A reader e-mailed me recently and mentioned that, while she had a strong opinion on my current debate with Ogre about the origins of the universe, she was worried that if she posted on it or left a comment, she'd start getting hatemail.

A not-invalid concern.

However, in my experience, I've found that you usually don't need to worry about hatemail as long as you keep your posts confined to ideas and don't make snarky personal comments about another blogger.

Don't get me wrong - I have NO problem with laying out blazing-hot personal invective. But, personally, I reserve that for public figures who are used to that sort of thing and who dismiss me as being a bitter old crank. When it comes to discussing ideas with a "person of blog", though, remember that your name-calling WILL get back to him - maybe through Technorati, or referer logs, or trackback, or an e-mail from a friend - and you WILL have to answer for your cheap shots.

Don't take them unless you're prepared to either defend them or apologize.

For example, in this post arguing about the Iraq war, I called someone a "pecker-head". This personal insult was unprovoked, and when I was called on it, I admitted that I was wrong and apologized for it.

Lesson learned - NEVER initiate name-calling when arguing with another blogger.

Nevertheless, there will be times when you decide to take the plunge and discuss with a fellow blogger a contentious issue about which you feel strongly. This CAN be done without degenerating into a schoolyard shouting-match if you remember one simple rule:

DON'T USE THE "S" WORD

Which in this case is "stupid".

It's fine to call an idea wrong, unworkable, ill-advised, impractical, speculative, or unfeasible - but the minute you call it "stupid", you've just implied that the person you're arguing with is ALSO stupid for holding that idea.

Same goes for any synonyms.

After that, it's the downward spiral of Godwin's Law, and someone is going to get called a Nazi.

So my advice is - stick with the issue

State your position, then state your reasons for believing as you do. If you can't explain your reasons clearly, consult Google or Wikipedia to find some better-written argumentation to support your point and link that.

When reading someone's contentious response, you may feel the need to use the "S" word. Keep in mind that your fellow blogger is NOT stupid. They have very likely put SOME thought into their position, but simply failed to explain of what that thought consisted. ASK them to explain their reasoning. Given enough probing, you may well discover that there ARE reasons why an otherwise intelligent person might accept a notion that you consider wrong. Once you have those reasons, THEN you can debate whether they're sufficient to support the conclusion.

You CAN have a civilized discussion on a hard topic. It just takes a little patience.

For further tangentially related thoughts, see also my posts on:

Rhetoric

and

Trolls

Posted by: Harvey at 09:46 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 515 words, total size 4 kb.

1 Good points. Thanks for putting it in writing.

Posted by: vw bug at September 30, 2005 10:17 AM (J3xJ9)

2 Fuckin Nazi...

Posted by: Madfish Willie at September 30, 2005 07:36 PM (YFiLK)

3 Didn't really mean that... just taking off on your post... maybe that was a bad idea... it was a bad idea... I humbly ask your forgiveness!!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at September 30, 2005 07:38 PM (YFiLK)

4 You would ask for forgiveness, you submissive little bitch. I harvey still making you eat his poo when you misbehave? Flaming poofters. What was this entry about again?

Posted by: Graumagus at September 30, 2005 10:50 PM (+MqAR)

5 This post was fuckin' stupid... And since you posted it, you've gotta be stupid, oh blogfaddah!

Posted by: That 1 Guy at September 30, 2005 11:53 PM (caj7f)

6 BtW... I just farted in your general direction. Feh....

Posted by: That 1 Guy at September 30, 2005 11:54 PM (caj7f)

7 You're ALL a bunch of Nazis! So... did you run out of Jews & now you're coming for the Atheists? NAZIS!!!1! :-P

Posted by: Harvey at October 01, 2005 10:09 AM (ubhj8)

8 Fuck off all you dickheads!!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at October 01, 2005 11:45 PM (YFiLK)

9 It's Bush's fault! All of it! Fuckin' tards... Heheheh....

Posted by: That 1 Guy at October 02, 2005 01:42 AM (nASgA)

10 Bush is a dickhead AND a Nazi. A hurricane causing Nazi who hates black people!

Posted by: Harvey at October 02, 2005 10:04 AM (ubhj8)

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