March 31, 2006
A recent DC anti-war protest turned out some disappointing numbers for the screeching loony left, and I can't help thinking that they could REALLY improve their attendance figures if they made the events just a LITTLE more red-stater friendly. After all, liberals ARE about being open-minded & non-judgmental, right?
Since I consider myself a fairly typical warmongering, right-wing, gun nut, here's what they could do to get ME to show up to one of their little kook-keggers:
* More SUV parking
* More crazy naked PETA chicks [PG13]!
* I'd really enjoy a Dick Cheney hunter safety course, because every time I try to shoot a lawyer, I end up hitting a quail in the face.
* Sell "Ann Coulter Gone Wild!" DVD's
* Schedule the protest on a weekend so that the gainfully employed can attend.
* Ergonomic comfort-gel Sof-Grip protest sign-handles ("Just say 'NO' to splinters!")
* Free John Kerry silhouette shooting targets ("10 points for the important-looking hair!")
* Free Korans - I've got a wobbly table with a short leg at home.
* Free shampoo - which I'll gladly provide myself if they promise to use it. Seriously - who's the lunatic who told white people they could wear dreadlocks?
* Free Palestine - I always see booths offering it, but when I get there, they never have any. I wonder if it's like funnel cake?
Actually, I'd gladly attend one of those things - and even wave around a "No Blood For Oil!" sign - if they'd just do one simple thing:
* Ban braless grandmothers.
Anyway, what would get YOU to go to a anti-war protest rally?
Posted by: Harvey at
11:58 AM
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