July 06, 2006
Cindy Sheehan & Code Pink have started their "Bring the Troops Home Fast", where - in exchange for the following demands:
* The withdrawal of all U.S. from Iraq;* No permanent bases in Iraq;
* A commitment to fund a massive reconstruction effort but with funds going to Iraqi, not U.S., contractors.
they promise to eat regular meals.
Amusingly, Sheehan's idea of a "fast" isn't the normal one of "no food, just water". It's "a diet of water, teas and juices". Possibly the occasional Wendy's Frostie, too, although I don't know if soquids are allowed.
And for those who aren't even willing to give up solid foods - no problem! You can join in the "rolling fast", where you only stop eating on designated days. Yes, you too can share quality hunger-time with such celebrities as Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Danny Glover, Willie Nelson and the Rev. Al Sharpton.
"Stop eating on a designated day"? Guess what, Lefty Idiots, that's not fasting, that's DIETING. Of course "Bring the Troops Home Diet" just doesn't have that martyr-like ring to it.
I imagine, however that this "fasting with food" concept will probably inspire other weak, watered-down protest efforts that require no real sacrifice and have catchy names and the phrase "for the Troops" added so it sounds like they're doing something noble. Maybe protests like:
Poop for the Troops - Use the toilet but refuse to flush.
Death March for the Troops - Don't use your remote control. Walk up to the TV and change channels manually.
Fine for the Troops - Return your library books late.
Hubble for the Troops - When you take vacation pictures, make them slightly blurry.
Hobble for the Troops - Walk around your house barefoot until you stub your toe on a piece of furniture.
Fresh Step for the Troops - Go an extra day before cleaning your cat's litter box.
Get Moore-On for the Troops - Just keep eating until you're as fat as Michael Moore. If you're already there, shoot for Ted Kennedy.
Matte Finish for the Troops - Next time you wash your car, don't wax it.
Agent Orange for the Troops - Stand on the grass right next to a "Keep off the Grass" sign. Move along smartly as soon as a cop yells at you so that you don't actually get into any trouble.
Butterfatless for the Troops - Switch to skim milk.
Burning in the Flaming Cauldron of the Desert Heat for the Troops - Set your central air one degree higher than normal.
Myself, I'll be participating in "Stifle the Dissent of Stupid Neo-Hippies for the Troops" where I'll be mercilessly violating the free speech rights of anonymous trolls by editing their comments to make them look stupid...er.
Posted by: Harvey at
01:38 PM
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