(Introduction)

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[IN ALMIGHTY GOD THERE'S ALWAYS LOVE]

Much better than Allah's motto - "Slaughtering the innocent since 622 A.D."

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(Introduction)

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[I [heart] MY MOMMA]

It's cute if it was written by a kid.
Less cute if it was Norman Bates.

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(Introduction)

[SHELBY, we were friends before we were lovers. FRIENDS. Tell me what I need to hear.]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Creepy Stalker Dollars". Coming soon: "Midnight Phone Call", and "I'm Watching You Undress".

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(Introduction)

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[Smile :-) God granted you another day.]

Non-smilers will be struck by lightning.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:50 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 So, your saying I should stock up on lightning rods.

Posted by: Deathknyte at January 27, 2006 09:26 PM (Kebr/)

2

Posted by: Susie at January 28, 2006 06:40 AM (a0oF7)

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(Introduction)

[Good Charlotte]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Non-descript, Post-grunge, Corporate-tool, Faux-alternative Rock Bands With No Street Cred Dollars" Coming soon: "Blink-182" and "Third Eye Blind".

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(Introduction)

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[(chewed-up quarter)]

...and this is your money on Democrats.

Any questions?

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(Introduction)

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[BOMB SADDAM]

I think that instead of bombing this dam, we should try to figure out why it's sad and cheer it up.

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(Introduction)

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[GAY MONEY]

I don't care what consenting currencies do in the privacy of their own wallets, I just don't want to have to watch.

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(Introduction)

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[(Orange shapes by Washington's head)]

Here's our jingle for Goldfish
We wrote a song for Goldfish

The wholesome snack that smiles back
until you bite their heads off!

See the fishes swimming...
Oh look the pretzel's winning...

Didn't that make you feel good about Goldfish?

Here's our Jingle for Goldfish
Crunchy little Goldfish

Oh good we're at the part
Where we show that they're baked and not fried

Did you know they're made
with real cheese
Even though they look like fishies

The snack that smiles back Goldfish.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:13 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 LurkingÂ…

Posted by: Dax Montana at January 19, 2006 05:50 PM (L6TJC)

2 GAH! Geez, Dax, don't sneak up on me like that! :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 19, 2006 06:39 PM (ubhj8)

3 I can't believe you know all the words to that jingle! You should sing it to me the next time we have a blogmeet!

Posted by: ktreva at January 19, 2006 08:30 PM (e8b4J)

4 I wish I could claim I did that from memory. I had to Google it :-)

Posted by: Harvey at January 20, 2006 10:29 AM (ubhj8)

5 i cant believe that you would member all of those words you must b a genius or something! i am telling you what is the truth!

Posted by: undecided at February 23, 2006 05:19 PM (Kb6oV)

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(Introduction)

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[St. Jude Pray for us]

Saint Jude, please pray for us
Take a bus home if you've been drinking
When you're stinking drunk from booze you'll feel sick
Just throw up quick, and you'll feel better.

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(Introduction)

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[THE FIRST TIP]

The second tip I gave to the stripper was that she should try a little Nair on that moustache.

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1

Posted by: Susie at January 18, 2006 07:02 AM (a0oF7)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(dollar that's dark on the left side and light on the right)]

Pessimists see the bill as being "half dark".
Optimists see the bill as being "half light".
Bad Example readers see the bill as being "half dirty".

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(Introduction)

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[(red spots on Washington's head)]

George, I *told* that popping them would only make it look worse...

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(Introduction)
[new bill - not previously posted]

(click to enlarge)

[(creatively folded dollar bill)]

Crazed Bush-haters across America were thrilled to discover proof that - according to the Al-Jazeera conspiracy theory bill-folding technique - an American President named George was a dick.

[Hat tip to RedNeck Ramblings for the Al-Jazeera link]

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

Which'll get ya tossed in the pokey if you live in Albania.

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(Introduction)

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[(I [heart] U)]

Quiz: How well do you know women?

It's Valentine's Day and you only have $3 to your name. Which of the following gives you the best shot at getting a little:

A) Spend all $3 on a Hallmark card full of pastel colors & poetry for your girlfriend?

B) Scrawl a clumsy - but heart-felt - note on one of the dollars and buy her an 8-oz Hershey Bar with the rest.

C) Go to the bar, spend the money on beer, and see if you can sweet-talk a parking-lot-quickie out of the drunk chick in the corner?

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TODAY'S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
(Introduction)
[New bill - not previously posted (and no, I don't actually own this one)]

(click to enlarge)

[(Treasury seal and serial number printed on top of Del Monte fruit sticker)]

Meanwhile at a Jacksonville TV station production meeting...

"We've run out of news stories that make Bush look bad. Should we run some positive news from Iraq?"

"Well, I suppose... oh! Wait!... Here's a $20 bill made in 1996 that has a printing error which is far more timely and important. Better go with that, instead."

[Hat tip to bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity, for whom you should submit interview questions by next Sunday]

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: "BLESSED")]

WWJDS - What Would Jesus' Dollar Say?

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(Introduction)

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[(lower left "1" colored blue)]

"Little blue one"?

Subliminal Viagra advertisement, perhaps?

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(Introduction)

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[Save a tree. Kill yourself]

Next time you're at an Earth First! rally, drop this in their tipjar.

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