I'll be in sunny Jamaica for a while, and I don't expect to have internet access, so posting should be non-existant until around November 13th. If for some reason I *do* post something between now & then, it'll appear below this post.
Meanwhile, my horse-dog Jake has kindly volunteered to stand watch for the duration. I'm sure I can count on my good-natured readership to respect his authority and not get up to any devilment in the comments while I'm gone.
1
*sneaking in the back door due to what look like either laser beam motion detectors or red licorice all over the front door*
"Hello! Anyone home?"
Coast is clear.
That sure is a funny looking cat! Why would anyone saddle up a big cat like that?
"Here Kitty Kitty"
Posted by: KEEME at November 03, 2004 11:32 PM (vDQAX)
2
"Here, Jake! I've got some special hamburger for you! That's right boy... eat up, you may feel a little sleepy, but you'll be alright. Good boy! Nighty nite!"
OK, everyone! Let's tear this place up!!!
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 04, 2004 01:33 AM (BUkfD)
Posted by: vw bug at November 04, 2004 06:44 AM (sY1dG)
4
*looking outside* *looks in garage* Hello?! *no car anywhere to be found*
Awww, look at Jake sleeping. Oh look *see's Jake's legs twitching* he's running in his sleep. Good puppy!
*See closet door* Locked? *picks lock* Wowzer! Look at all of this redi-whip! I've never seen a wine cabinet converted to a redi-whip closet of THIS size! Harv's got issues.
Hey look *picks up box* there's a slip n' slide in here too! Woohoo! I found some toys. Where's the pool?!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 07:50 AM (2P/wO)
5
*Heading straight for Blogpop's secret closet*
*Pulling out swing, toys, and twister mat*
WOOHOO, lets party like its.. well today!
Hey girls, don't forget some of those toys from the sex party!
Posted by: Machelle at November 04, 2004 08:09 AM (ZAyoW)
6
Now who would have thought to put Redi-whip in the garage? Don't need that kitchen now.
Posted by: vw bug at November 04, 2004 08:55 AM (yGSk0)
7
Of course not, Harv, we would never invade your space, get nekid, and play strange versions of Twister, using up most of your condiments and all of your alcohol, let alone run rampant with your underpants on our heads.
Nope, not a bit.
Uh-uh.
Did anyone find the caramel? Can't play Twister without caramel sauce.
Posted by: LeeAnn (the cheesey one) at November 04, 2004 09:14 AM (vqSdN)
8
Oh! I found it...why would it be in this big box under the bed? That's an odd place to store it. *Looking further into box* Wow, why would these hand-cuffs be in here with the caramel sauce too? Hey look at that, these have leopard fur on them. I've heard that prevents marks...good ol' Harv, always thinking of us girls!
*shudders* Uh, I don't
even want to know what this is for! I've never seen anything shaped like that before. Any ideas...never mind...don't want to know! *runs back to living room from scary box*
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 09:22 AM (2P/wO)
9
OK - caramel sauce was on the top of my list!! Good Girls.
How strong is this kitchen table? *standing up on it* Ouch, damn ceiling fan. Hey T1G, can you help me get this thing down? How's a girl supposed to dance when she's gotta worry about clearance?
Posted by: Tammi at November 04, 2004 09:25 AM (UOdfZ)
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 04, 2004 09:47 AM (Uq/6d)
11
Sorry, I can't help you get anything _down.
Although, clearly, you've helped me get something *UP*.
Besides, those fans hold the swings really well.
I see at least he left the liquor cabinet fully stocked.
And with the Bartender here...
Posted by: _Jon at November 04, 2004 10:13 AM (R6yie)
12
Well I think as a toast to Harv & Beloved's trip. Bartender, Bahama Mama's all around!
And lets follow that up with a Tequilla Sunrise. A good way to start the day!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 10:26 AM (2P/wO)
13
Yay! Hey, never mind the house, lets see what Harvey has on his comput...
[faints]
Posted by: Sally at November 04, 2004 11:02 AM (a1D32)
14
Hey Sall....oh my goodness! What.is.that?! *faints in doorway*
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 11:18 AM (2P/wO)
15
Wow, two unconscious women - let's have some fun.
Hey! Cool movies on the PC, dude!
Posted by: _Jon at November 04, 2004 11:36 AM (R6yie)
16
Damn you, Harvey, you promised me you deleted those files! What if my mom hears about them?
On the other hand, why aren't I getting any royalty checks? Hmmmm.....
Posted by: LeeAnn (the cheesey one) at November 04, 2004 11:56 AM (vqSdN)
17
*sitting up* What the...hey! How did I get in this French Maid costume?! JON!
The last thing I remember was looking for Sally...*looking around* Sally?! Hey you look cute as a cowgirl! Love the chaps! You know, I remember the computer screen. Who knew that a body could do
THATi>!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 12:24 PM (2P/wO)
18
Hey lets take the saddle off the dog and strap it onto one of the guys so we can play horsey!
Any takers?
With how good I've been with exercising lately I think I can afford a nice drink involving whip cream
Blow Job please!
Posted by: Machelle at November 04, 2004 01:12 PM (ZAyoW)
19
**singing**
Well I'm an eight ball shooting double fisted drinking son of a gun
I wear My jeans a little tight
Just to watch the little boys come undone
Im here for the beer and the ball busting band
Gonna get a little crazy just because I can
You know im here for the party
And i aint leavin til they throw me out
Gonna have a little fun gonna get me some
You know im here, I'm here for the party
I LOVE THAT SONG. Come on guys, crank that music.
Damn, I'm parched. Any of that tequila over there?
Ohhhh....whats this?!? Naughty Harvey, ya'll remember this line?
Harvey exemplified on October 31, 2004 08:45 PM
Just be glad I didn't model the leopard spot thong ;-)
Well, I found it!!! Hey _Jon, you up to modeling for us?!?!? VaVaVaVoom
Posted by: Tammi at November 04, 2004 01:27 PM (UOdfZ)
Posted by: Mr Henkey at November 04, 2004 01:27 PM (Uq/6d)
21
Love that song! Hey back that tape player up one and play Redneck Woman for me!
I found the tequilla over here *reaches behind bar*. Hey! *holds up bottle* What happened to the worm?! he he he he he
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 01:43 PM (2P/wO)
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Wha..? Why am I dressed like Christina Aguilera? Did someone put black wool in my hair while I was passed out?
Posted by: Sally at November 04, 2004 01:58 PM (a1D32)
23
Save a horse ladies. Ride a cowboy!
Bartender is serving dawg squeeze anyway.
Posted by: tbflowers at November 04, 2004 02:13 PM (lB5XT)
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Jake... jake... poor fella.
splain somfin to me will ya? I'd have sworn that you're doggy style is what we call horseback. But hey, if it don't hurt, you must be doing it right.
Posted by: tbflowers at November 04, 2004 02:16 PM (lB5XT)
25
QUICK!
Somebody get tbflowers away from Jake the dog.
He's talking to the dog about having sex.
AGH, EWE
btw: Save a horse, ride a cowboy is on the radio right now.
Posted by: Machelle at November 04, 2004 02:50 PM (ZAyoW)
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I dunno if wearing a saddle and a thong is such a good idea... But if that's what the ladies want, that's what the ladies get...
Posted by: _Jon at November 04, 2004 02:55 PM (R6yie)
27
OMG! We're gonna get in so much troub...
I found his car-keys! Who wants to go for a "spin"?
Posted by: Sally at November 04, 2004 03:12 PM (a1D32)
28
Woohoo! Hey Sal...betcha can't make 3 perfect donuts in the front yard! *tires squealing* Hey, look out for the tree...points off if you hit anything!
Bartender! I'll have a long neck. I've got a bucko to ride! *evil grin* Now where are my spurs?
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 04, 2004 03:26 PM (2P/wO)
29
Hey VW, bring your kids Sit-n-Spin to the party.
That should be lots of fun, spinning drunks and then watching them walk.
Hey, Quality Experiment idea!!! (Design of Experiments for you Engineer nerds out there)
Does spinning on the sit-n-spin make you do donuts better? And how many spins are optimal?
Posted by: Machelle at November 04, 2004 03:41 PM (ZAyoW)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 04, 2004 04:01 PM (Uq/6d)
31
Hey! SPURS!!!!! NO FAIR!!!
OW!
I need someone to kiss this boo-boo and make it better... :snicker:
Posted by: _Jon at November 04, 2004 04:44 PM (RZ4Hy)
32
*Climbing in through the back window*
Hey what's the idea of locking the back door? Are you keeping people in or out?
And has anyone taken a look in the shed out back yet? I'll get the bold cutters out of the jeep!
Posted by: GEBIV at November 04, 2004 05:29 PM (T6YnG)
33
Dude! What took you so long?? Have a drink - what can I get ya?
Oh, the door? Well, you see, it's just, well....we were worried about someone trying to break in. Yeah, Yeah that's it.
Posted by: Tammi at November 04, 2004 06:38 PM (UOdfZ)
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I think it was something about not wanting "back door bandits".
Well, MW might like them, but *I* don't!
:evil grin:
Posted by: _Jon at November 04, 2004 06:43 PM (RZ4Hy)
35
Just a diet Pepsi for me, I'm driving later. (Besides, it's much more fun to watch drunk people when you're sober.)
I found my bolt cutters. *SNIP*
Wow.
That's a lot of Jello.
*Shouting back to the house* Anyone know what to do with 380 tons of jello? Lime, I think.
Posted by: GEBIV at November 04, 2004 06:49 PM (T6YnG)
36
oooooooo...
I'm tellin' Herbie!!!
Posted by: Joshua at November 04, 2004 07:00 PM (IvQZU)
37
Jello?!?! WooHoo!!
Hey ya'll. Somebody bring some of that Reddi-Whip in to the "rec" room, let's add the jello and fill up this hot tub!
Talk about fun!!!!!!!!!!! Don't worry, the green will come out of the carpet eventually (I hope)
Posted by: Tammi at November 04, 2004 07:31 PM (UOdfZ)
38
Hey! Someone show me where to hook up the garden hose and I'll start filling the hot tub!
*Mutters to self* Now where are we going to get a mixer big enough for all of this...
Posted by: GEBIV at November 04, 2004 07:42 PM (T6YnG)
39
I made it! Wait. Damn. I thought this was still a
costume party.
Posted by: Boudicca at November 04, 2004 09:10 PM (XH1zZ)
40
Forget the tub - let's just tape the windows shut, put some plastic wrap across the bottom of the door and turn the whole room into a giant jello tub!
Posted by: _Jon at November 04, 2004 09:10 PM (RZ4Hy)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 04, 2004 09:10 PM (Uq/6d)
42
Hey how come no one tells me there's a party? I'm out fighting comment spam and y'all are over here with the Readi Whip and Caramel sauce... just for that I'm keeping the chocolate sauce to myself! Na Na Na Na!
Posted by: Teresa at November 04, 2004 09:34 PM (nAfYo)
43
Gee. It's getting pretty late. Is there somewhere I can roll out my sleeping bag?
Preferrably where I won't get woken up by people doing Jello high-dives...
But first, somebody get Teresa a drink so she'll share that chocolate sauce!
Posted by: GEBIV at November 04, 2004 10:55 PM (T6YnG)
44
*sneaking in, mumbling to self* What a "Carnival of Freaks!" Harvey would be so proud!
*grabs beer and tiptoes out door*
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 05, 2004 01:01 AM (b6YTO)
45
*stumbles back in ... still mumbling to self*
Need more beer. Or a bottle will ..... helloooooo, nurse! Check out the nun! Ohhh, wait ... that's Bou! Nasty thought's T1G, nasty! She's your sister for crying out loud!
*staggers out door*
*staggers back in, grabs beer, bottle, and tumbles out the door*
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 05, 2004 03:13 AM (b6YTO)
46
Don't you think were going just a little over the edge in filling the whole house with jello?
How bout just knee deep in jello.
Hey Teresa if we let you take the next ride on Jon will you share your Chocolate sauce? Pretty please, with sugar on top?
Posted by: Machelle at November 05, 2004 07:01 AM (ZAyoW)
47
Ooooh - that's what I like to see, two women with contention over the chocolate sauce....
But, Teresa, if that's what you want, here, lemme poor it all over you and let (everyone) lick it off...
Posted by: _Jon at November 05, 2004 07:51 AM (grH7t)
48
*stumbles in walking slightly awkwardly* Gotta tell ya girls, _Jon gives a great ride! The thong gets iffy a few times, but it's a great show!
*Looking around* Wow, who knew there was this much Jello available?! May I make a suggestion? Let's turn the A/C down really low and add a little liquor to this and we've got ourselves some really BIG electric jello! Or how about just filling the pool outside? Cheap and easy!
*hears buzzing sounds* Where is that coming from?!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 05, 2004 08:07 AM (2P/wO)
49
ooh, you can have chocolate sauce without Redi Whip
*squirting Teresa with Redi Whip*
Posted by: Machelle at November 05, 2004 08:08 AM (ZAyoW)
50
*sneaks in through the back and sees jello and the twister mat set up*
OHHhhh, nekkid jello twister, anyone? Who else is in???
*she grabs 20 boxes of cherry jello and starts to strip*
Posted by: Anathematized1 at November 05, 2004 10:41 AM (ad3Dp)
51
Hmmm, let's see ... How much better could this get:
- Women squirting each other with chocolate, perhaps Rheddi Whip...
- Large room of jello where said women can wrestle...
- Cold A/C to make chocolate & whip covered women wrestling in jello even more "perky"...
We should do this more often....
Posted by: _Jon at November 05, 2004 11:11 AM (grH7t)
52
Hey, _Jon's made me think of something that I'm suprised nobody's thought of yet ....BODYSHOTS!!!!
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 05, 2004 11:16 AM (JuiYu)
53
COOL! I get to go first. I'd like _Jon and T1G to line up here on the kitchen counter. Lose the shirts boys! This is Ladies First!
*grabs bottle of tequilla, lemon and salt shaker* *Looks around* Alright girls, we've got a couple of good examples of men here for body shots. I say we hit the twister board for which area to shoot off of first.
*flips coin* Who wants to go first?! *evil grin*
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 05, 2004 11:26 AM (2P/wO)
54
Please don't pour the tequilla in the spur marks...
Posted by: _Jon at November 05, 2004 11:35 AM (grH7t)
55
*hopping on counter, much too eagerly*
Alright, but you all will have to return the favor ....
*very evil grin*
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 05, 2004 11:59 AM (JuiYu)
56
"Hey who put up the for sale sign out front? And I think the place is worth more that a bucket of chicken (as advertised). There are a line of cars with hundreds of folks lined up to see the 'open house' yikes!"
*Thinks about how to make this work for evil*
[from the front door Keeme tells the people this is a clothing optional open house]
"Get more jello, STAT!"
Posted by: KEEME at November 05, 2004 02:53 PM (vDQAX)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 05, 2004 03:48 PM (Uq/6d)
58
A bucket of chicken?! Holy crap, Lion Tours! I think we should get more than that. I mean come on, look at all the people here! *looks around*
And I think we need to find more than just jello to substantiate ourselves with...*looks through phone book* Hey look! The Liquor Store delivers! I know we need more tequilla and beer. What else? I'm thinking a nice 60 year scotch should be good! Any requests? I'm placing an order!
*sees kiddie pool overflowing with lime jello* Hmmm, anybody know if goats eat jello? I found one in Harv's garage. And why *holding up deflated object* would anyone need an inflatable sheep?! Eeeewwwwwwww!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 05, 2004 04:16 PM (2P/wO)
59
I think I'll charge admission... heh
Hey, speaking of 'heh' - do you think we could get puppy blender to visit? I'll invite him.
A goat huh. Wellllll that means I need some peanut butter - order a gallon of that please.
Do you think there is any chance he left a spare credit card in his desk? Drat! It's locked. I don't wanna break it open - don't wanna *ruin anything*.
Posted by: _Jon at November 05, 2004 05:19 PM (RZ4Hy)
60
I'm back!!! Sorry it took so long, but I had a hard time finding the right liquior to mix with the jello.
Hey....body shots!! I wanna play, I wanna play. Belly up there T1G......
;-)
Posted by: Tammi at November 05, 2004 07:07 PM (UOdfZ)
61
inflatable sheep..
heh
"luv ewe" hehehe
Posted by: Joshua at November 05, 2004 07:08 PM (IvQZU)
62
Oh dear mother of god...
Don't rub that on the walls! Put that DOWN! Put those AWAY!... was that a D-cup?... NEVERMIND THAT NOW!
JUST STOP IT ALL OF YOU HEATHENS!!
[Tammi slaps Guinness in Mike's hand, shoots him a "There, ya happy now?" look]
BRILLIANT!!! Disregard... carry on...
Posted by: Mike the Marine at November 05, 2004 07:14 PM (PK/tF)
63
Inflatable sheep hmmm...
*changes into Bo-Peep costume*
Anyone want to help me find my lost sheep?
Posted by: Machelle at November 05, 2004 07:20 PM (pSogK)
64
*Wades through limp, sexually exausted bloggers and pools of baby oil*
Aggh! I paid $9 for these jeans at "Fast Eddie's Used Denim World"! Don't get
that on them. Sheesh!
I came by to proclaim that I'm going out tonight to celebrate our grand political victory. I am seven beers in and feeling good! It took me three tries to type that last sentence! Free Nelson Mandela!
*Storms out wiping a hopefully non-biological creamy substance from his pants*
S
Posted by: sandor at the zoo at November 05, 2004 07:31 PM (FlCAh)
65
*see's fresh blood and pounches*
Hey Sander, welcome to the party. Bars over there, twister over there, slip n slide gets you from the kitchen to the living room, Reddi Whip closet is over there, jello room over there.
Stay awhile, we promise to be nice with the new comer.
*fingers crossed behind my back*
Posted by: Machelle at November 05, 2004 07:37 PM (pSogK)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 05, 2004 08:06 PM (Uq/6d)
67
*Holds up squirming sleeping bag*
Hey! Who did you tie up in my sleeping bag while I was at work? And if she's pretty, do I get to keep her...?
By the way, there's a guy outside with about 50 pizzas. Has anyone found Harvey's wallet yet?
Posted by: GEBIV at November 05, 2004 08:44 PM (T6YnG)
68
No wallet, but I found this jar of pennies. Pizza guy can count 'em out cause I'm gettin' into the wading pool. I like the way it feels when I squish the jello between my toes.
Posted by: Anathematized1 at November 05, 2004 09:33 PM (sZbXo)
69
I can't believe Harvey didn't trust any of us, his beloved blogfamily, to do a little responsible guest-posting while he's away.
I'm hurt.
As if we could possibly do any harm...
Posted by: Sally at November 06, 2004 07:23 AM (a1D32)
70
Sally - considering Harvey, he probably couldn't figure out how to give anyone guest posting privilages....
Sandor - didn't you read the "no pants allowed" sign on the front lawn?
Hey, the UPS guy is here!
"I'll sign for that. No, I'm his son. Thanks"
"Hey everybody, what do you think Harvey got in this 'discreet package'?"
Posted by: _Jon at November 06, 2004 08:47 AM (RZ4Hy)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 06, 2004 09:43 AM (Uq/6d)
Posted by: Sally at November 06, 2004 01:12 PM (a1D32)
73
Speeking of little critters, anyone know how to get this grill fired up? Or should I just cook
Harv's my steaks on the burning couch?
Posted by: GEBIV at November 06, 2004 03:35 PM (T6YnG)
74
Hey, I've got a molitov cocktail in the trunk, will that start the grill?
Posted by: Ogre at November 06, 2004 06:19 PM (1maCi)
75
Hmmmm steaks and beer. It don't get much better than that. Well, and Jello for dessert!
Hey? Where's my swing at? I know I brought it...damn, where did I put that thing?
Sally? Sally, get down from there, you can't hook that to the ceiling fan, you'll.......cool. You landed right in the middle of the jello/reddi-whip pile.
Can I try?
Posted by: Tammi at November 06, 2004 07:20 PM (UOdfZ)
76
*rummaging through the UPS package*
Hey Cool, Body Paints, ooh ediable body paints!
Hmmm, who wants to get painted first?
Posted by: Machelle at November 06, 2004 07:27 PM (VYIK/)
77
"HEY Y'ALL! The pizza guy and the liquor cat are taking trades in lieu of Money!!! So far I have traded a microwave and some spoons and forks in a box labeled heir-something (old crap from like hundreds o'years ago)".
[eyes some paintings on the walls and that silly looking cat again]
Posted by: KEEME at November 06, 2004 08:21 PM (vDQAX)
78
"OK! Who placed a big red bow on my... um.. er...
on me?"
*This clothing optional party is fun no mater how many cops are outside*
"COPS!!!! ARE OUTSIDE!!!!"
Posted by: KEEME at November 06, 2004 08:25 PM (vDQAX)
79
Don't worry Keeme. They're here for us.
Oh Girls..........
The strippers are here!!
HeLLo Officer? Got Handcuffs. ;-)
Posted by: Tammi at November 06, 2004 08:32 PM (UOdfZ)
80
Somehow "up against the wall and spread 'em" just took on a whole new meaning.
Posted by: LeeAnn at November 06, 2004 08:53 PM (vqSdN)
81
Cool! Can we get firemen too? We can? That many? O.K, let me just get the credit card. Yes that's right, O..L..S..O..N..
(Meanwhile in Jamaica)
Harv: There must be some mistake. Can you please swipe my card again?
Posted by: Sally at November 07, 2004 05:05 AM (a1D32)
82
*rushing to Sally with an armload of Victoria's Secret and Frederick's of Hollywood catalogs*
As long as you're ordering out, I think we could use some of these... and these... oooh, and a dozen of these outfits too.
Posted by: LeeAnn (the cheesey one) at November 07, 2004 09:10 AM (vqSdN)
83
Hey everyone, over here! I found Harv's computer and he left himself logged in -- and the cookies stored all his debit cards and he left Quicken open with his checking account info.
I'm going to buytonsOcrapnow.com, anyone need anything else? They ship fast, so it will arrive before the party ends! Sally, wipe that dripping jello off before you come over here by the computer.
Edible paints? Errr...Sally, you can take over ordering, I've a masterpiece to paint. Machelle, hand those paints over and...
Posted by: Ogre at November 07, 2004 09:38 AM (1maCi)
84
EVERYBODY! MAMBA!!!!!!
Posted by: GEBIV at November 07, 2004 12:14 PM (dW0Nq)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 07, 2004 12:27 PM (Uq/6d)
86
Hey! Look what I found! *Holds up advertisement* It's a maid service! They clean TOPLESS! I say we book them for the day before Harv arrives! Leave a few clues that we were here, but let the rest be a surprise!
*Looks through photo album* Hey! What party was this from?! http://www.ebaumsworld.com/dayafterparty.html Wow! Looks interesting, from an outsider point of view.
Hey Tammi! Look, Harv has satellite! With one quick phone call, we've got the NFL Package Baby! Whose your girl?!
_Jon, I still owe you one for the ride. What'll it be? The drinks on me! ;D
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 07, 2004 12:39 PM (HxxCW)
87
**Wagner's "Ride of the Valkeries" blares through the sky as a large cargo chopper with a huge pallette of beer, sex toys, cases of scotch, leather goods, and Graumagus is lowered onto Harv's front lawn**
Sorry I'm late guys, I had to make a few shopping stops. I'm sure harvey won't mind me using his credit cards. I maxed them all, I really hope he doesn't feed food or anything while he's in a foreign country....
Posted by: Graumagus at November 07, 2004 04:32 PM (oGfV1)
88
Buc's won. Time for Tammi's happy dance....
Clear that table boys - I'm ready to go!!!!!!!!
Oh wait, gonna need a shot of that tequila first. Just because.
Posted by: Tammi at November 07, 2004 05:42 PM (UOdfZ)
89
Lee Ann: I don't care what the shot is - if it's on you than I'm sure I'll enjoy it. Should we make a little cup out of the Rheddi Whip and pour the shot into that? 'cause doing a shot *on* you is better than a shot on *you*!!!
Posted by: _Jon at November 07, 2004 05:53 PM (RZ4Hy)
90
"I LOVE THE SMELL OF SPENDING IN THE MORNING!"
"Hey Party cats... When the eBaY orders start coming in, please let me know. I am waiting for that Tarzan costume. Who needs a drink I am making sex on the beaches and orgasms by this video camera pointed at the bed. I am sure it is not working since the red light is on and it's connected to Harv's PC"
*Now where did my damn bow go*
Posted by: KEEME at November 07, 2004 05:59 PM (vDQAX)
91
oh hey I hope I'm not to late... *waving a jar of pickles and toting a cat travelcage*
Posted by: Bob at November 07, 2004 06:01 PM (sYFMQ)
92
Machelle I seem to have lost my bow... can you paint me up so I don't feel quite so "free"?
Posted by: KEEME at November 07, 2004 06:03 PM (vDQAX)
93
Pickles! I knew we were missing something. Hey, try to keep the whip creme off the big-screen, I can't see the football game!
Posted by: Ogre at November 07, 2004 06:29 PM (1maCi)
94
*parks near helicopter and sees lawn stewn with pallettes, empty boxes, plastic wrapping, lots and lots of beer bottles and empty cans of whipped cream. Peeks through living room window, gasps and brings hand to mouth to cover her shout of "OMG".
*Whispering to herself* "I have never seen..." looks closer and sees blog brother _Jon liking a family member in a very provacative way ... Michele faints dead away!
Posted by: michele at November 07, 2004 07:29 PM (ht2RK)
95
Cool!
Another hot woman passed out and unaware of what happens while she is away.... :evil grin:
How has the body paints?!?!
Posted by: _Jon at November 07, 2004 07:52 PM (RZ4Hy)
96
I am back to check on you cretins...
You are so busted when Herbie gets back home.
Those party pics were quite scary. Glad I missed that one. Passing out is not good. Not good indeed.
Nighty night you crazy kids.
Posted by: Joshua at November 07, 2004 11:24 PM (IvQZU)
97
*waking up from much needed sleep*
Holy Crap did I miss alot.
We better get some No-doz so that doesn't happen again.
Oh and tell those Firemen to bring their hoses,
I this place could sure use a squirting down
Posted by: Machelle at November 08, 2004 07:24 AM (ZAyoW)
98
I'm glad I was covered in body paints when the pictures were taken -- it will be impossible to identify me for further prosecution.
What a mess. I'm glad I don't have to clean this place up.
Oh wait, it's just morning! The party can continue! Here's some no-doz, Machelle, wash it down with this bloody mary. Is that beer truck for us?
Posted by: Ogre at November 08, 2004 08:20 AM (/k+l4)
99
Well, I just checked on Jake and he's doing fine! The neighbors said they'd keep an eye on him and give him some breakfast. They looked at me slightly ascanced because of the saddle, but after the helicopter flew in, they weren't in the more for any questions.
*Hears truck horn* Hey guys, ebay truck just arrived! *starts laughing hysterically* OMG! Where did you guys find all of these pink lawn flamigo's and blow up sheep! The neighbors are truly going to wonder when Harv gets home to a lawn covered in unnatural farm life. But then again...this is Harv's house, I guess they're used to it now!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 08, 2004 08:31 AM (2P/wO)
100
**stumbing from closet holding whip**
Hey? WTF happened? One minute I was finishing my shot and climbing on (the swing that is) and the next thing I know I wake up in the closet with this WHIP in my hand?
OK! What'd I miss?
Who's running for breakfast? I need gatorade, chocolate milk, and coffee. In that order. Oh, and a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Please. With a beer chaser.
Where's that Reddi-Whip? Did we run out already???
Posted by: Tammi at November 08, 2004 10:27 AM (UOdfZ)
101
poop...doody...doody...poop
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 08, 2004 10:45 AM (Uq/6d)
102
*Checking the Ebay box labels*
Hey, this says that the inflatable sheep were ordered last Tuesday!
Posted by: GEBIV at November 08, 2004 11:13 AM (MDTPa)
103
You know really, Harvey has been kind enough to allow us into his home to watch his dog and we've created this mess. We should really clean-up and ...
OOOOH Firemen, with their shirts off!
*running gleefully toward them with body paints*
Posted by: Machelle at November 08, 2004 11:38 AM (ZAyoW)
104
*Running gleefully after Machelle toward the firemen*
It's shake n' bake and I helped!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 08, 2004 12:20 PM (2P/wO)
105
*backward glance while running after fireman Davy* Hey! Anyone know when Harvey is supposed to be home?! Just curious, cause we've got to bring Jake back home.
Poor boy, he doesn't need to chase these inflatable sheep!
*catches fireman Davy and liberally applies whipped cream* What was I saying?
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 08, 2004 12:22 PM (2P/wO)
106
"Oh Guys! Look what I found in one of the eBaY boxes... these are what I like to call
Christmas Presents "
Posted by: KEEME at November 08, 2004 01:36 PM (vDQAX)
107
Hmmm, I wonder if the firemen will use their hoses?
"Hey Mr Firemen, my what a big hose you have, care to show me how you turn that thing on?"
Posted by: Machelle at November 08, 2004 02:34 PM (ZAyoW)
108
*DING DONG*
I'll get the door. No need to stop what you're doing. *Steps around three women dragging a fireman down the hall*
Machelle! Cut that out! *Ducks firehat and boots thrown at head* Um... never mind.
*Opens door* Who is it?
EVIL GLENN!!!!!! With water baloons!?!?
But it's below freezing out...
THUNK
*Collapses in the foyer as a frozen waterballon bounces off skull*
Posted by: GEBIV at November 08, 2004 03:40 PM (dW0Nq)
109
Geeze, gone for the weekend and look at what I've missed so far. I brought the sit and spin. Just don't press the top button!
Posted by: vw bug at November 08, 2004 06:05 PM (hNZJd)
110
Oh, no! If he knocks us all unconsious well asphixiate when the dihydro-monooxide melts into liquid form!...
Some body pass me another brain grenade...
Posted by: tbflowers at November 08, 2004 06:12 PM (Yb5E/)
111
OH my! *looking at all the passed out people*
I'll just put this here...
*slides a big ass bottle of aspirin and a case of gatorade on the counter*
Where did all this fire equipment come from... OH!
*quietly slips out the front door past all the inflatable sheep, flamingos and bodies...*
Posted by: Boudicca at November 08, 2004 10:06 PM (XH1zZ)
112
Wait for me Bou... {slips} sorry GEBIV... where is that Sit & Spin... never mind... hmmm... {picks up flamingo}... Outta here!
Posted by: vw bug at November 09, 2004 05:49 AM (hNZJd)
113
Come BACK! You still have CLOTHES ON!!!
You can't LEAVE!!
(lightweights....)
Posted by: _Jon at November 09, 2004 07:38 AM (ewFgD)
114
Hey, what are
these guys doing in the bathroom? (Pauses as Machelle and Lee Ann run past). Never mind, I'm going outside to help set up the 1,275 plastic pink flamingo...targets.
Posted by: Ogre at November 09, 2004 09:19 AM (/k+l4)
115
Darn this non-html link liking post. Try http://images.dvdempire.com/res/movies/5/550697.jpg for the link from the above post.
Posted by: Ogre at November 09, 2004 09:21 AM (/k+l4)
116
*crawling out from under the bed wearing a scuba mask and a corset*
Is Harvey back yet? Did he bring breakfast? Do we have to help clean up?
*scraping sound as hand emerges from under the bed and drags LeeAnn back*
Ooops... sorry, duty calls....
Can someone shove some peanut butter and a cheerleader under here in about a half hour? Thanks.
Posted by: LeeAnn (the cheesey one) at November 09, 2004 09:37 AM (vqSdN)
117
*emerges from bedroom wearing firemen's hat*
Ok, which one of you firemen are next, that one *pointing at passed out fireman* isn't much use to me anymore.
Posted by: Machelle at November 09, 2004 09:47 AM (i5GjH)
118
Ogre dresses up Jake in a fireman's outfit and stands back....waaaaaay back...
Posted by: Ogre at November 09, 2004 09:52 AM (/k+l4)
119
poopity, poop, poop... doody!
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 09, 2004 10:25 AM (Uq/6d)
120
*Lee Ann stumbles out of bedroom, looks around at passed out fireman in Machelle's wake* What we have here is a failure to communicate! I thought Firemen had stamina! 24 hours and they wimp out...I'm so disillusioned.
*Looks around and spots redi-whip closet* Heeeeelllllllooooooo???? *knocking* Tammi! Come out of the closet! Oh wait, that didn't come out right. *opens door* TAMMI! What are you doing with that fireman! *tilts head quizzically* ...and how did you get the swing to fit in there?!
*golf applause*
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 09, 2004 01:16 PM (2P/wO)
121
GROAN
*Gets up holding head*
Oh, what a headache. If I never get another concussion, it'll be too...
*Slips on the Redy-Whip smeared all over the floor and smashes head into coffee table*
Posted by: GEBIV at November 09, 2004 03:37 PM (8iYm1)
122
[Keeme makes breakfast for all a regular smörgåsbord from toast to tamales]
"Come and get some... I mean.. it."
[Deciding he needs to feed his fetish as well. Keeme sets up a feed the chicas grap-e-s by hand while giving the most awesome (outlawed in 37 states and springer too) foot rubs]
"Next!"
Posted by: KEEME at November 09, 2004 04:02 PM (vDQAX)
123
First - Ogre, thank you for my new screen saver and for inviting these "gentlmen" to our little party! ;-)
Lee Ann, there has to be some advantage for age.
OK... hmmm, breakfast! Keeme! You rock, I'll take some of this freedom toast, some g*apes and you can start with the right foot. Oh, and ignore all the forthcoming moans if you want!
Whooooaaaaaaaaoooooo! That's nice..........
Posted by: Tammi at November 09, 2004 06:00 PM (UOdfZ)
124
Ok, now that everyone is up...well, except for those firemen over there... I'm going to explore Harv's basement. Anyone want to come with? No, I don't know why, and yes, I know I might not come back. So who's going with?
Posted by: Ogre at November 09, 2004 08:55 PM (1maCi)
125
I got your back Ogre. Lead the way.
Hey, look at the cool shadows this latern puts out....looks like a...OMG!!!!!!!!! That's disgusting (see I can make it dance)
Posted by: Tammi at November 09, 2004 09:06 PM (UOdfZ)
126
CRETINS!!!
ever last one of ya are cretins!!
lol
this is one crazy party...
How long before the neighbors call the HOA and have a meeting?
Herbie might be voted off the block after this.
Posted by: Joshua at November 09, 2004 11:32 PM (IvQZU)
127
{sneaking back in} {mumble} Got to find that Sit & Spin. Hmmm. Where's Tammi going?
{following Tammi}
Yo Tammi! Have you seen the Sit & Spin? EEeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww. What is that dancing in the shadows? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Never mind.
Posted by: vw bug at November 10, 2004 05:33 AM (zME4n)
128
Calls up from the basement, "I don't think we'll have to worry about him being kicked off the block -- with all these explosives down here, I don't think there will be much house left to kick off the block. Someone give me hand with these. Claymore mines? Wow. He knows someone."
Tammi, that shadow's not as big as...well, never mind.
(I wonder if we can make his comments explode -- and hey, where's Mr. Hankey. Did we scare him off, too?)
Posted by: Ogre at November 10, 2004 06:55 AM (/k+l4)
129
Mr. Hankey will be back. He's pretty regular!
**ha ha. Damn I crack myself up. OK...getting coffee now***
Posted by: Tammi at November 10, 2004 07:33 AM (UOdfZ)
130
*emerging from back room, looking around at chaos* Okay boys and girls, I've got news for all. I called the maid service and boys, we've got topless maids coming to clean the place up. Ladies, we've got topless butlers coming over to help soothe our aching muscles after all this partying. They will be providing massages by the jello pool! Something for everyone...whose your girl?!
Also, I told them under no circumstances could the flamingoes and blow up sheep be removed from the front yard. Although I'm concerned to have watched a couple of Harv's neighbors abscond with the sheep! A little too gleefully I might add!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 10, 2004 07:40 AM (2P/wO)
131
I think we can put some explosives from the basement in the sheep and have some *real* "blow up" sheep!
Posted by: _Jon at November 10, 2004 08:02 AM (ewFgD)
132
(Crawling out from underneath a passed out fireman)... Coffee! Stat! Oh, and somebody call the paramedics! (...hoping they have more stamina than the firemen...)
Posted by: Susie at November 10, 2004 11:19 AM (+5GK3)
133
Hidy Ho! poop... poop...
[Good One, Tammi!}
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 10, 2004 10:30 PM (Uq/6d)
134
{Stops} Oh GEBIV. {Drags GEBIV over to beanbag} {drops motrin bottle into lap}
Ahhh. The Sit & Spin! Gross, what is on this thing. {Gets bottle of whiskey and washes Sit & Spin}
_Jon, how about you see how high you can get the sheep to go up into the sky? I bet you can't get one to jump over Harvey's house!
Posted by: vw bug at November 11, 2004 05:10 AM (zME4n)
135
Excellent -- look, large diameter PVC pipe!
(Loading explosives)
* BOOM *
Look up there! Homemade fireworks! Oops. Guess I should have done this outside. Anyone think Harvey will notice the hole in the ceiling? I'm pretty sure he always wanted a skylight...
Posted by: Ogre at November 11, 2004 06:34 AM (/k+l4)
136
Coffee? Anyone? Coffee?? **slurp** Ahh Thanks. Much better now.
OK...it's a new day folks. What trouble, I mean fun, can we find today????
Hey, it's pretty cold outside. Anyone up to semi-clothed, iced slip-n-slide?
We could slide down and jump into the hot tub......any takers????
Posted by: Tammi at November 11, 2004 07:27 AM (UOdfZ)
137
I think we'd have to build a hot tub first...
Posted by: _Jon at November 11, 2004 07:33 AM (uHRYR)
138
Hey building a Hot Tub would require Construction Workers ... Woo Hoo, I bet they have more stamina then the Firemen!
Make sure we get Construction workers in shorts, boots and um no shirts!
Posted by: Machelle at November 11, 2004 07:47 AM (ZAyoW)
139
I've already called 'em in!
With Harvey's credit cards, I wasn't worried about prices, so the requirement was who had the hottest workers.
I took one for the team, and did the sampling.....yeah, we got a good crew comin' in. hee hee
They'll have it done by noon!
Meanwhile, let's dance.
Posted by: Tammi at November 11, 2004 08:27 AM (UOdfZ)
140
Mmmmmm, construction workers.
They don't call 'em "tool belts" for nothing, ya know.
Posted by: LeeAnn (the cheesey one) at November 11, 2004 11:36 AM (vqSdN)
141
*doing snoopy dance with Tammi*
We gots construction workers comin, we gots construction workers comin!
Posted by: Machelle at November 11, 2004 12:14 PM (ZAyoW)
142
Who's your Mama?!?!?!
Ohhh, here they are now. Come on in Boys. Let's get started....oh, a, building the hot tub that is.
Hey, Machelle, roll that keg of beer over here, these boys look thirsty.
**whispers to Machelle**
I call dibs!!
Posted by: Tammi at November 11, 2004 02:08 PM (UOdfZ)
143
*joining in snoopy dance with Machelle & Tammi* WHOA BLOG-MOMMA! Them is sum fine lewkin' construction type men! Check out the butt on that one! I bet I can bounce a quarter off of it! *Sexy Construction Man turns around*
I CAN! I CAN! It's my Darling Hubby in my Halloween Costume Fantasy! WOOHOO!!! See ya' girls...I got a man, whip cream, chocolate sauce, jello pool and a slip n'slide awaiting!
*Runs off with Darling Hubby dressed as a construction worker towards Tammi's whipped cream closet*
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 11, 2004 02:21 PM (2P/wO)
144
They brought a cement mixer with them -- but it's full of churning whipped cream!
Yes, here, back it up to this window -- I've cleared all the furniture out of this room.
Posted by: Ogre at November 11, 2004 02:37 PM (/k+l4)
145
Ogre, I swear man, YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!!
**lying in middle of room waiting for.....whipped cream.....what else???
Posted by: Tammi at November 11, 2004 03:07 PM (UOdfZ)
146
Ogre wait for me. The only thing I have exploded was toy soldiers with a pipe and some gun powder. Never been around M80s before. Exactly how do you do this?
Posted by: vw bug at November 11, 2004 05:55 PM (zME4n)
147
Just when I thought you Cretins couldn't get any more cretiny... lol
Crazy party...
It's the Energizer Party... it keeps going and going....
Only one more day.
Say, what time does Herbie get home?
Posted by: Joshua at November 11, 2004 07:20 PM (IvQZU)
148
*Emerges from whipped cream closet, looking VERY content!* Oh my! Thank you Darling, thank you very much!
Okay boys and girls, a small announcement to make. The topless maids and massaging butlers will be here at 10:30 a.m. to make their rounds. I told them to come prepared and they'll get Harv's place put back together again.
So they'll be bringing a couple of garbage skips to collect the cream, jello and chocolate sauce. I've told them the sheep belong to the owners, so they'll leave them be.
The construction workers have repaired the ceiling, nice one Ogre! And other minor repairs. I think once they leave, we can make a normal sized mess for Harv to return to and be content.
*starts laughing* Yeah right! I know this crowd...the maids & butlers are going to get caught up in the chaos! Oh well...Harv, the attempt was made! PARTY ON DUDES!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 11, 2004 09:49 PM (HbblC)
149
Hey! I just remembered. Harvey is a vetran too! Should we do something patriotic for him while he's gone?
Like maybe spray-painting the entire outside of his house red white and blue?
Of course, we've already got white redi-whip... now all we need is someone to go get some cherry jello mix and a couple of bushels of blueberries... and an industrial paint sprayer... and a giant blender...
Anybody got blueberries in season where they live?
Posted by: GEBIV at November 11, 2004 10:12 PM (usxTf)
150
They make strawberry Redi Whip now!
Posted by: Machelle at November 12, 2004 05:59 AM (ZAyoW)
151
*Tammi sitting up from under a pile of whipped cream**
Strawberry Reddi Whip?!?!? Hey, I've got an idea.....I'll get on line and order to restock his "whip" supply that seems to have disappeared. We'll get some chocolate and strawberrty too.....maybe that'll make up for the green (from jello) carpet and the fact that he now has 3 hot tubs and a new sky light in the roof.
BTW - when is he due home???
Posted by: Tammi at November 12, 2004 08:42 AM (UOdfZ)
152
* BEEP BEEP BEEP *
Here's the next cement mixed -- strawberry Redi Whip! We'll put this one in the other front room -- now his doorway will be flanked by windows looking into rooms filled with white and red whipped cream. Somebody just needs to paint his door blue...with something...
Posted by: Ogre at November 12, 2004 08:43 AM (/k+l4)
153
Herbie still isn't home yet?
I better check back later. I really want to see his first post home.
Posted by: Joshua at November 12, 2004 09:30 AM (IvQZU)
154
Crap! Just my luck to arrive with one day to go...
Well, at least I brought the flamethrower, two hundred gallons of jello. I also kidnapped the Chicago Blue Man Group and brought them up here. Should we hang them upside down from the rafters (Blue Man pinatas?) or should we
REALLY humiliate them first?
Where's the scotch? I've got to catch up with the rest of you...
Posted by: Blackfive at November 12, 2004 10:49 AM (ynjpR)
155
I have some blue food dye... how about we just dye some of that white reddi-whip blue?
Posted by: vw bug at November 12, 2004 11:34 AM (V0x7l)
156
There you are B5! Wondered when you'd make it.
Here, I saved that extra special scotch for you. Don't need a glass? 'Mkay!
Ohhhh the Blue Man Group!! I like the pinata idea.
OK, that takes care of decorating. I say we put Graumagus in charge of pick-up. Sound's like he's got the
most experience.
Posted by: Tammi at November 12, 2004 11:44 AM (UOdfZ)
157
I think were past the clean-up able stage.
I say we have a bon-fire tonight, roast some marshmellows and make smores!
Of course with how much alcohol is permeating from the house we best stand back before the match is struck.
Posted by: Machelle at November 12, 2004 11:56 AM (ZAyoW)
158
"No worries on the cleanup... I hired a house moving company (on Harvey's dime of coarse"
"Now I can enjoy my breakfa... HEY! Who ate my erotic style pancakes with strawberry redi whip?"
[TRUCK TAKES WRONG HOUSE]
"Ooops I guess I should have told the guy to look for the house with all the sheep... I hope he hurries back"
Posted by: KEEME at November 12, 2004 12:48 PM (vDQAX)
159
Let's just glue the Blue Man Group to the front door.... That will give us the Red, White, and Blue motiff we want.
Posted by: _Jon at November 12, 2004 01:08 PM (grH7t)
Posted by: Sally at November 12, 2004 01:58 PM (a1D32)
161
Sally! I've got to tell you girl, you are quickly becoming a favorite! Love it, absolutely Love it.
*Lee Ann sits down to Harv's computer and begins typing*
Dear Santa,
Define Good. I mean, I'm VERY GOOD. I do VERY GOOD things. And I have the potential to be EVEN BETTER. See Sally's comment for the beginning of my Christmas list. I'll even take a couple to share with blog-family...don't want to be greedy!
Posted by: Lee Ann at November 12, 2004 03:11 PM (2P/wO)
162
Sally, you'll still shopping in the lil Miss department of the store? Surely you frequent the Ladies' department.
Posted by: tbflowers at November 12, 2004 03:51 PM (ZAuzL)
163
Sally! OMFG!
The only person I know who likes that characture is my 12-yo niece! Her room is *covered* in HK stuff. I'm gonna have a tough time (heh - I almost wrote 'hard') visiting without laughing out loud.
Sick!
Funny as hell, but sick!
(Just purrfect for this family.)
Hey, I see the firemen are waking up....
Posted by: _Jon at November 12, 2004 04:25 PM (RZ4Hy)
164
Hey it's the 12th. Where's Herbie?
Posted by: Joshua at November 12, 2004 06:15 PM (IvQZU)
165
Hey, I saw a taxi drive up a little while ago -- maybe that was him. Someone needs to go into the red whipped cream room and see if he fell in. Sally?
Posted by: Ogre at November 12, 2004 08:09 PM (1maCi)
166
Before you glue them to the front door, can I check and see if EVERYTHING is blue? All in the name of scientific research, really it is.
But put me down for one of the HK "toys".
I've been good.
Sorta.
In a whipped cream kind of way.
Posted by: LeeAnn (the cheesey one) at November 12, 2004 08:59 PM (vqSdN)
167
*running in panic stricken*
Ah, crap! Harvey's coming home today! Gotta grab this beer before it goes to waste on the vacationer.
*grabs a blanket off of GEBIV and starts to load it with beer .... then runs out the door with his haul*
*runs back with with a piece of PVC pipe and starts beating the everloving piss out of the Blue Man Group*
How do
YOU bastards like it?!
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 13, 2004 01:54 AM (UfRvp)
168
"Hey! That is not the Blue Man Group!!! I think it is just a bunch of out of breath firemen. Damn"
Posted by: KEEME at November 13, 2004 02:57 AM (vDQAX)
169
T1G, here, let me help you with that beer. You beat those fireman, I'll drink the beer. Yes, dammit, I'll drink it quickly. If I get drunk enough, Harv won't recognize me when he gets home, right?
* GLUG GLUG *
Posted by: Ogre at November 13, 2004 07:50 AM (1maCi)
170
*shrugging*
Firemen, Blue Man Group .... whoever they are, they're glued to the door! And they make some funny sounds!
Ogre, enjoy the beer, but just leave me 1 or 12 will ya? Thanks!
Posted by: That 1 Guy at November 13, 2004 11:22 AM (GD3o/)
Posted by: Mr Hankey at November 13, 2004 12:16 PM (Uq/6d)
172
**Tammi slowly standing up in the middle of the strawberry whipped cream pile, Wipes off face and slings back hair. With self satisfying smirk says:*
That was very nice. Oh Shit......we gotta get out of here. Harvey'll be home any minute!!
*runs out the door*
*runs back in the door, grabs clothing and runs back out*
Posted by: Tammi at November 13, 2004 01:09 PM (UOdfZ)
173
Holy Crap! I was having so much fun I forgot he was back soon. We need Grau to supervise the evidence-hiding.
Jake...Jakey-Boy...? C'mon now, wake up! Good dog. I'm sorry I put eyeliner on you...
GAH!
*runs*
Great party, people!
Posted by: Sally at November 13, 2004 03:51 PM (a1D32)
174
Heh. Last to leave the party again, I see.
Posted by: Sally at November 14, 2004 04:37 AM (a1D32)
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