(Introduction)

If I breathe a little faster, it is because I am thinking of you with every breath I breathe, and I only want reason to think of you more.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:15 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[0160 Pepsi]

In an effort to cut the budget deficit, the US government is now accepting corporate sponsorship for nuclear missile launch codes.

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Bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has brought a bouncing baby blogdaughter into the world.

In accordance with recent Bad Example Family Tree Trunk tradition, her daughter is actually her sister.

Tink of Tink's Tribulations

Cue the banjo music.

Anyway, let's see what's in the bassinet:

Teenage thong underwear blogging? Glad I'm not HER daughter.

See that face? The kid probably knows he's being blogged about.

Auto-pyromaniacal tendencies? - check.

Wow... and I thought *I* had a horse-dog...

Pic of Mama Bug having a bad make-up day. On the bright side, even without lipstick, eyeshadow, or blush, she's still DAMN hot.

The cast of characters - The folks Tink plans to blog about. For the record, sweetie, you need to either A) link that post somewhere near the top of your sidebar for easy reference or B) put the list itself in the sidebar. Your readers will thank you, because that's a HELL of a list. Either that or learn about the ACRONYM tag.

On the pain of saying goodbye.

Does Excedrin come in IV form? Maybe with an automatic timer on the drip, like a coffee-maker?

Good question - "Now explain to me how you can get an F in art?"

How did Tink wear out her batteries? *I'm* not telling...

Chicken recipe - I'll never try it, but only because it doesn't involve microwaving something in a cardboard tray.

Next on Fox - "When Trees Attack!"

So Bug's hubby is now "Bug Brains"... does this make anyone else think of those gigantic, maggoty-looking things in "Starship Troopers"?

Some Memorial Day thoughts, with pics of her military boys. Say, is that an EM3 patch on Nuke's shoulder?

Pointing out other good Memorial Day posts.

Kid blogging. If I had a paternal bone in my body, I'd probably say something like "AWWWW! Cute!"

A little game of "hide the hairbrush", anyone?

Which only SOUNDS dirty.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

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Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: In addition to lying about his Ranger service and war atrocities, what else has Jesse MacBeth been lying about? due by 11:59pm EDT Wednesday, May 31st. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn gets dressed

New Filthy Lie Assignment: How will Evil Glenn be celebrating 6-6-6 Day?

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Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc is wondering how to start her exercise program so she can finish attaining her weight goal.

My suggestion - a two-minute workout.

Seriously.

Why?

Because:

1) It's not much, but it's still better than the nothing you're doing now.

2) "It's only 2 minutes" is a fairly convincing argument if you find yourself "not in the mood".

3) The hardest part of any exercise program is getting the habit. Once you have the habit, then it's easier to convince yourself to do more.

Doesn't matter what you do for those two minutes. Even walking in place. Just something vaguely exercise-related. You can fine-tune it later. The important thing is that your self-concept changes to "I'm a person who exercises".

Make that switch, and you win.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:00 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Great idea. However i'll start with a 10 second ex-ercise program and work my way up from there if it works out for me.

Posted by: Algo2 at May 31, 2006 11:00 AM (dhs4n)

2 ...I'm working out right now, clenching my butt cheeks together. What? Seriously, I used to work out while watching t.v. at night; it was perfect. Of course, I was younger then.

Posted by: pam at May 31, 2006 11:04 AM (l6NIn)

3 mmmm... Pam's butt cheeks... :-)

Posted by: Harvey at May 31, 2006 11:17 AM (L7a63)

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Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks has apparently had his amazing talent for song parody since he was 12.

If you're familiar with the theme song from the Spiderman cartoon, check out SpiderBill.

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(Cross-posted from IMAO)

Withered old hippy Neil Young has penned hisself a 21st century protest song, "Let's Impeach The President". Lyrics as follows:

LetÂ’s impeach the president for lying
And leading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

HeÂ’s the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
And bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

LetÂ’s impeach the president for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our governmentÂ’s protection
Or was someone just not home that day?

LetÂ’s impeach the president
For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god heÂ’s cracking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
ThereÂ’s lot of people looking at big trouble
But of course the president is clean

Thank God

Inspired by his complete inabilty to master the art of meter & rhyme after 40 years of penning pompous squeals of indignation, I've decided to write my own counter-protest song. I just hope it's clumsy and unsingable enough to become a hit with the tie-dyed intellectuals.

Let's make fun of the idiots who're lying
Trying to make our country lose the war
Abusing all the freedom of speech they have
And shipping the truth right out the door

They're the men who cheer on the terrorists
The murderers plotting behind closed doors
Leaving out facts to fit their agendas
Forgetting who struck first to start the war.

Let's make fun of the idiots who say it's spying
To listen to terrorists because they're calling from home
To other terrorists outside the country
I guess it's their right to plan killings over the phone.

They think that George Bush blew up the levees
Poor construction wouldn't make them fail that way
Don't point fingers at Ray Nagin's government
Because he couldn't find any bus drivers that day

Let's make fun of the idiots
For smearing Bush just to try to get elected
Campaigning on the politics of color
Yet still leaving black people neglected

It's sad to see these people stuck on stupid
In this war they're rooting for the enemy's team
The New York Times prints state secrets on the front page.
But they say their consciences are still clean

It's sad.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:45 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 What a retard. Northern man don't need him around either.

Posted by: og at May 30, 2006 07:15 AM (PVGJn)

2 Good one.

Posted by: pam at May 30, 2006 07:39 AM (l6NIn)

3 Nicely said...I mean sung....

Posted by: Rave at May 30, 2006 08:01 AM (Fir0Z)

4 Excellent song! And Northern Woman don't want old Neil around either... Ugh.

Posted by: Richmond at May 30, 2006 11:10 AM (e8QFP)

5 ... Harvey, that was awesome... really...

Posted by: Eric at May 31, 2006 08:26 AM (r5XsL)

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(Introduction)

Never felt this way before, never looked at a woman and thought - if civilization fails, if the world ends, I now know what God meant, as long as I'm with her.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

[(a lot of drawing on Hamilton's face)]

Would someone PLEASE tell Michael Jackson that the plastic surgery isn't helping anymore?

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1 Hahahaha! Good one!

Posted by: Richmond at May 30, 2006 11:11 AM (e8QFP)

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I've always thought you could make a fairly decent blog just by posting forwarded e-mails.

Thus the experiment:

Forward This Email

So far the only hits have been from people who accidentally ended up there from clicking the "Next Blog" button on someone's Blogger site, but it'll be interesting to see what happens once it starts turning up in Google searches.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:39 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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DAMN!

I left myself a reminder on the 26th to get her something nice, then forgot about it until this morning.

Nevertheless, I think my little Quality Weenie will enjoy her (first) 39th b-day present:

(click to enlarge)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:16 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan't make you love me any more by giving myself away like this - But oh my dear, I can't be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: US-RARECOINS.COM)]

November 2, 2009: One year after Hillary lost the Presidential race in the first unanimous electoral college vote since George Washington was elected (due in part to her now-infamous "Of COURSE I'm a lesbian" speech), and 6 months after the bitter divorce proceedings ended, Bill Clinton, once the most powerful man in the world, was reduced to rubber-stamping currency for piece-rate wages.

Oddly, no one felt his pain.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I got a link to this video slideshow via Mensa Barbie. According to the comments at the video hosting site, a lot of people liked it. I didn't. The music sounded like a rejected "Survivor" theme, and there were too many pictures of live soldiers.

Today isn't about the living. That's Veteran's Day.

Today is about the ones who didn't come home.

I don't believe in the afterlife, so I won't waste my breath saying "thank you" to the unhearing dead.

But I will say "thank you" to those who lost loved ones in America's wars.

It's not easy loving someone who's deployed. Trying to keep a family together, trying to keep your spirits up, and always, ALWAYS the fear and uncertainty.

And for some, the crushing pain - the worst possible loss.

And then the coping. The moving on. The living again. Somehow finding a way to be happy and enjoying a life of freedom in the greatest nation in the world.

Which is why they fought.

The best way to honor the memory of the dead and the sacrifices of the living is to do something you enjoy.

So go.

Do.

Enjoy.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:22 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

There is nothing that means more to me
Than the joys of life you've helped me see
With your openness and honesty
You will always have me
...and my love.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[2 Reg 1 Diet]

Evil Glenn brand Puppy Shakes - on sale at Wal-Mart: 3 for $1

Now available in new low-calorie formula, too. Mix and match, limit 3 per customer.

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I got this forwarded e-mail listing various unrealistic events found in popular movies (posted below in the extended entry).

The challenge - name one specific movie where this actually happened. Not a TV show (although movies made from TV shows are ok), and not a movie that's obviously farcical and makes zero effort to apply real-world physics, like "Airplane" or "Naked Gun".

I'm gonna need some help with this. The cliches all SEEM familiar, yet I have very few clear memories that associate a given event with a specific movie title. They just kind of blur together. I swear I've seen them all, I just can't remember where.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:54 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Life-partner (don't ask) Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks has cracked, and - after playing hard-to-get for years - is now requesting a nomination to MuNu.

Go thither and give a YAY!

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(Introduction)

Oh guide me, guide me that I may prove worthy of one so good and true, if she may be mine.

[Quote stolen and slightly modified from Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

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[Laundry]

Obviously, the woman who wrote this is still single, because when you ask a woman to name a room in her house where she performs an unpleasant chore and which contains a large, noisy, smelly vibrating machine, the married ones usually answer "bedroom".

Posted by: Harvey at 08:50 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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