(cross-posted from IMAO)

Senator John McCain recently criticized Donald Rumsfeld's handling of the Iraq War, saying "I think that Donald Rumsfeld will go down in history as one of the worst secretaries of defense in history."

Jimmy Carter's SECDEF Harold Brown was reportedly thrilled at the prospect of having his picture moved up a notch on the Wall of Shame.

So why exactly IS Captain Combover so pissed at Rummy?

I have several theories...:

* Unlike McCain, Rumsfeld favors abortions - as late as the 300th trimester for terrorists.

* Amongst his other blunders in Iraq, Rumsfeld gave Iraqis MORE freedom of speech during the 60 days preceeding an election.

* Jealous of Rumsfeld's ability to remove a human spine with one lightning-fast, yet seemingly casual, hand gesture.

* While McCain was filibustering in the Senate, Rumsfeld was filibustering Mrs. McCain.

* Next to Rumsfeld's pile of strangled terrorists, reporters, and Democrats, McCain's pile of strangled Tickle-Me-Elmos just looks kinda sad.

* Thanks to Rumsfeld, McCain's "Gang of 14" has become known as the "Gang of beaten-up lunch-money hander-overers"

* Although "Gang of the wedgied" is becoming the increasingly common term.

* Rumsfeld kept popping out of random closets and yelling "Torture!", just to watch McCain flinch.

* A little miffed about Rumsfeld's plan to invade Arizona and steal its illegal immigrants.

* Two words: Hairline Envy

Posted by: Harvey at 02:50 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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