(Introduction)

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[I [heart] Christina]

"OO!" thought Miss Aguilera, "what a thoughtful gift! I'll put this over my crotch and have my picture taken, since that'll mean that I won't technically be nude. Only sleazy skanks pose NUDE!"

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(Introduction)

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[(new 20)]

That blue bird on the left side of the bill is NOT an eagle. It's actually supposed to represent a quail dodging a load of birdshot from Dick Cheney's gun.

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(Introduction)

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[Happy Birthday Linda Love, Glory & Allen]

"It's just what I wanted," exclaimed Linda, "a new coke straw!"

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(Introduction)

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[(red stripe over Washington's portrait)]

To help prevent counterfeiting, the new design for the $1 bill includes the "cinnamon flavor strip" security feature.

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1 LOL!!! I guess that explains the new 10s, huh?

Posted by: Susie at March 27, 2006 10:26 PM (a0oF7)

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: Where is John Croll)]

One of hundreds of Ayn Rand's "near misses" as she struggled to perfect the opening line of "Atlas Shrugged".

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

...and I used it to make Keef Kat, Toka-Cola, Stoney Ranchers, Trippy peanut butter and Pot Tarts

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(Introduction)

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[Fran lost a bet]

Well... sort of.

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(Introduction)

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[(Paper quarter)]

From "Counterfeiting For Dummies", p. 137:

"When counterfeiting coinage, resist the temptation to hand-draw, and keep in mind that paper is NOT an appropriate medium for this endeavor."

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(Introduction)

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[Bud Money]

From "Blackfive's Guide to Serious Drinkin' for the Non-Irish", p. 27:

"Shortly after inventing the Irish Palm Pilot, I came up with yet another brilliant idea:

On Dollar Beer Night, always label your bills before you head out to the bar. That way, even if you're too drunk to remember what to order, you can still get the beer you want.

Think of it as a 'designated driver' for your wallet."

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(Introduction)

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[THE CURE FOR CANCER & DISEASE DOESN'T LYE IN ANIMALS. END CRUELTY. END VIVISECTION]

Signed, Algernon

President

Lab Rats for the Ethical Treatment of Lab Rats

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(Introduction)

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[One love to another Some day I'm going to marry you. I love you with everything I have. I would do anything just to see you smile.]

Someday Kevin WILL find his precious Denise.

[Link courtesy of IMAO's Cadet Happy]

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(Introduction)

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[OOMPA LOOMPA SPEND ME WISELY AND HAVE FUN IN CALI!]

As a reward for all their hard work, Willy Wonka gave each Oopma Loompa $20 and sent them off to Disneyland.

Unfortunately, the INS mistook them for midget wrestlers and deported them all to Mexico.

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(Introduction)

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[I'm in Saturday school at West Aurora High School in Aurora IL this bill was already looking rough when I got it. E-mail CLpurtiboi@yahoo.com let me know]

Now he's doing 20-to-life in Pelican Bay, and he wishes he weren't so "purti".

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(Introduction)

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[SEX FOR THE PRESIDENT, TAX FOR THE PISSANT]

Yet another rejected slogan for Clinton's '96 campaign.

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(Introduction)

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[(Washington smoking)]

Useful for paying the fine if you get a ticket for smoking in a Madison bar.

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

... in a secret underground facility in Tennessee.

[Hat tip: blogson Madfish Willie for the link]

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(Introduction)

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[(badly scratched penny)]

Symbolic representation of President Bush's political credibility after the Dubai port deal backlash.

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(Introduction)

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[(Hand-colored dollar bill)]

When asked why this design was turned down in favor of the more subdued color schemes that were finally approved, Treasury Secretary John Snow was quoted as saying, "Look, I'm just not secure enough in my manhood to have American currency looking THAT g... uh, festive."

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(Introduction)

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[(Washington smoking a bong)]

Judging by the plumes of smoke, I'm guessing Clinton wasn't the only President who "didn't inhale".

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(Introduction)

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[(purple stains)]

Color check - The stains on this dollar bill are orange. If they appear as any other color, your computer has a dangerous virus which can only be fixed by entering your name, date of birth, and Social Security Number into this post's comments.

Posted by: Harvey at 09:49 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 hmm . . . looks to me like President Washington liked to experience purple haze . . .

Posted by: Andrew Ravencroft at March 08, 2006 01:07 PM (o+sy7)

2 My name is Mike Jones (I got that purple drank), my dob is January 6, 1981, and my SSN is 281-330-8004! j/p [inundated with too much rap here at UMCP] Baba

Posted by: Mike Jones at March 08, 2006 01:36 PM (nxgRE)

3 "in other news, the federal government just released a new study proving, once and for all, that tie-dying dollar bills will not, in fact, make hippies work harder..."

Posted by: The Random Yak at March 08, 2006 01:46 PM (3K2F+)

4 Random Yak -- Ha! Good one!

Posted by: Richmond at March 08, 2006 03:27 PM (e8QFP)

5 RY- No, but it will force them to be still for hours staring at the 'pretty colors' while Cheney reloads.

Posted by: Rave at March 08, 2006 04:25 PM (Fir0Z)

6 Charles F. Chadwick June 14, 1985 604-76-8201

Posted by: Chuck at March 08, 2006 06:24 PM (JXgKx)

7 Blogless yo. Brother 01-01-1980 123-45-6789

Posted by: blogless brother at March 08, 2006 09:41 PM (vQOcz)

8 Darn. My computer's failed the color test too. Better give you the info. Charon Blackpowder 32-13-87 666-66-6666

Posted by: ssj2gunslinger at March 08, 2006 10:26 PM (l77LJ)

9 Looks purple. Gregor V. Deathknyte 12-25-1294 000-00-0002

Posted by: Deathknyte at March 09, 2006 05:37 PM (4JFX8)

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