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January 21, 2007

California Legislature Spanking Ban

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Democratic California Assemblywoman Sally Lieber has vowed to introduce legislation this week banning the spanking of elected officials.

"Currently we face the ridiculous situation of having our law condone justifiable beating of legislators," said Lieber. "Sure, I love a good spanking as much as the next consenting adult, but only if it involves a leather paddle and a safety word. But using phyical violence to punish legislators for passing stupid laws? That's just WRONG!".

Governor Schwarzenegger seemed to agree, citing the corrective effects of both scheduled and recall elections. "We can discipline our legislators without hitting," he said.

Under current law, any legislator that proposes, votes for, or passes any legislation in violation of either the Constitution or common sense can have "the stupid beat out of his ass" with an 18 by 6 inch wooden paddle.

Lieber disagrees with the policy.

"Most people know you should not hit legislators, and legislators do not know right from wrong," she said. "Legislators you have to distract, remove, supervise, protect... preferrably with a shiny stack of unmarked bills."

Others, however, think Lieber is full of crap.

"The day that the [government] votes in its own legislators, then they have a right to raise them," wrote one constituent named Esther. "Till then, they are mine to do with as I please. I will raise them the way I see fit. If I think that those little butts need a swat... I will be the one to give it to them."

Meanwhile, Republican Assemblywoman Audra Strickland has promised to counter Lieber's bill with one of her own, which calls for a larger variety of corrective measures for wayward legislators. New options would include attending "wise-up classes" at either the Lyndie England Smoke & Point Discipline Academy or the President Clinton Internship Program, depending on gender and sexual preference.