(Introduction)

I love the sun for days, the moon for nights, and you forever.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:17 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

Contrary to popular belief, Bill Clinton was NOT America's first redneck President.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 22 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) When the Simpsons go camping, where does Maggie spend her first night?

3) In "Moaning Lisa", what is the name of the toothpaste Lisa brushes with?

4) Why didn't Bleeding Gums Murphy ever go to a dentist?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:15 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 67 words, total size 1 kb.

The IMAO Podcast is still on hiatus, but I have an irresistable urge to finish up the rest of the states in the Fun Facts About The 50 States series, so I'm going to forge ahead - hopefully on a weekly schedule.

Should the podcast return, this is the list from which I'll pick & choose my favorite items to record.

This week, we'll be picking Canadian coins out of our pocket change and tossing them into fountains to make 89% of our wishes come true as we visit North Dakota. So let's get started...

North Dakota became the 39th state on November 2, 1889. It was originally settled by Canadians searching for somewhere to live that wasn't cold and boring. The expedition was, of course, a miserable failure.

Westhope, North Dakota, is the state's busiest point of entry into Canada. Over 72,000 people per year cross the border there - mostly Hollywood types making good on their promises to leave the country after Bush was elected.

Dakota Gasification Co. of Beulah, North Dakota is the nation's only producer of "synthetic natural gas" - an oxymoron of a degree second only to "peaceful Muslim".

Writing Rock State Historical Site near Grenora, North Dakota, features two granite boulders with carvings of the mythological Thunderbird. Which is either an example of early Indian religion or a declaration of their love for cheap, fortified wine.

North Dakota got its name from the Sioux Indian word "Da-ko-ta", meaning "pasty white guys"

The town of Rugby, North Dakota, is the geographical center of the North American continent, which - for those of you with public school educations - is the one that's right above that ice-cream-cone-shaped continent.

In 1987, North Dakota passed a law making English the state's official language, as a direct snub to those who only speak Canadian.

"Whut's dat aboot, eh?" - I mean, who can understand THAT goofy monkey-jabber?

In 1989, North Dakota attempted to drop the word "North" from the state's name, seeking to become known simply as "Dakota". The bill was defeated after their neighbor to the south threatened to change its name to "Smart Dakota".

Max Taubert of Casselton, North Dakota built a 50-foot-tall pyramid out of empty oil cans. Experts are still debating whether Taubert was an artistic genius or just a lazy slob who couldn't remember that trash day was Tuesday.

Devil's Lake - the largest natural body of water in North Dakota - got it's name from a mistranslation of the Sioux Indian word "Miniwaukan", which actually means "Satan's Urinal".

The Dakota Dinosaur Museum in Dickinson, North Dakota, contains dozens of complete dinosaur skeltons and celebrates the North Dakota state recreational pastime of watching things slowly turn to stone.

Harvey, North Dakota... no relation

The largest state-owned sheep research center in the US is located in Hettinger, North Dakota, and specializes in trying to discover what it is about sheep that makes ordinary men suddenly unable to quit each other.

The original grave of Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull can be found in Fort Yates, North Dakota. His last words before being killed in 1890 were "Me think-um white man not have guts to pull trigger".

Jamestown, North Dakota is home to the world's largest buffalo statue. It's 26 feet tall, weighs 60 tons and features a small plaque at its base that says "Yes, we KNOW it's actually a 'bison'. We don't care. Shut up."

North Dakota grows more sunflowers than any other state, which is why they were going to name their NFL expansion team the "Sunflowers". It's also why the last NFL expansion franchise was granted to Houston, instead.

The historic Opera House in Ellendale, North Dakota was shut down after 90 years of successful operation in 1999 when it made the regrettable decision to put on performances of the controversial musical, "The Pedophiles of Penzance".

A "flickertail" is a small ground squirrel native to North Dakota which gets its name from its characteristic manner of flicking its tail just before entering its burrow. Sorta like the way a Democrat flinches upon hearing good news out of Iraq.

North Dakota's biggest tourist attraction is the annual Killdeer Mountain Roundup Rodeo, which is the one time of year when residents can chase, tackle, and tie up animals for pleasure without running afoul of the state's beastiality laws.

Before becoming President, Teddy Roosevelt came to the Dakota territory in 1883 to hunt bison. He left in 1898 to fight in the Spanish-American War because he thought it would be more fun to hunt Spaniards.

Known as "The Small, Friendly German Town on the Dakota Prairie", New Leipzig, North Dakota, hosts an annual Oktoberfest celebration during which it invades and conquers the neighboring city of New Paris.

Every year, New Rockford, North Dakota hosts the Central North Dakota Steam Threshers Reunion, which features a variety of antique farm machinery, some of which is so old that it's actually been used to harvest non-government subsidized crops.

Fort Berthold Community College near New Town, North Dakota, was the first tribally chartered college in North Dakota and offers courses in casino operations and victim-card playing.

Rutland, North Dakota created the World's Largest Hamburger. Over nine thousand people came to sample the nearly two-ton burger, and all of them went home hungry, since Michael Moore was first in line.

Turtle Lake, North Dakota hosts the annual United States Turtle Racing Championship. The losers of the race compete again later in the day during the United States Turtle Soup Cook-off.

Bismark, North Dakota features a statue of Lewis & Clark's Indian guide Sacagewea. She's depicted gazing westward toward the country she helped open, while the baby strapped to her back is shown giving the finger eastward to the country that forced his mom to live on a reservation.

The Lewis & Clark expedition encountered hungry grizzly bears in North Dakota, which is also where they lost their first Indian guide, Snackagewea.

North Dakota's highest point, White Butte, features numerous small piles of rocks. Known as shepherder's monuments, they were piled there by sheepherders as a way to pass the time. Sorta like a primitive version of Microsoft Solitaire.

The International Peace Garden straddles the international boundary between North Dakota and the Canadian province of Manitoba. Like the peace movement itself, it's filled entirely with pansies.

The Fort Union Trading Post in North Dakota was the principal fur-trading site in the region from 1829 to 1867. It was one of the few places in the country where no one would raise an eyebrow upon hearing the phrase "I'm going into town to see if I can trade my beaver for a bottle of whiskey".

---

That wraps up the North Dakota edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be shopping for discount Drew Carey glasses as we visit Ohio.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go head into town to see what I can get for this bottle of whiskey.

Posted by: Harvey at 12:43 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 1225 words, total size 7 kb.

(Introduction)

When we get close, I want you to know that I get all weak and want to hold you forever.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 12:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 35 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Rose]

This is NOT an acceptable substitute for actual flowers on your wife's birthday.
This is NOT an acceptable substitute for actual flowers on your wife's birthday.
This is NOT an acceptable substitute for actual flowers on your wife's birthday.
This is NOT an acceptable substitute for actual flowers on your wife's birthday.
This is NOT an acceptable substitute for actual flowers on your wife's birthday.
... only 995 more & I can sleep in the bed again...
This is NOT an acceptable substitute for actual flowers on your wife's birthday...

Posted by: Harvey at 12:03 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 100 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Trust me... you got away easy with only a thousand.

Posted by: laurie at September 24, 2006 08:19 PM (c0Zuo)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

(Introduction)
Today's Simpsons Trivia
(Introduction)

2) What does Ned Flanders sell over the internet?

3) Who said, "Homer is a brutally honest man, completely tactless and insensitive"?

4) What job did the Crazy Old Man have when he was young?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 63 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

"If ever there was a man who felt he had found the secret to perfecting his life it is I... I have found it in you. You have unfolded like a beautiful butterfly, becoming more than I ever imagined... you are forever adding balance to my life and clearing my vision."

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 06:52 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Anyone who recieve this bill will be Blessed with lots of money if they write this on 10 other bills.]

Al Franken's final, desperate attempt to raise the money to keep Air America out of bankruptcy.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:49 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) Why did Homer once pawn the family TV set?

3) In one of his nightmares Bart dies, and Nelson does what to him at the funeral?

4) In "There's No Disgrace Like Home", Homer learns that the answers to his life's problems are found where?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 77 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected - in so far as it could be a matter of conscious awareness; it took entire possession of him, and he understood, with joyous amazement, that this was for life.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 05:05 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(red, sparkly, heart-shaped sticker)]

Presidential Fun Fact: In 1789, George Washington invented the world's first horrifyingly tacky leisure suit.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 25 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) What does Martin Prince always have in his breast pocket?

3) What college does Lisa fear she may end up at?

4) According to Bart, how is Homer like Thomas Edison?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 04:57 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

Love you... It's funny how two words can take up so little space on a piece of paper, but fill up ALL of the space in my heart.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 05:27 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 43 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[(Rubber stamp: I GREW HEMP)]

Although not as successful as the "State Quarter" program, the "State Illegal Drug Dollar" program proved quite popular in California.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:25 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 30 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

2) In "Homer Alone", where does Marge go to get away from it all?

3) (T/F) Baby photographer and airline steward are two of the jobs Marge's dad once had

4) Marge once worked as a carhop at which burger stand?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:22 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 66 words, total size 1 kb.

(cross-posted from IMAO)

Iraqi police guard precious shipments of Avon beauty products during delivery to the newly de-burqafied women of Iraq.

[Hat tip to CENTCOM for the pic]

Posted by: Harvey at 05:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 41 words, total size 1 kb.

To Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony.

Even though he's only punk who's just now getting around to turning 40, I still thought I should post a little something to thank the man who hosts my blog,

A very little something...

A very little something you'd have a hard time explaining to your boss, so it's in the extended entry. more...

Posted by: Harvey at 05:26 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 73 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I'm not sure, but I think Pixy already has one of those. Then again, is it possible to have too many of them?

Posted by: Ogre at September 20, 2006 06:18 AM (oifEm)

2 Thanks Harvey.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at September 20, 2006 05:09 PM (0Lkqa)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

(Introduction)

The four most important words in any marriage... "I'll do the dishes."

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 05:24 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 27 words, total size 1 kb.

(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Prov 11:25 - Seed for Debt Free Prov 13:22 - The wealth of the Sinner is laid up to the just]

Prov 15:19 - Hot tip - put everything you've got on the Packers to win the Super Bowl this year. Just trust me on this one... why am I laughing?... uh... I just remembered a really funny joke that one of the Archangels told me this morning...

Posted by: Harvey at 05:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 57 words, total size 1 kb.