(Cross-posted from IMAO)

Although Michelle Malkin (whose right to be both a woman and a minority I fully support) has done an excellent job covering the UC Santa Cruz protests against on-campus Army recruiters, she missed the story on the sidelines.

Concerned that soldiers in Iraq might not be getting sufficient "female companionship" from the local burkha-babes, a number of young, enthusiastic, and horizontally-accessible co-eds were on hand to recruit new members for the Army's "Comfort Brigade".

[click to enlarge any picture]

Senior Luv U. Longtime promotes the ambitious goal of the Comfort Brigade, and shows her determination that no soldier should have to go without.

"A lot of organizations exist that will forward care packages to soldiers in need", said Senior Amanda Huginkiss, "but we know darn well that those brave men on the front lines have other, more urgent needs as well, and we won't get off our backs until those needs are met."

Who needs body armor when the Comfort Brigade will gladly take your bullet?

Although many apply, not all are chosen. Only the most nubile and flexible of the volunteers will pass the rigorous screenings.

Junior Ivana B. Laid passes her "perkiness check" with flying colors.

The recruitment drive provoked its own protests, though. Mostly ugly guys with hygiene issues who realized with dawning horror what the loss of the campus's loosest women would mean to them.

"Hey!" shouted this unidentified smelly loser, "they're stealing our sluts!"

Idiots like this were largely ignored, however, as most people preferred to ogle the Comfort Brigade Veteran's Parade.

Comfort Brigade Veterans stand proudly behind their service record.

Best of all, the Comfort Brigade's activities completely erased the efforts of the UCSC radical anti-war nuts by actually causing an increase in on-campus recruiting.

Campus security holds back the throng of eager new Army volunteers, and one confused lesbian who thought she was in line at the Tofu Hut.

But with all the hype and breathless promises flying around during the Comfort Brigade's recruitment drive, the discerning reader will still pause to ask the most important question of all: Can the Comfort Brigade really bring all the spine-tingling satisfaction that our soldiers so desperately need?

Well...

Just ask #1535.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:21 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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