Going out of town for a couple days. Internet access not expected. Probably start posting again Tuesday.

In order to enforce my usual strict decency code in the comments, I'll be using my stealthy watch-cat Amber to guard the premises.

Remember, Amber could be anywhere.

And she's watching...

Posted by: Harvey at 05:47 PM | Comments (54) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore... my face should be among them.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 05:35 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie of sorts cross-posted from IMAO)

Laura from Can't Keep Quiet took a look at logo for the Alliance of Free Blogs:

and decided that it looked a lot like a certain Nazi logo:

dropping broad hints along the way that of course a bunch of fascist right-wingers would choose a Nazi symbol to represent their organization.

Being as she's liberal, she is - by definition - completely and inarguably correct in her analysis.

In fact, it's time for Alliance to goose-step out of the closet and go with the logo that we'd REALLY like (see extended entry):

Whaddya think?

Posted by: Harvey at 09:41 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

Man, I hope you didn't waste your time watching the World Series. Saddam's trial was a LOT better. Here's part of the transcript:

Jaafar Moussawi (chief prosecuting attorney): I think I'm entitled to them.

Saddam: You want answers?

Moussawi: I want the truth!

Saddam: "You can't handle the truth!...Son, we live in a world that has Kurds, and those Kurds have to be killed by men with mustard gas. Who's gonna do it?... You?... Some Jew named Weinberg?

I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the Kurds and you curse the Baath Party. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that gassing those Kurds to death, while tragic, probably put me in the lead in Laurence Simon's Dead Pool. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, keeps President Bush OUT of the lead in Laurence Simon's Dead Pool.

You don't want the truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me to gas Kurds... you need me to gas Kurds.

I use words like mass murder, slaughter, genocide. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent killing people. You use them as a criminal charge.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who will make a fortune selling the movie rights to the story of this trial and then questions the manner in which I killed the Kurds that made this trial possible! I would rather you just said "Allah Akbar!" and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up some mustard gas and kill some Kurds. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

Moussawi: Did you gas those Kurds?

Saddam: (quietly) I did what I needed to do to get ahead in Laurence Simon's Dead Pool.

Moussawi: Did you gas those Kurds?

Saddam: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!

Posted by: Harvey at 02:45 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

True is the word of your eyes
Beauty is the beating of your heart
Love is the smile on your face
Desire is the touch of your hand

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 01:40 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: Why does the Alliance logo resemble a Nazi symbol?

Is due by 11pm EDT Friday, October 28th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Saddam Quotes

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: How should the UN's 60th birthday be celebrated?

Friday Linky Stuff

Posted by: Harvey at 09:45 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Watch "The Amazing Race"

Anytime someone says the word "go", take a drink.

If that's not enough, then also drink if someone says "hurry".

Posted by: Harvey at 05:20 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks is having the kind of bad day that makes you go "Shit... maybe my leprosy isn't all THAT bad", thus causing him to whine & moan in a most unmanly fashion.

And you know what THAT means...

HE NEEDS MORE ENEMIES!

Go antagonize him.

And if he hasn't enabled comments on first post I linked, just leave 'em at this whiny entry. He'll get 'em.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:51 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Blogdaughter/niece Sarah of That's Not Very Nice! has a stuck-at-home-mom question:

The point of this is that I need something to do until Shorty goes to school full time, and I am willing to do just about anything to pass the time and make a buck. Things I am good at are:

Cooking and baking
Quilting
Braided rag rugs
err...collecting aluminum cans
Finding and reselling antiques

Are there any ideas that anyone else has of things that I could do with my son tagging along, or stuff I could make at home that would sell well? It is kind of hard to find something that has almost no overhead, that will pay anything at all.

Outside of eBay, I'm a little light on ideas. The only reason eBay worked for me is that my product was extremely lightweight (VERY cheap shipping), and I always got it at cost (I sold currency to collectors - one of the perqs of being a bank teller).

Normally I'd suggest hitting Google, but "work at home" as a search term brings up results that are 98% shady schemes.

So, I'll let you guys pipe up.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:31 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Your voice makes me tremble inside
And your smile is an invitation
For my imagination to go wild

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 07:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[GAY MONEY]

That's money I set aside specifically for renting Tom Cruise movies.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:00 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Scott Adams, author of the Dilbert Comic strip, has been publishing a semi-occasional e-mail newsletter for several years, and I've been a loyal reader of its rare appearances. Here's a lovely quote from the latest edition:

People who are trying to decide whether to create a blog or not go through a thought process much like this:

1. The world sure needs more of ME.
2. Maybe IÂ’ll shout more often so that people nearby can experience the joy of knowing my thoughts.
3. No, wait, shouting looks too crazy.
4. I know – I’ll write down my daily thoughts and badger people to read them.
5. If only there was a description for this process that doesnÂ’t involve the words egomaniac or unnecessary.
6. What? ItÂ’s called a blog? IÂ’m there!

The bloggerÂ’s philosophy goes something like this:

Everything that I think about is more fascinating than the crap in your head.

Which pretty much nails it.

And yes, he has a blog now.

Oddly, comments are enabled.

Sadly, trackbacks are not.

Regardless, this still puts him way ahead of commentless pseudo-bloggers like Glenn Reynolds, James Lileks, and Michele Malkin.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:55 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Love comes quietlyÂ…
But you know when it is there
Because suddenlyÂ…
You are not alone anymoreÂ…
And there is no sadness in you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 06:51 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I do believe Graumagus of Frizzen Sparks turns 2 today, and I can't decide what to get him...

Something decorative?

or something practical?

Posted by: Harvey at 08:00 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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1 I'd go with something practical, cause after he has indulged, the bar-wench will look like the something decorative.

Posted by: oddybobo at October 25, 2005 10:37 AM (6Gm0j)

2 Practical, practical!

Posted by: Ogre at October 25, 2005 10:37 AM (/k+l4)

3 While torn, I've gotta go with the practical...

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 25, 2005 11:38 AM (Xe/XB)

4 Must be Matty O'Blackfive's cousin... what with the two<\b> servinbs of six beers each!!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at October 25, 2005 02:32 PM (TxRX2)

5 Come on Harvey - after all y'all have been through togther (don't forget T1G & Bou, Contagion.....) I think you should spring for both!!!! ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at October 25, 2005 07:54 PM (EL0wY)

6 oOoO decisions decisions... Thanx man!

Posted by: Graumagus at October 26, 2005 03:24 AM (xMroP)

7 Having known Grau for years I vote for neither. He wouldn't know what to do with the decorative item, and with his new job the practical would make it so he would have to quit blogging... he'd lose both of his hands.

Posted by: Contagion at October 26, 2005 07:16 AM (Q5WxB)

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(Introduction)

Each night when the day is through,
I don't ask much, I just want you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 07:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(click to enlarge)

[Did you know... This dollar as well as all others now days is not backed up by any silver or gold! This dollar exists because people believe in its validity. Do I see another depression in the future!?! Beware American $$$, invest in European $ or gold & silver]

Eh. I'm just going to invest in Nigerians.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:42 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1

Posted by: Susie at October 25, 2005 09:37 AM (a0oF7)

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Now I'm sure you've already seen these numbers in the mainstream media, so you probably don't need to read them here.

But on the off change that news coverage in your area was... skimpy... I'll post these figures (courtesy of CentCom)

Registered voters:
Jan 30th - 14.3 million voters registered
Oct 15th - 15.6 million voters registered

Numbers of polling centers:
Jan 30th - 5,677 polling centers
Oct 15th - 5,852 polling centers, with most of the new centers going to Sunni regions.

Al Anbar polling centers:
Jan 30th - 33
Oct 15th - 171 (indications are that more than 200,000 additional people voted in Anbar)

Ninewah polling centers:
Jan 30th - 88
Oct 15th - 230 (nearly 400,000 more voted this time)

Poll worker applications:
Jan 30th - 110,000
Oct 15th - 450,000

Total poll workers:
Jan 30th - 108,000
Oct 15th - 171,000

* Early projections are that more than 60 percent voted (of registered)

Voting Rights Changes Since January:

* Iraqi Security Forces guarding polling stations outside their provinces were allowed to vote.

* U.S. held detainees that had not been convicted of a crime were allowed to vote.

ELECTION SECURITY

Total attacks in Iraq:
Jan 30th - 299 attacks
Oct 15th - 89 attacks

Total polling place attacks:
Jan 30th - 108 attacks
Oct 15th - 19 Attacks

Total number of Civilians killed:
Jan 30th - 30 Deaths (34 overall)
Oct 15th - 3 Deaths (10 overall)

Total number of suicide bombers:
Jan 30th - 7
Oct 15th - 0

Security Forces:
Jan 30th - 79,116 Ministry of Interior Forces
Oct 15th - 106,112 Ministry of Interior Forces

Jan 30th - 56, 949 Ministry of Defense Forces
Oct 15th - 93, 959 Ministry of Defense Forces

Logistics:
Jan 30th - MNF-I moved most of the materials
Oct 15th - Iraqi contractors conducted most of the movement and logistics

* Voting supplies were moved into warehouses three days earlier than in January with no shortages of supplies reported (per IECI press conference)

Posted by: Harvey at 04:57 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 Great numbers. I stole them and credited them to you, but the trackback wouldn't work so here's a link to my post. http://arosebyname.blogspot.com/2005/10/statistics-101.html THANKS Harvey!

Posted by: Anna at October 25, 2005 07:45 AM (AWUMF)

2 Sorry...I was an idiot with the link!

Posted by: Anna at October 25, 2005 07:46 AM (AWUMF)

3 WOW, very interesting! I keep a link to CENTCOM on my site but haven't had time to check it out recently. This post of yours is great information, and handy info with which to counter idiot lefties who maintain that "things just get worse and worse"; all without facts, of course. Thanks for the post.

Posted by: The Redhunter at October 25, 2005 08:45 PM (TcuR4)

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Blogson GA Mongrel knows. He went to Pascagoula, MS to clean out Katrina's litter box and has posted a full report.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:22 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's Alien

New Filthy Lie Assignment: Why does the Alliance logo resemble a Nazi symbol?

Precision Guided Humor Assignment Reminder: What will be the most memorable quotes to emerge from the trial of Saddam Hussein?

Is due by 9pm EDT Wednesday, October 26th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

Posted by: Harvey at 08:46 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 07:04 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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