F***ers.
1
Yay, they arrived!
Posted by: Ogre at April 27, 2005 10:30 AM (/k+l4)
2
A horse's head would probably do the trick.
Or you could put them out on your ledge and set them on fire.
Posted by: Phelps at April 27, 2005 11:18 AM (f9s1t)
3
Pour most of the water out, leave them in your cubicle (or better yet, the break room) and as they wither and die and start to stink, vigorously insist that they are still perfectly ok, and nobody better throw them out because they are proof of how much you are valued as an Administrative Professional. If there are mums in the bunch you should get some really gross and slimy water, too--don't let anyone change it! I'd also recommend that if anyone suggests tossing them, you pensively bite your lip and let tears well up in your eyes, as if considering it, but then go back to the trenchant denial that anything's wrong with them. Maybe next year they'll send you chocolates...
Posted by: Susie at April 27, 2005 11:25 AM (IPJ6q)
4
I got chocolates: nyah nyah. 8>
Pictures up tomorrow on my Flickr page, which your comment machine won't let me post because it thinks the link is questionable. Speaking of which, have you been checking in there? There are some photographs of, er, matters that might concern you. As a red-blooded American male. Though so far most of my postings are on the dressed side. (But stay tuned.)
Posted by: Linus at April 27, 2005 12:15 PM (Bf+TD)
5
Susie has a great idea......
if that doesn't work, pin the flowers to a "fedora", wear it around the office for the next week or so. say "I have been wanting these exact flowers for my fedora." If they don't fire you, you probably won't be getting flowers next year.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 27, 2005 12:34 PM (8dRaf)
6
You wearing a dress and heels to work again Harvey? LOL.
Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2005 02:01 PM (nAfYo)
7
Uhhhh Harv, did someone at work give these to you or someone else? If someone else, take those wonderful ideas above - ie stinky flowers and then SEND THEM BACK to the person who sent them to you. Or put them on the Fedora and send it to them (after they have reached stinch level).
Posted by: vw bug at April 27, 2005 02:01 PM (IHRU4)
8
Due what I did on Bosses day when my minions gave me flowers. Cut the heads off and leave the stems sitting in a vase of water.
As people start annoying you take their picture with a poloroid camera, cut out their heads and impale them on a stem. Take a needle and prick your finger so you can smeer the photo's with blood. This makes them look like tiny severed heads. If you don't want to use real blood, a red marker might work.
Lets just say, I've never received a flower at work again.
Posted by: Contagion at April 27, 2005 02:03 PM (Q5WxB)
9
*sniff*
I love you guys :-)
Keep it comin'...
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 02:38 PM (tJfh1)
10
Oh Contagion's idea is wonderful. You could play "She loves me, she loves me not" all over the bank!
Posted by: Oddybobo at April 27, 2005 02:57 PM (6Gm0j)
11
I got a basket with some girly, gourmet-like snacks inside. I keep telling them that if they really wanted to show their appreciation they'd give me a 12 pack of beer. I'm a guy for Christ sake.
On the bright side, at least it's not called "Secretaries Day" anymore.
Posted by: G. Hamid at April 27, 2005 03:22 PM (Ej1ST)
12
(Looks at Contagion)
GOD, I'm glad I don't work with you.....
Posted by: Graumagus at April 27, 2005 03:30 PM (XWpIJ)
13
DAMN, I had to give myself my own A.P. Day present by bouncing when they left for lunch. I left a message that if they had any questions, the answer would be "No" until tomorrow.
But um...payback, let me think. Perhaps you can hide a teensy cd player somewhere and put that Russian pop duo TaTu's song "All the Things She Said" (heavy drums techno version) on repeat play. By ten or so they'll all be banging thier heads in their drawers.
Posted by: Tiffany at April 27, 2005 04:03 PM (bj98V)
14
Tiffany - OO! nice one! But what I really need is some trippy psychedelic stuff to freak out the grandmas I work with. Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love, maybe :-)
And what's this?
NEW COMMENTER!
HI G!!!
*waves like a lunatic*
Been lurking long?
Either way, glad to have you breaking the ice :-)
And I'd rather have the snacky basket, myself. At the very least they could've bought me some fucking McDonald's gift certificates. Maybe a flashlight. Or a screwdriver. Or some fucking duct tape! SOMEFUCKINGTHING USEFUL!!!
Buncha retarded assholes.
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 04:30 PM (tJfh1)
15
Ok, I feel really dumb! I never knew they stopped calling it secretaries day. Then today, I went shopping for mothers day cards, and I saw "administrative professionals day" and i was like, "what's the difference between that and secretaries day"
*crawls out from underneath her rock*
Posted by: Sissy at April 27, 2005 05:54 PM (PjqiK)
16
Sissy - that may have been a fairly recent change. I only knew about it being AP Day because that's how it's printed on my calendar this year.
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 06:24 PM (ubhj8)
17
Now Harvey ....... *tilting head and looking sincere* .... You know its the THOUGHT that FUCKING COUNTS! *smacking the hell outta you* Tsk tsk! I'm calling that bank right now!!!
*smirk*
Posted by: Denise at April 27, 2005 07:26 PM (JTlEe)
18
Denise - LOL! That's very nearly the exact reaction I got when - as they were passing out the ugly flowers in cheap glass vases - I told the teller who was distributing these eyesores to get that thing the hell away from my window.
Those things were ugly & tacky enough without me having customers treat them as a conversation piece.
Had enough of that last year.
Posted by: Harvey at April 27, 2005 07:58 PM (ubhj8)
19
hehe....Harvey, it's just cause youre so dang loveable that they sent the flowers. Oooooor...they just like pissing you off. ;-)
Posted by: Pam at April 27, 2005 09:04 PM (hNXz0)
20
HAHAHAHA - at least you got something!!heh
too damn funny.
Cindy
Posted by: firstbrokenangel at April 28, 2005 12:07 AM (PEKrh)
21
Wait. "Had enough of that last year" That is implying you get flowers EVERY year.
Holy shit. That sucks wet socks. I don't think we have any administrative assistants where I am... hmm.
Today is take your child to work day. I'm not going to work. I don't want to deal with everyone's kiddies. I'd rather have flowers.
Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 06:11 AM (z7nbM)
22
You didn't tell me it was bring your kid to work day Bou!!
Hmph!
*Folds arms, turns away and pouts*
Posted by: Sissy at April 28, 2005 08:13 AM (PjqiK)
Posted by: _Jon at April 28, 2005 08:28 AM (uHRYR)
24
If I were gay, at least I'd be able to
enjoy the fucking flowers :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 01:22 PM (tJfh1)
25
There's always the old gerbils, nutsack coated with Karo syrup thing...
Oh. You said "subtle". Darn.
Hmmmmmmmm!
Posted by: Jeff at April 28, 2005 09:42 PM (Mu8gg)
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