(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

Saw this at Reynolds' site:

my younger brother worked as an assistant there, boiling down corpses in turpentine with his grad-student girlfriend. Now that's an exciting weekend...

Giving his hobo-murdering habits, this one isn't TOO surprising, but it does make me wonder what ELSE this guy does for fun.

Unfortunately I found out. Turn's out he's going to be spending THIS weekend at a ski resort in Vail, Colorado, indulging in one of his favorite recreational sports:

EXTREME PUPPY BLENDING!

Now that's an exciting weekend...

Posted by: Harvey at 05:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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From blogson _Jon of We Swear:

Have any of y'all got any experience with the Lego System or Sumo Wrestling Robots? Specifically, I'm looking for software designs that have been used by robots in previous competitions. It appears competitors are quite quiet with regard to their robot's AI....

Where's Dr. Frink when you need him?

Posted by: Harvey at 03:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

A recent DC anti-war protest turned out some disappointing numbers for the screeching loony left, and I can't help thinking that they could REALLY improve their attendance figures if they made the events just a LITTLE more red-stater friendly. After all, liberals ARE about being open-minded & non-judgmental, right?

Since I consider myself a fairly typical warmongering, right-wing, gun nut, here's what they could do to get ME to show up to one of their little kook-keggers:

* More crazy naked PETA chicks [PG13]!

* I'd really enjoy a Dick Cheney hunter safety course, because every time I try to shoot a lawyer, I end up hitting a quail in the face.

* Sell "Ann Coulter Gone Wild!" DVD's

* Schedule the protest on a weekend so that the gainfully employed can attend.

* Ergonomic comfort-gel Sof-Grip protest sign-handles ("Just say 'NO' to splinters!")

* Free John Kerry silhouette shooting targets ("10 points for the important-looking hair!")

* Free Korans - I've got a wobbly table with a short leg at home.

* Free shampoo - which I'll gladly provide myself if they promise to use it. Seriously - who's the lunatic who told white people they could wear dreadlocks?

* Free Palestine - I always see booths offering it, but when I get there, they never have any. I wonder if it's like funnel cake?

* Ban braless grandmothers.

Anyway, what would get YOU to go to a anti-war protest rally?

Posted by: Harvey at 11:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

You know you're in love when you think about that person, and your stomach gets all fuzzy and squishy.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 11:55 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[I [heart] Christina]

"OO!" thought Miss Aguilera, "what a thoughtful gift! I'll put this over my crotch and have my picture taken, since that'll mean that I won't technically be nude. Only sleazy skanks pose NUDE!"

Posted by: Harvey at 11:52 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Blogson Peter of Shakey Pete's Shootin' Shack lost his dog, George:

I have nothing to offer, except this, which I found at McDarlins Calligraphy:

George, I wish you an eternity of sunny meadows and slow, fat rabbits.

Rest well, boy.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:18 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Love is when the woman of your dreams becomes a reality and sleep stops being a priority.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:37 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 ...until you're "finished" and you roll off of her...

Posted by: Harvey at March 30, 2006 09:37 AM (L7a63)

2 You're terrible! I hope your wife makes YOU sleep in the wet spot!

Posted by: Rave at March 30, 2006 01:01 PM (Fir0Z)

3 If you you could get her to wake up.

Posted by: GaMongrel at March 30, 2006 06:48 PM (tYXgL)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(new 20)]

That blue bird on the left side of the bill is NOT an eagle. It's actually supposed to represent a quail dodging a load of birdshot from Dick Cheney's gun.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:35 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Filthy Lie Assignment reminder: Besides boiling down corpses in turpentine, what else does Evil Glenn think makes for "an exciting weekend"? due by 11pm EST Friday, March 31st. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog Tip: Alternatives to Blogger: MSN Spaces

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Attracting More Protesters

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: How does Rep. Cynthia McKinney(D-GA) demonstrate her "support" for the Capitol Hill Police?

Harvey's message to those who do Alliance Assignments

Posted by: Harvey at 09:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Blogdaughter/niece Sarah of That's Not Very Nice! posted about her spring cleaning adventure, and in the comments, Richmond of One for the Road lamented:

Yay Spring cleaning! I just wish we could win a prize or something....

Gotcha covered, sweetie:

How's that?

UPDATE: per Richmond's suggestion in the comments:

"Si, Señora Richmond, I have much sweaty from waxing your floors. May I now to be - how you say - buffing your muffin, por favor?"

Posted by: Harvey at 02:36 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 That's really nice, Harvey. But to be honest, I was thinking more along the lines of winning a month's worth of "Fernando the HouseBoy's" services.

Posted by: Richmond at March 29, 2006 03:06 PM (e8QFP)

2 I've thrown away the old living room furniture, cleaned the carpets, I'm getting ready to paint and the new furniture arrives Friday. I think that qualifies me for the Spring Cleaning Award. Send one of those houseboy prizes my way!

Posted by: Sticks at March 29, 2006 04:39 PM (vKVZD)

3 I haven't been here in a couple of days and I'm greated with this post. I think I'm going to go scrub my eyes now.

Posted by: Contagion at March 29, 2006 06:35 PM (e8b4J)

4 No No No No!!!! THIS is how you Spring Clean!

Posted by: Rave at March 29, 2006 07:13 PM (Fir0Z)

5 Ahhhh yes! Now that's more like it! Uh, Fernando? I'd like a Mojito, please... (Wow, I sure hope I don't break him...)

Posted by: Richmond at March 29, 2006 07:29 PM (e8QFP)

6 Thanks... I needed something 'sweet' to look at today.

Posted by: vw bug at March 29, 2006 07:40 PM (zqfW3)

7 Dammit. Blind again.

Posted by: Ogre at March 30, 2006 09:07 AM (/k+l4)

8 Ummm...well.....damn...... I think I just got that little "push" I needed to get some cleanin' done around here. What a very nice way to start my day......

Posted by: Tammi at March 30, 2006 09:47 AM (lfQya)

9 Richmond honey, if you aren't going to use sweaty, I'll take him to . . . um . . . buff my floor with!

Posted by: Oddybobo at March 30, 2006 10:17 AM (6Gm0j)

10 Rave wins. I like her cleaning hunk much better. Have him come to my house.

Posted by: Sticks at March 30, 2006 02:55 PM (vKVZD)

11 Thanks, Sticks...I liked him too!

Posted by: Rave at March 30, 2006 09:27 PM (Fir0Z)

12 My first thought - "That guy needs to eat." hln

Posted by: hln at April 06, 2006 04:15 PM (MNL0s)

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(Introduction)

If I had never met her, I would have dreamed her into being.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 07:33 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Happy Birthday Linda Love, Glory & Allen]

"It's just what I wanted," exclaimed Linda, "a new coke straw!"

Posted by: Harvey at 07:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I only mention this because it contains the phrase "ergonomic flogger".

That, and he explains that Queen & Playboy photographer incident.

See Basil for the whole thing.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I saw that Beth of She Who Will Be Obeyed posted a link to WEBoggle.

Which I passed along to Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite.

She'd hate me for getting her hooked on it, but that would cut into her playing time.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:37 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: How could anti-war protest rallies attract more participants? due by 11:59pm EDT Wednesday, March 29th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Susie's FYI - Broken Bear

Overlooked Filthy Lie

And 4 more

Filthy Lie Round-up: Visiting InstaGrandma

New Filthy Lie Assignment: Besides boiling down corpses in turpentine, what else does Evil Glenn think makes for "an exciting weekend"?

Posted by: Harvey at 04:28 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Carnival of Republican Freedom is up at YoungRepublican4NY. Kind of a low turnout this week, but maybe Ogre & Freedom Folks might want to drop something in the hopper for next time to encourage the budding right-wing host?

Posted by: Harvey at 09:00 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

It only takes a second to say "I love you", but it will take a lifetime to show you how much.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(red stripe over Washington's portrait)]

To help prevent counterfeiting, the new design for the $1 bill includes the "cinnamon flavor strip" security feature.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:54 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 LOL!!! I guess that explains the new 10s, huh?

Posted by: Susie at March 27, 2006 10:26 PM (a0oF7)

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[cross-posted from IMAO]

(click to enlarge)

Lynndie England's younger, hotter sister, Emily, hard at work in the Abu Ghraib Daycare Center

(either that, or whatever CENTCOM says it is)

Posted by: Harvey at 07:53 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

While surfing Instapundit, I was stopped dead in my tracks by this line:

"I've been hanging out with my grandmother, and enjoying it."

Odd. Outside of eating her chocolate chip cookies, I never enjoyed MY grandmother's company. Although her habit of balancing her dentures on her nose, tossing them up in the air, and catching them in her mouth may have had something to do with it.

Anyway, turns out that there are two reasons Glenn enjoys visiting Granny so much.

First, she always takes him out hobo-hunting:

"Look! It's Nick Nolte! Let's get 'im!"

Second, Elly May is totally freakin' HOT!

Now before you go "EWWWW! She's his cousin! That's just WRONG!", just be relieved that it's not his sister.

Not that THAT matters in Tennessee.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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