February 28, 2007
It's a short read. Give it a click.
Posted by: Harvey at
10:48 AM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.
How big will mu breasts be?
I assume that was supposed to be "my".
Anyway, the answer is:
Either too big, or too small.
Honestly, do ANY women think they have Goldilocks breasts?
"My breasts are juuuuuust right!"
Posted by: Harvey at
09:00 AM
| Comments (5)
| Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.
If "ruby lips" are a cliché, I'd like to kiss your cliché.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
08:25 AM
| Comments (2)
| Add Comment
Post contains 31 words, total size 1 kb.
(click to enlarge)
[Dwight]
In 2001, the Treasury made a half-hearted effort to get Eisenhower back on the dollar.
Posted by: Harvey at
08:24 AM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) When I get bent, it's an accident
(see extended entry for more clues)
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
08:13 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 91 words, total size 1 kb.
February 27, 2007
Well, via bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks (via Dad of Raising4boys.com), I've discovered Kids-In-Mind: Movie Ratings That Actually Work.
They break a movie down completely and specifically mention every single scene that you might have to explain to or discuss with your kids.
This does not mean that they're passing judgment or saying these movies are bad, they're just saying that forewarned is forearmed. If you read these reviews, you WILL know exactly what you're getting into if you take your kids to see a particular movie.
They also list possible topics for discussion, and the movie's overall message.
And they are THOROUGH. Here's a review for the G-rated movie, Charlotte's Web:
Dakota Fanning stars as a young girl that saves a little pig from being killed and cares for it, and they become friends. The pig also befriends a spider named Charlotte that none of the other barn animals can tolerate, and their friendship causes a chain of events that eventually has an effect on the lives of everyone. Also with Julia Roberts, Oprah Winfrey, Dominic Scott Kay and John Cleese. Directed by Gary Winick. [1:37]SEX/NUDITY 1 - A boy and a girl look at each other and smile in a few scenes, and then run off holding hands in another scene.
VIOLENCE/GORE 2 - A man picks up a piglet, and then a heavy axe, and walks out of a stall where is confronted by his daughter who protests the fact that he is going to kill the piglet (the man relents).
* A girl punches a boy in the arm. A girl tackles her younger brother who was trying to kill a spider (the boy had trapped the spider in a jar).
* A rat is chased by two crows who squawk and dive toward it: one pokes it with its beak, and the other rolls it in an empty can, but the crows crash into a refrigerator and fall in a pan of wet paint.
* A pig slams its head into a fence plank three times, until the plank falls off and the pig runs out of the yard. A rat with a yo-yo string around its neck is pulled back and onto its back when a sheep steps on the string. A goose slaps another goose on the head with its wing.
* Spiders break out of their egg sack, shoot a strand of webbing into the air and sail away in the wind. A rat pulls a spider egg sack and drops it off a ledge to the hay-covered floor where it is picked up in a pig's mouth.
* A horse faints and lands hard on the ground, and a pig faints and lands hard on the ground.
* A goose egg rolls down a rat tunnel, lands on the rat and breaks open covering the rat with goo that apparently smells really bad (the animals in the bar react to the smell). A rat falls into a tattered stove in a garbage dump.
* Two crows are frightened by a scarecrow in a field. A man drops a cleaver that nearly strikes a rat on the ground.
* A piglet squeals and thrashes while in a school desk and the girl who put it there gets in trouble. Animals call a spider many insulting names (creepy, disgusting, hideous). A pig is told that he will be killed and smoked for Christmas dinner.
* A man pours slop (gooey brown mush) into a trough in several scenes, for a pig to eat, which it does and its face and front hooves are covered with the goo; a rat also wallows in it and eats the slop.
* A cow flatulates in a couple of scenes, at one time blowing in the direction of a rat that is consequently thrown off a fence. A rat burps loudly, and a cow drools.PROFANITY 1 - 2 mild exclamations (bloody, ruddy), name-calling (stupid, hairball, creepy, disgusting, hideous).
SUBSTANCE USE - None.
DISCUSSION TOPICS - Pork, friendship, death of a loved one, kindness, patience, livestock farming, caring for others, beauty, extraordinary occurrences, thinking for yourself, being humble, the life of spiders, nocturnal creatures, childhood phases, miracles.
MESSAGE - Friendship can have an extraordinary impact on people. We are better listeners when we are children.
The only downside is that - because of their thoroughness - the site is chock full of spoilers. So you'll have to make your own decision as to whether ruining your sense of surprise is worth being prepared for your kids' inquiries.
If you have impressionable children, bookmark this site now.
Posted by: Harvey at
10:29 AM
| Comments (6)
| Add Comment
Post contains 836 words, total size 5 kb.
By you, I am swept away in a hurricane of passion.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
10:23 AM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.
(click to enlarge)
[(hand-drawn disfigurement of Lincoln's face)]
Would someone PLEASE tell Michael Jackson that he's had enough plastic surgery already?
Posted by: Harvey at
10:21 AM
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 23 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I get laid in the beginning
(see extended entry for more clues)
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
10:18 AM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 87 words, total size 1 kb.
February 26, 2007
Welcome to Fun Facts About the 50 States. I'm your host, Harvey, and - week by week - I'll be taking you on a tour around this great nation of ours, providing you with interesting - yet completely useless, and probably untrue - information about each of the 50 states.
This week, we'll be buying a new umbrella - not because we lost the old one, but because it actually wore out from constant use - as we visit Washington. So let's get started...
Washington became the 42nd state on November 11, 1889. The state's name was chosen as a long-overdue honor to America's first President... and because "wood-toothed wig-wearer" sounded a bit clunky as a state name.
Seattle is home to the world's first revolving restaurant, "The Top of the Needle", completed in 1961. Victims of a recent salmonella outbreak at the restaurant were buried in the nearby revolving cemetery "The Bottom of the Gravel Pit".
Washington's license plate has black lettering over a light blue mountain design, and features the state motto, "First 5000 tourists receive a free umbrella!".
Washington produces more apples than any other state in the nation. For some reason, Bill Gates gets twitchy when you say that in front of him.
Starbucks Coffee was founded in Seattle, Washington, in 1987. It saved the Filthy Hippie Protester industry from bankruptcy by giving it a target for it's senseless anger during the debilitating peace between the two Gulf Wars.
Washington has more glaciers than all the other 47 contiguous states combined. This tends to scare tourists away from the state, since everyone knows that if a glacier bites you, you'll slowly go insane with global warming paranoia. If you don't believe me, check Al Gore's neck for bite marks sometime.
Washington's capitol building was the last state capitol to be built with a rotunda. State capitol buildings constructed since then have used more modern architectural features, like cantilevered ceilings and indoor water slides.
Everett, Washington is home to the world's largest building - Boeing's final assembly plant. It encloses nearly 500 million cubic feet - enough to hold every Muslim terrorist in the world... if you chopped them into little pieces first... which, frankly, I don't have a problem with.
Medina, Washington is the home of Microsoft founder and multi-billionaire Bill Gates. Who just happens to own a blender big enough to chop every Muslim terrorist in the world into little pieces.
Software giant Microsoft is headquartered in Redmond, Washington. An aerial view of the corporate campus shows that the buildings are colored and arranged to form the world's largest Blue Screen of Death.
The state flag of Washington has a green background behind a picture of George Washington holding a cup of half-caf-double-shot-extra-foam-vanilla-soy cappuccino.
King County - Washington's largest county - was originally named in 1852 after William Rufus King, vice president under president Franklin Pierce. In 1986 it was "re-named" in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King. Between those times it may also have been named in honor of Stephen King, Rodney King, Billie Jean King, and possibly even Sgt. Preston's dog, for all we know.
The state flower of Washington is mildew.
Washington was the birthplace of both Jimi Hendrix (Seattle) and Bing Crosby (Tacoma). Although representing vastly different music styles, they DID collaborate to record the holiday classic, "Purple Christmas".
The oldest continually operating gas station in the US is located in Zillah, Washington. It hasn't changed much since it opened in 1873, and still accepts payments by either cash, check, or beaver pelt.
The world's first soft-serve ice cream machine is located in an Olympia, Washington Dairy Queen. It was installed in 1940 as a way to cater to a growing demand for something cold, bland, and containing more air than actual substance. Much the same desire that drives Hillary's 2008 presidential campaign today.
Residents of Washington are properly referred to as "Washingtonians", despite the widespread use of the less-favored term, "Starbucks-swilling Nirvana-moshers".
Washington is home to the only rainforests in the US. Sadly, these rainforests contain nothing but wet trees, and don't meet the minimum requirements for malaria and naked savages that would make environmentalists give a crap about them.
Europeans first landed in Washington when the Spanish ship Santiago visited briefly in 1775. The captain's log entry that day consisted only of the terse and cryptic phrase, "Smells like teen spirit".
Lewis & Clark visited Washington 30 years later in 1805. Their report was, "Smells like mid-life crisis".
Tumwater, Washington was the state's first colonial settlement. It was founded by Canadians seeking the religious freedom to worship coffee and donuts, which was forbidden by Canada's repressive Tea & Crumpetist regime.
Washington is home to such internet giants as Amazon.com, Classmates.com, and Whitepages.com, which explains why the state song is "DAMMIT! ANOTHER POP-UP!"
In the early 1900's, Aberdeen, Washington was known as "the roughest town west of the Mississippi", as it was a haven for violence, saloons, whorehouses, and gambling establishments. It was also rated the #1 tourist destination for both sailors and the Irish.
The Grand Coulee Dam on Washington's Columbia river is the largest concrete structure ever built. It contains over 12 million cubic yards of concrete - nearly enough to build a life-size statue of Ted Kennedy's drinking problem.
In 1980, Washington's Mount St. Helens volcano erupted with such violence that the top 1600 feet of the mountain were completely blown away. The sudden, cataclysmic destruction of over $1 billion in economic resources was rumored to have given Bill Gates the idea for Microsoft Windows.
Washington has a higher percentage of non-religious people than any other state, which is why so many cars there have window signs saying "Blasphemer On Board".
Washington ranks first in the nation in the production of apples, cherries, pears, and grapes, earning it the nickname of "America's Fruit Basket". The city of San Francisco has the same nickname, although for an entirely different reason.
Pictionary was invented by Ron Angel of Seattle, Washington, in 1986. According to numerous scientific studies, the game is responsible for more bad art than Picasso, Jackson Pollock, and the National Endowment for the Arts combined.
The state marine mammal of Washington is the Orca. Although some small-minded, bigoted racists refer to them as "killer whales", the term is more properly translated as "whales of peace".
The fact that they frequently kidnap and behead seals in the name of their God, Poseidon, is no excuse for not respecting their cultural differences.
Maybe those seals should ask themselves why the orcas hate them.
Actor Adam West - who played Batman in the 1960's TV series - was born in Walla Walla, Washington, in 1928. He's been quoted as saying that his least favorite part about playing the Caped Crusader was "Batpole burn".
---
That wraps up the Washington edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be doing genealogy research as we travel through the gene puddle of West Virginia.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go book my vacation to Aberdeen.
Posted by: Harvey at
11:13 AM
| Comments (5)
| Add Comment
Post contains 1213 words, total size 8 kb.
I could wish for no more than to walk through the door of your heart into the garden of your soul.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
09:57 AM
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 40 words, total size 1 kb.
(click to enlarge)
[Tip: U only Live once! make it worth it]
Hard to make it worth it when it's going to take 19 more of these just to get me a quickie lap dance...
Posted by: Harvey at
09:56 AM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I'm a four letter word that ends in I-C-K
(see extended entry for more clues)
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
09:55 AM
| Comments (4)
| Add Comment
Post contains 92 words, total size 1 kb.
February 25, 2007
I blame the officers.
We never did anything like this down in the engineering spaces.
Sure, we'd occasionally duct-tape someone to the main propeller shaft, but we did NOT do it to the tune of an internet earworm.
Anyway, via bloggranddaughter Sarah the Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs, a video of members of the Combat Systems division (the radar guys) of the USS Enterprise - my old ship ('87-'91) - performing their rendition of the Numa Numa video.
If you need to see the original for reference, click here.
Posted by: Harvey at
03:07 PM
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 111 words, total size 1 kb.
OpenCola is a brand of cola unique in that the instructions for making it are freely available and modifiable. Anybody can make the drink, and anyone can modify and improve on the recipe as long as they, too, license their recipe under the GNU General Public License.Although originally intended as a promotional tool to explain open source software, the drink has taken on a life of its own. The Toronto-based OpenCola company has become better known for the drink than the software it was supposed to promote. Laird Brown, the companyÂ’s senior strategist, attributed its success to a widespread mistrust of big corporations and the "proprietary nature of almost everything." A website selling the stuff has shifted 150,000 cans.
Sadly, the company is now dead.
Posted by: Harvey at
03:05 PM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 138 words, total size 1 kb.
You are effortlessly stylish and charming, and I burst with pride to be seen with you on my arm.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
03:05 PM
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.
(click to enlarge)
[(rubber stamp: CASHED AT LAW WITHOUT RECOURSE "Without Prejudice" UCC 1-207)]
Nice try, but if disclaimers can't protect the tobacco industry, they ain't gonna protect the Treasury.
Posted by: Harvey at
03:04 PM
| No Comments
| Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I'm the result of a boner
(see extended entry for more clues)
.
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
03:03 PM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 89 words, total size 1 kb.
February 24, 2007
Which is tragic.
Slightly less tragic, and far less comprehensible, is to blame President Bush for it:
"The men who raped her are those same security forces Bush and Condi are so proud of - you know - the ones the Americans trained."
I seriously doubt that rape techniques were included in the training.
But least comprehensible of all is to make this statement:
"There was a time when Iraqis were safe in the streets."
If they could speak, I assume that the residents of Iraq's mass graves would beg to differ.
Although perhaps the author is referring to the days BEFORE Saddam took power.
And in case anyone was wondering, we've already lost our War For Oil.
Let me clear it up for any moron with lingering doubts: ItÂ’s worse. ItÂ’s over. You lost. You lost the day your tanks rolled into Baghdad to the cheers of your imported, American-trained monkeys. You lost every single family whose home your soldiers violated. You lost every sane, red-blooded Iraqi when the Abu Ghraib pictures came out and verified your atrocities behind prison walls as well as the ones we see in our streets. You lost when you brought murderers, looters, gangsters and militia heads to power and hailed them as IraqÂ’s first democratic government. You lost when a gruesome execution was dubbed your biggest accomplishment. You lost the respect and reputation you once had. You lost more than 3000 troops. That is what you lost America. I hope the oil, at least, made it worthwhile.
Damn. Someone's bitter about SOMETHING, although I'm not quite sure what.
Anyway, for my part, I hope that the rapists are tried, convicted, and jailed. Which I think is all that really needs to be said about the story.
Posted by: Harvey at
01:26 PM
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 320 words, total size 2 kb.
Love has - in my past - been a bittersweet thing. But with you, only the latter.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
01:02 PM
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.
83 queries taking 0.1158 seconds, 266 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
