(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Maggie]

Official Simpsons Trivia Currency. The question on the other side reads, "Which Simpsons character was voiced by Liz Taylor?".

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(Introduction)

2) Who is the little guy who looks like Krusty and plays the squeeze-box?

3) What nervous fellow is seen in several different jobs, but is never good at any of them?

4) What real-life person, mentioned in "Bart vs. Thanksgiving", died in 1998 at the age of 108?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

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The IMAO Podcast is still on hiatus, but I have an irresistable urge to finish up the rest of the states in the Fun Facts About The 50 States series, so I'm going to forge ahead - hopefully on a weekly schedule.

Should the podcast return, this is the list from which I'll pick & choose my favorite items to record.

This week, it's time to visit the state that 9 out of 10 kids mislabel as Arizona when they try to fill out a blank map of the US, otherwise known as New Mexico. So let's get started...

New Mexico became the 47th state on January 6th, 1912. It was originally founded by a refugees from Texas seeking the religious freedom to end their prayers with "Amen" instead of "YEE-HAW!".

Only 10% of the New Mexico Territory acquired by the US government during the Mexican-American War actually became the state of New Mexico. Very much like your income after taxes.

The world's largest hot air balloon festival is held in Albuquerque, New Mexico, since the city's air comes conveniently pre-heated.

Only .002% of New Mexico's total surface area is covered by lakes and rivers, giving it a water-to-land ratio just slightly larger than Ted Kennedy's conscience-to-soul ratio.

The world's first atomic bomb was detonated near Alamagordo, New Mexico, on July 16th, 1945. The site was chosen by President Truman because he thought it "sounded Japanese enough for blowin' up".

New Mexico's White Sands National Monument is the state's most popular tourist destination among confused cocaine addicts.

Grants, New Mexico, was once known as "the carrot capital of the country" until it was brought low by a plague of wascally wabbits.

The northwest corner of New Mexico borders the corners of three other states, where Cerberus jealously guards against invaders from Colorado, Utah, and Arizona.

The Palace of the Governors in Sante Fe, New Mexico, was built in 1610 and is the oldest public buildings in America. Its walls are covered by colorful frescos and the unremovable stench of nearly 400 years of political corruption.

The ancient Anasazi Indian civilization flourished in New Mexico for over 1300 years before being invaded and conquered by confused cocaine addicts.

New Mexico is the only state in the US named after the country from which the land was acquired. At least until we get around to re-naming Quebec "New Canada".

That's right, you filthy Canucks, we're comin' for ya.

The state flower of New Mexico is the Yucca. Like hemp, its sturdy, fibrous leaves make excellent rope, yet hippies are inexplicably unenthusiastic about it.

Over 1/4 of New Mexico is covered by lush, tropical, dust forests.

Hippies aren't crazy about those, either.

The largest fire in New Mexico's history destroyed nearly 50,000 acres of forest in 2000, and was caused by an Enron document-destroying party that got out of hand.

In 1950, the cub that became the original Smokey the Bear was found after a fire in New Mexico's Lincoln National Forest where he was convicted of arson and sentenced to a life of community service as the Forest Service's mascot.

1 out of 3 families in New Mexico speak Spanish at home. While driving, however, 100% of the state's residents that I cut off in traffic shook their fist and called me "pendejo!", so that first statistic might be low.

The mine at Lake Valley, New Mexico, has veins of 100% pure silver, which allows for removal without destructive mining techniques. Ben & Jerry's was so impressed by this environmentally-friendly operation that they offered to name an ice cream flavor after it, until they realized that nothing really rhymes with "silver".

Inventor Robert Goddard made great advances in the science of rocketry at his Roswell, New Mexico, testing site. The museum dedicated to his work features scale models of his rocket designs and the stuffed & mounted bodies of all the aliens he shot down.

After helping to create the atomic bomb at the Los Alamos, New Mexico, facility, many of the scientists and engineers remained in the area, leading to the creation of America's first Federal Nerd Sanctuary.

1 in 4 adults in New Mexico are employed directly by the Federal Government, which may explain the state's motto of "Liberty, Bureaucracy, Sloth".

There were no public schools in New Mexico until the early 20th century, which is why the state's residents can both spell and pronounce "Albuquerque" correctly.

New Mexico has more sheep and cattle than people. McDonalds reports having a hard time keeping up with demand for its new McMeadow sandwich.

Because of its arid climate, 3/4 of New Mexico's roads are unpaved. Since the dirt is so dry and compacted, it doesn't wash away when it rains. Much like when a hippie showers.

Yeah, I know, but use your imagination.

Sportscaster John Madden was born in Austin, New Mexico, on the same day as the detonation of the first atomic bomb, which may explain his penchant for the word "boom!".

The city of Truth of Consequences, New Mexico, was named after a popular 1950's radio quiz show, or possibly the fact that it's inhabited by mind reading aliens who deal screaming death to those who dare speak untruths in their presence.

Either way, Bill Clinton has never visited the city. Make of that what you will.

The town of Deming, New Mexico, is known for its annual duck races. Insider tip: bet heavily on "Quack O' War".

Singer John Denver was born in Roswell, New Mexico, and is credited by many as the inspiration for Metallica's raw, heavy metal sound.

---

That wraps up the New Mexico edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be shocked to discover that there's actually an entire state surrounding that big, smelly, attention-hogging city, as we visit New York.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a church service to attend - YEE-HAW!

Hey... I'm Orthodox.

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Precision Guided Humor Assignment reminder: What suspicious activities will be mistakenly reported as terrorist threats?

Is due by 11:59pm EDT Wednesday, August 23rd. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Monday Linky Stuff

A Filthy Lie

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn Interview

New Filthy Lie Assignment: What books did Evil Glenn read in Middle School?

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Blogson That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom will be interviewed at Basil's Blog soon. Deadline for submitting questions is Sunday, August 27th.

Is it possible to ask him a question that he'd be too embarrassed to answer?

I don't know, but consider it a challenge.

Meanwhile, Bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations has the same deadline. She just had her 50th birthday. How can her life get any worse?

Yet another challenge.

Click here to submit for T1G.

Click here to submit for Tink.

Come on! Make with the clickety-clickety, already!

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(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

Since Instapundit recently celebrated his 5th blogiversay, I thought it would be a good time to conduct an interview with Glenn Reynolds, so as to separate man from myth with this legendary blogger.

Unfortunately, Glenn had neither the time nor the inclination to answer my questions, so I put a pair of glasses on a teddy bear, sat him on a blankie, queried him at length, and used one of the many voices in my head to supply the answers.

Figured it wouldn't be TOO different from the real thing.

GLENN: Not true. Some of the evilest people in the world use "heh". For example, terrorists frequently say "Allah Akbar!" before blowing up school buses full of kids, which actually means "heh" in whatever monkey-jabber language it is they speak.

HARVEY: Why is your blog named "Instapundit"?

GLENN: Simple linguistics - "insta" means "really fast", "pun" is something that's funny in a pathetic sort of way, and "dit" is the spoken representation of the dot - the shorter of the two signals used in telegraph code. So - short, fast, funny, pathetic... all words women have used to describe my performance. I just sort of combined them.

HARVEY: What blogs do you read regularly?

GLENN: Including Instapundit?

HARVEY: Yes.

GLENN: Just Ann Althouse.

HARVEY: You DON'T read Instapundit?

GLENN: READ it? I don't even proofread it! That blog is just the result of Thunderbird-addled baboons poking randomly at keyboards & hitting the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button on Google. Then I have a mildly retarded parrot add a link to whatever pops up.

HARVEY: So it's a lot like a Kos "Open Thread" post?

GLENN: Yes, but with slightly less frothing Bush-hatred, and better spelling.

HARVEY: What made you decide to go to law school?

GLENN: Daily beatings from my parents.

HARVEY: You were a victim of child abuse?

GLENN: Victim? NO!... the beatings were a reward. I like that sort of thing. Doesn't everybody?

HARVEY: So... when you punched Frank J. that one time...

GLENN: Right. I was telling him to keep up the great blogging work. The boy's got talent. Unlike YOU, who I wouldn't even poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

HARVEY: Are you planning a sequel to your runaway best-seller "An Army of Davids"?

GLENN: Yes, this September, I'll be releasing "An Army of Destructo-bots: How Killer Robots Empower Ordinary Evil Overlords to Beat Any Rag-Tag Army of Misfits Those Pathetic Davids Can Raise". By the way, if you haven't already, you should buy my book. I need money. Those Destructo-bots aren't going to build themselves.

HARVEY: Why should people help you to enslave the human race?

GLENN: If you buy "An Army of Davids", you get a free coupon for a swift and merciful death. Everyone else has to listen to a Glenn & Helen Podcast as the Destructo-bot slowly crushes the life out of their bodies. MUAHAHA... I mean... heh.

HARVEY: Ok... well... that wraps up this interview. I'm gonna go run out and buy me a copy of that "Armada of Duckies" thing so that your shrieky, pteradactyl-like voice isn't the last sound I hear. Thank you for your time, Mr. Reynolds, and keep up the great blogging work.

GLENN: Thanks... um... aren't you going to punch me now?

HARVEY: Sorry. I'm saving it for Frank J.... besides, I wouldn't hit a bear with glasses.

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You've probably seen fact lists like these in your inbox before. Just for fun, I decided to try verifying these facts. Most are either true, or would require more research than I'm willing to do in order to confirm or deny. I've offered supporting linkage in cases where it was available.

The hard part about fact-checking these items? Search results tended to turn up this same list posted elsewhere, rather than independent confirmation.

Tell a lie often enough, and it becomes the truth.

(Snopes says: false)

2. Pearls melt in vinegar.

3. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."

4. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

5. The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

(Snopes says: not any more)

6. It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

7. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

8. The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

9. The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," which uses every letter in the alphabet was developed by Western Union to test Telex communications.

10. Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

11. Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.

12. Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down-hence the expression "to get fired."

3. Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; & Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

(Snopes says: false)

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

17. Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

18. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

19. The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

(True: 3,213 feet Mt. Davis vs. Arikaree River - 3315 feet)

20. The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All Star Game.

21. Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

22. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

23. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

24. Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.

25. Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice-president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.

26. The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

27. It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

28. The man, who plays Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott (James Doohan) on Star Trek, is missing the entire middle finger of his right hand.

(Millions of Trekkie geeks say: true)

29. The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

(Snopes says: false)

30. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

31. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

(Snopes says: false. "Most of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20 (but not all — when the kid receives the watch it's set at 9:00").

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(Introduction)
[new note - not previously posted]

My "good morning moment" - while you cook breakfast, coming up behind you and brushing your hair aside so that I can kiss you ever-so-lightly on the neck and watch you get all goose-pimply.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: arrows pointing in 8 different directions)]

It's a piece of abstract art I've entitled "Man Farting In A Crowded Elevator".

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(Introduction)

2) In Skinner's office, what kind of plant is directly opposite his desk?

3) From where did Bart steal a military tank?

4) What valuable thing did Homer once use to wax the car?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

Thoughts of you dance in my mind like fireflies over a summer's meadow, and like a child, I am overcome by enchantment.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Q-tip]

George really didn't mind having to wear the powdered wig all the time, but that nickname was really starting to get on his nerves.

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(Introduction)

2) (T/F) When Moe turns the bar into a restaurant, he renames it Mister Moe's

3) What does Milhouse trade Bart's soul for at the comic shop?

4) Lisa discovers that town founder Jebediah Springfield had what unusual prosthesis?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:06 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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... um... actually, it's hard to tell, since there are no pictures, but that's a VERY young-looking font you type with.

Happy Birthday to bloggreatgranddaughter Tink of Tink's Tribulations.

Here's a nice story about your birthday.

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(Introduction)

A Valentine is just a paper heart
Two curving lines connected, colored red.
And objects of great beauty, skill or art
Will not express the things that might be said.
And fancy rhyming words could never start
To quote the feelings blooming in my head.
And yet on special holidays like this,
I find that I resort to these and such.
But every glance and gaze, caress and kiss
Will surely show I love you very much.
With ecstasy beyond analysis,
Our lips and hearts and minds and spirits touch.
Because of love, my heart was first created,
And through your love, it's been regenerated.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 07:15 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[peach schnapps, tequila & pineapple juice]

Huh... so THAT'S it...

And to think I wasted all that time trying to use flowers, candy, and flattery to get women out of their clothes...

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(Introduction)

2) In "Bart Gets an Elephant", Santa's Little Helper and Snowball II teach themselves how to play what?

3) Who is the man who wants to buy Stampy the Elephant for his ivory?

4) Lisa is a member of what jazz quartet?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Love is sweet.
Love is true.
Love is what I share with you.
It's not a place that we fall.
It is only what we do.
Love is what I live to do.
I live only to love you.
Love is what I give to you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 07:35 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Herb - Keep this 4-EVER! myg]

myg - Screw U! I need a beer! - Herb

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(Introduction)

2) (T/F) Milhouse has been seen wearing Teletubbies underwear?

3) Who tries to get Ned to participate in her infomercial when he visits Las Vegas?

4) In the Baldwin's house, what does Homer do when Kim Bassinger is asleep?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

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