WIFE 101
Whenever I go to a social event with Beloved Wife, (aka TNT of
Smiling Dynamite - who has a new banner image at the top of her site that she'd like feedback on), everyone comments on what a close and loving couple we are.
Ok, it was only Tammi in the comments to some post I can't find now, but still...
So... how do we do it? Is it love? Magic? The fact that I'm holding a gun on her and saying "smile, dammit!"?
Possibly all of the above, but I think one of the big things we have going for us is loving habits. Let's look at a typical day:
Alarm goes off in the morning - I roll over and kiss her good morning.
She leaves for work - I kiss her goodbye and tell her I love her.
She comes home from work - I stop what I'm doing, meet her at the door and ask her how her day was.
She leaves to go work out (or go shopping, or play racquetball, or go spend time with one of her friends) - I kiss her goodbye and tell her I love her.
She comes home from whatever - I stop what I'm doing, meet her at the door and ask her how her activity went.
She decides to go to bed (I usually stay up a little later to do some blogging) - I tuck her in and kiss her.
I come to bed - I kiss her goodnight and tell her I love her.
Sometimes there's more, sometimes there isn't. On some busy days, this is practically the only interaction we have - maybe 20 minutes of face-to-face time.
But these things are ALWAYS there. 24/7/365.
Just reading about it, one my be inclined to scoff that these things are just habit by now, and aren't really that meaningful.
One would be wrong.
A habit is something you do without thinking about it.
These are RITUALS. Activities that, although familiar, are engaged in with special focus, attention, and reverence.
There are no surprises involved, we both know exactly what's coming - but these are the times of the day when the world dissolves and there is only us. It's our time, and it's important. Even if we're in the middle of an argument, the rituals are there. No matter what happens, we at least have that foundation to build on.
Feel free to share YOUR rituals in the comments.
Posted by: Harvey at
09:28 PM
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1
Habit = take for granted. That is very, very bad.
Ritual = you matter. I enjoy you.
The quickest way to get rid of me? Take me for granted.
I was engaged to a guy who always made me feel so very special. Everytime we went out - I was greated with a kiss and "I love you". We never hung up the phone without I love you's. But the best...what made me melt every single morning? He left for work as I needed to be waking up. He started everyday that we were together by bringing me a fresh cup of coffee in bed and waking me up with a kiss......
Posted by: Tammi at February 28, 2005 06:11 AM (HaRi0)
2
We do all that mushy stuff that Harvey mentioned, but the most special, the one thing that just gets me all extra mushy?
He still opens and closes my car door for me, every.single.time. Yep.
I noticed yesterday as we were coming out from breakfast (we go out to breakfast every sunday) and he went around to open my door for me an old man was next to us getting out of his car and when he noticed this he smiled. It's something that you just don't see much of anymore.
Posted by: Machelle at February 28, 2005 09:04 AM (ZAyoW)
3
Yep, used to do that stuff too.
We used to have lunch together too somtimes, that was extra special time.
Posted by: _Jon at February 28, 2005 09:13 AM (RZ4Hy)
4
I work with my wife, we see each other all the time. We even go to lunch together. Be it actually eating or running errands. But we have our daily rituals, but those are for us and I don't want to go into them. It just feels wrong to share something that personal.
BTW Harvey, I post here more then occasionally as you stated over at Susie's.
Posted by: contagion at February 28, 2005 10:10 AM (Q5WxB)
5
Hubby and I have some very similar daily rituals... Most mornings I wake him up with kisses and snuggles... Every night I try to go to bed at the same time as he does even if I don't feel sleepy (I'll read if he zonks out)... I have to say good night before he falls asleep (and I'll wake him up to do it if need be)... and before I leave the house - I have a longer drive to work - every morning I say goodbye to various parts of his anatomy (I'll leave that to your fertile imaginations) and make kissy noises as well as the real kiss goodbye.
Married 4 years this May - our goal is to still be making people nauseous in 50 years. ;D
Posted by: songstress7 at February 28, 2005 10:14 AM (jEGU/)
6
As soon as I started reading this and saw the line "Whenever I go to a social event with Beloved Wife" I spat my drink everywhere! You LEAVE the house? I think NOT ;-D
Posted by: Alex at February 28, 2005 01:43 PM (pBBIC)
7
Alex - well... we DO take a spare mattress with us wherever we go.
Never know when you'll need one ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at February 28, 2005 06:03 PM (ubhj8)
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