June 24, 2007
As the ocean kisses the beach, the waves of my love will wash gently and unceasingly against the shores of your heart.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
11:51 AM
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Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.
[new bill - not previously posted]
(click to enlarge)
[(Rubber stamp: www.WHERESGEORGE.com BILL TRACKING PROJECT)]
Actually, that's Hillary's way of keeping track of her husband.
"George" is her code word for that... uh... "troublesome part" of his.
Posted by: Harvey at
11:50 AM
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Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) The first time you try to use me, it keeps falling out
(see extended entry for more clues)
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
11:40 AM
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Post contains 101 words, total size 1 kb.
June 23, 2007
Michael Moore's new documentary, Sicko, is a brilliantly executed film work that approaches a difficult subject with an open mind, and delivers its facts with a surprising evenhandedness and absence of bias.
Fine. I lied. If he can do it, so can I.
Still, I have to admit that watching Sicko was an eye-opening experience. Here's just a few of the amazing things I learned:
* British hospitals not only offer free medical treatment, but also free argument clinics and free being-hit-on-the-head lessons.
* There is an acute shortage of human blood in US hospitals, because federal regulations require hospital administrators to drink it in celebration after every denial of treatment to the uninsured.
* Cuba has the best health care system in the world, since it provides a skilled physician from Spain to examine every Cuban President in the country.
* Unlike in America, you'll never see a long line of desperately ill people waiting at a health clinic, since in Britain it's called a "queue".
* Most pharmaceutical companies recycle by making their drugs out of people who died because they couldn't afford to buy the drugs.
* 50 million Americans are uninsured and are at severe risk of paying money in exchange for products and services.
* American health insurance premiums are determined by using a complex array of morbidity & mortality charts, combined with 20-sided dice-throws from a basement full of D&D nerds.
* Britain's health care system is modelled on Canada's. Their dental care system - Alabama's.
* The French not only provide free health care, they also provide free nannies for recovering patients with children. Still working on air conditioners for the elderly though.
* The ultimate proof of the superiority of Canada's health care system? Hospital gowns that completely cover your ass.
* The health care system in place at the Guantanamo detention facility is closer to France's system than America's, since it's full of angry, unassimilated Muslims.
* In order to get decent health care in the US, you first must get abused by a cynical, unshaven doctor with a limp and a Vicodin addiction.
* Unlike in America, a French hospital does not have to charge fifty dollars for a couple of lousy Tylenol, since their currency is the Euro.
The other thing I learned is that listening to Michael Moore discuss the importance of good health care is like listening to Ted Kennedy discuss the importance of sobriety.
Posted by: Harvey at
07:12 AM
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I find it peculiar to hear other people claiming to be in love. When I think about the indescribable delight that you and I share, it's just so hard to imagine even the faintest duplication of it existing anywhere else.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
07:08 AM
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Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.
[new bill - not previously posted]
(click to enlarge)
[(I Love you ADAM!)]
Graffiti of Eden
Posted by: Harvey at
07:07 AM
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Post contains 13 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) I always come after "U"
(see extended entry for more clues)
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
07:00 AM
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Post contains 88 words, total size 1 kb.
June 22, 2007
[2 minute pause]
1) Do/Don't proofread meticulously - if you're a strictly "for fun" blogger, just run it through a spell-checker once & toss it up there. Your family & friends won't care, and they probably won't even notice as long as the first and last letters are right. If you need a spell-checker, here's a nice little standalone program (very short download - 555k).
If you're a "practicing writer blogger" or just obsessive-compulsive, then go through your posts with a fine tooth comb. Personally, I find it helpful to read through them in a couple of different fonts. Another trick is to read it backwords - that way you're looking at the words instead of reading phrases. More proofreading tricks here.
2) Do/Don't have open comments - I vote open, of course. You can't feel the love without comments. The only good reason to not have comments is if you're getting hundreds of them on every post, and a good chunk of them are abusive. So basically everyone except Michelle Malkin should have comments enabled. And even Michelle is bringing them back, so what does THAT tell you?
3) Do/Don't respond to comments - In a perfect world, everyone would be like Ogre of Ogre's Politics & Views. He consistently responds to every comment he gets, and does so in the comments section of his posts. Very encouraging to his readers.
Other bloggers (like SarahK of Mountaineer Musings) regularly respond to comments via e-mail. Some people do varying degrees of either or both. Personally, I believe that acknowledging your commenters is a GOOD thing, and you should do it whenever possible, time permitting.
4) Do/Don't have a life - Do. Unless you have a contractual obligation to provide a certain number of posts by a particular deadline, and failure to do so will cost you money, don't hesitate to turn off the computer and even completely forego posting for days on end. Your readers will survive, and the people who actually LIVE with you will appreciate the attention. Besides, if you have open comments, your readers may even keep your blog entertaining for you.
NOTE: The fact that I personally haven't had a postless day in months does NOT invalidate the preceding advice. It just means I'm an addict who is currently dodging his 12-step meetings.
5) Do/Don't talk about yourself - Who cares? Just POST, dammit!
Truth is, it doesn't matter WHAT you write about. The people who enjoy reading THAT topic, in YOUR style WILL find you. The rest... don't really matter.
Small caveat - if you're a "topical" rather than a "personal" blogger, it's still a good idea to have an "about me" category to store posts of a personal nature so that newcomers can get a feel for your experiences & motivations. Having some background on a writer adds depth and richness to your readers' experience of your topical posts. If nothing else, at least have one post of basic biographical information that's linked in your sidebar.
6) Do/Don't use profanity - As a general rule, I say no. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my 4-letter Anglo-Saxonisms as much as the next former Sailor, and I have great admiration for those who raise swearing to an art form. However, I find that avoiding curse words has two advantages:
First, it forces you to come up with clever metaphors to replace the obscenities, which makes you a better writer.
Second, you get more site traffic, because more people feel comfortable surfing to your site while they're at work.
Still, there are situations that DO call for judicious f-bombing, and I make no apologies for that, since I know my readers are adult enough to deal with it, and they understand.
Besides, it's not the swearing that keeps decent people away from my site, it's the smutty innuendo & dirty pictures.
No, wait... that's what keeps them coming back.
Nevermind.
Anyway, the important thing is consistency. If you're gonna swear, then swear. If you're not, then don't. But don't suddenly start posting Eddie Murphy routines on your Christian Mommy blog. It's a gross discourtesy to those readers you've lulled into believing that they can safely surf your site with their pre-teen kids watching over their shoulders.
In conclusion, I want to leave you with this:
It's your blog, so it's your rules. Do what you want, when you want, and have as much fun as possible while you do it. Don't let anyone tell you how you "should" blog.
Except me ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at
08:14 AM
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Post contains 831 words, total size 6 kb.
1 BAD 4X4
Couldn't help thinking that it probably means:
1 TNY PNS
Posted by: Harvey at
06:45 AM
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Post contains 34 words, total size 1 kb.
VIENNA (AP) — The head of the International Atomic Energy Agency cautioned on Thursday that shooting his rabid pet dog, Mahmoud, over his refusal to stop biting his leg would be "an act of madness," in indirect warnings to animal control agents.
IAEA chief Mohamed ElBaradei also said Mahmoud would likely soon begin chewing close to his femoral artery - the puncturing of which medical experts described as the point of no return in the start of ElBaradei's bleeding to death.
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However, the head of the IAEA was reluctant to dismiss hopes of a diplomatic solution.
ElBaradei spoke during an emergency meeting of concerned paramedics and local animal shelter workers a gathering that focused on Mahmoud's refusal to heed ElBaradei's demands that Mahmoud should freeze activities that could serve to transmit the rabies virus or possibly cause the IAEA chief to exsanguinate.
Earlier, Mahmoud's savage snarls asserted that he would never suspend the enthusiastic gnawing of El Baradei's extremities — the key issue of paramedic concern, while animal control insisted Mahmoud had no choice but to do so, in comments reflecting the increasingly tense stalemate over the issue.
Even while calling for a negotiated solution, animal control workers — which Mahmoud had snapped at several times between bites of his ElBaradei's calf — have refused to dismiss outright the possibility that they might "just shoot the damn dog" if he refused to back down on limb-shredding and other areas of concern.
But ElBaradei described any use of force as "an act of madness ... (that) would not resolve the issue."
"The next few minutes will be crucial to these negotiations," he said, adding: "although Mahmoud appears to be insane and quite eager to take my life, I believe that we should also consider the possibility that this is merely a peaceful display of affection."
ElBaradei then passed out in a pool of his own blood, while Mahmoud lunged for his jugular. Digusted animal control workers quickly blew Mahmoud's head off, putting an end to the crisis.
Animal rights organizations were quick to condemn the action, suggesting that a UN resolution declaring Mahmoud a "bad dog" would have been just as effective.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:42 AM
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Post contains 390 words, total size 3 kb.
I promise to love you forever, but I hope that you will forgive me if I break that promise by loving you a little longer.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
06:38 AM
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Post contains 44 words, total size 1 kb.
(click to enlarge)
[(unmarked 100 Franc bill with image of topless woman)]
French Historical Fun Fact: In 1789, France invented the wardrobe malfuntion.
[Hat tip to Snopes and blogdaughter Michele of Letters From New York City]
Posted by: Harvey at
06:37 AM
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Post contains 21 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) Putting your hand inside of makes me move
(see extended entry for more clues)
2) When you use me, you're faking it
3) I usually sit on your lap to do the act
Answer in the comments tomorrow.
Posted by: Harvey at
06:34 AM
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Post contains 95 words, total size 1 kb.
June 21, 2007
This is message not spam. You email has been taken from open sources.
Opening line from a recent spam unsolicited commercial e-mail.
Posted by: Harvey at
10:04 AM
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Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.
Huh... I guess it has.
Posted by: Harvey at
05:57 AM
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Post contains 14 words, total size 1 kb.
An Editorial By Harvey (cross-posted from IMAO)
Recently, the Humane Society of the United States protested the 21st Annual Star Island Yacht Club Shark Tournament. The HSUS - a fanatical animal rights organization - was incensed that sharks - which have declined in population by over 80% in the last 50 years - were being festively slaughtered for sport.
Their point being, I suppose, that it's unconscionable to kill vicious, flesh-eating predators if you have fun while doing it.
I have a hard time disagreeing. I mean, why would you NOT want more bloodthirsty, savage, aquatic killing-machines patrolling our coastal waters? Would YOU want to live in a world where it's perfectly safe to swim, surf, and scuba dive near the shorelines of a heavily populated area? I know *I* wouldn't! If nothing else, it helps keep the riff-raff & trailer trash off the beaches. I get enough of those visual atrocities at Wal-Mart, thank you very much!
Yet it seems to me that the HSUS is being elitist, if not downright speciesist, when it comes to choosing which spillers of innocent blood they fight to protect. It's common knowledge that the most dangerous predator on Earth is MAN. Specifically Chuck Norris and Fred Thompson, but other humans have been known to pose a threat on occasion, too.
Lately, the biggest non-Chuck-non-Fred threat to human life has been Islamic terrorists. Why isn't the HSUS doing something to protect them? Not a day goes by that the headlines don't splash the horrific death toll of our precious dwindling terrorist resources. Granted, five or ten splattered Hadjis may not sound like a big loss, but that constant trickle of corpses adds up. Coddling Allah's Islamic Radicals (CAIR) estimates that over 100,000 terrorists have been lost since 9/11, and their remaining numbers keep spiraling downward.
I find this repugnant.
A species is a species and endangered is endangered. Sure, terrorists lack the grandeur of the elephant or the cuddly, photogenic appeal of a Panda bear. And yes, they smell bad, oppress women, and plot the global genocide of all non-Muslims. Hey, they can't ALL be baby Harp Seals! But if HSUS can fight for the rights of an animal that smells like a Red Lobster dumpster in August, why can't it fight for an animal that likes to blow up women and children? At least it's a MAMMAL for cryin' out loud!
The fact is, if we don't stop the insane slaughter of our dangerously fanatical - yet charmingly quirky - Muslim brethren, soon there won't be a single terrorist left alive on earth! I can't imagine the shame of trying to explain to my grandchildren that - because I did nothing - he can only see filthy, butchering Jihadists in picture books or Guantanamo.
Well, if HSUS is going to drop the ball on this one, *I* certainly won't! It's time to get organized! Call your congressman! Call the President! Speak out in whatever forum is available to you! Worst case, start one of web-blob thingies! If you're a hot chick, post naked pictures of yourself on your MySpace page in protest. Or just send them directly to me. Whichever. It doesn't matter, as long as you make your voice heard!
If we don't do something now, there will soon come a day when crazed Islamofascists are just a faded memory, never again to grace our planet with their murderous majesty.
And I can't think of anything more tragic.
Can you?
Harvey is a non-disabled Navy veteran accidentally hired to fill an affirmative action quota at IMAO.us. He is also the author of such books as "Red Lobster: Genocidal Hate Criminals" and "Nude Photography for Righteously Indignant Hot Chicks".
Posted by: Harvey at
05:39 AM
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Post contains 663 words, total size 4 kb.
I will whisper you words of love, I will shout love with my actions, and through it all, I will kiss you, kiss you, kiss you.
(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)
Posted by: Harvey at
05:37 AM
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Post contains 45 words, total size 1 kb.
(click to enlarge)
[(rubber stamp: Mockingbird Hill 'The Alternative' HWY 115 & 60)]
Just down the road from the old Munster place.
Posted by: Harvey at
05:36 AM
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Post contains 19 words, total size 1 kb.
Here's how it goes.
The answer is a (more or less) completely innocent word.
The hints, however, are designed to make you think of something... not so innocent.
I'll put the first hint in the main post, and the other two in the extended entry.
Good luck.
1) You try to take the rubber
(see extended entry for more clues)
more...
Posted by: Harvey at
05:33 AM
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Post contains 92 words, total size 1 kb.
June 20, 2007
In the episode "Catspaw", there's a black cat.
In the episode "Assignment: Earth", there's also a black cat.
Is it the same cat?
Posted by: Harvey at
07:15 AM
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Post contains 48 words, total size 1 kb.
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