July 22, 2005
After the terrorist bombings in London, it's become more important than ever for the average citizen to be able to detect crazy Muslims who mean us harm. As a public service to my readers, I offer this simple quiz to help you determine your terrorist-spotting ability. Simply aim your sidearm at the correct answer and pull the trigger. If your monitor doesn't explode, you've chosen correctly:
1) Smells like a monkey, but has no tail.
a) Terrorist
b) Frenchman
2) Label on designer suit jacket reads "C4 of Hollywood"
a) Terrorist
b) Worthress Arec Bardwin
3) Towel on head
a) Terrorist
b) Galactic Hitchhiker eluding Ravenous Bugbladder Beast of Traal
4) Swarthy, hirsuite, bearded man with evil glint in his eye and no discernable sense of humor
a) Terrorist
b) Harvey
5) Sneakers have radiation symbol instead of Nike Swoosh
a) Terrorist
b) Merchandising whore Kobe Bryant
6) Makes pet Yorkie wear an explosive cardigan
a) Terrorist
b) Gay terrorist
7) Memorizes Holy Book, flies into murderous rage at slightest hint of blasphemy
a) Terrorist
b) SarahK
Prominently displays crescent moon on front door
a) Terrorist
b) Outhouse
9) Shouts "ULULULULULULULU!"
a) Terrorist
b) Country singer who misses his girlfriend, Lulu
10) Hates dogs
a) Terrorist
b) Terminator
11) Lives in the desert, sleeps in a tent, fires gun in the air at weddings
a) Terrorist
b) Buck the Marine
12) Man wearing long, flowing, badly-fitting dress
a) Terrorist
b) Transvestite
13) Kills innocent people when they least expect it
a) Terrorist
b) Ted Kennedy
14) Tries to smuggle weapons through airport security
a) Terrorist
b) Grandma and her knitting needles
15) Whooping it up at a strip club for a final night of earthly pleasure before his long-awaited entrance into Paradise
a) Terrorist
b) Frank J. at his bachelor party
Since this quiz is self-grading, I won't be posting an answer key. But if you got any answers wrong, buy a new monitor and try again.
America's safety depends on you getting a perfect score.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:36 AM
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Posted by: Ogre at July 22, 2005 07:59 AM (/k+l4)
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