July 22, 2005

TERRORIST SPOTTING QUIZ

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

After the terrorist bombings in London, it's become more important than ever for the average citizen to be able to detect crazy Muslims who mean us harm. As a public service to my readers, I offer this simple quiz to help you determine your terrorist-spotting ability. Simply aim your sidearm at the correct answer and pull the trigger. If your monitor doesn't explode, you've chosen correctly:



1) Smells like a monkey, but has no tail.
a) Terrorist
b) Frenchman

2) Label on designer suit jacket reads "C4 of Hollywood"
a) Terrorist
b) Worthress Arec Bardwin

3) Towel on head
a) Terrorist
b) Galactic Hitchhiker eluding Ravenous Bugbladder Beast of Traal

4) Swarthy, hirsuite, bearded man with evil glint in his eye and no discernable sense of humor
a) Terrorist
b) Harvey

5) Sneakers have radiation symbol instead of Nike Swoosh
a) Terrorist
b) Merchandising whore Kobe Bryant

6) Makes pet Yorkie wear an explosive cardigan
a) Terrorist
b) Gay terrorist

7) Memorizes Holy Book, flies into murderous rage at slightest hint of blasphemy
a) Terrorist
b) SarahK

Prominently displays crescent moon on front door
a) Terrorist
b) Outhouse

9) Shouts "ULULULULULULULU!"
a) Terrorist
b) Country singer who misses his girlfriend, Lulu

10) Hates dogs
a) Terrorist
b) Terminator

11) Lives in the desert, sleeps in a tent, fires gun in the air at weddings
a) Terrorist
b) Buck the Marine

12) Man wearing long, flowing, badly-fitting dress
a) Terrorist
b) Transvestite

13) Kills innocent people when they least expect it
a) Terrorist
b) Ted Kennedy

14) Tries to smuggle weapons through airport security
a) Terrorist
b) Grandma and her knitting needles

15) Whooping it up at a strip club for a final night of earthly pleasure before his long-awaited entrance into Paradise
a) Terrorist
b) Frank J. at his bachelor party



Since this quiz is self-grading, I won't be posting an answer key. But if you got any answers wrong, buy a new monitor and try again.

America's safety depends on you getting a perfect score.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:36 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 351 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Hold on, I'm reloading...

Posted by: Ogre at July 22, 2005 07:59 AM (/k+l4)

2 Crap. Don't have my sidearm with me. Will a .50 belt-fed machine gun work?

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at July 22, 2005 11:40 AM (0oTuw)

3 Great stuff, Harvey. Faves: The SarahK one really got me laughing! (So did #13 for that matter).

Posted by: jimmyb at July 22, 2005 01:51 PM (BMtnw)

4 Steve - Just think fast :-)

Posted by: Harvey at July 22, 2005 01:55 PM (ubhj8)

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