(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: QUEER $)]

Of *course* I'll take his money!

I may be an intolerant, right-wing homophobe, but I'm a GREEDY intolerant, right-wing homophobe.

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: CRAIG HELDT)]

A secret agent under cover so deep that not even Google knows who the hell he is.

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(Introduction)

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[("20" written over the 1's in all 4 corners of the bill)]

It's not enough just to buy "Counterfeiting For Dummies", you actually have to follow the instructions, too.

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(Introduction)

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[(Rubber stamp: Support the Seperation of Church and State www.godoffmoney.com]

Or support the separation of idiots and rubber stamps at www.useyourdamnspellchecker.com

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(Introduction)

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[Happy Birthday Granny - Love Pie Face]

Yes, Granny loved Pie Face, and wished that she could cherish his gift forever...

But Granny also needed a beer, and tappers were a buck a piece at the VFW...

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(Introduction)

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[Davis 12x2=24]

From "Victor Davis Hanson: The Unauthorized Biography", p 17:

"Although today the strength of his writing is legendary, Victor was a poor student as a youth, sometimes resorting to the use of 'crib notes' when answering questions like 'What is 12 times 2?' and 'Name?'"

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(Introduction)

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[IF YOU SAVE THIS DOLLAR AND PUT THIS MESSAGE ON 10 1 dollar bills YOU WILL BE BLESSED W/MORE $]

Bah! You kids today... you have it SO easy, with your spam-pyramids and your state lotteries... Back in MY day, we had to make up our own ineffectual money-for-nothing schemes, and by golly, we LIKED it that way!

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(Introduction)

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[(George Washington missing face)]

Face/Off 2: Dead Presidents - John Travolta returns as Sean Archer, who must disguise himself as a dollar bill to infiltrate a counterfeiting ring in this woefully underbudgeted sequel.

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(Introduction)

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[1st customer 7-20-00 Porter County Fair]

7 more customers received commemorative bills. Customers 9 & 10 got nothing, since the carny at the gate had lost two fingers in a Ferris Wheel accident the year before.

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(Introduction)

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[(burned $5 bill]

Stacy of Dorannes wants her bribe money for saying I'm funny. I'll just give her this $5 I got from that idiot Johnny Storm, who bet on the Seahawks.

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(Introduction)

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[Keep America clean - Eat a pigeon]

From page 26 of "Muppet Rage: Bert's Dark Journey":

"But what could make such a quiet, well-beloved, pigeon-fancier become the apotheosis of evil? No one knows for sure, but one theory - based on this bill found next to Ernie's mutilated corpse - suggests that Bert's long-time roommate may have triggered the rampage by one too many episodes of pigeon-bashing."

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(Introduction)

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[Kill Osama]

May I recommend Death By Bulunga?

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(Introduction)

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[Dear "God" I Want $27,000]

HELPFUL HINT: For best results when asking an omnipotent supreme deity for a favor, try omitting the sneer quotes around his name.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1

Posted by: Susie at February 08, 2006 05:05 AM (a0oF7)

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(Introduction)

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[St. Lazarus anyone who receives this bill will be blessed with lots of money if they write this on 10 other bills.]

Maybe you'd have better luck praying to "Saint Stop-Drinking-And-Start-Working"?.

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(Introduction)

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[Bruiser.com]

Not to be confused with wife-beaters.com, purveyors of fine cotton undergarments.

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(Introduction)

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[Happy Mother's Day 5-9-99]

Normally I only tip strippers with one dollar bills, but I felt sorry for Mom because she had to work on a holiday.

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(Introduction)

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[(Swastika on either side of Washington, who's sporting a postage-stamp moustache)]

Drawn by a Neo-Nazi? Or perhaps just someone who likes Charlie Chaplin & pinwheels?

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