No, Christmas trees.
Bah.
I was raised with an artificial tree, and I think they're better.
It's true that live-tree-ites get to enjoy the ritual of decorating the tree with the same ornaments year after year, thus providing an unchanging tradition that binds the generations.
However, they're missing out on fully one-half of the true experience.
Dragging that heavy, dusty, beat up box full of badly-faked pine tree out of the basement. Tossing the branches onto the floor, sorted by size. Or more specifically, sorted by the color-coding on the tips of the branches. The color-coding that gets harder to identify every year ("I think I see orange.", "No, that's just rust", "I'm pretty sure that's the right length for the reds").
There's a certain satisfaction, along with a growing sense of wonder, as the tree slowly gets assembled, takes shape, and becomes recognizable as the family Christmas icon.
Not to mention that coming-of-age moment when you're FINALLY tall enough to put that top branch into place.
After that moment comes the decoration, and it's the same for both the "live" and "fake" camps.
But I tell ya, you needle-sweepers don't know what you're missing.
1
I can do you one better -- I rescued my grandmother's old aluminum tree, complete with the little rotating-color-disk light. THAT is a real artificial tree.
Posted by: Phelps at November 29, 2004 03:23 AM (pA4A2)
2
My aunt and uncle had one of those, Phelps! It was awesome when I was a kid--my sisters and I were endlessly fascinated watching the red, green and blue gels turn, making the tree sparkle like diamonds. I wonder what ever happened to it....
Posted by: Susie at November 29, 2004 06:30 AM (3nS88)
3
"Real artificial tree?" Eh?
Harv, do you spray it with evergreen smell, too?
Posted by: Ogre at November 29, 2004 07:20 AM (/k+l4)
4
My family had a fake tree for years, and that brought back some happy memories of trying to discern well worn colors...
But a live tree IS the way to go. It smells better, and with the excess that always has to be cut off a nice bough for the mantle can be constructed.
Also, people grow those suckers for a living; it's my duty to support the economy by purchasing their wares...
Posted by: pam at November 29, 2004 08:21 AM (l6NIn)
5
Yeah, but their almost all from Blue States... (Northwest and Northeast)
Posted by: GEBIV at November 29, 2004 11:46 AM (0lbTs)
6
Every other year we do a fake tree in one room and a real one in the other. The off year it's just the fake. (The travel year is the fake tree only year.) When we buy real, I refuse to buy it before mid-December. As nice as it is to have both, one the kids put their junk stuff on and one I decorate, it is a pain in the neck. I prefer the fake only year.
Posted by: Boudicca at November 29, 2004 12:02 PM (XH1zZ)
7
Whatever you do... DON'T get a red-flocked tree and put it on a beige carpet... dumb-ass broad fucked up my carpet forever...
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 29, 2004 12:40 PM (i3SrF)
8
Ogre - Nah, I let the cats spray it with kitty-whiz smell, instead :-)
Which reminds me about how, after a while, you learn not to hang the breakables on the high branches when you have cats.
And THEN you learn not to hang breakables at all.
Posted by: Harvey at November 29, 2004 01:49 PM (tJfh1)
9
Actually, the BEST way to stand a Christmas tree so that it can't get knocked over is to hang it from the ceiling... never had one knocked down in over 20 years working in nightclubs...
Posted by: Madfish Willie at November 29, 2004 02:04 PM (i3SrF)
10
You mean you actually prefer to miss out on the "joy" of finding real pine needles in the carpet in July?
Posted by: Lynn S at November 29, 2004 02:24 PM (BnyT0)
11
Tinsel is just as evil. I'm tempted to quit trying to vacuum it up from one Christmas to the next...
Posted by: Sally at November 29, 2004 03:08 PM (a1D32)
12
If I want pine needles in my house, I'll let the dogs come in without wiping their paws ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at November 29, 2004 05:01 PM (tJfh1)
13
I gave up on trees a couple of years ago...
We always go out of town (or we used to) for Christmas, so we never felt comfortable having a real tree. After all, who wants to buy a real one and then throw it out a couple days before the big day, because you're leaving town and it will dry out?
We had an artificial tree for years. That was okay - a pain to set up - but okay. Then we flooded - the tree, which resided in it's cardboard box in the basement on the floor, was a dead loss. So, I bought a new one for that year. The next fall, we flooded again... I give up - end of trees!
I don't have small children or grandchildren, so it doesn't matter. I have my 3 foot tabletop tree that I can plug in and it turns all different colors - works for me. Easy up, easy down, no muss, no fuss. *grin*
Posted by: Teresa at November 29, 2004 10:33 PM (nAfYo)
14
I seem to be a little late to this party, but I just want to add that every year, my family puts a fake tree in one room and a real tree in another room. It seems like a good system.
Posted by: CD at November 30, 2004 09:38 AM (bsi5Z)
15
Live trees only, at our house. Hubby grew up with a fake tree, prefers the live one for the pine smell. He hates those pine scented candles and such because nothing smells like fresh pine. That, and we've only got a thousand square feet in here for the five of us. A real tree doesn't require as much storage space.
BTW the kids are decorating the rosemary bush too... IF they can keep their room clean for two more consecutive days...
Posted by: Wacky Hermit at November 30, 2004 01:27 PM (1OwrP)
16
We have a brass and steel Menorah...
We use blue and white candles, too.
Posted by: J. Fielek at November 30, 2004 08:33 PM (92htO)
17
Our newest house has REALLY high ceilings and we put the tree in the crook of the curved staircase, so a real tree would cost a fortune. I got an 8 foot prelit monster and it's GORGEOUS. Also it comes in three easy pieces, two large boxes. Just put up the stand, put in the base section, the middle section and the tippy top and that's it. It does take an hour or so of fluffing and finesse to make it look just right, though. It is also much safer for expensive crystal, china and glass ornaments. Our real trees' branches were never strong enough to hold up the entire month. I just use pine candles and room spray and get a real pine and juniper wreath for inside the front door and you never know the difference.
Posted by: Momotrips at December 01, 2004 08:50 AM (IlAxX)
18
J - I'm tempted to convert to Judaism just for the convenience factor.
That, and the whole "secretly controlling the world" aspect. That sounds like fun! ;-)
Posted by: Harvey at December 01, 2004 05:06 PM (ubhj8)
19
This is my first year without a Christmas tree. *sad*
But at least I won't have to put lights on this season!
Mark
Games - Mythos
Posted by: Mark Johnson at December 06, 2004 12:39 PM (XhqmR)
20
Mark - That's the most on-topic comment spam I've ever seen. I'll let that stay.
Posted by: Harvey at December 07, 2004 12:49 AM (ubhj8)
21
A list of Benefits of Artificial Christmas Trees.
Artificial Christmas trees last longer than real trees.
Artificial Christmas trees are safer than real trees because they are not a fire hazard.
Studies show that plastic artificial Christmas trees are thrown out after ten years.
There is no hassle in buying artificial Christmas trees because they are found in many shops around Christmas.
Artificial Christmas trees can be decorated with tinsel or foliage coloured tinsel.
Artificial Christmas trees are generally inexpensive, because they are made out of cheap inexpensive materials whereas many cheaper live trees are of poor quality as well as they deteriorate quickly. Shop around to find a tree that you like within your price limit!
Artificial Christmas trees don't litter the floor with pine needles like real trees do.
Artificial Christmas trees don't bother you if you don't like the smell of pine or have allergies.
If you happen to like the smell of pine you can buy a special pine spray for your artificial Christmas trees.
Artificial Christmas trees can't rot like real trees can.
Artificial Christmas trees are easy to assemble and easy to store away.
Artificial Christmas trees don't weigh much.
Posted by: Artificial Christmas Trees at October 24, 2005 03:45 PM (309Nl)
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