I took a tip from bloggrandson Neonangel of Lyrical Coma, and checked out "The Order of the Stick", a thrice-weekly serial web comic.

Now, I was not an obsessive gamer in high school, but the rest of my friends from chess club were, and I went on a handful of campaigns. Enough to know what "roll for initiative" means, anyway.

So if you've even a passing knowledge of D&D, I think you'll find it amusing.

I'll give you 3 places to choose from for your first visit:

Comic #1 (it's very nearly at #300 now) - Get in on the ground floor and read them in order.

Comic #143 - A typical instance of the humor - the illustrations are of the player characters inside their quest, while the dialogue is pretty much what you'd hear from the players as they sit in the basement drinking Mountain Dew & eating Cheetos. This tickles me, for some reason.

Comic #136 - The Weapons Shop sketch - an homage to Monty Python (you KNEW there would be one in there somewhere, right?).

Anyway, I now return you to your regularly scheduled World of Warcraft session.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:36 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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(A Filthy Lie)

I always suspected Evil Glenn was just too evil to be human, but in today's User Friendly comic strip, I finally have proof.

Sure, they don't specifically mention his name, but who else would a c-list blogger send an e-mail to?

Posted by: Harvey at 10:36 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

I love you more now than when you began to read this sentence.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:23 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: Where is John Croll)]

One of hundreds of Ayn Rand's "near misses" as she struggled to perfect the opening line of "Atlas Shrugged".

Posted by: Harvey at 08:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Alexa of NY Hotties [NC17] brings up an interesting topic:

X and I have been dating casually for a while now. Unfortunately, my attempt at distraction didnÂ’t work. He soon began to sing:

“Well I’m on the Downeaster Alexa
And IÂ’m cruising through la la la la
I have charted la la la la la la—”

Okay. ItÂ’s bad enough sharing a name with a mediocre Billy Joel song. What sucks even more is no one actually knows the words to said mediocre song past the title line.

Me, I'm lucky. No songs about Harvey.

But people DO mention Harvey the Rabbit.

And Paul Harvey.

And the drink Harvey Wallbanger (had one once - didn't like it).

So all in all, not TOO terribly bad.

How about YOU?

Posted by: Harvey at 08:42 AM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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So a guy disciplined his 6-year old twin boys with shock collars, and got felony child abuse charges.

I've never trained dogs, so I don't know for sure, but are these things REALLY that much worse than a spanking?

And can we get these put on our congress-critters so that we can discourage them from voting for tax increases?

Posted by: Harvey at 08:16 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

The new Iraqi Parliament that was elected last December has finally been sworn in, but - due to an egregious mix-up at the ballot box - it turned out that all those elected were actually American Democrats.

Vowing to "do for Iraq what Bushitler won't let us do for America", the new Parliament promised to do the following during its first 100 days:

* No more death penalty. Except for those who refer to a person of murder as a "terrorist"

* Also outlawed will be the phrase "camel jockey", unless it's used at an actual camel race.

* Or by a rap artist.

* It will be illegal to bow toward Mecca at a public school.

* Having a non-denominational "moment of bending" isn't acceptable either.

* No one will be allowed to draw cartoons of Jesus, Buddha, or Moses. However, the Iraqi government WILL fund artworks such as the urine-soaked holy book, "Whiz Koran".

* No cartoons of Cindy Sheehan, either, because her son died for George Bush's sins.

* BUUUUUUUUUUUSH! *shakes fist at sky*

* Floor sweeping will be forbidden in all bars and restaurants, due to the hazards of "secondhand dirt".

* Meanwhile, the tax on brooms will be raised another 50 cents.

* No one will be allowed to own a gun except for police and persons of murder.

* Camel spiders will now be considered an endangered species, and no oil drilling will be allowed in their habitats.

* Unless the oil is being sold to France, Germany, Russia, or China.

* All camels will be required to get an average of 28 miles per gallon of water.

* 38 for the economy 1-hump models

* Witnesses in court trials have to swear to tell the truth while placing their hand on a copy of "Heather Has Two Mommies".

* All of Saddam's old presidential Palaces will be re-named "The Robert C. Byrd Memorial Palace", followed by a Roman numeral.

* And stop nagging Senator Byrd to apologize for his Klan membership! You people are like a pitbull on a mailman's leg with that!

* All sand dunes will be made wheelchair accessible.

* The new Iraqi flag will be an upside down American flag with a picture of Michael Moore's butt on it.

* Women will have equal rights. To apply for these rights, they should send a resume to intern@cigarsinparliament.com.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:32 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Filthy Lie Assignment Reminder: Why did Evil Glenn have so much fun hanging out with his grandmother? due by 11:59pm EDT Friday, March 24th. Late entries must be accompanied by a lame excuse.

Wednesday Linky Stuff

Basil's Blog Tip: Backing Up Your Blog

Precision Guided Humor Round-up: Iraqi Laws

New Precision Guided Humor Assignment: How could anti-war protest rallies attract more participants?

Posted by: Harvey at 07:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc just popped out a brand new baby blogdaughter.

And - believe it or not - it's NOT a relative!

The Bad Example Family gene pool is actually getting some new DNA!

So let's wave a little pink rattle to distract Hippie of Bohemian Rhapsody while we peek at her site:

Moving right along, and changing gears with a ragged grinding of mental metal - Wal-Mart lesbian midgets.

No, I'm NOT Google-baiting, that's actually the subject of her post.

Membership in the Bad Example Clan is also an option, if you're so inclined to jump through the requisite hoops, but is not mandatory.

Meanwhile you can look forward - with either anticipation or dread - to regular visits and comments from me.

Welcome home.

Posted by: Harvey at 02:17 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 03:43 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

...and I used it to make Keef Kat, Toka-Cola, Stoney Ranchers, Trippy peanut butter and Pot Tarts

Posted by: Harvey at 03:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Richmond of One For the Road says that to understand men, all you need to do is understand the 7 questions that drive their lives:

1. Am I hungry?
2. Am I horny?
3. Do I have to pee?
4. Is the game on?
5. Will this get me laid?
6. Am I sleepy?
7. Will this make me money?

Can't really argue with this list. And the number 8 for married guys rounds it out exquisitely:

8. Is my wife gonna yell at me if I.....?

However, I think she may be slightly off on answering this particular question:

"Why don't men see things that need to be picked up?"

The truth is, every person - men AND women - have a certain tolerance for chaos & disorder in their living environment. A certain amount of "scattered objects and dust-bunnies" above which the irresistable desire to restore order kicks in. And the level is different for everyone.

So, in ANY given couple, someone will crack under the stress of needing to clean before the other person. Usually it's the woman.

However, when I got married, Beloved Wife had a higher tolerance for chaos than I did, and I could never figure out how SHE could manage to "not see things that needed to be picked up".

Which left me with three courses of action:

1) Change her
2) Clean up after her
3) Adopt her level of chaos tolerance

I chose option 3, and we've lived happily ever after, even if there ARE a few things that need putting away.

How YOU folks choose to solve the "chaos gap", I leave to your own discretion.

Posted by: Harvey at 03:33 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Our choas gap is huge I'm a neat freak. My BetterHalf however is a self admitted slob. I absolutely positively refuse to go to option 3. Especially not with 2 kids. So about once a week I actually get to snap the whip a bit and get her to help me out. The rest of the week I assume the household cleaning duties. All I ask of her in that time is fold the laundry and empty the dishwasher. I'll do everything else

Posted by: BloodSpite at March 22, 2006 05:12 PM (ZTGJT)

2 And I like Bloodspite have come to terms with the the fact that "nobody cares but me" anyway... Crack the whip? Yes I do, occasionally. I definitely wish others cared too though, sometimes....

Posted by: Richmond at March 22, 2006 08:47 PM (e8QFP)

3 And those who remain happily married almost never choose option #1... Congrats on recognizing this, Harv, as it's a key to a happy relationship.

Posted by: Ogre at March 23, 2006 06:22 AM (/k+l4)

4 Heh, yeah Ogre, like many women can be changed in a marriage anyway. That's like teaching a cat how to fetch.

Posted by: silentwarrior at March 23, 2006 07:22 AM (x2iVE)

5 My husband and I have different tolerances for chaos in different areas. If something is bugging me then I clean it up. If something is bugging him then he cleans it up. Seems to have worked so far. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at March 23, 2006 10:35 AM (FZwDL)

6 Man, that's what I did wrong! *Takes notes* I'll have to try this if I ever find myself in that situation again.

Posted by: Sticks at March 23, 2006 05:03 PM (tC2QQ)

7 Harv, you are the gayest straight boy I know. I wish I could honestly say I didn't understand what you mean, but as my SO has a significantly greater chaos tolerance than I , I do know exactly know what you mean. I just lowered my tolerance. Count on you to take the high road.

Posted by: og at March 23, 2006 05:04 PM (N95T8)

8 And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Posted by: og at March 23, 2006 05:05 PM (N95T8)

9 I'm married to Monk, as in the character from the TV show. And I have clutter issues. I'm not slovenly by any stretch, but I'm not a neat freak either. He has adapted to me, trying to be OK with the chaos that can be my life and I know what really pushes his buttons and try to make sure I don't bug the ever living crap out of him. We can't change each other, but we've met somewhere in the middle. And when he finally gets all OCD on me, I just stay out of his way and know he'll work through it.

Posted by: Bou at March 23, 2006 07:59 PM (iHxT3)

10 Og - Hey! I'm NOT gay! Although I *do* love the feel of TNT's muscular arms holding me close. Oh, and show tunes. LOVE those show tunes! :-)

Posted by: Harvey at March 24, 2006 07:21 AM (L7a63)

11 Harvey's Gay! Harvey's Gay! But hey, you can't be fired from any job now...

Posted by: Ogre at March 24, 2006 09:15 AM (/k+l4)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

(Introduction)

[Found at and modified from Aussie Wife]

In the morning's clear light
I study the face I know so well
I am filled with a boundless love
as my gaze travels over familiar curves and contours
I see the peacefulness that deep sleep brings
when the essence of the person hides within
then she awakes and the face is transformed
a sleepy smile and a request for morning loving
the weekend has begun

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 04:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Fran lost a bet]

Well... sort of.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:23 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Who mourns the passing of the well-dressed man.

How to tie a tie.

I did this for 7 years working for the bank, yet always had issues getting the finished project to sit with the tip perfectly atop the belt buckle, as it ought to be. Each tie I own has its own idiosyncrasies of fabric thickness and width, which makes attaining the "just right" length more of an art than a science.

Plus the Windsor is an unforgiving knot. Virtually no leeway for adjusting the finished product. If you screw it up, you have to start over.

Still, it's a talent worth learning.

Now if only I could figure out how to shine my shoes instead of just making them a vaguely-glossy black.

Posted by: Harvey at 10:26 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 Damn Swabbies don't even know how to shine their own shoes...

Posted by: Ogre at March 21, 2006 10:59 AM (/k+l4)

2 .. thanks, Harv... it's a lost art it seems...

Posted by: Eric at March 21, 2006 11:05 AM (r5XsL)

3 I confess to preferring the 4 in hand, something about the asymmetrical thing I really like. I can shine my shoes, but don't really. When I was on the Air Force demo thing, one of the crewchiefs finally got disgusted with me and took my boots away for the weekend and shined them his own self. I don't know what he did, but it's been ten years and they still shine.

Posted by: tommy at March 21, 2006 01:59 PM (dTj9I)

4 Me? I really like ties... I think they look nice. Finished. Professional. I especially like lumberjacks wearing ties (with white shirts and jeans... and work boots...) but that's a story for another day....

Posted by: Richmond at March 21, 2006 02:47 PM (e8QFP)

5 Ogre - I know *how*, but I just can't get that mirrored look. I took advice all through my Navy years - lots of polish, a little polish, melt the polish with a lighter, polish with water, polish dry & sprinkle water, use spit not water - tried 'em all, along with dozens of variations of brushes & polishing cloths. I could pass an inspection just fine, but there were always plenty of guys with better looking shoes :-/

Posted by: Harvey at March 21, 2006 04:03 PM (L7a63)

6 That awesome shine comes from using rubbing alcohol with the melted polish....

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 21, 2006 05:19 PM (jOkK0)

7 I wear a windsor knotted tie daily for work, it really irritates me when people wear ties with a different knot in it. To the point that I've been known to change sales people because the way they tied their tie annoyed me.

Posted by: contagion at March 21, 2006 06:52 PM (e8b4J)

8 Real ties are dangerous, someone grabs your tie they can drag you around like your on a leash. Clip ons come off in there hand and the knot is PERFECT every day, and while he's looking at the tie in his hand you can put a steeltoe boot in his nuts. But thats just me.

Posted by: blogless brother at March 21, 2006 09:50 PM (KD5nc)

9 I used to have to wear a tie every day. Thank God those days are long gone. I still can tie a tie without a mirror. But I guess I was always doing a half-Windsor knot.

Posted by: Jerry at March 21, 2006 11:32 PM (BARWS)

10 Now this is one topic I can agree with! I'm always lamenting the fact that men today just have no idea how to present themselves. Hmmm...I look down and I see what I have on right now: Tailored black slacks Tailored white poly-cotton dress shirt (sleeves halfway rolled up) Button-up black cotton sweater vest Black tie in a full windsor Gold tie tack Shirt garters holding the shirt tight to my black dress socks Spit-shined black leather shoes All I need now is for my new fedora to come in and I'm all set! Should we men, as a collective, forget to look and act the part of masters of ourselves and our world...then we indeed deserve to be treated as the whipped, sloppy, uncaring men we appear to be. Sad part is that it's all a matter of personal choice. Choose to be sloppy, or choose to shine. Ah hell...maybe I've just been born 50 years too late...

Posted by: silentwarrior at March 22, 2006 07:15 AM (x2iVE)

11 I don't do the Windsor. For some reason, that know doesn't cotton to me very much. However, I've been tying the reversed tie knot for a while. You start with the tie upside down(seam out) and then proceed from there. Makes a nice, tidy knot.

Posted by: physics geek at March 23, 2006 03:05 PM (Xvrs7)

12 I have a firm belief that a well shined pair of shoes requires two things... A big city shoeshiner slinging a dingy grey rag in the... "Shave and a haircut, two bits" rhythm. Hope this helps! Oh, and of course the environmentally unfriendly substance these big city shoe shiners employ. Which anyone who's anyone knows is rendered from particularly smelly bums.

Posted by: Jake Jacobsen at March 23, 2006 11:14 PM (X2ChO)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

(Introduction)

Had I no eyes but ears, my ears would love
That inward beauty and invisible;
Or were I deaf, thy outward parts would move
Each part in me that were but sensible:
Though neither eyes nor ears, to hear nor see,
And nothing but the very smell were left me,

Yet should I be in love by touching thee.
Say, that the sense of feeling were bereft me,
And that I could not see, nor hear, nor touch,
Yet would my love to thee be still as much;

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

[Like the Love Notes? Get the e-book]

Posted by: Harvey at 04:37 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Paper quarter)]

From "Counterfeiting For Dummies", p. 137:

"When counterfeiting coinage, resist the temptation to hand-draw, and keep in mind that paper is NOT an appropriate medium for this endeavor."

Posted by: Harvey at 04:35 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Found this at American Digest

(click to enlarge)

Square A and Square B are the same color.

I saw the animated video which proves it. It didn't convince me.

I read the explanation. It didn't convince me.

I downloaded the pic, opened it up in MS Paint, cut out a chunk of square B and slid it up to square A...

After about 5 minutes of sliding that little section back & forth, I was finally convinced.

Try it yourself.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:31 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Bloggranddaughter Rave of Quid Nunc is throwing a little gas on the fire:

"Why is it (and I may be skewed a bit in my thinking as I am female) that most men do not remember 'things' and most women do?

I'm not talking about just 'remembering' them, but actually 'remembering to do them'.

There's 3 reasons men forget to do stuff

1) We actually forgot.

2) We haven't yet found an uninterrupted 2-hour block of time to get a good start on a major project, but hope to this weekend. Meanwhile, "I forgot" provokes a better response from most females than "quit nagging".

3) Don't really wanna do this project because it's a dumb idea, and we tried to tell you that in the first place, but you wouldn't listen. Now we're just hoping you'll forget about it eventually.

Hope that explains things.

Meanwhile, does anyone recognize that movie she mentioned where the new wife uses a dog-training manual to adjust her husband's behavior?

Posted by: Harvey at 04:27 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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The Cleaning Hunk

[From the comments at A Swift Kick and a Band-Aid]

While you're at it, go see Grouchy Old Cripple & try to find the dogs hidden in the picture.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:22 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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