Israel's Top Secret War Plans - Revealed!

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

Figured I should follow the lead of the New York Times and start revealing Israel's covert ops, since it's the hip & trendy thing to do when a nation battles terrorists:

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* Use uncircumsized bullets - the full metal foreskin provides extra stopping-power.

* Secretly plant an anti-Semitic parrot in Mel Gibson's house to make him look bad.

* Refer to the terrorists as "tar babies". If they get offended, apologize by saying "We're sorry if our thick Israeli accents made you cry-babies misunderstand what we said."

* Use the Force.

* Develop new head-exploding sonic weapon that transmits a focused beam of Fran Drescher's hideous voice.

* Refuse to negotiate for the release of hostages, but hint that they might be willing to haggle a bit.

* Institute policy of deliberately targeting innocent Lebanese civilians who get paid by Hezbollah to fire rockets into Israel.

* Have IDF stop toying with the terrorists and switch their swords to their right hands.

* Threaten terrorists with ICBM's (Intercontinental Ballistic Mohels)

* As Arabs try to push Israel into the sea, back up real quick and laugh when they fall on their faces.

* Feed Popeye some spinach and tell him Bluto is holding Olive Oyl prisoner in Lebanon.

* Kill terrorists 9 at a time with Ginsu Menorah.

* Get Kos to pick the terrorists to win.

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By the way, revealing these secrets does NOT make me a terrorist supporter. I just think the terrorists have "a right to know".

...how they're going to die.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:41 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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