diamondbacks link pic gets cut off by the middle column... well, I'll just pretend I didn't see that. I mean, I have hypnotic orders to destroy Bill.

So, the winner is...

Oh... crap...

Somebody forgot to put the KotB logo in her sidebar.

Damn.

*sigh*

RANK:
Walloworld #1
News From the Great Beyond #2

It's going to be interesting to see how this week shakes out.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:12 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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While perusing a few links in the Champagne Room, I found this link that Emma of Miss Appropos left. It's a list of slang terms for various sexually-related things.

Now, I spent 6 years the Navy, and I thought I'd heard every euphemism for every unmentionable.

Looks like I was wrong. For example, I have never actually heard anyone use the following terms (complete lists of terms are at the links):

(Naughty words are in the extended entry to protect the innocent. Remember, if you link this, they won't be hidden on the permalink page, so give fair warning.) more...

Posted by: Harvey at 06:15 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Friday Linky Stuff

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's Job Interview (small, yet powerful)

New Filthy Lie assignment:

Who will be the Instapundit T-shirt Babe?

or

What will be on the Instapundit T-shirt?

Posted by: Harvey at 09:01 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(A FILTHY LIE)

An excerpt from "Maybe I Shouldn't Have Said That: A Job Hunter's Guide" by Glenn Reynolds

Chapter 4
Deal Breakers

Most job hunting manuals will tell you that it's a good thing to have some questions ready for the interviewer to show that you have a serious interest in the job being offered. However, I've learned through bitter experience that there are some questions that shouldn't be asked, and some comments that shouldn't be made. For example, the following have all, at one time or another, gotten me an armed escort to the front door:

At the dog kennel:
You guys don't actually take a head count every night, do you?

At the homeless shelter:
Ya know, if the food prep area in the kitchen were a little bigger, it could double as a sacrificial altar.

At Arthur Murray's Dance Studio:
Is the Robot Dance considered Waltz or Ballroom?

At St. Peter's Cathedral:
Where do you keep the black candles?

At McDonald's:
Will you be adding the McDachshund to the menu anytime soon?

At more places than I can count:
I don't smoke, so is it ok if I spend my breaks slaughtering the homeless?

At the CIA:
Now that Clinton is no longer President, is it still ok to sell advanced missle technology to the Chinese Communists?

At Blockbuster Video:
Will this store be ordering "Backdoor Birdie" anytime soon? My copy is worn out and I need something to watch during my shift.

At the blood bank:
Is there an employee discount?

At the 700 Club:
Do you offer medical benefits for my same sex partner?

At the Suicide Hotline:
If the person calling is an asshole, can I just refer them to www.selfsnuff.com?

At PeTA:
Now that I've got this job, let's go to Red Lobster to celebrate. My treat.

At Apple:
Bill Gates said...

At the NAACP:
Did I leave my copy of "The Bell Curve" in the lobby?

At IBM:
Mind if I take some notes on my Powerbook while we talk?

At the National Organization for Women:
Weren't you on the cover of "Hefty Hooters" magazine? [pulling out latest edition] See? Looks just like you.

I spent six months in the hospital after that last one. So just remember, people: Be careful - it's a jungle out there

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

Posted by: Harvey at 07:35 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 LOL! They're all funny, but 700 club hit just right. Must be growing up in the Bible belt.

Posted by: at May 28, 2004 08:59 PM (u3sPG)

2 Oops, Harvey, sorry. That was me. I hit Post too soon.

Posted by: boudicca at May 28, 2004 09:00 PM (u3sPG)

3 Another giant load of Evil Glenn poop shovelled out by the Harvenator. Out-fucking-standing!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 28, 2004 09:50 PM (rQ9MS)

4 LMAO! I agree that they're all funny, but the Homeless Shelter bit was my favourite

Posted by: Sally at May 29, 2004 03:06 PM (a1D32)

5 Thanks for your comments BTW. You too, Susie!

Posted by: Sally at May 29, 2004 03:24 PM (a1D32)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

was written by Owen of Boots & Sabers:

It is a myth that addiction canÂ’t be overcome by will power alone. While it is true that other things can help one overcome an addiction, or make it easier, the person still has to make the choice and have the will power to stick by that choice. One can use their will power to fight off the beast, or one can use their will power to steal, cheat, and lie to keep the beast hidden. It takes the same amount of will power. The only difference is the direction.

About a 3-5 minute read. Anyone who's quit smoking - or anything else - cold turkey will love it.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:03 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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"Arrr! I be a Muslim cleric, mateys!"

Note to readers: put coffee down BEFORE clicking the link. And whatever you do, DON'T read the comments, because they're tasteless, offensive, and full of puns.

Mheh.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:49 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(title inspired by Bob & Brian)

The FBI is hot to get their hands on these terrorist pieces of shit. If you see them, drop a line to the feds. Before or after you kill them. Makes no difference to me.

(click to enlarge)

This is the pyramid of assholes that should be shown 24/7 on every news station in America.

More info & better pictures here.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Your voice makes me tremble inside and your smile is an invitation for my imagination to go wild.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:35 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[WAZZZ-UP?]

As a follow-up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in the new series of "Annoying Commercial Catch-Phrase Dollars". Coming soon: "Brilliant!" and "Where's the beef?"

Posted by: Harvey at 09:34 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Owen of Boots & Sabers is causing trouble again. This time by pointing me to a site that allows you to screw with a photo that you've probably seen before.

I did mine (click to enlarge):

Now go do yours.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:44 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 48 words, total size 1 kb.