(Introduction)

2) What famous singer helps get Bart out of the well?

3) In "The Otto Show", whose concert does Bart attend?

4) Whose concert does Homer sneak backstage during, pretending to be the potato man?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:09 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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NEW CLAN MEMBER?

I vouch for the character of Swap Blog because...

...well, they asked me, and they don't suck.

But if for no other reason, there's this:

We listen to both kinds of real music - bluegrass / Celtic and speed metal

According to the rules, they still need two other Bad Example Family members to link their application post before they make the blogroll. Go check 'em out & see if they're worthy.

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While the IMAO podcast HAS returned in sporadic fashion, I'm still going to keep posting the latest uncut Fun Facts About The 50 States - hopefully on a weekly schedule. Figure by the time it shows up in a podcast, you'll have forgotten all the jokes anyway.

This week, we'll be visiting the state where, when a man says "mine's bigger", he's talking about his belt buckle, because we're headed to Oklahoma. So let's get started...

Oklahoma was admitted to the union as the 46th state on November 16th, 1907, in order to fill a diversity quota for states that vaguely resemble cookware.

The state flower of Oklahoma is mistletoe. Its berries are deadly poisonous, which is convenient since there's really nothing to live for in Oklahoma, anyway.

Oklahoma's name comes from the Choctaw Indian word "oka-oma", which means "mobile home destroyed by tornado".

The state song of Oklahoma is, as you would expect, the title song from the musical "Oklahoma". Which doesn't make the residents of the state gay. Unless they actually LIKE the song.

The world's first parking meter was installed in Oklahoma City, and was seen as a reasonable alternative to the previous method of controlling parking time - throwing a dead skunk on the hood of the vehicle after 30 minutes.

Although most residents of Vinita, Oklahoma, were pleased to become the first city in the state to receive electricity in 1871, city hall was soon inundated by complaints from citizens who were unable to make their VCR's stop blinking "12:00".

Oklahoma City has an operating oil well on its capitol grounds. Despite numerous attempts to have it removed, Mr. Clampett firmly refuses to sell.

Duncan, Oklahoma is home to a life-size statue of a cattle drive, titled, "I Crap Bigger Than You".

Boise City, Oklahoma was the only city in the US to be bombed during World War II. In 1943, a US B-17 bomber dropped 6 practice bombs on the town as a warning to other cities that were still selling sauerkraut instead of "Liberty Cabbage".

Okmulgee, Oklahoma holds the record for the world's largest pecan pie. It was 60 feet in diameter, and contained over 300,000 pecans, as well as a dozen squirrels who didn't get out of the nut bin in time.

The state motto of Oklahoma is "labor omnia vincit", which means "my brother was an extra in 'Twister'".

Oklahoma residents are known as "Sooners", after the disreputable people who made homestead claims prior to the official start time of noon on April 22nd, 1889. Personally, I don't like the nickname because it makes light of a serious offense. It's like referring to terrorists who blow up children as "baby boomers".

The National Cowboy Hall of Fame is located in Oklahoma City. Whaddya wanna be that Terrell Owens throws a fit because they won't induct him?

Every April, the city of Beaver, Oklahoma, holds the World Championship Cow Chip Throw. It's the one time of year where the phrase "You wanna watch me fling poo?" actually works as a pick-up line.

Sylvan Goldman of Oklahoma City invented the modern shopping cart, enabling the homeless to at last to transport their worldly goods without the use of Sherpas.

Jenks, Oklahoma, is home to more antique stores than any other city, and has more useless, outdated, unworkable items than a Democractic Party platform.

The first capital city of Oklahoma was Guthrie, but it was later moved to Oklahoma City, since no one wanted their state to be associated with a crappy folk singer.

I mean, "You can get anything you want blah, blah, blah" over and over and over. Doesn't that song ever freakin' END?

At over a mile in length, Oklahoma's Pensacola Dam is the world's largest multiple arch dam. In case of leaks, there are emergency repair kits every 1000 feet containing a sponge and a roll of duct tape.

Bob Dunn of Beggs, Oklahoma, invented the world's first electric guitar in 1935, about the same time that his mother coined the phrase "turn that crap down!".

At 287 feet above sea level, Little River, Oklahoma is the lowest point in the state and is reputed to be one of the many low places where Oklahoma native Garth Brooks has friends.

Oklahoma City's WKY was the first radio station to broadcast west of the Mississippi. It's first transmission was "HELP! TORNADO!".

The National Lighter Museum in Guthrie, Oklahoma, contains over 20,000 lighters, the largest collection outside of a Rolling Stones concert.

Oklahoma was the setting for the movie Twister, which proved to be very difficult to shoot, since other tornadoes kept sneaking onto the set and holding up "Hi Mom!" signs.

Antlers, Oklahoma now bills itself as "The Deer Capital of the World" after recieving too many complaints about its previous nickname of "The World's Horniest City".

Oklahoma is one of only two states whose capital cities include the name of the state. The other is New York.

Why yes, I *did* fail geography in high school. How did you know?

The first YIELD sign was installed in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and was generally considered an improvement over the earlier version which simply said "Prepare For Impact".

Oklahoma has more man-made lakes than any other state, most of which are a result of a lack of duct tape at the Pensacola Dam.

Humorist Will Rogers was born in Oologah, Oklahoma, and is best known for his saying, "I never met a man I didn't like". Please note that he died before Michael Moore was born.

Durant, Oklahoma is home to "the world's largest peanut" - a 3-footer. After being informed that Georgia had a 6-foot peanut, Oklahoma renamed theirs "the world's largest peanut - after taxes".

Oklahoma was featured in the book, "The Grapes of Wrath", as well as the sequel, "The Raisins of Petulance".

---

That wraps up the Oklahoma edition of Fun Facts About the 50 States. Next week we'll be helping the border patrol beat up on hippies sneaking north from California as we visit Oregon.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go fling some poo. Anyone wanna watch?

Posted by: Harvey at 03:06 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I drove through Oklahoma this summer with a couple of my friends on our way across the country. Yep. I haven't been to all of them, but I've been to a lot, and so far, Oklahoma is my least favorite state by far. Also: "Oklahoma is one of only two states whose capital cities include the name of the state. The other is New York." Wow. You need to check your facts a little closer, that's completely wrong! You forgot about Florida City, Florida; The capital of Florida.

Posted by: Joey at October 25, 2006 09:41 AM (gS95o)

2 Funny! Just found my way here via Conservative Cat.

Posted by: Jenny Ryan at October 25, 2006 02:54 PM (on6mn)

3 How funny! But I must say- even though I live in Oklahoma, I am in no means, an OKIE. Although I preferred Antler's first nickname when I lived there (believe you me, it was NOT on purpose....that's just where the carnival made it's annual stop for the winter.)

Posted by: Rave at October 26, 2006 11:00 AM (Fir0Z)

4 As an Okie by marriage, I thoroughly enjoyed tis post. :-) So, so true... (Now I am just lookin' forward to Wyoming...)

Posted by: Richmond at November 01, 2006 07:58 PM (e8QFP)

5 I guess some of your attempts at humor were ok. I love Oklahoma. I've lived in Texas, Florida and England and Oklahoma beats them. No overcrowding, clean air and water, great schools and real people. And we are Democrats to the nines. Life is wonderful.

Posted by: Elizabeth at April 01, 2007 02:30 PM (XLhye)

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Got this from Bloodspite of Technography

OTHER FRIENDS: Never ask for food

MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

OTHER FRIENDS: Call your parents "Mr. and Mrs."

MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat girl you tried to pick up

OTHER FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we f***ed up...but that was fun...but I'm not calling the CO this time!!!!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Cry with you.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Laugh at you and tell you to "man up, Nancy boy!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff untill they PCS.

OTHER FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste... that's alcohol abuse!!!"

OTHER FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say "okay just one more"... 2 minutes later - "okay just one more".

OTHER FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them on their ass!

OTHER FRIENDS: Will support you when you try to quit smoking

MILITARY FRIENDS: Will blow smoke in your face and offer you cigarettes until you cave, then call you a wuss for relapsing.

Posted by: Harvey at 08:10 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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...and start worrying about the REAL threat:

VELOCIRAPTORS!

[hat tip: bloggranddaughter VW Bug of One Happy Dog Speaks]

Posted by: Harvey at 08:01 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Frank J. of IMAO tipped me to this post by Scott Adams of The Dilbert Blog wherein he shares his thoughts on success. Here's his theory in a nutshell:

If everyone exposed to a product likes it, the product will not succeed.

He makes an intriguing argument in support. Check it out.

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(Introduction)

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[This started out in KS: Pass it on. Hi everyone!]

Souvenier from Munchkin City's "Dorothy was here" collection.

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(Introduction)

2) When Bart sends Mrs. Krabappel a love letter, he includes a picture of who?

3) What is the name of Nelson's soapbox racer?

4) Millicent is Lisa's riding instructor at what equestrian establishment?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:10 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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To blogson GEBIV of There's One, Only!

I thought I'd get him a nice pic of a hot chick playing a banjo.

After several hours of Googling, I discovered the awful truth:

Hot chicks don't play the banjo.

Happy Birthday anyway... :-/

Posted by: Harvey at 06:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every dayÂ’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhoodÂ’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Catch Livery Service (cab) (773) 379 - 6000]

Since selling human organs is illegal, black market organ dealers often resort to subtly disguised messages to get the word out.

Livery, indeed...

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(Introduction)

2) What kind of car does Ned Flanders own?

3) In the corner of the Simpson's kitchen, there's a cookie jar shaped like what?

4) What is the name of the fancy restaurant often visited by the Simpsons?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 06:30 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

[new note - not previously posted]

Some people search their whole lives for one moment of what we share together.

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

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(Introduction)

(click to enlarge)

[Winamac, Indiana 2000 dirty dirty dirty dirty]

Souvenier from Winamac's 10th annual "Oscar Madison Days" festival.

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(Introduction)

2) Why did Homer want to buy a recreational vehicle so badly?

3) When the Simpsons go camping, what do Marge and Lisa discuss as they build camp?

4) If it weren't for Jebediah Springfield, the early settlers would've died in what?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:53 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Due to an unfortunate VCR programming accident, I missed taping last Friday's Battlestar Galactica episode (Exodus, Part 2). Having read the detailed synopsis at the link, I've realized that this was truly the BEST. EPISODE. EVER. and that I will die if I don't get to see it.

So... anyone know where I can view it online?

Or if you can send me a videotape, I'll gladly pay postage both ways.

Posted by: Harvey at 11:52 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bed rock!

(CAUTION: Romantics beware - comments may contain naughtiness)

Posted by: Harvey at 05:52 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

[colored-on penny]

This proposed re-design for the penny was rejected by the US Mint as being "just a little too "Queer Eye"".

Posted by: Harvey at 05:50 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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(Introduction)

2) Which Simpsons character laughs at totally inappropriate times?

3) Who has been seen eating Chef Lonelyhearts Soup For One?

4) Who did Krusty once present an Emmy to?

Official Trivia Card answers in the comments tomorrow.

Posted by: Harvey at 05:46 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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