(Introduction)

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[200]

Maximum number of words required to describe the history of the universe.

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(Introduction)

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[(Washington with rabbit ears)]

As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury announced that production has begun on the new "Things that look like a rabbit but aren't" series. First up: "Steve Martin". Coming soon: "Daffy Duck", and "That 1 Guy".

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(Introduction)

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[(rubber stamp: lion head)]

Souvenir of "Holy Crap. Lions! Tours"

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(Introduction)

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[(blue spot by Washington's head)]

Old habits die hard, and even decades after retiring from the Army, Washington would still frequently turn the air blue with his cursing.

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(Introduction)

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[(rubber stamp: MUTILATED)]

As a follow-up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury introduced the first in the new series of "Truth As Handled By The MSM" dollars. Coming soon: "Twisted", "Stretched" and "Ignored".

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(Introduction)

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[(rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

Which I mixed with slacked lime and chicken excrement and sold to the people of Turkmenistan as a substitute for nas.

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(Introduction)

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[Ray 204]

From the "IMAO Space Laser Instruction Book, Chapter 10: The 250 Settings of S.M.I.T.E."

Ray 204 - causes a dark patch to form on the front of a hippie's pants, resulting in much pointing and laughing from non-stupid protest bystanders."

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(Introduction)

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[NO ONION NO RELISH]

The new McCain Feingold bill will forbid the sale of certain hot dog toppings within 30 days of a general election, thus reducing the political influence of Big Onion and Big Pickle.

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(Introduction)

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Check it out. I think I found the Associated Press's "Journalistic Integrity"

Or it might be Reuters'... it's hard to tell.

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(Introduction)

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[From: The Crows]

With his scarecrow finally perfected, Brian eventually quit farming altogether and simply lived off the protection money he collected.

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge - HUGE picture)

[(numerous John Kerry-themed jokes)]

One of many proposed "blind-friendly" currency designs, the new three dollar bill would play the French National Anthem when squeezed.

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(Introduction)

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[Debi's Lounge, Deer Park, Texas, 6963 Hwy 225, Deer Park TX 77536]

Check it out! On the back it says, "2 for 1 special on hummers from Toothless Tanya".

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(Introduction)

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[(red circle around Lincoln's eye)]

Presidential Fun Fact:
In an attempt to capture the youth vote, Lincoln tried to boost his "hip & trendy" quotient with a flamboyant eyebrow piercing.

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[DO NOT SPEND]

I'm going to bet this on the Packers when they play the Bears, which is technically an investment.

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(Introduction)

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[(red squiggly lines)]

Personally, I see NO evidence that this district has been gerrymandered to ensure a Democratic safe seat.

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(Introduction)

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[GEORGE SAYS - "WEED IS GOOD FOR YOU!"]

George also said, "Slavery is peachy", and "Women's sufferage is evil".

Two out of three ain't bad.

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1 Three for three!

Posted by: Graumagus at December 16, 2006 10:14 PM (8P21O)

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: "<" and ">" on either side of portrait)]

In HTML, the <Washington> tag is used to prevent the British from accessing your web page.

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(Introduction)

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[(badly off-center serial numbers printing error)]

Shortly after Matty O'Blackfive was hired by the Treasury to print the serial numbers on $1 bills, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing instituted a "no Irish need apply" hiring policy.

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(Introduction)

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As a follow up to the popular State Quarters program, the Treasury announced that it would start issuing "State Governor Dollars". First up: New Jersey.

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(Introduction)

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[For a good time call 1-800-FUCK-ME]

Yeah, sure, I called the number.

But I hung up as soon as they answered "Skanky Granny's House O'Bondage".

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