A while back I discussed "necessary soap story lines" - situations on soap operas that one or more characters will ALWAYS be experiencing - like:

Someone's getting married.

Someone's battling a "fatal" disease.

Someone's having an affair.

Someone has amnesia.

Someone doesn't know who the baby's real father is.

Well, someone's gone me one better. There's now a "Fantasy Soap League". Sorta like Fantasy Football, you pick your characters, and earn points when they find themselves in various classic soap situations. The complete list is too long to post here, but here are some of the 50-pointers to give you an idea:

# Surviving being shot or stabbed
# Surviving a car crash, plane crash, train wreck, motorcycle accident or any accident involving a means of transportation
# Surviving surgery (including plastic surgery)
# Surviving being poisoned
# Having a gun pulled on you
# Murdering someone
# Attempting to murder someone
# Pulling a gun on someone
# Coming in/out of a coma
# Dying
# Coming back from the dead
# Recovering from an illness or medical condition
# Flatlining (appropriate hospital equipment must be heard and/or seen or hospital staff must declare that the character has flatlined)
# Transplant (transplanter and transplantee receive points)
# Character never officially "dies" - but returns after at least a year (12 months) of consistent and visual absence
# Recasting or filling in - When announcement is made that a new actor will be playing the part of or filling in for the part of a character
# Admitting you murdered someone
# Hiring a person/hitman to kill someone.

Plenty of other ways to earn points, too. The complete list can be found at fantasysoapnet.com.

The only catch is that it costs $9.99 to sign up for a 10-week cycle, so I'm out.

Anyway, the only reason I'm mentioning this at all is that I'm tickled that SOMEONE out there admits how pathetically cliche and badly written these shows are.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to watching Days of Our Lives.

[Hat tip to Beloved Wife TNT of Smiling Dynamite for mentioning this to me.]

Posted by: Harvey at 09:52 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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