Got this e-mail today:

Dear Harvey:

Greetings.

In the interest of exploring employment with your Web blog as a freelance copyeditor/proofreader, I am enclosing my corrections to four passages within your Web blog for your consideration.

As you can tell from my résumé within my Web site, I have 20 years’ experience as a proofreader and 5 years’ experience as a freelance copyeditor. I have a firm grasp of the American Medical Association, Associated Press, Bluebook, Chicago, Government Printing Office and Word Into Type style manuals and I know how to follow in-house style manuals.

I am diligent, incessant and implacable in my attention to detail. I am relentless in my fact-checking methodology, be it using reference materials or be it online using LEXIS/NEXIS, WESTLAW or the Internet, to ensure accuracy. I am undaunted by deadlines or last-minute addenda.

As a copyeditor/proofreader, it is my job to strengthen the fabric of society, held together by a common language, by not having mistakes or inaccuracies distract the readers' attention from the message that is being presented.

In closing, please accept my very best wishes for your Web blog's continued success and I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Ivan Santana

--
"Bringing grammatical order to the Internet."(TM)

Attached were four Word documents, each bearing the name of one of four recent blog post titles.

The itch of curiosity was MADDENING - what passages could I have possibly screwed up in my Simpsons Trivia post?

However, I know that Word docs are notorious virus vectors, so this e-mail just got marked as spam & tossed.

Two suspicious items in this e-mail: "As you can tell from my résumé within my Web site" - and he doesn't include a link or a URL in the body of the e-mail.

Also "Web blog"? Even fanatical purists who refuse to use the word "blog" know that the formal term is "web log".

Anyway, I'm just concerned that this loser might target the Family (& friends), so I thought I'd mention it.

... positively MADDENING, I tell you!

Posted by: Harvey at 09:31 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 351 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Dearest Dad, Kudos to you for identifying this scam/spam/pseudo-phisher idiot. In not opening this piece of junk mail you have successfully kept me from being infected too. Thank you for listening to your instincts and for protecting every one in your address book. I know I truly appreciate it as I don't have the time to scrub my pc's clean.

Posted by: Michele at June 11, 2006 10:02 AM (UnM+d)

2 Thanks Pops. Good to know you're watchin' out for us. I figured it was spam as soon as he said he found "errors". Not on your site. ;-)

Posted by: Tammi at June 11, 2006 10:19 AM (pWX3U)

3 Dear old Dad - always watching out for us! *grin* If you really want to know what kind of virus or other nasty a word doc might be carrying - you could create a special folder for the docs and save them there. Then head over to trend micro and do a free scan on the directory - it would be quick and you could then rejoice in knowing exactly what kind of annoyance was sent your way. Or - if you're like me - you just junk it and wish you could retaliate in some effective way.

Posted by: Teresa at June 11, 2006 11:05 AM (jgXyO)

4 Huh... who'd have guessed? You really aren't as stupid as you look or write.

Posted by: That 1 Guy at June 11, 2006 11:21 AM (iHxT3)

5 Crap!! I thought for sure you'd fall for one of the oldest tricks in the book - knowing how fuckin goofy you are - but I guess I misunderestimated your stupidity. Next itme I'll come up with something totally new and unique. PS There were indeed errors, grammatical and spelling, in all those web blog posts!

Posted by: MAdfish Willie at June 11, 2006 05:45 PM (8V/TM)

6 MAdfish Wilie, Next "itme"? Boy, what a good copyeditor you are. (It's supposed to be two words, "copy editor." Don't mess with the Blue Squizzle. He knows his grammar for rizzle.)

Posted by: the blue square at June 11, 2006 08:26 PM (VJ9r1)

7 Madfish Willie... I should have expected to find you holding Ivan's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was read that e-mail! :-P

Posted by: Harvey at June 11, 2006 10:04 PM (L7a63)

8 I dunno if it was spam. I keep getting messages from Tighthole Tina and her slutty cheerleader Are you saying that my friend Tina is lying? Shame on you!

Posted by: physics geek at June 12, 2006 12:10 PM (Xvrs7)

9 Wanna forward those? I think they're for me... :-)

Posted by: Harvey at June 12, 2006 12:45 PM (L7a63)

10 Hey.. B²... blow me! Maybe you don't know who I really am!?!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at June 12, 2006 09:01 PM (Itrdk)

11 Herbey, to you Tighthole Tina is like Crosstie Carrie... with your little cricket dick, you'd have to tie a crosstie across your ass so you don't fall in!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at June 12, 2006 09:05 PM (Itrdk)

12 B2 - Madfish Willie is my filthy bastard blogson. His verbal abuse is just his way of saying "hi". It's not trolling, it's male bonding. Seriously. But you're more than welcome to fuck with him if you want, as long as it's understood that it's play, and not personal.

Posted by: Harvey at June 12, 2006 10:11 PM (L7a63)

13 Erm, okay. I like playing! Doom on you, Madfish Willie! And I like the "B2" thing, lol.

Posted by: the blue square at June 13, 2006 05:21 PM (VJ9r1)

14 Such foul language! I think you meant "d**m" :-D

Posted by: Harvey at June 13, 2006 06:02 PM (L7a63)

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