I've been chatting with Sticky Notes about whether Hezbollah is passing out fake $100's, and, as I said earlier, I'm not inclined to believe they're fake.

But if that money IS genuine, that leads me to another thought:

That cash is a few years old, and it's still in like-new condition. Whoever is bankrolling this operation is well-funded enough to let large stacks of US currency sit around untouched for years.

This is no grass-roots relief effort. There's a major player involved. Who that might be, I don't have enough information to speculate on, but it narrows down to a question of "what source of Hezbollah funding could afford to sit on hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars in cash without needing to spend it?"

Whoever it is needs to have their assets frozen until they decide that terrorism is not a good investment.

Interestingly enough, Sticky Notes speculates that if they ARE fake (which I admit they might be - I can't tell for sure without actually touching them), she might have a guess as to their source.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:44 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 193 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Replace "freeze their assets" with "make them need that money to replace the infrastructure wiped out courtesy of the USAF" and I agree wholeheartedly.

Posted by: Graumagus at August 26, 2006 11:35 PM (C99u6)

2 Oh... that's what I meant... sorry about the typo :-)

Posted by: Harvey at August 27, 2006 09:30 AM (L7a63)

3 Harvey, I just noticed this article, so sorry for not responding sooner. I don't think it's fair to characterize the posts at Snapped Shot as being made "just for the sake of 15 minutes" of fame. I raised a question about this latest "charity" based on Hezbullah's potential criminal history, and followed up as more information came in. As you'd see, if you looked over the website, I quickly retracted *every single one* of my allegations about the counterfeiting, as you and others who are more knowlegable about currency than I am commented and provided counter-examples. (I don't readily carry $100 bills, so I wasn't in a position to do any comparisons by myself.) The fact that Frum cited my website as definitive proof that the money was counterfeit had nothing to do with me—he did so for reasons which only he can explain. He certainly made no attempt to contact me before publishing his article! Check out the latest article on Snapped Shot—a journalist *in Lebanon* has written with details about Hezbullah's financial operations which further invalidate my suppositions about counterfeiting—all of which has been posted as breaking news on Snapped Shot. (your blog is mis-interpreting my URL and rejecting it as spam. Replace the "----" in the following hostname with "shot" to hit the link http://www.snapped----.com/archives/115-Mike-Hornbrook-from-CBC-Hezbullah-Cash-is-REAL.html 15 minutes, indeed... Regards, Brian

Posted by: Brian C. Ledbetter at August 31, 2006 02:05 PM (Pkdud)

4 Urgh. Good ol' browser address cache. I meant to reply to your OTHER article, "IS THERE ANYTHING PEOPLE *WON'T* SAY TO GET THEIR 15 MINUTES?" http://badexample.mu.nu/archives/194455.php Sorry for the mixup! Regards, Brian

Posted by: Brian C. Ledbetter at August 31, 2006 02:08 PM (Pkdud)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

After successfully completing level 1, I realized how addictive this game might be, so I quit while I still had the willpower.

Play Parking Perfection at your own risk.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:34 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

A kiss is just another reminder that two heads are better than one.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 08:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Brianna]

With a name like that, she'll probably grow up to be either a hooker or a pop star. Like there's a difference.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) What is the name of the recycling plant that Mr. Burns started?

3) Who is also known as "The Listen Lady"?

4) What is the unicorn's name in "Simpsons Bible Stories?"

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:53 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 60 words, total size 1 kb.

2754 (91.9%) of 2,996 Victims have been Assigned to Honor.

If you've been on the fence about volunteering for this project, now would be a good time to get some grass under your feet.

I considered doing one myself, but decided against it because my feelings about 9/11 are completely rooted in blood-boiling rage, and I'm concerned that I couldn't keep that in check sufficiently to make a post with the theme of honoring one of the fallen.

Nevertheless, it's a worthy project, so I'm spreading the word.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:13 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 104 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)
[new note - not previously posted]

How blessed I am that I can walk beside you, lean upon you, and live within the warmth of your love.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 07:44 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 36 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

[(very damaged penny)]

Here's how I do it: Put the penny in, wait 60 seconds, pull the penny out. If it looks like this, then the coffee's ready.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:43 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) When Itchy shot a rocket to the moon, what did he attach to it?

3) What Springfield channel is the public access channel?

4) What is the slogan of the Springfield access channel?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:39 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

I think it's wonderful that citizens are aware of the terrorist threat, but recently there have been several false alarms turned in by folks who obviously aren't qualified to spot terrorists. For example:

Cargo container full of explosives in Seattle!... just dirty rags.

1000 cell phones bought by Arabs for explosive triggers!... just buying them cheap to re-sell later.

Crazed jihadi hijacks plane with napalm!... just a claustrophobic grandmother with a jar of vaseline.

Are YOU qualified to spot terrorist threats? Take this short quiz and find out:

1. 12 men are huddled together whispering to each other. They are.
a) Terrorists
b) A football team about to get a 5-yard penalty
c) The Disciples killing time waiting for Jesus to get back from Starbucks with their morning coffee.

2. Someone sits at a workbench, alternately mumbling curses and prayers to himself as he sticks wires into high explosives. This is:
a) Terrorist activity
b) Just another day at Industrial Light & Magic
c) The ever-optimistic Wile E. Coyote

3. An angry, bearded man shakes his fists and ululates at the sky. He is:
a) A terrorist
b) Harvey stepping on a nail
c) Al Gore giving a speech

4. A stray dog wanders up to you as you sit at an outdoor cafe. You should:
a) Suspect that terrorists have strapped explosives to it
b) Change tables - your shoes are both expensive and not drool-proof
c) Angrily send the dog back into the kitchen, complaining that you specifically ordered "well done".

5. You see a piece of unattended luggage at the airport. It's probably:
a) A terrorist's explosive device
b) A clue in some stupid race-around-the-world reality show
c) Odo doing undercover work

6. Middle-Eastern men are taking surreptitious camera-phone pictures near a national landmark. They are:
a) Gathering intelligence for a future terrorist attack
b) Just dorky tourists who are too cheap to buy a REAL camera
c) Gathering photos for later uploading to their hotnakedankles.com porn site

7. You open a package and notice a white, powdery substance. This is a case of:
a) A terrorist anthrax assault
b) The post office brutally mishandling your order of Enzyte
c) You forgetting to wash your hands after scattering lime over the shallow graves in your basement

Score as follows:

a - 1 point
b - 2 points
c - 3 points

Grading:

1-6 points: Either you suck at math or you skipped a question.

7-11 points: You're far too twitchy to be trusted with our national security. Lock yourself in a closet with a Louisville Slugger, ya big scaredy-cat!

12-16 points: Your finely-honed sense of danger is balanced with a generous dollop of common sense. America needs more people like you. An Army recruiter will be contacting you shortly.

17-21 points: Fictional characters? Dog-eating? Hiding bodies? You're a criminally insane psychotic freak. A danger to yourself and others. A Marine recruiter will be contacting you shortly.

22 or more points: CHEATER!

So... how did you do?

NOTE: Please be aware that scoring 22 or more points may cause you to be contacted by the DNC's "Get Out the Vote" committee.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:35 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 537 words, total size 4 kb.

(Introduction)
[new note - not previously posted]

As a pen is used to write words of love, so does your love write the meaning of those words on my soul.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 01:32 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Jesus died 4 u so He wouldn't have to live w/o u]

After discovering what the replacement phrase would be, the ACLU decided it could live with "IN GOD WE TRUST".

Posted by: Harvey at 01:31 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 29 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) The monstrous truck at the Monster Truck Rally is called what?

3) What is on the back of every Happy Sumo restaurant menu?

4) What is the state motto of the state Springfield is in?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 01:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

Blogson Mike the Marine of From The Halls To The Shores asked me to check out this burgeoning controversy at Hot Air about possible Hezbollah counterfeiting.

I've had 7 years of doing nothing but fondling currency all damn day as a bank teller, and I ran the vault for 4 of those years. Somewhere around $1 million a month passed through my hands.

And not just idly. I inspected those bills closely.

Not looking for counterfeits so much as looking for errors. They're worth a bit to collectors, and I've found and sold my share.

And yes, I've spotted a few counterfeits, too. Some good, some poor.

Anyway, my analysis.

Re: Hot Air & Sticky Notes - The placement of the treasury seal is under such loose tolerances so as to be practically random. As long as as it's not either so far off as to touch other design elements, the BEP (Bureau of Engraving & Printing) will usually let it slide. One extreme example of sloppiness that I found in circulation:

(click to enlarge)

Minor shifts mean nothing.

Also, why all this fuss about squinting at signatures? Try looking at the serial numbers. The first letter tells you which series they are. If it starts with "A", it's the 96 series. It's a "B" it's a 99 series, etc.

More on that at the US Paper Money Info site.

Anyway, by squinting at those horrible pictures, I think I see a "B", and I also think I see Lawrence Summers' dark little scrawl at the bottom, making it a series 99. Which, as you can see at the link, didn't even start get printed until October of 2000, and the last of them rolled off the presses in March of 2002

Which sounds old, and it's making people suspicious because it looks like new currency. But it's NOT suspicious. New currency doesn't just pour out into the streets the day after it comes off the presses. Mostly it sits in vaults at the Federal Reserve banks until they run short of circulated currency, at which point it's shipped to local banks. Local banks don't like handing out new currency either, because it sticks together - increasing the likelihood of counting errors. So it likewise sits in vaults until circulated currency runs short.

Also consider that these bills are part of large cash payments. People who handle these sorts of transactions don't handle individual bills. They count them once, put them back in their paper currency straps, and wait until they need to pay someone else a big pile of cash. The new recipients do the same. Again, this cash mostly sits for months or years until it's needed, unlike the cash in your wallet. Its crispness is not suspicious at all.

Re: Commoner Sense - That man is getting handed at most $2000. Trust me, I know how thick a stack of 100 new $100 bills is.

Re: Little Green Footballs - Those are photocopies for tracking serial numbers. There's no green in the Treasury seal or the "100" in the lower right corner, and this is a color photograph.

Re: Snapped Shot - The lack of a security strip is inconclusive. Here's the photo:

(click to enlarge)

Here's a comparison bill:

(click to enlarge)

Even with a large, clear scan, the strip is hard to spot unless you know it comes straight down through the "I" in America. The first picture isn't necessarily clear or well-lit enough to spot the strip.

About this: "Thomas and Marcie write via e-mail that, not only should a portion of the security strip be visible towards the top of the bill in Photo #9, but that in Photo #15, the green color is brighter than a bill would normally be at that angle. Furthermore, on the backs of the bills, the semi-circle appears too green."

The color of the green ink varies tremendously during a print run, from very dark green to medium green, depending on when the printer's rollers were last inked. This variation means NOTHING.

Re: More Snapped Shot - "another commenter has indicated that bills, when placed in stacks, should show some separation at the edges, as the currency is printed on more of a cloth material, than on thread. This is still under investigation."

A pack of spanking new bills nestles together seamlessly. They HAVE, after all, been pressed tightly together by high speed machinery during the packing process. It can - and does - still hang tight even after some handling, which is why tellers hate new currency.

But without a video, I really can't tell.

So these bills MAY be fakes, but from what I've seen, ALL of the people saying so are using the wrong evidence to try to prove it.

If I'm missing any other evidence in need of debunking, let me know.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:33 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 908 words, total size 7 kb.

Frank J scored himself an interview with an Italian newspaper, where he blathered on and on about the beauty of IMAO. Here's the English to Italian to English translation.

What makes ME happy is that my Reuterrific picture of Unlucky Beirut Woman lamenting the attack on Smurf Village was one of the pictures used in the article (scan of the article - in the original Italian - available here (272k file).

Posted by: Harvey at 07:49 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 79 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Love is when thoughts of but one woman fill your heart, when she means more than life to you, when you know you would do anything for her and shall die if she is taken from you. Desire is when you ache to see her and touch her, when she causes your body to burn and tremble.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 05:47 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 72 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Told you so Ben]

For years, Franklin when on and on about how he "had that $1 bill gig sewn up", so George couldn't resist the urge to talk a little trash once the bill assignments were finally posted.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:46 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) What is Marge's name short for?

3) Besides the yellow & black warning stripe, what else is on the door to Homer's workstation?

4) What does Otto the bus driver call his dad?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 60 words, total size 1 kb.

I think I've made it through my blogroll twice since the beginning of July. You may have noticed a dearth of comments. Or possibly just forgotten that I existed. Either way, it's about time for a lame excuse.

Having completely failed to make a living at blogging, I made the decision to go back to the "career" I had before tellering - pizza delivery.

CONS:

* Low prestige
* Not a gold star on my resume
* My evenings & weekends are shot Wed-Sun
* No vacation
* No benefits

PROS:

* No office politics
* My boss is a stand-up guy
* I look like a superstar just for showing up as scheduled
* It pays better than the bank
* No one is EVER unhappy to have the pizza guy ringing their doorbell.

Since Beloved Wife TNT & I have opposing schedules now, what little time we have together is spent together. Blogging has to take a back seat.

Meanwhile, I'm posting more at IMAO, since there's some degree of compensation involved.

Also, IMAO has opened up a Cafe Press merchandise shop, and I've designed a few items specifically for people who are desperately unfond of terrorists. Take a look if you're so inclined. I've moved some of my old designs over there, too. Also, be aware that new designs are added from time to time, so you may want to keep checking back.

Finally, I'm working on a new, all-original series of Love Notes. Well, as original as can be expected for a topic as overworked as love, but all fresh out of my head, nonetheless. My goal is to have 365 of them so that I'm all set for 2007. I'm somewhere around 160 right now, plugging along steadily at 3 per day, which pace may or may not get ramped up.

When they're all done, I'm planning on publishing the collection. Possibly on paper, definitely in electronic format. Since I seriously doubt whether I could gain the attention of an established publishing house, I'm researching the feasibility of self-publishing. My initial impressions are that it'd be faster, easier, and cheaper and far less risky that way, so I'm leaning in that direction.

After that, there'll likely be a 2008 edition. Also, I want to finish, polish & publish the "Fun Facts About the 50 States" material, and possibly collect my Blogging Tips essays into something coherant.

Now... I'm looking back over the last 3 paragraphs and thinking to myself, "Self... You're nuts. Stop this foolishness and go get a nice, safe, 9-to-5 job as an office drone somewhere. Something secure with vacation, a 401k, and a dental plan."

Which is probably good advice.

Except that recently I found Refractional Darkness linking this little animation about the joys of office work, and I can't get that weeping cat out of my head.

Maybe I *am* nuts, but there ARE worse things.

So... will I ever be able to get back to making regular visits to the people I love? I honestly don't know. I'd like to. I feel empty, lonely and disconnected sometimes because I've fallen out of people's lives. But I can't promise anything.

Meanwhile, if you post something that you think I should see, please e-mail me a link or drop an off-topic comment on any handy post. Especially about birthdays, anniversaries, blogiversaries, and other celebratory occasions.

I miss you guys.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:01 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 587 words, total size 4 kb.

(Introduction)

With each glance into your beautiful eyes, I fall in love over and over again.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 05:42 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.