Three new slabs of meat, ready for the grinder.

Burgers, anyone?

You have just been chosen as the King of the Blogs. Write a speech beginning you reign of terror.

The Bloke of In The Outer:
GOOD POINTS: Arrogant, sucks up a lot.
BAD POINTS: Kind of standard, boiler-plate tyrant bloviation. Could've been more imaginative, like by making me Minister of Public Decency or something. Also, I'm not a big fan of the crossed-out-text approach to humor. You're the dictator. You can use the first draft if you want. Who's going to challenge you?
SCORE: 3

TRC of The Radical Centrist:
GOOD POINTS: I was concerned by some of the early, thoughtful pandering, but in the end, absolute power's absolute corruption came shining through. This line describing policital moderates just slayed me, as did the leftist reaction:

"Beware of the stealth enemy. They look like liberals, but shop at WalMart! Beware!"
The bongo drums on the left rise to a frenzy

BAD POINTS: Didn't call for the immediate wholesale slaughter of catbloggers.
SCORE: 5

Dawn of Randomness:
GOOD POINTS: Threatens to purge the blogosphere based on aesthetics instead of politics. Also manages to sidestep Murphy's Law by NOT having a grammar error in a post criticizing grammar errors. This girl is hardcore, and if I'm ever whacked by a disgruntled KOTB contestant, Dawn would make a good replacement judge.
BAD POINTS: The opening & closing need work. I was a little put off by the 2 cheap misdirection lines at the beginning, but the rest of the piece was good after it warmed up, so I shrugged it off. The Star Wars quote at the end, however, just feels tacked on by someone desperately searching for a way to finish. Helpful hint (which Dawn used to good effect in her submitted post) - make a reference to your opening. Simply signing off with another Princess Bride quote would've been better. For example:

[flips page]

"Man and wife".

In The Outer: Showing Mercy to the Poor
GOOD POINTS: Gives a novel interpretation of the word "poor" as used in a Biblical context:

"those who are so impoverished and incapacitated because they do not have the means either materially, emotionally, or even morally(!), such that they are rendered incapable, or perhaps even unwilling to, give back to you."

I'd never thought of it that way before, and I enjoyed this example of thinking outside the box.
BAD POINTS: Asserts that Western civilization may qualify as "poor" without discussing the specifics of why, giving only vague references to other posts. More detail would've been helpful to make this essay self-contained. Perhaps the information is available in the earlier-linked posts, but then maybe The Bloke should've submitted one of those, instead. A GOOD submitted post has all the information the reader needs. Supportive linkage should be gravy, not necessity.
SCORE: 3

The Radical Centrist: The News Becomes Surreal...
GOOD POINTS: Excellent form on this one - TRC introduces the general topic, gives an interesting quote, then gives his point of view, followed by a conclusion.
BAD POINTS: Did this THREE TIMES in one post. There was a nice segue between the part on the loony Democrats and the part on the silent Democrats, so I'll give that one a pass. However, when the topic moved to Sistani, then the discussion ceases to be about domestic politics, and - with the essay getting rather longish at this point - it would've been better to save that part for a separate post.
SCORE: 4

Randomness: Treading Water
GOOD POINTS: Powerful, gripping, emotional essay on Dawn's slow loss of control over her life and the joy of regaining it. Beautifully done. LOVED the way the ending recalled the beginning and provided perfect closure.
BAD POINTS: No supportive linkage on the Song of Songs quote. Not a big enough deal to ding for, considering how good the rest of the piece was.
SCORE: 5

Here are some technical things I like to see on a blog:

King of the Blogs javascript thingy in the sidebar
Comments enabled
Permalinks working
E-mail contact info available
Blogger's name/pseudonym prominently displayed
Site search feature enabled
Link to an "About Me" post on the sidebar
Blogger's gender is easily discernable
Blogroll
Readable font style & size
Readable color scheme (for example, NOT bright red type on bright green
background)
Divisions between posts clearly marked
Paragraphing in entries (NOT just writing one fat block of text)

Aside from the tech stuff, I also like to see a blogger's personality shining through, to remind us of the person behind the words.

With that in mind...

In The Outer
GOOD POINTS: All the technicals in place. Upgraded to Haloscan comments while leaving old Blogger comments in place for posterity. I would LOVE for Bloke to write a detailed post on this process and send me a link so that I can show all my Blogspotted friends that this CAN be done.
BAD POINTS: Blue is my favorite color, so I like this color scheme, yet... could there be such a thing as "too much" blue? Maybe another color for some of the sidebar stuff? A background pattern to break up the monotony? I don't know. It's functional, yet... a little bland, somehow.
SCORE: 4

The Radical Centrist
GOOD POINTS: Something about using thin colored lines to break a blog into sections just makes me happy. Nice, subtle use of color without going overboard. Content-wise - lots of well-written entries.
BAD POINTS: No search, no "About Me", no author's name, no gender identification... TRC is an excellent writer, but not a good BLOGGER. After folks read all this great stuff, they want to know more about the author. Indulge them, please. At the VERY least, give them a name by which to refer to you. Meanwhile, the code for enabling a Google search on your site can be found here.
SCORE: 3

Randomness:
GOOD POINTS: Well, at least there's no gender confusion. On a personal note, Dawn has the prettiest lips in the world to which I am not married.
BAD POINTS: Wait... this is a blog?... it looks more like just a website with comments enabled. Although it's warm, welcoming & friendly, it's a navigational nightmare. There's a complete lack of sidebars, which is like having a room with no pictures on the walls. Very antiseptic. Very much isolated from the blogging community. Yes, I know there's a "links" page, but it's really not the same thing. I'm sorry, this is really just TOO unbloglike. And, again, here's the Google search code.
SCORE: 2

In The Outer: 10
The Radical Centrist: 12
Randomness: 11

Posted by: Harvey at 04:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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