Bloggranddaughter ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom is complaining (ever so gently) about
.
True, men don't go into details about work. They're more into giving the one-word executive summary, i.e. "good", "ok", "bad", "sucked". And if women pester them for details, they get defensive "What is this? The Spanish Inquisition? Are you going to break out the comfy chair?"
He will probably sigh heavily & roll his eyes, but if you're willing to accept that as the price you have to pay to get the goods, he can be trained. Eventually, all you'll have to do is say "Gimme the chick-flick version" and he'll start gabbing away.
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Personally I never enjoy talking about my job because it's truly only exciting to me. How can anyone ever get excited about the work I do in the Tax Law Dept of the Investment Division of my firm. Would anyone like to hear how I actually came up with the perfect work that captured the nuance of tax situation, like bifurcation for instance, for my boss.
Nuances of words are only interesting to Language Arts majors or Linguists and really no one else. Sigh!
So instead I love to listen to other peoples' day becuase the height of my day was not needing to use a the legal or investment thesaurus. Woohoo!
Posted by: michele at April 27, 2005 07:00 PM (ht2RK)
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No one expects the Spanish Inquisition...
Sorry Harvey - I couldn't resist. *grin*
Actually, I've found that the best way to get my husband to talk (most of the time) is to go out walking together everyday. (not really an option when you have toddlers though - that's just a time you have to tough out until they get a bit older). Walking puts you on neutral territory, you're in motion so it's generally more difficult to get confrontational. And the added benefit is that if you walk everyday - even the most silent of guys decides they should throw out a few words here and there.
Posted by: Teresa at April 27, 2005 09:08 PM (nAfYo)
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My husband is an extrovert and has no problems talking about it if he wants to. That said, I hate to sound callous and cold, but if he doesn't want to talk about it, I don't care.
At home, I NEVER talk about my job. When I worked for the old company, he had NO CLUE what I did for a living. People would ask and he'd say, "She's a rocket scientist" and leave it at that. (I told him although he wasn't totally wrong, he was better off saying 'propulsion scientist')
I'm big into compartmentalization. What happens at work, stays at work. What happens at home, stays at home. I don't like them bleeding into one another. Not to say it doesn't happen, but I don't like it much.
Posted by: Bou at April 28, 2005 06:02 AM (z7nbM)
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Our chief weapon is fear.
I can't find the study now, but I know it's out here in cyberspace somewhere -- it shows that men typically use about 20,000 words a day, while women typically use about 45,000. So when the male gets home at the end of the day, it's likely that he has already used all his words and he's done talking. Women, on the other hand, still have many, many, many, many, many words left to say...
Posted by: Ogre at April 28, 2005 06:07 AM (/k+l4)
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I agree w/Bou and Ogre, well he hit the nail on the head!!!
I'll only add one more thought. I also don't talk about my job because I already lived it. Good, bad or indifferent, it's over with, and I usually don't want to relive it twice. If I need to deal w/it some more I have my blog where I work things out. People, by opining about my day will only confuse me and delay my writing!
Posted by: michele at April 28, 2005 06:35 AM (ht2RK)
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I know a lot of guys that don't talk about work because it's illegal. Myself being one of them. Many aspects of my current job and especially my previous job does not allow me to talk about it with out violating various Federal and State laws. So for me, it's just easier to not talk about any aspect of it so I don't have to worry about it. Plus, no one understands what I do for a living, not even the person I report to, so why bother?
Posted by: Contagion at April 28, 2005 07:14 AM (Q5WxB)
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You mean there's NO ONE out there who wants to hear about my day? :-(
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 07:54 AM (ubhj8)
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Some days I wish my hubby were like that.
He's a talker, put him and Tammi into a room together and you would never get them to shut-up.
I think both of us talk about work just to gripe and just talk through the problems were having at work. Neither of us usually tries to solve the others issues, we just listen. That is usually all the other wants, someone to listen to their gripes about work.
Posted by: Machelle at April 28, 2005 07:57 AM (ZAyoW)
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I am surprised this small paragraph got so much "attention". When you are separated for 18 months...I think it puts you in a different realm. I asked as a matter of reconnecting with him.
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at April 28, 2005 09:46 AM (IOfXi)
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AW - yeah, you're a different situation. But I think that he's not used to doing conversational connecting after where he's been & what he's done.
Train him patiently. And use small words :-)
Posted by: Harvey at April 28, 2005 01:30 PM (tJfh1)
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