Believe it or not, there is something more desperately pathetic than cat blogging. That's key blogging. Tiffany started it. I'm keeping it going.

Pray to God it ends with me.

(click to enlarge)

I own 3 keychains. Each with 2 keys. 4 of those keys are work-related, and not shown because my readers are sick, twisted, and perpetually on the edge of some weird Bonnie & Clyde-style cross-country rampage of murder and theivery, so I don't trust you not to copy them and steal all the money at the bank.

You can see the house key, because the house is protected by my horse-dog, Jake.

You can see the car key, because I paid $400 for the damn thing, and it's got enough miles on it to have been driven to the moon at apogee.

The key chain... well, I'm taking a chance here, because it's the coolest keychain ever. Yes, that's actually a functional spirit level.

The other cool thing about it is the unique shape lets me differentiate it from the other two keychains by touch (the other two keychains are a flat plastic rectangle, and a bottle-opener in the shape of a bottle of Budweiser, which was a gift from one of my favorite bank customers).

Now, please, nobody else do this.

Posted by: Harvey at 07:28 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 233 words, total size 2 kb.

1 A spirit level? On a keychain? Would this ensure that your car is level? Or do you use it on the way home from the bar to ensure you are level with the ground? Or maybe you use it to make sure the stacks of money at the bank are level? Just wondering. :-)

Posted by: Teresa at May 27, 2004 08:39 AM (nAfYo)

2 I thought it was a crack vial

Posted by: dave at May 27, 2004 08:53 AM (a16BY)

3 Just a guess, but my bet is it somehow involves boobies.

Posted by: Dana at May 27, 2004 08:54 AM (vgtCY)

4 Yes, you can use it to keep the nipples level.

Posted by: J. Fielek at May 27, 2004 11:56 AM (KrqaO)

5 Oh dear. I'm glad I took my fuzzy pig off my keychain before taking that picture.

Posted by: Tiffany at May 27, 2004 01:20 PM (YGb9H)

6 Next thing you know, Harvey will be posting about pinching a loaf... what a freak show.

Posted by: Madfish Willie at May 27, 2004 02:33 PM (rQ9MS)

7 Teresa - actually, I use it to make sure that Mr. Happy can still make it above horizontal. More of a challenge as the years go by, ya know ;-) The rest of you people are all just sick & twisted. I can't believe you're polluting my fine, family-oriented, G-rated blog with all your disgusting, perverted filth. That's MY job.

Posted by: Harvey at May 27, 2004 06:23 PM (ubhj8)

8 Christ, I need more keys than that to go take a shit. Seriously, I have at least twenty keys on mine and have to use them often. Here's me wishing I had a digital camera once again....

Posted by: Graumagus at May 30, 2004 10:06 PM (QUYrK)

9 Scanner works just as well. It's how I did mine.

Posted by: Harvey at May 31, 2004 11:42 PM (ubhj8)

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