The Warrior Queen falls victim to a mysterious illness, and will probably fall from the throne.

Was she poisoned by one of her usurpers?

Doubts will linger, but let's see who's next to sit the King of the Blogs chair...

You have just been cast in a new 80's or 90's sitcom. You are the star and the judges, hosts and commissioner are the co-stars. What is the show about, who are you in the show, and who were each of the co-stars cast as? Be sure to include the title, and theme song of the show!

Cyn of Cyn's Sim
Due to being poisoned by usurpers, Cyn was unable to complete the assignment. Off with her head!
SCORE: 0

Jon of Personal Trainer
GOOD POINTS: Forgoes both sleep and personal hygiene in a marathon of blog-reading to find out enough about his subjects to make accurate casting decisions.
BAD POINTS: Nothing really, aside from the always dull "this is my required entry" intro. Next time try just launching directly into the post and giving a hyperlink to the assignment page.

Mostly, though, Jon just had the bad luck to be up against Dory, who went the extra mile on her entry.
SCORE: 4

Dory of Wittenberg Gate
GOOD POINTS: Obviously did some homework to find out who these bloggers in her cast are, but then takes liberties with her artistic license. I was especially amused by the phrase "Harvey's left-wing bias". Bonus for writing her own theme song.
BAD POINTS: The only smudge on this entry is that there's no link to the assignment post on the KotB home page. However, I'm going to let the song bonus make up for this.
SCORE: 5

Cyn's Sim: "The Fling Is Over"
GOOD POINTS: Lots of pointers on how to manipulate men, plus proof that unshaven skinny white guys are hot. Key word "skinny", Michael Moore.
BAD POINTS: The intro is a bit rambly & convoluted. While I understand the need to warm up the mental engine, it frequently improves the post to excise the early noodling parts. Also, the post covers two topics (seducing men and the joy of scruffy). Although it does both well, this probably would've been better covered as two separate posts
SCORE: 4

Personal Trainer: "A Theodicy Proposed"
GOOD POINTS: Very educational. I learned what a "theodicy" is, plus I discovered that Karma is a concept common to both Buddhism and Hinduism - I thought it was just one of them, but I wasn't sure which.
BAD POINTS: Works very hard to tell the story, but crashes on the ending. Could've had a very powerful close by simply stating HIS position in the same form that he stated everyone elses. Something like: "Personal Trainer: Learn from Job and don't try to guess "why". In the interim..." Since he didn't go for the callback and the closure, the result was that same empty feeling one gets from watching the Cubs chase the pennant.
SCORE: 4

Wittenberg Gate: "God Does Not Believe In Atheists"
GOOD POINTS: Love the rhetorical zingers: "Are there atheists railing on about the Easter Bunny? The Tooth Fairy? Black helicopters?" EXCELLENT point.
BAD POINTS: Toward the end of the piece I stumbled over a gap in the entry's flow that sucked all the force out of the conclusion. Third-to-last paragraph is about Christians judging atheists. Second-to-last paragraph is about Christians' belief in their worthyness before God. There's no transition between the two topics, and the change is jarring.
SCORE: 4

Here are some technical things I like to see on a blog:

King of the Blogs javascript thingy in the sidebar
Comments enabled
Permalinks working
E-mail contact info available
Blogger's name/pseudonym prominently displayed
Site search feature enabled
Link to an "About Me" post on the sidebar
Blogger's gender is easily discernable
Blogroll
Readable font style & size
Readable color scheme (for example, NOT bright red type on bright green
background)
Divisions between posts clearly marked
Paragraphing in entries (NOT just writing one fat block of text)

Aside from the tech stuff, I also like to see a blogger's personality shining through, to
remind us of the person behind the words.

With that in mind...

Cyn's Sim:
GOOD POINTS: Just as good last time, with all the technicals in place, plus her pretty picture.
BAD POINTS: Ignored my advice about boosting her title font a few points. Now my feelings are hurt, but I guess I can only put up a nominal ding for that.
SCORE: 4.5

NOTE: Cyn has switched over to an Expression Engine driven blog now, which doesn't have this problem. However, she doesn't have a KotB javascript thingy there, so I'm judging her old site because otherwise I'd have to give her a 0 - the KotB banner is life or death in this tournament.

Personal Trainer:
GOOD POINTS: Good technicals; subtle, understated use of church colors for text and dividing lines. I also ADORE his choice of banner picture, because it PERFECTLY illustrates his tagline of "hope in the shadowlands" by showing... land with shadows. It seems obvious, but I'll bet he searched a long time to find that shot. Also, bonus for excessive use of suck-up linkage to the judges, commissioner, and hosts.
BAD POINTS: There's some hiding of the name that leads to a gender-identification issues (see technicals list). Since Jon lists his name in his "about me" post, I assume he's not seeking anonymity. I strongly recommend that he change the bottom line of his entry template to read "Posted by John at [time]" so that people know that 1) he's a man 2) named Jon. Doing so increases the warmth & welcome quotients of the blog.

Also, rethink the excessive use of extended entries. Hiding text does NOT significantly (or even noticably) reduce load times. However, the time I have to waste clicking that link and waiting for the page to load is VERY noticable. And quite irritating to those on dial-up. Don't irritate your readers. See also my philosophy on extended entry usage.
SCORE: 4

Wittenberg Gate
GOOD POINTS: Good technicals, and a blog whose posts are reliably on theme.
BAD POINTS: Small gender-identification problem. I was surprised to find out Dory was a woman. Probably because I was thinking of the dwarf Dori from "The Hobbit". Might consider changing tagline to "One woman's thoughts on..."

Those colors - burnt orange and gold? My mom used to have those in her kitchen in the 70's. I'm just grateful to be spared the avacado green. Maybe a bright, cheery pastel of some kind. Aesthetics aside, the black type on the burnt orange sidebar is a little eye-strainy. Consider a combination with better contrast.

Finally, another victim of excessive use of extended entries. I want to read you and you're slowing me down. Bad blogger! Don't make me wait for that page to load! Like I told Jon, see my philosophy on extended entry usage. Think about your readers' convenience. Or at least take a survey.
SCORE: 3

Cyn's Sim: 8.5
Personal Trainer: 12
Wittenberg Gate: 12

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