January 31, 2006
If it wasn't for her graphical talents, I wouldn't have any banners atop my blog.
Or a Bad Example Family logo.
Or an Annoying Neighbors logo.
Or a Groupies logo.
Or a Little Right Wing Circle Jerk logo.
Etc., etc., etc.... I think you get the idea.
That, and she's a naughty, naughty girl.
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05:07 PM
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Matty O'Blackfive outlines his State of the Union Address.
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04:31 PM
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Maybe a guy could fall instantly in love, but I doubt it. I think love creeps over you like a warm feeling on a clear blue fall day. This person is in your thoughts most of the time - all of the time, actually. You see her when you close your eyes, when you look off into the distance, when you pause from what you are doing and take a deep breath. You remember how her fingers felt when they touched you. The loved one becomes a part of you, the most important part. At least it's that way with me when I think of you.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]
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01:34 PM
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(click to enlarge)
[IN ALMIGHTY GOD THERE'S ALWAYS LOVE]
Much better than Allah's motto - "Slaughtering the innocent since 622 A.D."
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01:30 PM
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Mostly because if I don't, he'll feed me to Basil when I go to Wolf Park.
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08:29 AM
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And I even forgive her for making me think so damn hard.
... Wait... did that sound dirty?
Nevermind.
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08:01 AM
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I saw him eyeballin' my wife in Tennessee, so I know he's at least got good taste.
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07:41 AM
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Well, it wasn't what you're thinkin' unless you're thinkin' I was lookin' on with admiration at her restraint and discipline...
If that was it, you're right.
January 30, 2006
My favorite line would be:
"Coming, Bear! Bear, I'm coming! (grunting)" (50kb .wav file)
GA's got plenty more text, and you can get the .wav files from The Daily .Wav archives (scroll down or CTRL+F "Bear")
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04:40 PM
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Because she's done more to encourage my naughty streak than any other blogger on the planet.
Posted by: Harvey at
03:56 PM
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Of course, that STILL leaves the question of "who's going to clean the tiger-poo out of the litterbox?"
Oh, and be sure to let her know if you've ever had the same flippin' problem she's currently suffering from.
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11:08 AM
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And that would be REALLY embarrassing.
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10:10 AM
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Nothing more.
Yet an unintended consequence of this record-keeping is that some of the members developed close personal relationships with other Family members, based in whole or in part on these "family ties".
I never saw that coming.
Even MORE startling to me is that fact that some people actually see the "Bad Example Family" as an organization of which they'd like to be a part. However, because blogparenthood implies a certain degree of mentoring and/or encouragement during a blogger's early formative period, the lack of such a relationship with a Bad Example Family member excludes them.
For the longest time, I couldn't understand why an outsider would want in. I mean, it's just a list of bloggers, right?
But lately it's occured to me that members of the Bad Example Family DO share some things in common. Some "Bad Example Family Values", if you will:
* A belief that new bloggers should be supported and encouraged.
* A belief that blogging should be fun.
* A well-developed sense of humor that has no fear of occasionally being juvenile or off-color.
* A thick skin when it comes to being teased.
* An ability to laugh at yourself.
With that in mind, it makes sense that other bloggers with similar values would want to hook up with the Family. But as stated before, there's no way to do that.
Until now.
After some discussions with blogson Contagion of Miasmatic Review, I've decided to form
Loosely based on Scottish notions of extended family, the Bad Example Clan allows those who share the Bad Example Family Values to form a community of mutual support and playfulness, united by a single name and signified by a colorful tartan banner:
and/or badge:
and/or fancy colorized version of the badge:
Here's how it works.
Like any good fraternal or sororal organization, membership involves a certain degree of ritual humiliation designed to exclude the riff-raff, so people wishing to join the Clan will have to jump through the following hoops:
1) Post an entry on your blog titled, "I Want to Join the Bad Example Clan Because". The content of the entry is left to your discretion. It can be long or short, silly or serious. It's entirely up to you.
2) Get three members of the Bad Example Family (as listed on the official Bad Example Family Blogroll in my sidebar) to vouch for your character by linking your application post.
NOTE: Bad Example Family members do NOT require approval, however, they DO need to fulfill all other requirements. And yes, that includes me. But please note that Clan membership is STRICTLY optional. Bad Example Family members are NOT required to join. Merely invited.
3) After getting your three sponsors, place the following items in your sidebar:
a) The Bad Example Clan tartan and/or badge.
b) A link to this post so that your readers can figure out what's going on. Ideally the link should be from the tartan/badge image (see this post for instructions), but a text link will suffice.
c) A fake quote attributed to me, the content of which I leave to your discretion. For example: Harvey says "[name of your blog] is a disgrace to the very concept of blogging, and I endorse this site wholeheartedly."
Preferred placement is either directly above or below the Clan tartan/badge for the sake of clarity, but anywhere will do.
4) Once your requirements are met, drop me a line at harvolson-at-gmail.com, and I will add you to the official Bad Example Clan blogroll on my sidebar.
5) THIS STEP IS STRICTLY OPTIONAL. You may, if you choose, blogroll the Bad Example Clan using the Blogrolling code:
<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript" src="http://rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?
r=9c1decfe970d25faa28f70da3e925ba8"></script>
(NOTE: I split the above code so that it would display properly in this post. When adding it to your template, it should all be on the same line)
You may also, if you choose, blogroll the Bad Example Family using the Blogrolling code found in this post.
I make this optional instead of mandatory because of my individual belief that choosing who appears on your blogroll is a personal decision, and I won't presume to interfere with it. I don't require Bad Example Family members to blogroll each other and I won't require Clan members to do so either.
Which brings me to the question you're probably asking yourself right now:
Why on earth would ANYONE choose to join the Bad Example Clan when it's obviously just a silly, pointless exercise in immature blog-cliquery with no redeeming qualities whatsoever?
My answer:
I have no freaking clue.
I mean, it's probably not going to cause any long-term increase in your readership. Only regular posting of unique and interesting content will accomplish that. If more readers is what you're after, then joining the Bad Example Clan is a complete and utter waste of time. Don't do it.
But if you'd like to declare to the world that you're a friendly, fun-loving blogger with an impish sense of humor, by all means, join in.
The Bad Example Clan would love to take you.
Which only sounds dirty.
IS TANTUM SANUS IMMUNDA
[hover mouse over motto for translation]
UPDATE 1-31-06: For those who are light on HTML skills but are valiantly attempting to redecorate anyway, judicious use of the following two tags can help make things look nicer.
The <hr> or "horizontal rule" tag - draws a horizontal line. I used it on my right sidebar to help separate my quote from the blogroll above it.
The <br> or "line break" tag - it's like hitting "enter" while writing a post. Putting two of them together will give you a line of blank space so that things don't look so run-together.
UPDATE 2-2-06: About that latin motto...
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10:07 AM
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Is due by 9pm EDT Wednesday, February 3rd. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.
Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's Spaceship
New Filthy Lie Assignment: What joint project will Evil Glenn and Google be co-operating on?
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10:00 AM
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Did you see Instapundit's post on the New Horizons probe that was launched toward Pluto? He seemed quite indifferent about the whole thing, which is - for a dweeby techno-geek like him - VERY suspicious.
Thanks to some NSA eavesdropping transcripts, I found out why Glenn was trying to avoid drawing attention to the launch beforehand. He had a sinister plot for using the New Horizons ship for his own nefarious purposes. Specifically, he's going to use it to murder hobos to curry favor with Satan in order to maintain his position as the most powerful blogger in the world (as foretold by The Prophet Frank J.).
Yeah, I know how unbelievable it sounds, but I have proof. Glenn sketched out his plan on the back of a napkin during a recent trip to the Memphis Zoo. I stole it while he was busy staring at the penguins & mumbling something about "pretty, pretty feathers".
Evidence in the extended entry with Glenn's notes in italics... more...
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08:37 AM
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I want to hold you in my arms, gently
Beyond sex and security, prestige and triumph,
To say once and for all, "I love you", and mean it
From the top of my head to the depths of my soul
This is the love that casts out fear
That makes life worth living
That takes a man and a woman on the earth and lifts them finally
Above every power or pain that could wound them
I have seen so many sights, heard so many words
But none as beautiful
As the sight and sound of a man and woman
Who say with their every act
Their eyes and all their being
"I LOVE YOU!"
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]
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07:22 AM
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(click to enlarge)
[I [heart] MY MOMMA]
It's cute if it was written by a kid.
Less cute if it was Norman Bates.
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07:17 AM
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January 29, 2006
10 Reasons My Blog Sucks
1) A good chunk of my content is recycled from previous posts.
2) Some of my recycled content wasn't even original the FIRST time I posted it. Now I'm working on the third cycle.
3) Filthy Lies? That horse I'm beating is so dead that all 305 of its bones have whip-marks.
4) Do I even realize that some bloggers have like five different links on my sidebar? Seriously, why don't I just give everyone their own freakin' blogroll and list their names ten times each?
5) The post that's linked to the "I support bloggers with boobies" pic was taken down about a year ago. Don't I *ever* clean up my sidebar or fix broken links?
6) 90% of my traffic consists of Google searches "nude Olsen twins" and/or similar indecencies. Yet I'm still in the top 300 in the Ecosystem. Porn-spam blogs like mine give blogging a bad name.
7) Several of my best blogging tips posts aren't even listed in the sidebar. Not really helpful for the newbies.
Gee, my blog could REALLY use more blue, don'tcha think? I must have a Smurf fetish or something.
9) Am I *ever* going to finish Fun Facts About the 50 States? Hell, at this rate I'll probably have to do Puerto Rico & Quebec because they'll become states before I finish.
10) That picture of me with the square head is JUST. FREAKIN'. CREEPY.
Feel free to pile on in the comments.
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10:33 AM
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I always found his tunes to be plodding, much like the musical embodiment of a person walking with a bad limp.
Thank you Jim of Parkway Rest Stop.
Of course, I could always boil it down further thusly:
Elton John = "House: The Musical"
Posted by: Harvey at
09:54 AM
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people can care, and nurture, and make you feel loved. They can put their own feelings aside in the short term and make the effort to show you love in the ways you best understand it, rather than in the ways they understand to show it. They can make you feel safe. They can be selfless enough to let you be irrationally upset, without taking it personally. They can be sensitive to your wants and needs for more/less/different types of attention. They can be inconvenienced and do it gracefully.
I've met Cat. I like Cat.
But, being a guy, it's very difficult to know how to go about showing support - even with these instructions in hand. I'm marginal at emotional nuances, at best, and I'm mostly geared toward taking some physical action. But in this case, what's requested is "being" more than "doing", which leaves me feeling frustrated, helpless, and a little guilty. My "knight in shining armor" reflex has been triggered, but there's no dragon's head to be severed to save the distressed damsel. All that remains is the scorched earth the dragon left behind.
I don't have the tools to fix this. How do I use a sword to plant a new garden?
However, what I *do* have is a swift and gallant steed. I can ride to spread the message of the destruction that's been done, in the hopes that others may know that there's a dragon in need of killing, and perhaps a gardener or two may overhear the tale, and work her magic to make Cat's blasted land green and beautiful again.
And so - with this post - I ride.
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08:06 AM
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January 28, 2006
[new note - not previously posted]
"A Kiss that's never tasted
Is forever and ever wasted."
-Billie Holiday
[Stolen from Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff]
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]
Posted by: Harvey at
06:13 PM
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