The Cruelty of Glenn Reynolds

(A Filthy Lie cross-posted from IMAO)

Recently someone asked me, "Hey Harv, how come you're always picking on Glenn Reynolds? You nursing some kind of grudge for something he's done to you?"

So what else could I do but answer him?...

...With a song...

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You're asking what Glenn's done to me?
It's pretty plain for all to see
His vile deeds have ruined my life
Filled it full of stress and strife!

My dog was blended by this man
He whizzed into my garbage can
Ate my goldfish, smashed my table
Told Time-Warner that I stole cable

Made off with my credit card
Burned his name into my yard
Ate my cookies, cracked my eggs,
Tattooed peace signs on my legs.

Put pop cans in my microwave
Spit upon my grandpa's grave
Buried hobos in my cellar
Told bad jokes 'bout Helen Keller

Wrapped my car around a tree
Gave me clap - it hurts to pee!
Made my new computer crash
Put borax in my cocaine stash

Drained my laptop battery
Robot-danced on my TV
Ate my Twinkies, greased my slide
Shaved my kitten's underside

Didn't link my funny post
Sprinkled dandruff on my toast
Punched Frank J. and made him cry
(No, wait... that makes me like the guy)

Grafittied my walls, stole my wallet
Made me lose my otherwise impeccable talent for meter and rhyme
"Love thy neighbor"? Surely you jest!
INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

Posted by: Harvey at 09:51 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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