I don't have any children myself, but I *do* have brothers & sisters with kids, which makes me an uncle.

A bad uncle.

Yeah, I'm the one that teaches the kids important life skills that they can use to drive their parents crazy.

Serves 'em right for letting me babysit.

So this week, a bunch of folks are dumping their brats in my lap, and it's my job to make sure they go away a little more creative then when they arrived...

ArmyWife of ArmyWifeToddlerMom submits a picture of a young Elton John... no... wait... that's Pink Ninja.

"If you pull on kitty's tail really hard, but then let go right away, he'll meow, but he won't have time to turn around and scratch you."

Oddybobo of Bobo Blogger gives us... fighter pilots? hunters? rap stars?... at any rate, there's two of 'em.

"Dip your finger in lighter fluid and then light it. The fuel all burns off before it gets too hot."

VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks has the boys out in the yard to watch the Discovery launch. Educational!

"No, seriously, you CAN light them. It makes a big ol' flame just like the shuttle taking off"

Sissy of And What Next... is a little fuzzy on the concept of "kid", since these pictures are from her teen-age years, but we'll roll with it.

"Just pour a little water into the bottle and your folks will never notice that some of it's missing"

Jody of Iowa Geek reminds me of why I'm childless - trying to get baby pictures taken. Round 1 and Round 2.

"Leaving your toys in the doorway makes it easier for mommy to find them so she can put them away."

Amy of Prochein Amy has no pictures of this tender mother-daughter moment... but I think the description precludes the need for a visual.

"Well... it MIGHT be small enough to flush down the toilet. Drop it in and give it a try."

Susie of Practical Penumbra has to dig way down to the bottom of the shoebox to remember when her niece was sweet & innocent.

"When you point at someone, always use your biggest finger so that it's easier for people to see."

Finally, here's an important lesson that I had to discover for myself, since *I* didn't have any cool uncles to teach me this sort of thing:

"When playing with the white sand that your parents brought home as a souvenier from Texas, make sure that you play with it in a carpeted area."

So... anyone need a babysitter?

Next stop: August 8th with Susie of Practical Penumbra

ATTENTION! Karnival of the Kidz needs hosts/hostesses for the August 15th and later editions. Volunteer now, or I'll babysit your kids!

Posted by: Harvey at 10:16 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 497 words, total size 4 kb.

1 ROTFL! This is great.

Posted by: VW Bug at August 01, 2005 10:37 AM (dkZJv)

2 You are my role model for educating my nieces and nephews....

Posted by: Susie at August 01, 2005 10:49 AM (PWYyH)

3 LOL! Brilliant :-)

Posted by: Sally at August 01, 2005 10:50 AM (Q5UbG)

4 Now my kid has a bad uncle and a bad grandpa, man am I in trouble!

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 01, 2005 11:19 AM (6Gm0j)

5 Aw, you're the bestest bad example out there Harv. "Just pour a little water into the bottle and your folks will never notice that some of it's missing" Oh yeah, been there. But if the parent is an occasional drinker only, you will inevitably be caught after 6 months or so of thieving small amounts then adding water. yikes

Posted by: Uber at August 01, 2005 01:09 PM (oXbKj)

6 uh, Harvey is that a kitty litter box you're playing in there? Please tell me you didn't eat the tootsy rolls. Blech

Posted by: Contagion at August 01, 2005 02:11 PM (Q5WxB)

7 white sand, only before labor day!!!!

Posted by: jessinunu at August 01, 2005 03:21 PM (BsjV/)

8 I'll pass on that babysitting offer... but I may keep some of this advice, just to stay ahead of the little one!

Posted by: Jody Halsted at August 01, 2005 08:19 PM (yb2UO)

9 Ok...I had to get something in because it was you hosting! So this is all I had until I have time to scan pictures! :-P

Posted by: Sissy at August 01, 2005 11:09 PM (UelN3)

10 looks like you were playing in a catbox....eww

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at August 02, 2005 12:06 AM (GIY0x)

Hide Comments | Add Comment