Ah... THAT'S why the duct tape I used in the Navy was so much better than the crap I buy in the store.

Like indulging in a bottle of fine wine, I think everyone should try nuclear-grade duct tape at least once.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:46 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

Despite the European Union's numerous offers of flowers & candy, Iran's lunatic president Imabigdweeby (or whatever his name is) still refuses to stop enriching uranium.

Need to put a stop to that.

So I recommend sending in the Double Secret British Special Forces Commando Team to shut them down with some of their patented pacification techniques, which include such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to World Peace, and possibly one or more of the following:

* Soundly ignore any and all Iranian complaints about dead parrots.

* Wear high heels, skip and jump, press wildflowers, put on women's clothing and hang around the gates of the facility waiting for a chance to sneak in and blow it up with the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

* Write a strongly worded resolution, wrap it around an arrow, and fire it into Imabigdweeby's bodyguard, Concorde.

* Burst into the enrichment facility, search it for cheese, and start shooting people if none is found. Starting with the bouzouki player.

* Taunt the Iranians.

* Taunt them a second time if necessary.

* Do something in their general direction, but only if it doesn't violate the Geneva Convention, because Amnesty International is like a freakin' pit bull on these sorts of things nowadays.

* Demand that the Iranians dismantle their nuclear program immediately. If they refuse, explain that you're very sorry, but you're not allowed to argue with them anymore unless they dismantle their nuclear program.

* Slap Imabigdweeby with a fish.

* Bomb the nuclear facilities, invade the country, kill the leaders, and steal their huge tracts of land.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:47 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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20 minutes of Carlos Mencia during his stand-up days, back before he got his own show.

If you're stuck on dial-up and can't do streaming video, try going to KeepVid, selecting "YouTube" from the drop-down menu, and downloading it while you do something else, like sleep or vacation.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:52 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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You... in the back... blogdaughter Tammi of Tammi's World.

Congratulations.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:43 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 **Big Grin** Yep - Just call me Ms. Division Sales Manager. WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Tammi at May 26, 2006 12:17 PM (4Kved)

2 Wonderful news...

Posted by: Richmond at May 26, 2006 05:10 PM (e8QFP)

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(Introduction)

If I were to tell you all the tenderness of my heart, I should do nothing but write to you.

[Quote stolen from Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 11:41 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[March 16 '72 49 million WSB G Taylor]

The other $48,999,999 is buried under the Big W.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:38 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: How does Evil Glenn dress for work? due by 11:59pm EDT Friday, May 26th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog Tip: Speeding Up Your Blog (Revisited)

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Stopping Iran's Nukes

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: In addition to lying about his Ranger service and war atrocities, what else has Jesse MacBeth been lying about?

Posted by: Harvey at 01:21 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Because school bus drivers have no qualms about letting adult male muslims climb aboard.

Blogson _Jon of We Swear thinks that this might be a dry run for a series of school bus hijackings.

Which is a better explanation than the ones the couple of "not terrorists" gave.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:42 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Snopes is vague, but doubtful.

My blogless brother Roy forwarded the e-mail to me, which is why I mention it.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Oh, how I adore you! I am perfectly sure that you are the greatest, most wonderful, most loveable woman who ever lived. I am not expressing an opinion, I am simply stating a self-evident fact.

[Quote stolen & slightly modified from Jen of Jennifer's History & Stuff]

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 07:43 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Sept 21 2002 Happy B-day From Jorvell Do not spend it]

"Well," thought Bill Clinton, "depending on what the meaning of the word 'spending' is, I don't think stuffing this into a stripper's g-string would violate the rule."

Posted by: Harvey at 07:41 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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When asked to describe a Beauty Academy, bloggreatgranddaughter Zephyr of Zephyr's Place said:

"imagine high school, then take out all of the guys"

Which just made me giggle for some reason.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Natalie Maines has apparently decided to rub shit all over herself and drink urine in the new Dixie Chicks video "Not Ready to Make Nice".

At least, that's what it looks like to me. I don't like her, her band, her music, or her political opinions, so that may be biasing my observations.

Lyrics to the song can be found here, in case you can't quite make out what Mumbles is singing.

Oh, and blogdaughter Teresa of Technicalities describes what a two-faced, back-stabbing, money-grubbing whore Maines is.

Teresa doesn't actually use the word "whore", though, and - out of respect for the profession - I probably shouldn't either.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Am I imagining things, or did Quality Weenie just post a picture of Johnny-Oh driving to work?

Posted by: Harvey at 07:17 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc read Tammi's post on 'personal baggage' and pondered the way bloggers deal with personal issues:

Usually we pick one or two special friends, ones we know wonÂ’t let our secret out, and test our thoughts on them. If that goes well, we might blog about it. But not a truthful post. Only enough of a post to get the idea out there, without giving away too much, without tipping over the suitcase and the fear pouring out, and then we wait and gauge the reactions of others. The responses we get determine how we proceed.

Silly, isnÂ’t it? Am I alone in thinking this is how bloggers do things?

No, Rave, you're not alone.

Not at all.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:45 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

Love make the world seem brighter and more beautiful. Everything is touched with magic... and that magic is you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:43 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(random scribblings)]

I have no idea what this is, but I'm sure that somewhere a Muslim extremist is offended by it.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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There weren't a lot of volunteers to appear in Clan Row at Blogs With A Face, so Thomsen took the liberty of drafting the Clan blogs and putting them in Clan Row.

If the thought of being associated as such mortifies you, you can request to be moved elsewhere at BWAF or removed entirely.

Also, you might want to check to see if you like the picture he used to link your blog. Drop him a line if you have another preference.

Meanwhile, BWAF is still accepting all other participants, so go join the mob before it stops being hip & trendy.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:27 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Well, I like my spot.

Posted by: Richmond at May 23, 2006 01:01 PM (e8QFP)

2 Mine is very complimentary. He used my "self portrait" which is really not what I look like, but hey who am I to let anyone else know otherwise.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at May 23, 2006 01:37 PM (XG7jZ)

3 He didn't put me in at all, but put T1G in twice, I wanna recount!

Posted by: oddybobo at May 23, 2006 03:08 PM (6Gm0j)

4 Hahahahahaah! Not fair to Oddy, but still: Hahahahahahahaha!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at May 23, 2006 06:24 PM (ZbFVf)

5 Sent one in. Wonder if I'll get my picture in or be like Oddybobo? And Oddy... T1G is big enough to need two spots. GRIN (just joking!)

Posted by: vw bug at May 23, 2006 06:42 PM (H32RX)

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As a veteran, I have to say that this sucks:

The Department of Veterans Affairs reported Monday that a laptop computer containing the names, dates of birth and Social Security numbers of over 26,000,000 veterans was stolen from the home of an employee who had taken the data home without authorization.

A copy of the letter being sent to affected veterans is available at the link.

[alerted via an e-mail from One Happy Dog Speaks]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:35 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Just a general update on Blogdaughter Sally of Whimsy Capricious and Blogson-in-law Alex of Alex in Wonderland, both of whom have been missing from the blogging scene for the last couple months.

They (and their daughter Tara) are alive and well and still living in England. They've bought a new house, the decorating of which is eating a lot of their time.

As you can imagine the house, whilst being brand spanking new, still needs a lot of work doing to it to bring it from just being a house into being a home.... almost all the spare time and effort we have is going into getting the living room right at the moment - my nice bonus I got for project completion just went on a new sofa, paint, cushions and curtains. We are having new flooring laid next week in that room in an effort to have at least one room done in the way that we want. On top of all of that I have my family threatening to come down and see the house so we have to get something sorted sooner rather than later in that respect too.

The downside, of course, is that there will be no more Munchkin stories.

Meanwhile Alex is ungodly busy with his business, so while he has the URGE to write, he hasn't got the time.

On the bright side, I found one of his recent clients to be particularly fascinating.

I wonder when this will hit the States?

Posted by: Harvey at 08:39 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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