The New Cuba

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

With his brother in the hospital, Raul Castro has wasted no time shaking things up in the country he now controls. In a mere 10 days he's made several notable changes in Cuba:

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* Relaxing the ban on American corporations. Even going so far as personally pinching the ceremonial first ass at the new Havana Hooters.

* Upgrading the country's numerous rusted out 1950's Chevys by installing broken 8-track players.

* Being more like Bill Clinton, except with better cigars and hotter interns.

* Growing himself a nice, bushy, dictator-beard, like Fidel, Saddam, and that ruthless bastard Santa.

* Guaranteeing the right of free speech to all citizens as long as they don't use the letter "e".

* Ending the program of automatic Cuban citizenship for the constant flood of American refugees washing up on their shores.

* Random beatings of political prisoners will no longer include hideous Ricky Martin background music.

* Replacing layers of filth encrusting the streets of Havana with more wholesome layers of crud.

* Replacing numerous giant pictures of Fidel with numerous giant pictures of hot IDF chicks.

* Legalizing the importation of Viagra from America so that he can resolve his "Cuban Missile Crisis".

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He's still working on getting the Fidel Castro urinal sticker factory up and running, but production is expected to start any day now.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:35 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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