August 30, 2009

HOW TO STOP PROCRASTINATING EVENTUALLY

Bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos To Serendipity is having some issues with procrastination, and is asking for advice.

Here are three tricks that I use that sometimes help:

1) Procrastinate in place - have the thing you're supposed to do in front of you, then screw off. For example, if you're supposed to write a blog post, but you'd rather read a book, sit in front of the computer, open your browser to your Blogger editing page, then sit & read your book. That way if your better nature kicks in, you can just jump right onto your task.

2) "Just for 5 minutes" - Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Work on your "supposed to" project for 5 minutes. When the timer goes off, quit.

Although the idea is to get you going, don't be afraid to actually quit after 5 minutes sometimes so that your brain doesn't get that idea that this is just a trick to make you do what you're supposed to.

3) The "what's stopping me?" list - Write on a sheet of paper "What's stopping me for doing [my project] right now?", then list the reasons/excuses you're using for avoiding the work. Sometimes seeing your problems in writing makes it easier to figure out how to solve them. The added bonus is that you still get to procrastinate, because you're not actually working on the project by doing this, even though it may lead to productive activity ;-)

If you've got any other tips, please drop them in the comments.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:13 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 29, 2009

MAYBE I'M READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS

I'm looking at this picture of Obama riding his bike on vacation, sans helmet:

obama no helmet.jpg

Which is fine. I've never worn a bike helmet, myself . I weigh the odds of me having an accident which the helmet would mitigate vs. the discomfort and embarrassment of wearing a dork-bucket, and my personal balance sheet comes up "bare-headed".

More risk-averse types may come up with "my melon is way too precious, and appearances be damned!".

Which I can respect.

I always wear my seatbelt and the habit has saved from severe damage a couple times. Other people do the math different. Whatever. It's an adult choice.

So if I thought Obama was honestly just one of those "I like the wind on my scalp" kinda guys, I wouldn't care.

The thing is, he's been snapped with a tard-cap on before:

obama bicycle helmet.jpg

So what gives?

From the no-helmet story, he explains the yes-helmet decision:

"I had an internal debate," said Obama. "I knew that the AP was going to take a picture, and they were trying to portray it like Dukakis wearing that tank helmet. But I wanted to make sure that the children who saw that picture knew that even the Democratic nominee for president wears a helmet when he goes biking."

So he doesn't wear a helmet because he believes in their effectiveness as safety gear, he wears one because he wants people to THINK that's what he believes.

Does it make me a cynic to wonder what else he wants people to THINK he believes?

Because I ask myself that about every damn word that comes out of this lying socialist pig's mouth.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:04 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 28, 2009

NOW YOU'RE JUST BEING A JERK

"If one considers the people who would like a job but have stopped looking -- so-called discouraged workers -- and those who are working fewer hours than they want, the unemployment rate would move from the official 9.4 percent to 16 percent", said Atlanta Fed chief Dennis Lockhart.

Look, I hate Obama as much as the next guy, and I love stuff that makes him look bad MORE than the next guy, but this statement is just stupid.

The unemployment rate is what it is, and it's measured the way it's measured. Your little made-up fudge-factors don't change that.

I'd like it to be higher to make Obama look worse, too, but it's already Jimmy-Carter crappy, and that's good enough.

Take the gift horse, skip the dentistry.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 26, 2009

FOR THOSE WHO HOPE THAT TED KENNEDY IS BURNING IN HELL

In early 2006, Josh of Quibbles & Bits penned a vision of Ted Kennedy in the afterlife. Sadly, the Quibbles & Bits site went AWOL some time ago.

Thank God for the Internet Archive Wayback Machine.

If you have a lust for vengeance against this bloated, gin-soaked, murderous sack of socialistic crap, this is for you.

Enjoy.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:15 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 79 words, total size 1 kb.

MARY JO KOPECHNE

Also still dead.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:36 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 20, 2009

POWERTHIRST!

Finally, a serious energy drink for people seriously in need of energy!


[YouTube direct link]

And when you're done with that, there's POWERTHIRST ROCKET EDITION!.

[Caution: videos may contain language not suitable for pussies too weak to handle POWERTHIRST!]

Posted by: Harvey at 03:03 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 09, 2009

THE TRUTH ABOUT TWITTER

Via Lynn of Violins & Starships:


[YouTube direct link]

Posted by: Harvey at 05:45 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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BECAUSE I SEE IT QUOTED, BUT NEVER REPRODUCED, AND IT'S A BITCH TO GOOGLE

Officer Justin Barrett e-mailed the Boston Globe. He was later suspended.

Was it because he used an incorrect racial slur against Prof. Henry Gates, or was it because this former English teacher embarrassed the force by displaying zero mastery of the rules of English grammar and basic sentence structure?

Full text below, taken from the Boston Globe site:



Article writer, That was, by far, the worst article I've ever read. I am a former English teacher, writer, current police officer. father, husband and military veteran. You need to be corrected and I certainly hope others have attempted, for your written messages and material is so 4th grade level. I am embarassed I paid the 1.50 for the paper [rest assured, it is my aim to tell as many readers The Boston Globe and your biased reporting is both sub standard and strictly one sided]. For you are not professional and basically, your writing is ridiculous. A reader may assume, per your article, that criminals are never well-dressed with a tucked in polo [2nd paragraph] . Your defense [4th paragraph] of Gates while he is on the phone while being confronted [INDEED] with a police officer is assuming he has rights when considered a suspect. He is a suspect and will always be a suspect. His first priority of effort should be to get off the phone and comply with police, for if I was the officer he verbally assaulted like a banana-eating jungle monkey, I would have sprayed him in the face with OC deserving of his belligerent non-compliance. Further [5th paragraph], a reader may assume that crimes only happen in back alleys at 0300?! You're kidding me, right? Are you still in the 5th grade, Catholic School? That paragraph was as pathetic as jungle monkey gibberish - I might as well ax you the question. "Is this your first test at reporting?" You do not understand roles, tactics and dangers police officers face, as apparently you think no one wearing a polo might possess a firearm or knife on his/her person. Might you fathom a woman could be a criminal? Or are criminals all hairy, dirty, stinky, mean looking ugly men? You are a hot little bird with minimal experiences in a harsh field. You are a fool. An infidel. You have no business writing for a US newspaper nevermind detailing and analyzing half truths. You should serve me coffee and donuts on Sunday morning. My last point counters your final 2 paragraphs, in which you state Gates is "this immensely famous expert on race" - you really have to be kidding me? Famous for what? Expert why and says who? What has he done for me and my family? What has he done for the law enforcement community or military veterans or to secure freedoms and our borders in this country? What has he done to help limit and reduce my income tax? He has proven to work to get himself attention and become a wealthy lecturer. He lectures students on the subject of racial ethics and profiling. Jee whiz. I must attend that lecture lest I lose my identity and right to free speech and the right to celebrate God and beliefs as I see fit. I am not a racist. but I am prejudice towards people who are stupid and pretend to stand up and preach for something they claim is freedom when it is merely attention because you do not receive enough of it in your little fear-dwelling circle of on-the-bandwagon followers. You mention Gates' charges were dropped but that it was too late to stop the damage? Damage? Still kidding? You need to serve a day with the infantry and get swarmed by black gnats while manning your sector. Or you just need to get slapped, look in the mirror and admit, "Wow. I am a failure. I am a follower. Who am I kidding?" Again, I like a warm cruller and hot Panamanian, black. No sugar. Your final statement reads, "Gates, whose great success has allowed him to transcend the racial divide-" to which I ask, when did he transcend? He indeed has transcended back to a bumbling jungle monkey, thus he forever tremains amid this nation's great social/racial divide that makes it a free and great nation mixed with crazy and awkward differences. Go ahead, ax me what I think? Gates is a goddamned fool and you the article writer simply a poor follower and maybe worse, a poor writer. Your article title should read CONDUCT UNBECOMING A JUNGLE MONKEY - BACK TO ONE'S ROOTS. JB


I'm sure he's a fine cop, he's just a lousy writer.

On the bright side, his spelling is fine except for a couple typos.

And having carefully parsed his use of the term "jungle monkey", I suspect that this may actually have no racial connotations from him, since he also applies the term to the poor writing skills of Boston Globe columnist Yvonne Abraham, who doesn't appear to have had a single African ancestor in the last 10,000 generations of her family. It may be just his personal metaphor for "an ignorant and oafish person".

Posted by: Harvey at 03:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 856 words, total size 5 kb.

WHAT'S IT LIKE TO HEAR OBAMA SPEAK?

(Cross-posted from IMAO. Drink alert in effect in the comments section over there.)

Senator Max Baucus (D-MT):


[YouTube direct link]

"It's just so wonderful to hear him speak, it's like a symphony"

Yeah... that's ONE analogy. Let's try some more.

Listening to Obama speak is like...

... that eternally long half-second between when you realize you're going to hit the car in front of you, and the first musical tinklings of glass & metal.

... accidentally hitting "delete", then accidentally hitting "yes" on the "are you sure?" dialog box.

... pouring milk on your cereal and watching earwigs float to the top.

... passing an exit, rounding a curve, and joining a 12-mile traffic jam.

... fumbling for a light switch and finding a wall socket

... hearing that creaking, ripping sound a tree branch makes as it separates from the trunk prior to coming through your roof.

... a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced..

... noticing the empty toilet paper roll before standing up instead of before sitting down.

... dropping a butcher knife, but keeping it from hitting the floor with a deftly-executed blade-first catch.

... hearing that awful tearing sound that inevitably accompanies stuffing 10 pounds of arrogant into a 5 pound bag.

... watching the First Lady serve soup to homeless people while wearing $540 shoes.

... listening to something with angry German facial hair... not sure what, exactly...

What's it like for you?

Posted by: Harvey at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 08, 2009

BECAUSE I LIKE DONUTS & CAPITALISM - UPDATED 8-9-09

Psycho Donuts has been getting protested by "mental health advocates" who don't like the name.

It occurs to me that an endorsement from the President is good for sales, so I pulled a few strings and got The One to endorse this beleaguered establishment:

Obama Psycho Donuts.jpg
"I love Psycho Donuts!"

UPDATE:

Blogless Brother Tom found another pic of Obama grabbing a box of his favorite deep-fried, dough-based dessert products:

Psycho Donuts Barack Michelle Obama.jpg

I guess Barry is a bigger fan than I thought.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE AMERICAN OGLING INSTITUTE

According to a new study, men spend 43 minutes a day staring at women.

I assume the number is so low because most men don't have a line of sight to my wife.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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August 07, 2009

Cello Rap

At lunch with Beloved Wife & Richmond of One For The Road, the eternal question arose - has anyone ever mixed rap with cello music?

The answer is yes:


[YouTube direct link]

Not saying it's great. Just saying it exists.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

August 04, 2009

NO, SERIOUSLY

michelle obama old bedsheets.jpg

I have a set of sheets exactly like that.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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