HURRICANE RELIEF FROM THE UN

(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment cross-posted from IMAO)

Recently the UN offered to assist the US in dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Working through their Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, the UN has requested that all member nations donate whatever they can. Below is a partial list of current pledges:

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Afghanistan - 34 tons of surplus building rubble.

Australia - 20 million cans of Foster's, each with a souvenier crocodile-tooth can opener that says "No Worries, Mate".

Belarus - 10 black-market suitcase nukes for beefing up security against looters.

Bolivia - 10,000 bushels of cocaine to keep the rescue workers alert.

Brazil - 1 million coupons good for a free bikini wax.

Canada - one slightly used hockey stick.

China - 1 million cookies with super extra happy cheerful lucky fun fortunes, like "You find dry soon".

Cuba - 1000 flotation devices

France - Haughty, derisive laughter.

Germany - A crate of emergency lederhosen.

Greece - 200 burly, hirsute homosexuals.

Guyana - 1000 barrels of grape Kool-Aid

Iran - 1500 "freedom fighters" with explosive "liberty belts".

Ireland - 750 belligerent drunks.

Jamaica - 50 bales of weed and 1000 Rasta hats.

Japan - This handy instructional shirt-folding video.

Kenya - 50 "Holy Crap. Lions! Tours" busses.

Saudi Arabia - 1 million sandbags (bags not included)

Somalia - Assorted warlords & gunmen.

Sweden - The Bikini Team.

UK - Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam, and spam.

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Also, rumor has it that Kofi Annan himself will be pledging $10 billion dollars of embezzled funds to the Red Cross.

Or maybe he pledged to embezzle $10 billion from the Red Cross. Hard to tell, his English is only so-so.

Anyway, if you've heard of any other pledges, feel free to mention them in the comments.

If you'd like to MAKE a pledge, see the Red Cross.

Posted by: Harvey at 03:25 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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