(Introduction)

[Good Charlotte]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Non-descript, Post-grunge, Corporate-tool, Faux-alternative Rock Bands With No Street Cred Dollars" Coming soon: "Blink-182" and "Third Eye Blind".

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(Introduction)

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[(red splotch)]

Although it did well in focus groups, the "raspberry jelly center dollar" proved unpopular with the public at large.

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(Introduction)

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[(chewed-up quarter)]

From "Moonraker" - official "Jaws" brand chewing gum.

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(Introduction)

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[BOMB SADDAM]

And the #1 cool thing America did in 2003...

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(Introduction)

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[(rubber stamp: GAY MONEY)]

After this incident, they had to change the policy to "Don't Ask. Don't Tell. Don't Spend".

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(Introduction)

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[(Orange shapes by Washington's head)]

Ok, so his toupee is the color of a traffic cone and it's shaped like a wig that Bozo rejected. It's STILL more natural-looking than Donald Trump's combover.

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(Introduction)

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[St. Jude Pray for us]

St. Jude sighed. Would these Cubs fans NEVER leave him alone?

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(Introduction)

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[THE FIRST TIP]

Just a little souvenier from the days when I used to dance as "Handyman Harvey", wearing nothing but a toolbelt and a smile.

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(Introduction)

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[(dollar that's dark on the left side and light on the right)]

Pessimists see the bill as being "half dark".
Optimists see the bill as being "half light".
Bad Example readers see the bill as being "half dirty".

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(Introduction)

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[(red spots on Washington's head)]

George, I *told* you that popping them would only make them look worse...

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(Introduction)

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[(creatively folded dollar bill)]

Crazed Bush-haters across America were thrilled to discover proof that - according to conspiracy theory bill-folding techniques - an American President named George was a dick.

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

And milked it like a cow!

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(Introduction)

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[(I [heart] U)]

Quiz: How well do you know women?

It's Valentine's Day and you only have $3 to your name. Which of the following gives you the best shot at getting a little:

A) Spend all $3 on a Hallmark card full of pastel colors & poetry for your girlfriend?

B) Scrawl a clumsy - but heart-felt - note on one of the dollars and buy her an 8-oz Hershey Bar with the rest.

C) Go to the bar, spend the money on beer, and see if you can sweet-talk a parking-lot-quickie out of the drunk chick in the corner?

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(Introduction)

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[(Treasury seal and serial number printed on top of Del Monte fruit sticker)]

Ok, this corporate sponsorship crap is just getting WAY out of hand...

[Hat tip to bloggreatgranddaughter Sticks of From Chaos to Serendipity]

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: BLESSED)]

Wow! If you thought the ACLU had a fit over "In God We Trust", just wait till they see the NEW design!

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(Introduction)

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[(lower left "1" colored blue)]

Because the eye is drawn to the spot of color, viewers will typically not notice that Washington is completely nude in this portrait.

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(Introduction)

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[Save a tree. Kill yourself]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released the first in its new series of "Fun Things To Say To Piss Off Hippies Dollars". Coming soon: "You're a Feminist? That's so CUTE!", and "Al Gore? Wasn't he that 70's R&B singer?".

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(Introduction)

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[(Red stain in flame-like pattern)]

As a follow-up to its popular State Quarters program, the Treasury released "Painted Flames" as the first in its new series of "Redneck Truck Accessories Dollars". Coming soon: "Rebel Flag", and "Duct-Taped Bumper".

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(Introduction)

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[(big red spot on Washington's face)]
As punishment for chopping down the cherry tree, George's father buried him in cherries up to his eyeballs. His skin was stained red for weeks. However, he learned his lesson and never picked up a hatchet again. Except when he was hacking up British soldiers.

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(Introduction)

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[(hat, eye liner, postage stamp moustache)]

Rocky Hitler Dollar Show

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